Should clients be rude based on someones role preference?

[zach_wilson]

Latley i have been finding that i am almost getting ridiculed because i look like a bottom, however am a top. Some potential clients say very sorry i was looking for a bottom(nice way), some say well there are always other things(true), and i have had some that are completely rude saying that i am false advertising and that i look like a bottom therefore i should be, its even gotten as bad as being hung up on when i asked there interest in the bedroom and indicated im a top. As an escort when someone says they're a top i simply say that i am as well, however there are other things that can be done. Also should a client not book an escort because he's either top or bottom? hopefully y'all can give me a heads up as to how to react when a situation where the client is rude about it , or pointers as to what to do to prevent the mixup of people thinking im a bottom from happening.

[+ purplekow]

Zach, since I had not made your acquaintance nor seen an ad from you, I checked out your profile here to see if there may be a clue to this situation. You are young looking and have a boyish appearance that would lead me to thinking that you were a bottom. The haircut, longish and covering the face suggests bottom to me. However neither of those thing would convince me that you were a bottom masquerading as a top, if you ad indicated that you were a top. There was one thing that seemed to scream bottom to me though, and I think most here will agree, anyone who uses the word "whilst" in his profile is definitely a bottom. Come on, as a top I can tell you the word whilst has never been used in conversation prior to this. So, get a haircut, get older and cut the crap with the whilst and no one will think you a bottom again.

[+ sf westcoaster]

Zach, make it crystal clear in your advertisements that yhou are exclusively a top. Doing that will eliminate the confusion. You can not expect prospecive clients to be mind readers - clarity in communication is the name of the game

[Steven_Draker]

Also should a client not book an escort because he's either top or bottom?

 

If the client is looking solely for a dinner companion or someone to see a play with, it doesn't really matter ...

 

Definitely emphasize in your profile/ad that you're a strict top.

[uwsman2]

Zach, since you don't seem to be reviewed on this site, could you post a link to your ad? Some of us might be very interested in hiring a top who looks like a bottom!

[gcursor]

My take

 

Somebody said zach wasn't reviewed on this site but he is. Look for Zach Wilson in Raleigh.

 

There's no reason why people should treat you badly

Knowing that. I'd like to offer a thought and a possible solution:

 

one of your reviews said versatile for anal. i'm not sure what happened but if clients look through the reviews then that might plant the seed for them thinking you're a bottom. yes...you saying you're a top should suffice!! but people read the reviews and proceed based on what is said in the reviews. this again leads back to communication and if people don't communicate with you then they will just proceed on their own assumptions.

 

possible solution: i've often seen on certain reviews where daddy will post an information verification part. This might include phone number, hair, weight, etc. I don't know about the technical details of this but maybe you can talk to daddy and he can fill one of these out for you and include somewhere in there that you're exclusively a top.

 

Hope this helps,

Gcursor

 

Latley i have been finding that i am almost getting ridiculed because i look like a bottom, however am a top. Some potential clients say very sorry i was looking for a bottom(nice way), some say well there are always other things(true), and i have had some that are completely rude saying that i am false advertising and that i look like a bottom therefore i should be, its even gotten as bad as being hung up on when i asked there interest in the bedroom and indicated im a top. As an escort when someone says they're a top i simply say that i am as well, however there are other things that can be done. Also should a client not book an escort because he's either top or bottom? hopefully y'all can give me a heads up as to how to react when a situation where the client is rude about it , or pointers as to what to do to prevent the mixup of people thinking im a bottom from happening.

[BigK]

http://www.men4rentnow.com/ds/index.asp?cmd=view&id=224449&Login

[seeker630]

Latley i have been finding that i am almost getting ridiculed because i look like a bottom, however am a top. Some potential clients say very sorry i was looking for a bottom(nice way), some say well there are always other things(true), and i have had some that are completely rude saying that i am false advertising and that i look like a bottom therefore i should be, its even gotten as bad as being hung up on when i asked there interest in the bedroom and indicated im a top. As an escort when someone says they're a top i simply say that i am as well, however there are other things that can be done. Also should a client not book an escort because he's either top or bottom? hopefully y'all can give me a heads up as to how to react when a situation where the client is rude about it , or pointers as to what to do to prevent the mixup of people thinking im a bottom from happening.

 

One of my biggest complaints about M4RN is that there's no explicit information about role preference. And given how infrequently I see it, I wonder if they even allow it in the text portion. ( I do see a few guys who mention they are versatile, but looking at the Raleigh ads, I don't see any using 'top' or bottom.). I think you definitely need to work it into your ad somehow tho.

 

I think any client has the right NOT to hire you because you're a top if what they want is a bottom, but no client has the right to be rude about. I've emailed numerous guys and asked their role-preference, and if they're tops, I've just said, 'Thanks for the information. I'm really looking for a bottom. Best wishes.'

[zach_wilson]

Thanks so much guys for the information. Your very right it is near impossible to wiggle that into the ad without sounding like that's all your advertising. As that's not. I can say when I get an ad response notification I do send a little about me which states I am a top. Do you feel that Is a suffecent way to inform of preference. I hate being the "boyish looking" guy, I am partially boyish looking because I am only 19. But I always get told "you look like a bottom". I had no idea that there was a certain way bottoms look. When there are plenty of masculine guys who preference is to bottom. I appreciate all the help y'all.

[doitb4ugo]

Thanks so much guys for the information. Your very right it is near impossible to wiggle that into the ad without sounding like that's all your advertising. As that's not. I can say when I get an ad response notification I do send a little about me which states I am a top. Do you feel that Is a suffecent way to inform of preference. I hate being the "boyish looking" guy, I am partially boyish looking because I am only 19. But I always get told "you look like a bottom". I had no idea that there was a certain way bottoms look. When there are plenty of masculine guys who preference is to bottom. I appreciate all the help y'all.

 

sending the e-mail will do what you need. I would recommend some humor in the statement that may look to some as a hot bottom but a hot top is the service you provide, along with..............

[rvwnsd]

I do not think rudeness is ever warranted. It sounds like some prospective clients have been disappointed that their perceptions were wrong and are taking that disappointment out on you.

[Lohengrin1979]

I think you look fabulous, Zach, and the fact that you're a top makes it all the better. If you're ever in LA, let us know!

 

Lohengrin1979

[Guest Spanker01]

Hi Zach,

 

M4Mrent now is not my favorite site for the reason mentioned above. Look into Rentmen, and Rentboy, where you can express your preferences clearly, and consider posting an ad. I see no reason to change your appearence, i.e. haircut, clothes, but you might consider putting on some weight, along with the gym. Finally, remind a potential client that there are a lot of things two tops can do together. Overall, I think you are handling things well. Good luck and best wishes.

 

Spanker

[+ beethoven]

Guys, I know I'm very naive about this, but just because a guy is thin, young, and has a mop of hair (OK, like Justin Bieber!), does that make him look like a bottom? Please bear with me, but I really don't see how a person can LOOK like a top or bottom any more than he can look like a Democrat or Republican.

Also, if someone is an escort, oughtn't he to provide more than a narrow range of services? Sure, we all have individual preferences, but this sounds like a doctor who can set a broken arm -- only if it's the left arm.

And "whilst" is a word that indicates a bottom? Come on! It's probably a British usage. Like "oughtn't?"

Thanks for being patient with me.

[Guest Rich.]

Hey Zach,

 

I found your post and the subsequent comments challenging because my initial instinct was yes, you look like a bottom! But as Beethoven points out, what does a bottom look like? For me, in an ideal world, it would look something like this!

 

I wouldn't have automatically assumed you were a bottom if I'd met you when I was also 19, so maybe for me it's anyone that's markedly younger? It could also be stereotyping, ie. I'd probably do a double-take if I found a florist that looked like Arnold Schwartzenegger!

 

How about actually bottoming? Have you considered becoming versatile as a way of doubling your potential client base? I believe Maximum Escorts offers a course, they might even be willing to put you in touch with Oscar who I think is currently in training.

 

Oh, and please don't hate being the 'boyish looking one', it makes a hugely refreshing change and as for your advertisement, I think you can leave 'whilst' in, it shows you've profited from a decent education, important for those of us who love an escort who can do more than top or bottom.

 

Richard

[Michael Wayne]

Hey Zach, you are a cutie and, yes, when I first saw your ad I would guess bottom. If I saw you in a club I would say bottom. However, I have known alot of cute boys who are tops . Here is my suggestion: SHOW YOUR DICK in your ad. Almost all successful tops on rb, rm and m4rn show their dick either soft or hard. Some show it with the face and some just the dick for purposes of protection. showing your best asset let's potential clients decide if they want you as a top. By not showing your dick people may guess that it is small, thAT YOU have something to hide or that u r in fact a bottom. However, no one should ever be rude! Good luck to you. http://www.rentboy.com/mikey9nola1

[Decatur Guy]

Hey Zach, you are a cutie and, yes, when I first saw your ad I would guess bottom. If I saw you in a club I would say bottom. However, I have known alot of cute boys who are tops . Here is my suggestion: SHOW YOUR DICK in your ad. Almost all successful tops on rb, rm and m4rn show their dick either soft or hard. Some show it with the face and some just the dick for purposes of protection. showing your best asset let's potential clients decide if they want you as a top. By not showing your dick people may guess that it is small, thAT YOU have something to hide or that u r in fact a bottom. However, no one should ever be rude! Good luck to you. http://www.rentboy.com/mikey9nola1

 

Good advice.

[zach_wilson]

Lohengrin1979,I just got back from la Hun :/ if your ever in the north Carolina area or just wanna chat with me privately shoot me an email ext. I will respond in a timely manner.

[zach_wilson]

Richard, believe it or not I have tried bottoming for one client that I went to England with, and it hurt so bad that it wasn't really enjoyable for Ethier party. I believe in making the client happy, which I find hard when the client wants the escort happy as well. If I'm in pain or uncomfortable I feel the client can tell. Which could lead to an unfortunate appt. So I guess what I'm trying to say in response to your comment is whilst possible for some "training" to be a bottom isnt possible for others. I believe in sticking to what your good at. If your good at being a top, be a top, if your good at bottoming but not topping(I have some friends like this) then bottom, if your good at both well good for you haha, then you got it made in the shade.

[Guest Rich.]

Zach, I confess that my tongue was firmly between both cheeks when I posted. However, I have to admit that I'm truly surprised that a British client wasn't ecstatic about you yelping and squirming in agony, such things are definitely Le Vice Anglais.

 

I've bottomed for three guys in my entire life. It actually hurt only once and that was the second guy who I let in. I should mention, he was lousy at everything else, as well! I guess it probably helped that I was madly in lust with all three men and I lucked out that a couple of them knew what they were doing.

 

Richard

[nate_sf]

There is a stereotype that young guys/twinks are bottoms, and older guys are daddies and therefore tops. So some of this is just understanding this stereotype and assumption.

 

From your ad I would not be able to tell whether you are a top or a bottom. I know men4rentnow edits out things that are too explicit, but you could use some code language such as "assertive" or "dominant," or even acknowledge the potential misconception with something like "you might be surprised" or "don't let my looks fool you." And Mikey is right, showing a dick pic will help portray you as a top. Also the difference between an escorting ad and a dating ad is the escorting ad can be more direct... although you may go on some social outings you should give equal or greater emphasis to what you have to offer intimately.

 

As for if a client should not book an escort because he's either top or bottom, the answer is yes, if it's not a good match it should not be booked. If the client is looking for a bottom and that is the most important thing to him, even though there are other things you can do together it is not a good match if his heart is set on fucking. I've found it's always better to be upfront when it sounds like it is not a good match, be objective about it and not feel bad about it. When I've declined appointments because I was clearly not the right guy for what the client was looking for they were often appreciative that I was honest about it. Even better if you can offer a referral to another escort who is a better match for what they're looking for.

 

There's no reason for you to have to endure rudeness. If someone is rude to you, just tell them you don't think this is going to work out, or something along those lines, say nothing more and quickly end the call. You don't owe them anything. If you're accused of false advertising just say you are sorry they got that impression and it was not your intention. Possibly they are getting angry because they are embarrassed or feel foolish, but then again they might just be jerks! In either case, cut your losses and concentrate your energies on the clients who will be compatible.

 

Good luck!

[JoeyBryant]

Thanks so much guys for the information. Your very right it is near impossible to wiggle that into the ad without sounding like that's all your advertising. As that's not. I can say when I get an ad response notification I do send a little about me which states I am a top. Do you feel that Is a suffecent way to inform of preference. I hate being the "boyish looking" guy, I am partially boyish looking because I am only 19. But I always get told "you look like a bottom". I had no idea that there was a certain way bottoms look. When there are plenty of masculine guys who preference is to bottom. I appreciate all the help y'all.

 

Looking at your ad, you do not give off any indication of being a top. No cock pics??

 

I don't think it has to do with age. I mean, have you ever seen high school footballers? Those guys could have passed for being a top in the 6th grade! I think if you 'really' want to get serious about selling yourself as a top you may want to look into a gym membership/trainer and possibly a change in haircut (although we all know there are plenty of Fabio looking me

[leigh.bess.toad]

Mikey and Joey -- I do have to disagree about one thing. Having cock shots in your ad isn't necessary to say that you're a top. Do all tops have cock pics in their ads? Not at all. Do most, yes. But not all. As for me, if a guy says he is a top, I respect that

 

Of course Zach's question does lead to the stereotypes. I think the comments about hitting the gym, or adding muscle or things along those lines feed into the stereotype. We bottoms want our tops to be strong and powerful (how's that for a stereotype). We can't imagine a youngish twink-type appearing boy could do it. Of course that's utter nonsense. But remember one of the biggesst jobs of the escort is to sell the fantasy. And in many ways, that means sell the stereotype. I think most bottoms picture their top as strong and muscular and powerful. And many tops may picture the bottoms as young and lithe and twinky. It's utter crap of course, but there may well be majorities of both that fall into the category. As I say, "the race is not always to the swift, the battle to the strong, but that's the way to bet". Your appearance does feed into that stereotype. But it is up to you to set the limits of what you will and won't do. And it's my job as a client to respect those limits. Of course, you do run the risk of the client -- and I know they are out there -- who love to brag that they bagged a top.

 

Should you have to put up with anyone being rude -- hell no. Never.

 

But Zach you asked the question, and others have answered: should a client not book an escort because he's either top or bottom? Uh, yeah. If it's not going to be a match at all, why should I spend big bucks and hire someone knowing that my needs won't be met? I have every right to hire who I want and for whatever reason I want, using whatever criteria I so choose. I will tell you, that question was a bit of a turn off by suggesting that I don't have that right. Just MHO.

[Michael Wayne]

not having a dick pic in an ad as a top would be like if I was an 18 year old being scouted by the yankess to be drafted as a pitcher. When the scout comes to watch me and put my right arm on the radar gun I suddenly say I am not throwing today. That kid will end up playing in college or working construction instead of playing for the yankees. A big cock is not everything for a top but it does get you in the door. If you don't show it then 99% of clients will go to the guy who does. You aspire to play in the BIG LEAGUES (and as an escort this is the biggest league there is) then a 90 plus mile per hour fastball is the minimum these days.(HARD FASTBALL='S BIG DICK!) Greg Maddux, as great as he was, WOULD NOT EVEN GET DRAFTED TODAY. He could not even hit 90mph on the radar gun. One other thing: not all bottoms want a big dick. Some prefer 5, 6, or 7 but they all like CONFIDENCE and showwing it displayS you are confident and proud of your cock no matter the size. Maduxx went to the hall of fame with an 85 mph fastball but he was a god damed cocky, arrogant son of a bitch and mean. he was the best who ever lived and he used movement, location and changing speeds to baffle hitters for 20 years. As we say down here in New Orleans, :"SHOW YOUR DICK!"

[Scorpio]

not having a dick pic in an ad as a top would be like if I was an 18 year old being scouted by the yankess to be drafted as a pitcher. When the scout comes to watch me and put my right arm on the radar gun I suddenly say I am not throwing today. That kid will end up playing in college or working construction instead of playing for the yankees. A big cock is not everything for a top but it does get you in the door. If you don't show it then 99% of clients will go to the guy who does. You aspire to play in the BIG LEAGUES (and as an escort this is the biggest league there is) then a 90 plus mile per hour fastball is the minimum these days.(HARD FASTBALL='S BIG DICK!) Greg Maddux, as great as he was, WOULD NOT EVEN GET DRAFTED TODAY. He could not even hit 90mph on the radar gun. One other thing: not all bottoms want a big dick. Some prefer 5, 6, or 7 but they all like CONFIDENCE and showwing it displayS you are confident and proud of your cock no matter the size. Maduxx went to the hall of fame with an 85 mph fastball but he was a god damed cocky, arrogant son of a bitch and mean. he was the best who ever lived and he used movement, location and changing speeds to baffle hitters for 20 years. As we say down here in New Orleans, :"SHOW YOUR DICK!"

 

Sorry but there have been a number of "Big League" players pass through here over the years that have done quite well for themselves as Tops without showing their cocks in their ads. i know one that doesn't even show nudes in his ads...although he rarely runs ads anymore because he stays busy enough without doing so.

 

Zach, no one should be rude to you for not being able to provide a service that they are looking for.