Providers asking for a client's professional services

[Tom C. Sinclair]

14 hours ago, SirBillybob said:

FYI you can edit original post for an extended period of time following submission, even if an emoticon reaction had been submitted. 

I think you might have to reach a certain level of forum membership for that. Editing is not an option for me even right after submission. 

[NYXboy]

On 8/10/2025 at 3:07 PM, Ali Gator said:

 

I told him my rate again, so how does he want to proceed if he's serious about this - with payment or trade of services tonight? He then said he'd do the massage at $25 off - so he'd charge me $175. 

 

 

people are charging $200 to help write a resumes! I'm Jesus I am in the wrong profession. 

[Rudynate]

Blurred boundaries like that can end up biting you in the ass.

[+ ApexNomad]

18 minutes ago, NYXboy said:

people are charging $200 to help write a resumes! I'm Jesus I am in the wrong profession. 

My retainer’s looking like a steal right now.

[Tom C. Sinclair]

I need a lucrative hobby 😂 

[+ ApexNomad]

7 minutes ago, Tom C. Sinclair said:

I need a lucrative hobby 😂 

Cover letters.

[+ KensingtonHomo]

The nature of my work doesn’t lend itself to providing assistance to providers. Still, we have one long time provider who I’ve offered General life advice and free back on his projects (he does film). We even saw a movie with him at one point. 

This has muddied the relationship. Now he’ll message us to “hang out”, which means hire him. The first time I thought he genuinely meant it and I suggested he join us for something. He then awkwardly made it clear that he was looking to be hired. 
 

To be clear, if we had hire him for his services, we’re happy to pay. I socialize with my hair stylist and some other people who also have some work for me. But those lines are pretty clear.

He recently reached out to “get together.” I was direct and said money was tight following our anniversary trip. He didn’t respond after that. So now it just feels icky to me. 🤷🏻

[Boaxxx]

On 8/10/2025 at 12:07 PM, Ali Gator said:

I don't think this has ever come up before, and this happened to me again this morning, so I'm going to share this here as I'm sure others have had experiences similar to this. I'm curious how it was handled (to give me better insight going forward.)

In the past, when I have had repeated appointments with masseurs, we get to know each other better through conversation. Many times the question of my profession comes up, and I share what I do (but not where I work / the company I work for). Just usually a generalization of what my job entails (when asked). Because of my job skills, I have had a side business on weekends since the pandemic,  which includes 'resume writing' for people who need help writing their resumes or 'updating', etc. I've mentioned this to providers from time to time, so that if they ever need this - they can consider hiring me. I don't go into detail on pricing, because we're never that far into the conversation. They just answer "ok - good to know". 

Early this morning, one of these masseurs (whom I do like, and we get along fine) who I haven't seen in months (he's been mostly traveling since the new year), called me and asked if I was free this afternoon. He's in his mid-30s, and now  interested in applying for an entry-level job at the company where his brother-in-law works (a very good company) .  He needs help writing a resume, as he never wrote one before. He has a Zoom interview tomorrow afternoon, and he needs to have the resume sent in by noon tomorrow. 

I gave him a time I'd be available for him to stop by my house today, so I can write a resume for him. I then told him it would take an hour at least, gave him my rate for the service (which is the going rate in my area these days), and if we need more than an hour to finish, what the rate would be (for 90 minutes and two hours; all in line with my competitors). It just so happens the rates equal what he charges for massage, so I told him he could either pay up front, or we can work it out in 'trade' - he can give me a massage of equal value when we're done with the resume. 

His response was: "Can't you do it for free for me ? We're friends."  That really threw me. I ignored his request. 

I told him my rate again, so how does he want to proceed if he's serious about this - with payment or trade of services tonight? He then said he'd do the massage at $25 off - so he'd charge me $175. He thought that was fair. I asked, "So you think my service to help you is worth only $25 ?" He apparently thought so.  I suggested he find someone else today who will make time to write a resume for him at $25 for the hour. (That would be no one, as we all know our worth in this industry). That was the end of our phone conversation.

A few hours later he calls back and I let it go to VM. He raises his offer to $150  for the massage  if I will write the resume for him. He tells me it's a real good deal. I don't bother answering him. Since then, he's texted / left VM every half hour or so, wanting me to take the deal. Even if he agrees to a 'trade' at the $200 (my original offer), at this point I'm just no longer interested in doing any business with him. Keep in mind, in all the years I've hired him I have never asked him for any type of discount (and he has raised his price over the past five years).

Has this ever happened to anyone else where a provider wants to hire the client for their professional services ?  How did you handle it ? How did it turn out ? 

I don't have services to offer so the simple answer to your question is, No, it has never happened to me. Reading this I became so annoyed. I know if this happened to me I would not hire him again. His lack of consideration towards you and your professional services just ruined the "friendship". And the fact that he continued to call/text you multiple times in an attempt to negotiate is even more annoying. Fortunately for you there's other candy in the candy dish. 

[+ SirBillybob]

Resuméing the thread here🙋🏼‍♂️

To whom do I submit my paycheque deposit deets.

Edited 20 hours ago by SirBillybob

[Ali Gator]

Luckily for me, before I started the profession I have now, I owned my own small retail business for 25 years (right out of college). I've mentioned it here from time to time. I was / am very proud of it, as it was a success, I enjoyed every day, and met some of the nicest people (including providers). I also gained some 'notoriety' in the local media and national media for being 'unique' in the retail world. 

Because of that, I attracted dozens of people over the year who thought it was A-OK to come to my store (often at the busiest times) , search me out, and then tell me they wanted to 'pick my brain' on how to open a store like the one I had. Seriously.

I guess they thought I would be honored when they would come in - often for the very first time- with a notebook in their hands, and say "I want to open a store just like this ! Can you give me some pointers on how to get started and how to do this ?" with a big smile on their face. Men, women, young couples, retirees - everyone you can imagine. "Where do you find all these great products ? How do you do it ?" And they would get mad when I would refuse them - very mad. They thought I 'owed it to them' to teach them how to open a business.

Finally, I got smart one day and said to this young couple (the guy was awfully sexy) with their pens and notebooks, "I'll be happy to. Let's set an appointment up for an hour consultation, which will cost you $1,000. If you wish to go further after the initial consultation, I charge $500 an hour for business consulting. What day is good for you ?" 

At that point, the gave me the gut-crunching hearty laugh, and reminded me they didn't want to pay for this, they wanted me to teach them for free. I told them I don't offer my services for free. They said I should, as part of 'giving back to the community'.  I asked them, 'Nordstrom has a store in our community. Do you think you two can walk in and ask the manager for his / her time to teach you all about running a department store and getting started with your own ?"  They left.

This was my answer to all after that, and that's how I was able to handle others (including this provider the other day) going forward. 

[Tom C. Sinclair]

@Ali Gator, I enjoyed reading that story. Thank you.

[+ poolboy48220]

I wouldn't really call this 'professional services', but I helped an escort I'd seen a few times create a brochure using Word Perfect. Took us about an hour, and towards the end he started feeling me up, and I got a very nice freebie session.

[+ SirBillybob]

35 minutes ago, poolboy48220 said:

I wouldn't really call this 'professional services', but I helped an escort I'd seen a few times create a brochure using Word Perfect. Took us about an hour, and towards the end he started feeling me up, and I got a very nice freebie session.

A brochure indicating freebies for sweet helpful guys assisting with brochures? What about this suggests you’re not a pro? 

Edited 15 hours ago by SirBillybob

[+ poolboy48220]

2 minutes ago, SirBillybob said:

A brochure indicating freebies for sweet helpful guys assisting with brochures? What about this suggests you’re not a pro? 

Hahaha.  No, this was a brochure for the house inspections side gig he was starting. 

[+ SirBillybob]

2 minutes ago, poolboy48220 said:

Hahaha.  No, this was a brochure for the house inspections side gig he was starting. 

Inspections … side gig … we’ve all been there.

[+ KensingtonHomo]

8 hours ago, Ali Gator said:

At that point, the gave me the gut-crunching hearty laugh, and reminded me they didn't want to pay for this, they wanted me to teach them for free. I told them I don't offer my services for free. They said I should, as part of 'giving back to the community'.

I run a nonprofit and before that I was a fundraiser for many years. I have certainly offered advice to people looking to do the same. Usually, they’re really looking to create a service or solve a problem in their community. Within reason, I’m happy to provide some pointers because I had a lot of help when I was launching mine. To me, it’s very different than someone who’s looking to create a profit-based business. Because of the particular sector I work in, like @Ali Gator I’m a minor celebrity which also brings larger, for-profit entities knocking- wanting advice, me to speak to their staff, etc. I used to do it for cost, but then I realized I was selling myself short. So now I’ll still give advice to peers or those needing some mentorship but I charge all those who can really afford it. And I also serve on a couple of Boards for which I’m not paid. 

[DMonDude]

18 hours ago, KensingtonHomo said:

He recently reached out to “get together.” I was direct and said money was tight following our anniversary trip. He didn’t respond after that. So now it just feels icky to me. 🤷🏻

Not directly tied to providing assistance to providers, but i also just experienced this myself. For a while i was used to providers who do not ever message me to initiate them being hired.  I assume they're too busy for that and even if they weren't, why would they? I thought. I always reach out to them first when i want to hire. So recently when i started working with two providers who always reach out to me first to "hang out" or "meet up" (always for hiring though) it really threw me for a loop cause i just assumed why would they ever reach out to me first? So for like a good couple weeks i thought they were low key kinda into me or at the very least they "liked working with me" more than they were letting on but that seems like a silly porn premise. So now i just go, "hey everybody does business differently i guess" lol.

[DMonDude]

I actually wouldn't mind providing professional services to a provider. I do video editing on the side. And i know a lot of providers also maintain an OnlyFans page which can sometimes require them to edit video. But the level of editing OF videos require is literally just cutting back and forth between like 2 or 3 angles, you could do it on your phone in like 5 minutes (and most OF creators do). So i've never been asked for that. But it would be my most applicable skill to what they might need haha.