Your first gay bar...

[Rhinestone Cowboy]

I was just taking a little trip down memory lane thinking about the very first gay bar I ever went to. It was a place called Paradise in Cambridge, Mass. I was living in Boston and went with a friend of mine. This was the late 80's. I went with a friend of mine, and he could tell I was nervous. As we walked into the place he turned to me and said, "Remember, EVERYONE in here is gay." It was exactly the right thing for him to say to calm me down, as I realized for the first time in my life that I was walking into an environment where I could be completely comfortable being myself. Maybe it's an amazing place now, if it's even still there, but at the time Paradise was sort of a dump. I loved the louche, dingy sexuality of it. It was very unpretentious, just a bar and a big open dance floor and good dance music. I went there all the time, and it was a real haven at a time when you couldn't be as completely open about your sexuality as you can today.

 

If you feel like reminiscing, I would love to hear everyone else's experiences at their first gay bar...fascinating to hear about what it was like in different areas and at different eras.

[uwsman2]

My first time was also in Boston - Sporters. Where I met my first real "boyfriend" the first time I went on my own. (I had been there once or twice before with other folks.) I stumbled into the bar on Gay Pride Day - at that time not being hooked into the community and the event not being given any advance publicity in the Boston Globe, I didn't know it was Gay Pride Day. The atmosphere in the bar that evening was "up" and "festive" and everybody was much less intense and more chatty than is the norm for gay bars, and I, the terminally shy one, fell into conversation with an "older man" (I was 25, he was about 35) and ended up going home with him and having truly glorious sex. This is the guy who taught me how to get fucked. And although it was a brief affair, we remained in touch, visited back and forth between Boston and NY over the years, and I mourned his death a few years ago when somebody who went through his "little black book" after he was found in his apartment contacted me.

 

So, Sporters.... I have a soft spot in my heart for that bar, even though I was only in it a few times. Is it still operating there in the shadows of the State House?

[Guest Spanker01]

My first was on the other side of the river in Boston. Place was called 12 Carver Street. I was in my early 20's, very nervous, and alone. As I walked into the bar area, there was "Sylvia Sideny", dresed as a man but obviously very angry over not being invited to someones party. His exact statement to the guys he was with, delivered in a high pitched voice was: "and he invited everbody to his party except ME" My reaction was to turn and head for the door, but stopped and told myself I had to do this, went to a part of the bar away from them, sat down, ordered a drink, and the rest is history.

 

Spanker

[+ Cock Eyed Optimist]

My first bar was a stripper bar in Chicago called The Lucky Horseshoe. I had only vague notions of what went on inside and I was nervous about entering. My heart was pounding. So, I walked around the block. I don't know how many times I walked around the block before I saw someone entering. I took a deep breath and went in on his coattails. Once I had a few drinks, I loosened up and had a great time. I had picked the right place because it is a laid back friendly place without the attitude of other bars I could have chosen. I still frequent the place.

[+ Charlie]

I can't remember the name of the first gay bar I went to, because I was in it for only a few minutes. Someone had told my best friend and me about it, so we decided to investigate. It was on W. 45th St in New York, and we went at happy hour. In those days, the legal drinking age in NY was 18, but I was only 17, so they threw me out. However, my friend was 18, so he stayed for one drink; he met me about an hour later and told me it was pretty dull.

 

A couple of years later, I was legal to go to the Fawn, a short-lived gay dance bar in the West Village, where I was able to dance with other guys for the first time, not only fast dances but also slow ones. I went back several nights a week for as long as it was in business. It was where I heard Piaf's "No, je ne regrette rien," for the first time. I still regret nothing.

 

P.S. I remember going to Sporters in the late 1960s, when it was the most exciting place in Boston.

[josephga]

hoedowns A now closed country western type bar in Atlanta That was in 98. I can probably count on one hand the times iv been too a bar in my life last time was around 2006 just not my thing too do

[Decatur Guy]

Boy, my first gay bar was so unmemorable I had to really think hard about it. I believe it was a nondescript place on the Florida Gulf Coast. I don't remember the name and pretty sure nothing happened. I went in, drank, left.

[+ Axiom2001]

Well, guys, my first step into a gay bar was NOT as positive as it should have been if I had known in advance about the venue and its ambiance. I had taken my good friend of many years to see "Boys in the Band" in San Francisco. Afterwards he asked me to accompany him to a restaurant. That it was not; it was a quiet gay bar which had a quiet atmosphere and a few men who were listening to the good music and conversing. I was beside myself and wanted to leave because at that time I was really NOT "out" to myself, as such, or to others. My friend had deceived me, and I had not appreciated this, so we left, and until today I still like to talk about this briefly with him and then laugh and NOT make so much of this primary initiation. I also applaud myself in how far I've come.

 

In looking back at this experience, I think if he'd told me in advance where we were going and in his own way prepared me before entrance, it would not have been mildly traumatic for me. But in my knowing him better than his actually knowing me--that is part of him-- not telling the truth and being completely "real" with individuals whom he considers to be his good friends. That's it, men!

[bostonman]

So, Sporters.... I have a soft spot in my heart for that bar, even though I was only in it a few times. Is it still operating there in the shadows of the State House?

 

Sporters is long gone, as is Buddies (which I think is the first Boston gay bar I went to when I came here for college), and the "1270"...even Napoleon's...all the clubs that were the "go to" places in the 1980's.

 

I wish I could remember the name of the first gay bar I went to - it was in Hartford, CT, early 80's - fairly large bar with a dance floor. But I can't remember the name of it. I'm sure it's also long gone. I also remember going to the Chez Est in Hartford, which still seems to be in business (though I think it's been technically renamed to "Chez").

 

Though in my "coming out" years - late high school and in college - I did a fair amount of "clubbing" - it was never really my thing - and after college, I really didn't go to gay clubs all that much - but hell, I don't really go to straight clubs much either, lol. I tend to prefer a quieter atmospheres, or restaurants, etc. (And I've always been a lousy dancer, and I hate "house music" lol.) But for me it was definitely part of the experience of coming out and forming my identity as a gay man - here was a special kind of place we could go to be ourselves - and it did mean something back then. But I think I outgrew that *need* for places like that, somehow, as I really started growing up after college.

 

I don't think I ever went to Sporters, though I certainly knew about it. (And wasn't that the bar that the author of "The Best Little Boy In The World" went to? lol). But I remember Buddies, and the 1270...as I got older, I think I remember going to Napoleon's a few times - but I remember that as college students, we never wanted to go there, because that was an "old men's bar," lol.

[Guest countryboywny]

My first was LaCage in Washington, DC. It was a strip bar and while I didn't know how to act, the bartender befriended me and the rest is history I sure had a blast that night.

[Phil_musc]

What a great thread this is - it's got me thinking about my early years too. Does anybody here remember the old "Martha's" in Rochester? I think that was my first. I snuck in as furtively as possible praying that no one I knew would see me. I scanned the entire establishment to be sure there was no one there that I knew - I just wasn't ready to be outed. I remember checking out the clientele and trying to see if there was anyone there that was like me - I was too uptight to dance and even liquor wouldn't loosen me up that much - couldn't afford to drink a sufficient amount of booze to have that happen. But I survived and and actually returned numerous times and relaxed somewhat. But then I ran into friends from college and flew into a mini tailspin all over. They calmed me down and welcomed me into the fold. From then on things got better. Like some of you, I'm amazed at just how far I've really come in this journey of self acceptance. Hasn't always been easy.

[edjames]

Summer, 1969! Techically not a gay bar but then one of NYC's hottest disco's called the Sanctuary, a de-sancitifed church on W 43rd St and Ninth Av. Today it is the site of the Westside theater. The crowd was very mixed and gay men and women had no problem same sex dancing. The club was featured in the Jane Fonda movie "Klute." The DJ (Francis) spun his records on the former altar!

 

ED

[+ deej]

My first was the Chesapeake House in DC. It was before AIDS so things were pretty permissive. The dancers were right on the bar, and would squat in front of you for tips, allowing a good bit of fondling and even some sucking. Nothing in DC ever quite lived up to the sleaze that went on inside the 'Peake.

[JT Brooklyn]

"Julius's" I think the place might still be Open after all these Year's? It was one of the Original "Older Men/Younger Guys" Bars in Greenwich Village!

 

Yes at the Time I was the Younger Guy!

 

After this Bar the Flood Gates Opened for me...Internation Stud/Ty's/Tool Box/Hade's/Limelight and other's long forgotten on the Upper East Side as Gay Bars Opened and Closed every 6 months in NYC! Very "Fickle Fags" in my Time!

[josephga]

I didn't have a very good time the few times i went over the years. I noticed in Atlanta most of the people only talked with, and were only friendly with those they went there with, To much uncalled for attitude imo. People are so guarded here. I went to a club in new york in 2000 while visiting a friend and found it much more welcoming and had a much better time..

[Rhinestone Cowboy]

"Julius's" I think the place might still be Open after all these Year's? It was one of the Original "Older Men/Younger Guys" Bars in Greenwich Village!

 

Yes at the Time I was the Younger Guy!

 

After this Bar the Flood Gates Opened for me...Internation Stud/Ty's/Tool Box/Hade's/Limelight and other's long forgotten on the Upper East Side as Gay Bars Opened and Closed every 6 months in NYC! Very "Fickle Fags" in my Time!

 

It's definitely still open! I actually have gone to Julius's a few times. The place is totally frayed around the edges but, believe it or not, there's a guy there who makes hamburgers and fries right in the middle of the bar and they're DELICIOUS. Julius's is actually sort of a landmark...where the gay "movement" started in the 50's even before the stonewall riots. Apparently it's also where Edward Albee met a young professor who was in a horrible marriage to a University President's daughter -- which became the basis for Who's Afraid of Virginia Woolf.

[+ Charlie]

For some reason, no matter how regularly the authorities closed down other gay watering places in the 50s and 60s, Julius's always managed to stay open. I remember going there when I was taking undergraduate summer courses at NYU, and being intimidated by those sophisticated older men.

[uwsman2]

I also would sometimes duck into Julius's during my early years in NYC... but somehow it never seemed like a good place to make a sexual connection - more like a neighborhood hangout.

[Guest Rich.]

"Julius's" I think the place might still be Open after all these Year's? It was one of the Original "Older Men/Younger Guys" Bars in Greenwich Village!

 

Yes at the Time I was the Younger Guy!

 

After this Bar the Flood Gates Opened for me...Internation Stud/Ty's/Tool Box/Hade's/Limelight and other's long forgotten on the Upper East Side as Gay Bars Opened and Closed every 6 months in NYC! Very "Fickle Fags" in my Time!

 

Brookes, did you ever stay home?

 

Richard

[+ glutes]

Brookes, did you ever stay home?

 

Richard

 

rich.boiNOTbn, do you ever sleep?

 

4:10am Saturday (BST) - Time in London, UK

[trilingual]

1964: The Redhead in Kansas City. I was 18 and not "legal," but some surgery on my driver's license did the trick and I was able to go there and the other popular bar at the time, the Arabian Nights ("The Tent"). There was a funny cycle in which the Redhead would be popular for about six months, then everyone would start going to the Tent for about six months, and then back again they'd go to the Redhead.

 

In those days I thought K.C. was unutterably provincial and dreamed of going to New York, but was surprised (and shocked) when I finally got there to discover that gay bars were under siege by the police and ABC -- they couldn't stay open for more than a few weeks before being raided (Julius is the mysterious exception) and you couldn't dance, or kiss, or touch another customer. That was all routine back in Kansas City, where I later learned that there'd never been a raid on a gay bar in the city's history, as far as anybody could remember! The town has apparently been rip-roaring ever since its frontier days, when guys were tricking in the back of spring wagons, and later through the Jazz Age and the Pendergast years, when Prohibition was something that didn't seem to apply in K.C.!!! In spite of being a conservative, religious, Southern-flavored town K.C. always had an unusual live-and-let-live approach to things that's persisted to this day. The Redhead and Tent eventually closed, but new places have arisen to take their place. Hadn't thought about this in years!

 

I actually made my "debut" a couple of years before, when I was 16, when I started going down to the monumentally phallic Liberty Memorial ("The Penis of the Prairies") where there was a busy nightly car cruising scene. Later I would also car cruise late at night on the Country Club Plaza. Unfortunately, both scenes have been shut down by the do-gooders, but in retrospect it was pretty funny -- in those days K.C. closed up at 1:30 a.m., but there were these positive traffic jams at that hour at the Memorial and in the surrounding park! It was the only place in town that was alive and busy then!

[JT Brooklyn]

For some reason, no matter how regularly the authorities closed down other gay watering places in the 50s and 60s, Julius's always managed to stay open. I remember going there when I was taking undergraduate summer courses at NYU, and being intimidated by those sophisticated older men.

 

Julius's I'm guessing was the Closest thing to a CHEERS Bar in the Village. Always supported by Loyal Older Neighborhood Customers who spent money on Drinks & their popular Hamburgers as opposed to the NYC "Pretty Young Things" that never had much money to spend and who would usually walk in the Front door and out the side door heading to West St and the "International Stud" for some Back Room Raw Meat!

 

Great to hear the "Landmark" is still up considering how many have fallen over the years to Gentrification.

[nate_sf]

I was just starting to come out and a friend of mine who I'd met through a personal ad offered to take me to my first gay bar. He thought we should go somewhere that would not be too intense, and suggested a small neighborhood bar in Pacific Heights called the Lion's Pub up on upper Divisadero. So we drove up there and parked a block or so away, and as we crossed Divisadero to get to the bar on the corner got mercilessly heckled by some people in a car waiting at the light. "Woo hoo" "fuckin' faggots" the whole bit. When we got into the bar my friend was mortified... he said in all the years he'd been going out that had never happened to him, but on my first venture out to a gay bar it happened to me. The bar was fine, and I recall the bartenders especially were really hot, but being so newly out and uncomfortable with myself, there was a cloud over the evening.

 

The time that was my first really good gay bar experience was the first time I went to The Stud in South of Market. We went on a Wednesday night which was "college night" at the time, and the place was packed to the walls with hot young guys. I really felt like I'd met "my people" not the least because I was college-aged myself but because it busted many preconceptions I'd had of what it would be like in a gay bar. I was too chicken to approach anybody that time, but went home so excited I couldn't sleep.

[buzz]

Julius has always been there....and it still is. Probably the greatest geriatric gay crowd in NYC....and I'm now one of the geriatrics. Ty's is still going. The Stud was fantastic, and I saw a Prince Albert piercing for the first time in the men's room at the Toolbox. My first gay bar was the Cherry Lane in the West Village....and I have fond memories of Dirty Dicks Saloon (real name) at the corner of Christopher and West streets when the West Side highway was still elevated and ships -- with SAILORS -- still docked along the river there.

[+ Hoover42]

My first gay bar was a small club in Montreal called Le Tarot (1459, rue St. Alexandre). It was the summer of 1975. I got lost trying to find the place, and eventually ended being taken there by a group of young guys I ran into on the street. They were suspicious of me at first, and I later discovered that it was because they thought I was a narc. The place was dark and smoky and playing early disco music. I was too nervous to try to hook up with anyone and I eventually staggered to my hotel and passed out totally frustrated.