Dilemma

[Godiva]

Need your input..

 

I had an awesome time with an escort a few weeks ago. Everything was perrfect. He noticed that I had a hat on and told me that the same had was given to him by a former client. He asked me if I had heard of the client and I said of course..This client happens to be a very well known personality in NYC and his profession would be a dead give away. This client also happens to be a customer in my store so I see him often.

 

He proceeded to tell me about another one of his clients and I asked him to stop....that I hoped he wasn't sharing our info with other clients. Thank god this happened at the end of the session because it put a damper on what was otherwise a great time. I guess my question is... Do escorts have some sort of universal code of ethics? Do you regulary discuss clients whether they be famous or not? In my mind I am thinking blackmail, extortion etc..

 

I find myself in dilemma because my job in a few years could give me a little more unwanted exposure. I don't want to worry that I am being discussed with other clients. Is this just another risk? I know if I was "out" I wouldn't have that problem but frankly that is not an option. I respect this site for that reason when someone gets a little overzealous and mentions someones real name it is promptly deleted but not all sites are as efficient.

[Rick Munroe]

>He proceeded to tell me about another one of his clients and

>I asked him to stop....that I hoped he wasn't sharing our

>info with other clients.

 

I've had similar situations, in reverse. I've had clients (not many, thankfully) who like to gossip about escorts they know, telling me their real names, etc., and I too have asked them to stop. These were also the same clients who'd learned my real name (either from me or from my mailbox or caller-ID) and knew other information about me, and I too said that I hoped they weren't sharing this info with other escorts. I've always thought discretion is one of the most important qualities in an escort and a client.

[Guest jeffOH]

I've had clients who liked to share info. about other escorts they had seen. Perhaps it's too much pot, but I forget most of what they tell me(unless it's really juicy).

 

If you're concerned about this escort discussing your time together with other clients, I'd suggest that you give someone else a call who is hopefully more discreet.

 

My best friend is also an escort and we discuss everything about our business. Of course, when he sees someone famous, he tells me. Their names didn't surprise me, nor would they the rest of this board.

 

JEFF

jeff4men@hotmail.com

[Guest jwraustin]

The escort that gave away the name of one of his clients to you was totally unprofessional, and unethical. One of the greatest assets an escort has is his ability to keep his mouth shut about his clients. To me the number one rule is that YOU NEVER DISCUSS YOUR CLIENTS WITH ANYONE, AT ANY TIME - EVER!

 

If an escort decides to talk about one of his clients to you, you can bet he is going to talk about you to someone else. It's just something that an reputable escort does not do. Period.

 

Jon Dean

http://www.manfuck.net

[+ BenjaminNicholas]

Well,

 

 

An escort/client relationship could be compared to doctor/patient confidentiality... Never, under any circumstance discuss specifics or names of past or current clients. This goes for escorts discussing fellow escorts as well. There's enough backstabbing going on in this niche without having to add fuel to the fire, plus it just looks highly unprofessional.

 

In return, however, the same should be expected of clientel: The last thing i want to hear about is another escort's escapades, good or bad. The worst situation though is when a client sits there and pumps you for information on 'who you know.'

 

 

 

 

 

I prefer finding a more creative use of manditory pumping

 

 

 

 

 

Warmest Regards,

 

 

 

Benjamin Nicholas

Escort@ChiKindaKid.com

http://www.ChiKindaKid.com

[Godiva]

The worse part is that there are so few great escorts. I feel like I have to avoid going back to certain escorts for a while so they won't remember me. I am planning to see this escort again...this time if he starts again I will stop him sooner.

[Chuck50]

Godiva just take off the hat and maybe he won't notice HUGS Chuck

[+ Charlie]

Although I don't remember ever discussing other clients with an escort, I have had plenty of chatty postcoital conversations with escorts about other escorts. I think it is pretty natural in that situation, since it is a subject we are both interested in, and it is a natural segue from the business at hand. I would never reveal anything to one escort that another one told me in confidence, nor would I reveal personal information such as real names, addressses, etc., but I'm not above discussing real cock sizes.

[guyinsf]

I, too, have discussed escorts with other escorts after the big O. None of these discussions has been about their real names or anything like that. It's always been more along the lines of the escort telling me about some escorts whom he has met who have become friends of his or me telling the escort about someone else I hired and why I did or didn't enjoy my experience with him, with no details beyond what would be permissable in a review here.

[Guest SladeinDallas]

I will stay away from the word "should", rather, I would hope that escorts AND clients would "elect" not to discuss these types of issues amongst themselves. There is a lot at stake, both for the client and the escort.

 

If an escort, or a client, is guilty of talking out of school, it's usually a repeated behavior pattern, and they will be easily found out. I just hope that your situation is not viewed as typical among all escorts. I feel certain there is a majority of us that still know how to remain professional...both on and off court.

 

 

Slade

[FrancoDiSantisxxx]

"talking out of school"

 

I, as well as other on this site, have used examples, without naming names or providing identifying information or factual details, etc., about clients or other escorts, very indirectly and discretely. I have used such examples to respond to questions such as in this conference or to make other points, as have other clients and escorts.

 

To believe that such discussions would not happen at all is possibly to expect the impossible.

 

I would prefer that the ethical rule be practical; to limit discussions as follows: "a client canceled our appointment on short notice," "another escort was willing to and the client approved of the substitution as I was unavoidably delayed due to car trouble."

 

Even with other escorts, I am uncomfortable discussing specifics except where the same client is hiring two of us or we both know the same client as a mutual client. With my group of escort friends, we limit such discussions to the issue, not the personality: the client wrote a nice thank you note, I was tipped, the client took me to a nice meal at XYZ restaurant, I finally saw a client at the Chateau Marmont, etc.

 

I believe clients have the right to expect as well as to provide confidentiality and discrete handling of personal information.

[MiamiLooker]

>Is this just another risk?

 

YES

[Godiva]

I suspect you guys have to be very careful too with your identities. I have been to a few escorts places and when buzzed up and given the room # there is always a mailbox around with the correct name displayed. I don't know if they are fake names but you should be careful..I have also seen mail on the table with real names. Some idiot may get this info and use it to his advantage.

 

When I have an escort come to my place I remove all photos, take the name off my mail box and put away anything that could reveal my identity..I know it sounds like a lot but who can you trust these days.

 

When you guys do incalls.. what do you do to prep your place to avoid these kinds of situations?

[+ Charlie]

I recently was sent to an escort's home by an agency. Lying on the coffee table in front of me was mail with the escort's real name, open bank statements, etc. Although I was somewhat flattered that he apparently thought I was trustworthy enough that he didn't need to clean up any of this stuff, I really thought it was foolishly indiscreet.

I don't do in-calls at my home because I was once harassed by an unbalanced escort after he knew where I lived. When I go to see someone for the first time, I try not to take any ID that includes my address.

[Godiva]

Charlie..I thought I was the only one..

 

I usually remove my cc cards and all.

[Guest fukamarine]

>I recently was sent to an escort's home by an agency. Lying

>on the coffee table in front of me was mail with the

>escort's real name, open bank statements, etc

 

Hmmmmm Now tell us, was the balance astronomical as it is rumored to be when escorts are successful, or was it plain Jane ordinary. Or are you moral standards so high that you never peeked :-)

 

fukamarine

[guyinsf]

My assumption is that most people who work on a cash basis don't put a lot of their money into the bank, so his bank statement might not have revealed much.

 

I actually used to be more concerned about hiring escorts. I guess I've become jaded. I do insist on speaking with someone on the phone before meeting, but I usually don't have long conversations with anyone. I do weed out a lot of guys before ever getting to that point, though. If someone is unable to communicate decently via email or IM, I figure that he probably won't be able to communicate well in person either. After I feel comfortable, I give out my address. I almost always have escorts come to me. I've never had a problem with anyone being truly unstable or menacing. The worst I've encountered is guys who are basically hustlers -- misrepresenting themselves either physically or in terms of what they are willing to do with clients. Perhaps I've just gotten lucky. I don't leave my wallet and credit cards next to the bed, but I don't go to great lengths to hide anything and it is certainly easy for anyone to know my real name since it's on the entry system to my building.

[Guest Mikki]

Sexual alchemist.........

 

Where do you live that prostitution is legal. It should be legal everywhere. I also agree with you about no subterfuge. I thought the whole point of "gay liberation" was that everyone could be open about their lifestyles. My straight friends brag about the hookers they hire behind their wives backs. I know some working girls who tell great tales of rich and famous men they have been with. I could not perform sexually if I had to do it undercover. It would be better to score in a public place and save the money.

[SexualAlchemist]

Where I live, prostitution is legal (no need for euphisms), solicitation is not.

 

What would happen if anyone found out?

 

My hubby would find it tacky if he found out, but he has his own wacky vices that I tolerate (with the occasional ironic comment!).

 

People at work might be shocked, but I've reached exactly the position I've always wanted, enjoy it immensely, am known to be frighteningly competant at it, and work in a unionized environment in a wonderfully liberal and open-minded profession.

 

My friends would laugh. Some maybe in disgust, "EEEEW!" but then we'd roll another one and laugh about something else.

 

I'd give my family a severe talking to if they got on my case, and they'd hear and obey.

 

Without social or economic repercussions, the need for privacy has evaporated. I hire using my real name, from my real telephone number, from my real email account. No subterfuge, no problem.

 

All I fear is spam and cyberviruses, but I always make my computer wear a cybercondom and have not had any trouble yet.

 

Fear comes from oppression. Work ceaselessly to liberate yourselves.

 

But, not everyone is as fortunate as I am. Maybe one day...

[+ Charlie]

I did NOT peek at the bank statement, just noticed what it was (we use the same bank). Judging from his domestic surroundings, I doubt that the balance was terribly high.

[nate_sf]

RE: "talking out of school"

 

Yes, talking specifics about other clients or escorts is both tacky and unethical. The only twist in that is that sometimes I will allude to other experiences in a generic sense to validate a client's interest or kink -- like if he says something like, "this is really embarrassing and weird, but I'm really into feet...," I might say something like, "it's not as unusual as you might think." Then he won't feel weird about what he's into. But other than that, no specific details about anyone, ever.

 

Nate

[SexualAlchemist]

>Sexual alchemist.........

>

>Where do you live that prostitution is legal. It should be

>legal everywhere. I also agree with you about no

>subterfuge. I thought the whole point of "gay liberation"

>was that everyone could be open about their lifestyles. My

>straight friends brag about the hookers they hire behind

>their wives backs. I know some working girls who tell great

>tales of rich and famous men they have been with. I could

>not perform sexually if I had to do it undercover. It would

>be better to score in a public place and save the money.

 

I'm in Canada.

 

Scoring in a public place is probably illegal (it's probably solicitation). Newspapers, usually the gay ones or entertainment weeklies, or review sites avoid this. There are lots of other constraints, but it seems that the simple exchange of money for sexual acts between adults in private is no problem. Canajuns don't like disorder, so it's also hedged about by "nuisance" laws. We also don't like minors getting involved.

 

Have a look at http://www.allproescorts.com/law.htm and http://www.worldsexguide.org/canada.html.

[Godiva]

It makes you wonder that if the day comes when our lifestyles are openly accepted as the heteros are ... will the intensity of getting together vanish..The naughtyness of thinking "you may get caught" or "you shouldn't be doing this" adds a little excitement to the hour..