Article on older men

[+ SirBillybob]

Interesting read on overlooked single senior male social isolation. I hope I circumvented the paywall for readers here; apparently I can share a few articles based on my subscription.

https://www.theglobeandmail.com/gift/d24329df22effd948451188cd4a53720da09a01320d2d0c6ab7108defc139af0/7CQMOFQXKVHQ3H57LDSUOPHHF4

Edited Friday at 01:31 PM by SirBillybob

[+ Charlie]

3 hours ago, SirBillybob said:

Interesting read on overlooked single senior male social isolation. I hope I circumvented the paywall for readers here; apparently I can share a few articles based on my subscription.

https://www.theglobeandmail.com/gift/d24329df22effd948451188cd4a53720da09a01320d2d0c6ab7108defc139af0/7CQMOFQXKVHQ3H57LDSUOPHHF4

I can identify with some of the people who are discussed in this article. Although I was an only child, I never felt lonely when I was young, although I was rather shy. However, from the time I entered college, I always lived with someone--a friend or a partner--for all but six months from my late teens until my early 80s. Since my spouse's death a year ago, I have had a very hard time adjusting to the reality that there is no one else in the house except my dog. Whenever I hear a sound somewhere around the house, I have to remind myself that there is no one else here. If I buy a piece of furniture or break something or change where I hang a picture, I have to remind myself that I don't have to explain or justify it to anyone. And, yes, I spend a lot of time talking to myself or to my dog.

I do have a social life of the kinds that are recommended in the article. I play tennis a couple of days per week, play Bridge with a group once per week, etc., but that doesn't really make up for the casual, unstructured interactions of everyday life with someone. I have been much more upset by good friends among my neighbors selling their homes and moving away than I ever used to be. The article does mention that a demographic that is more likely to experience loneliness is older gay men; I suspect that is because younger gay men are much more likely to react to loneliness by having sex with other men, including providers, while old gay men have difficulty attracting sex partners who really make them feel good about themselves. Older gay men are also less likely to have younger generations of family members to interact with regularly.

Thanks for going to the trouble of reprinting the article here.

[BeamerBikes]

During Covid, I started a coffee habit because it did feel nice to be recognized by name as a regular.  As Covid lessened, I voluntarily started to go back to the office. Mainly for social interaction because otherwise it’s just me and the dog. 
As I approach the retirement years, I don’t know how best to approach social interactions.  However, I plan to start volunteering more of my time just so I’m out in the world with folks. 
 

[+ Vegas_Millennial]

7 hours ago, Charlie said:

Whenever I hear a sound somewhere around the house, I have to remind myself that there is no one else here.

I went through this when I first lived alone at the age of 20.

Although still single at middle-age, I find it a comfort that I rent 2 of the bedrooms in my house to single straight men.  Just hearing the movement of someone else in the house is comforting.

[+ Pensant]

I love my alone time and living alone, something that’s never bothered me. I have a growing circle of friends and close family, so I interact with others frequently and enjoy two sets of great neighbors at my two houses. I’m even applying to grad school. It’s important that we make new friends in different generations as we age. My best friend could be my son.