Guest Posted September 22, 2020 Share Posted September 22, 2020 Little Jane was not the best student in Sunday school. Usually she slept through class. One day the teacher called on her while she was napping, "Tell me Jane, who created the universe?" When Jane didn't stir, little Johnny, a boy seated in the chair behind her, took a pencil and jabbed her in the rear. "God Almighty!" shouted Jane and the teacher said, "Very good" and Jane fell back asleep. A while later the teacher asked Jane, "Who is our Lord and Saviour." But, Jane didn't even stir from her slumber. Once again, Johnny came to the rescue and stuck her with the pencil. "Jesus Christ!" shouted Jane and the teacher said, "Very good," and Jane fell back asleep. Then the teacher asked Jane a third question. "What did Eve say to Adam after she had her twenty-third child?" and again, Johnny jabbed her with the pencil. This time Jane jumped up and shouted, "If you stick me with that thing one more time, I'll break it in half and shove it down your throat!!" ...and the teacher fainted! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rvwnsd Posted September 23, 2020 Share Posted September 23, 2020 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-g2wfiYmbgo:191 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
+ azdr0710 Posted September 25, 2020 Share Posted September 25, 2020 church billboards..... beachboy and + Oliver 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
+ azdr0710 Posted September 25, 2020 Share Posted September 25, 2020 rvwnsd, + Midwestern Guy, + Oliver and 1 other 4 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
+ azdr0710 Posted September 25, 2020 Share Posted September 25, 2020 other billboards and signs..... + Oliver, + Midwestern Guy and beachboy 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
+ azdr0710 Posted September 25, 2020 Share Posted September 25, 2020 more from the legendary Indian Hills Community Center........ beachboy and + Oliver 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
+ azdr0710 Posted September 25, 2020 Share Posted September 25, 2020 well, hell......just read them for yourselves.......hilarious!! https://www.google.com/search?q=indian+hills+community+center+signs&tbm=isch&ved=2ahUKEwiX_cOAvYPsAhUSo54KHeMXBk0Q2-cCegQIABAA&oq=indian+hills+community+center&gs_lcp=CgNpbWcQARgBMgIIADICCAAyAggAMgIIADICCAAyAggAMgIIADICCAAyBggAEAUQHjIGCAAQBRAeOgUIABCxAzoICAAQsQMQgwE6BAgAEEM6BwgAELEDEENQ9LMIWJDmCGD5-AhoAHAAeACAAZABiAGxFJIBBDI4LjGYAQCgAQGqAQtnd3Mtd2l6LWltZ7ABAMABAQ&sclient=img&ei=AHNtX5f9OJLG-gTjr5joBA&bih=880&biw=1680&hl=en + Autumnal, beachboy and + sam.fitzpatrick 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rvwnsd Posted September 25, 2020 Share Posted September 25, 2020 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
+ poolboy48220 Posted September 25, 2020 Share Posted September 25, 2020 There's a local car festival here, The Woodward Dream Cruise, people from all over the country come to cruise up & down Woodward Avenue in their classic (and some very-not-classic) cars. Locals hate it; it's turned into a full week of not being able to use that road for the traffic, and for people living just off Woodward, finding spectators parked on their lawn in some cases. Local businesses hate it too; a local indie theater had a history of putting snarky stuff up on their marquee that weekend. "Redneck Beauty Pageant, all day Saturday" was my favorite. + honcho and rvwnsd 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted September 25, 2020 Share Posted September 25, 2020 Classic Hollywood Squares: Q . Paul, what is a good reason for pounding meat? A. Paul Lynde: Loneliness! (The audience laughed so long and so hard it took up almost 15 minutes of the show!) Q. It is the most abused and neglected part of your body, what is it? A. Paul Lynde: Mine may be abused, but it certainly isn’t neglected. Q. Do female frogs croak? A. Paul Lynde: If you hold their little heads under water long enough. Q. If you're going to make a parachute jump, at least how high should you be? A. Charley Weaver: Three days of steady drinking should do it. Q. True or False, a pea can last as long as 5,000 years? A. George Gobel: Boy, it sure seems that way sometimes. Q. You've been having trouble going to sleep. Are you probably a man or a woman? A. Don Knotts: That's what's been keeping me awake. Q. According to Cosmopolitan, if you meet a stranger at a party and you think that he is attractive, is it okay to come out and ask him if he's married? A.. Rose Marie: No, wait until morning. Q. Which of your five senses tends to diminish as you get older? A. Charley Weaver: My sense of decency. Q. What are 'Do It,' 'I Can Help,' and 'I Can't Get Enough'? George Gobel: I don't know, but it's coming from the next apartment. Q. As you grow older, do you tend to gesture more or less with your hands while talking? A. Rose Marie: You ask me one more growing old question Peter, and I'll give you a gesture you'll never forget. Q. Paul, why do Hell's Angels wear leather? A. Paul Lynde: Because chiffon wrinkles too easily. Q. Charley, you've just decided to grow strawberries. Are you going to get any during the first year? A. Charley Weaver: Of course not, I'm too busy growing strawberries. Q. In bowling, what's a perfect score? A. Rose Marie: Ralph, the pin boy. Q. During a tornado, are you safer in the bedroom or in the closet? A. Rose Marie: Unfortunately Peter, I'm always safe in the bedroom. Q. Can boys join the Camp Fire Girls? A. Marty Allen: Only after lights out. Q. When you pat a dog on its head he will wag his tail. What will a goose do? A. Paul Lynde: Make him bark? Q. If you were pregnant for two years, what would you give birth to? A. Paul Lynde: Whatever it is, it would never be afraid of the dark.. Q. According to Ann Landers, is there anything wrong with getting into the habit of kissing a lot of people? A. Charley Weaver: It got me out of the army. Q. Back in the old days, when Great Grandpa put horseradish on his head, what was he trying to do? A. George Gobel: Get it in his mouth. Q. Jackie Gleason recently revealed that he firmly believes in them and has actually seen them on at least two occasions. What are they? A. Charley Weaver: His feet. Q. According to Ann Landers, what are two things you should never do in bed? A. Paul Lynde: Point and laugh. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Daverwr Posted September 25, 2020 Share Posted September 25, 2020 beachboy and rvwnsd 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BSR Posted October 1, 2020 Share Posted October 1, 2020 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Whitman Posted October 3, 2020 Share Posted October 3, 2020 Kevin Slater, Rod Hagen, rvwnsd and 1 other 4 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mike carey Posted October 4, 2020 Share Posted October 4, 2020 I can relate to this. It's been around for a while, but I decided it needed posting here, even if that's again. + bigjoey, + Autumnal, rvwnsd and 4 others 7 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rvwnsd Posted October 5, 2020 Share Posted October 5, 2020 KrisParr 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mike carey Posted October 5, 2020 Share Posted October 5, 2020 I can relate to this. It's been around for a while, but I decided it needed posting here, even if that's again. In related news: + bigjoey 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Whitman Posted October 5, 2020 Share Posted October 5, 2020 rvwnsd and Rod Hagen 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
orville Posted October 6, 2020 Share Posted October 6, 2020 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
loremipsum Posted October 10, 2020 Share Posted October 10, 2020 I can relate to this. It's been around for a while, but I decided it needed posting here, even if that's again. Ugh... “could of” is the worst mike carey 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
orville Posted October 11, 2020 Share Posted October 11, 2020 (edited) I'm having so very bad luck trying to get laid lately that I might just go bird watching to the Amazon for some real action: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9T1vfsHYiKY:33 Edited October 12, 2020 by orville Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted October 15, 2020 Share Posted October 15, 2020 Wear your masks! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted October 15, 2020 Share Posted October 15, 2020 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Daverwr Posted October 16, 2020 Share Posted October 16, 2020 If bedbugs are found on beds, who ever came up with the name cockroach? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted October 16, 2020 Share Posted October 16, 2020 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted October 16, 2020 Share Posted October 16, 2020 Or you could use this to hold your roach... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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