seeking arrangements website?

[kaboom35]

I was curious to look at the seeking arrangements website but now it's just called seeking.com.   Is it the same concept?  Any other websites good for finding a cute young guy to spoil ?    

[pubic_assistance]

2 hours ago, kaboom35 said:

Any other websites good for finding a cute young guy to spoil ?    

I would imagine that ANY contact with a 20-something would eventually lead to you paying for their spoiled lifestyle.

😆

[56harrisond]

 

[+ WstVlgChris]

I have just had a really bad experience with Seeking and wish to warn you all.

Seeking steers the "daddies" into very expensive premium memberships. I signed up for a year's premium in March for $290. It gave me unlimited messages (both to contact younger guys, and to answer the select few of the many who reached out to me [see below on that]).  But early this month, I started getting renewal notices, as if I had only paid for 3 months. I wrote to the help line about this, and although a ticket was created, and an answer promised "usually within 24 hours," no answer has been forthcoming; it's now been about 10 days. In the meantime, it seems my premium membership has ended, and with that I have absolutely no ability to message anyone on the site.  

So they have charged me a  year for what turned out to be 3 months of premium membership, and they're not responding to my complaint about it. 

As for the interactions between the younger ones, at least 1/3 appear to be bots or scammers. Another 1/3 or more are highly transactional: they want you to fly them in from another continent to visit, or they want you to send them money before they'll meet you in person, or if they're local, and there seems to be an inkling of possibility of chemistry, they won't meet you in person until you agree to a preset financial contribution.  

There are some nice guys, but you have to spend a lot of time to find them (most of that time is spent weeding out other less obvious transactional ones). I did match up, during my 3 months of membership, with 3 very nice guys, who didn't want anything up front. I met each for a date and no one asked for anything during the date (I picked up the check). And I went on a second date with each of them (again, I paid, but they didn't ask for anything extra). One of these guys said he joined because he wanted to meet quality older men and wasn't expecting any kind of ongoing support.  Unfortunately, 2 of the 3 appear to have lost interest or ghosted me; I'm less interested in the 3rd, so don't know whether there'll be a 3rd date. 

In the meantime, I'm certainly not re-upping my membership. 

[MikeBiDude]

1 hour ago, WstVlgChris said:

I have just had a really bad experience with Seeking and wish to warn you all.

Seeking steers the "daddies" into very expensive premium memberships. I signed up for a year's premium in March for $290. It gave me unlimited messages (both to contact younger guys, and to answer the select few of the many who reached out to me [see below on that]).  But early this month, I started getting renewal notices, as if I had only paid for 3 months. I wrote to the help line about this, and although a ticket was created, and an answer promised "usually within 24 hours," no answer has been forthcoming; it's now been about 10 days. In the meantime, it seems my premium membership has ended, and with that I have absolutely no ability to message anyone on the site.  

So they have charged me a  year for what turned out to be 3 months of premium membership, and they're not responding to my complaint about it. 

As for the interactions between the younger ones, at least 1/3 appear to be bots or scammers. Another 1/3 or more are highly transactional: they want you to fly them in from another continent to visit, or they want you to send them money before they'll meet you in person, or if they're local, and there seems to be an inkling of possibility of chemistry, they won't meet you in person until you agree to a preset financial contribution.  

There are some nice guys, but you have to spend a lot of time to find them (most of that time is spent weeding out other less obvious transactional ones). I did match up, during my 3 months of membership, with 3 very nice guys, who didn't want anything up front. I met each for a date and no one asked for anything during the date (I picked up the check). And I went on a second date with each of them (again, I paid, but they didn't ask for anything extra). One of these guys said he joined because he wanted to meet quality older men and wasn't expecting any kind of ongoing support.  Unfortunately, 2 of the 3 appear to have lost interest or ghosted me; I'm less interested in the 3rd, so don't know whether there'll be a 3rd date. 

In the meantime, I'm certainly not re-upping my membership. 

Well, that’s unfortunate. While I’m not currently a paid subscriber, I was for over 8 years, month-by-month, and never had any trouble with their billing or support.

If you look a few posts up @56harrisond has posted several topics above that relate to seeking arrangements and their latest name seeking.com. It’s a valid point that it takes more time. I had very good luck on there, at least I did after my first year or two when I started to realize how to better filter through the profiles and messages. I’m still in a relationship right now from someone I met there almost 5 years ago, we see each other and travel 4-6 times a year…it’s not a monthly allowance type arrangement.

Many will be quick to say seeking.com leads to expensive monthly arrangements, I’ve found that’s not necessarily true, and have met many quality guys there. 

[+ Lucky]

Maybe the site is just seeking your money.

[pubic_assistance]

On 6/16/2025 at 6:17 PM, WstVlgChris said:

Seeking steers the "daddies" into very expensive premium memberships. I signed up for a year's premium in March for $290. I

I just looked at their site.

Its $109 per month or $290 for three months. You most likely misunderstood the offer. I seriously doubt that ANY membership that's normally $109 per month is going to offer 75% off unless they're going out of business. 

[MikeBiDude]

49 minutes ago, pubic_assistance said:

I just looked at their site.

Its $109 per month or $290 for three months. You most likely misunderstood the offer. I seriously doubt that ANY membership that's normally $109 per month is going to offer 75% off unless they're going out of business. 

Good catch, the $290 premium is for 90 days, too bad the OP never saw that. I was always month-to-month, zero billing issues.

[+ PhileasFogg]

On 6/9/2025 at 3:20 PM, pubic_assistance said:

I would imagine that ANY contact with a 20-something would eventually lead to you paying for their spoiled lifestyle.

😆

I met my last girlfriend through SA - but no money exchanged hands-ever.  We genuinely connected and fell in love.  She was a student in her 30’s when we met (20yrs younger), we fell in love, lived together for half of our four years together, and were on a track to marriage.  Upon graduation, she got a six figure job and started a successful career.   (A couple of years later, The breakup was dramatic prompting me to conclude young men were less dramatic and choose to pursue this side of my sexuality 😉)

But the key is - no cash changed hands.   All I offered were simple things - a fine home in the “right” zip code  - with her making a small contribution to common expenses.   But more importantly, I offered seasoned business advice, social and professional connections, a sense of adventure, and a propensity to travel.  We had a good time together.  

Strange things happen in the online world and I never would have expected this outcome from that platform.   But everything isn’t always about money. 

[pubic_assistance]

4 hours ago, PhileasFogg said:

A couple of years later, The breakup was dramatic prompting me to conclude young men were less dramatic and choose to pursue this side of my sexuality 😉

That was my initial thought when I tried dating men. Eventually I learned that it's merely the frequency of dramatic communication that I avoided, not the drama itself. 

Interesting to note you found a relationship that wasnt merely transactional, on that site. Its been mentioned here on C.o.M. several times and the discussions are always about the costs. Some have said that housing and a little cash in their pocket was adequate and others have chosen guys who demand luxury lifestyles including travel in exchange for their companionship. In the end, we all want SOMETHING from a relationship. Its at least quid-pro-quo if its not transactional. Unconditional love is something your grandma gave you. Everything else has terms.

[+ WstVlgChris]

15 hours ago, pubic_assistance said:

I just looked at their site.

Its $109 per month or $290 for three months. You most likely misunderstood the offer. I seriously doubt that ANY membership that's normally $109 per month is going to offer 75% off unless they're going out of business. 

Thank you for doing the research and letting me know. Once my membership expired, I did try to go back and look at the published rates, but my ability as an expired member to do anything there (read messages, etc.) was severely limited and I could not find the information. 

So it's my mistake.  Sorry for the false alarm, guys.  (On the other hand, it's more than 2 weeks later and Seeking customer service still has not provided the answer to my original question: How long of a membership did the initial $290 cover.)

[+ PhileasFogg]

1 hour ago, pubic_assistance said:

That was my initial thought when I tried dating men. Eventually I learned that it's merely the frequency of dramatic communication that I avoided, not the drama itself. 

Interesting to note you found a relationship that wasnt merely transactional, on that site. Its been mentioned here on C.o.M. several times and the discussions are always about the costs. Some have said that housing and a little cash in their pocket was adequate and others have chosen guys who demand luxury lifestyles including travel in exchange for their companionship. In the end, we all want SOMETHING from a relationship. Its at least quid-pro-quo if its not transactional. Unconditional love is something your grandma gave you. Everything else has terms.

If there’s an exchange of money, I view it as “helping a friend.”   But without connection, nothing else is sufficient for me.  

[MikeBiDude]

1 hour ago, PhileasFogg said:

If there’s an exchange of money, I view it as “helping a friend.”   But without connection, nothing else is sufficient for me.  

I think this is where “seeking” works well….connection before transaction. Maybe takes some time, but fulfilling and makes the rest a bit more meaningful.

[pubic_assistance]

1 minute ago, MikeBiDude said:

I think this is where “seeking” works well….connection before transaction. Maybe takes some time, but fulfilling and makes the rest a bit more meaningful.

Maybe I haven't followed this subject as carefully as you. ( Since I'm not "seeking" ) But my understanding was that the majority of the guys (/gals) on seeking are looking for immediate financial support.

Are there actually people who DO agree to "date" to seek connection ?

[MikeBiDude]

Just now, pubic_assistance said:

Maybe I haven't followed this subject as carefully as you. ( Since I'm not "seeking" ) But my understanding was that the majority of the guys (/gals) on seeking are looking for immediate financial support.

Are there actually people who DO agree to "date" to seek connection ?

I think my use of the word “connection” here isn’t really a dating long term use of the word. What I’m saying is there is some connection via more messaging, maybe phone calls, coffee date or whatnot before spending fun time together.  i.e. vs. NOT a Grindr or other “quick” hookup.

Plus, on seeking it’s 99% known that the younger guys are going to get contacted/involved with an older gentleman.

[kaboom35]

I wonder if there are a handful of Long Island guys on there? I’ve tried to set things up with guys in the city and it’s just too inconvenient for me and them.   It’s not as sustainable as to having someone more local.  

[MikeBiDude]

13 minutes ago, kaboom35 said:

I wonder if there are a handful of Long Island guys on there? I’ve tried to set things up with guys in the city and it’s just too inconvenient for me and them.   It’s not as sustainable as to having someone more local.  

I *think* you can join, search, etc without paying. But, you will not be able to reach out and send messages without a paid account.

I just looked at my closed account a day or two ago after seeing this thread. I had 60 messages, which I can’t read unless I pay again. Over half of the messages were from account that were already offline/deleted…people come and go there.

[kaboom35]

Just now, MikeBiDude said:

I *think* you can join, search, etc without paying. But, you will not be able to reach out and send messages without a paid account.

I just looked at my closed account a day or two ago after seeing this thread. I had 60 messages, which I can’t read unless I pay again. Over half of the messages were from account that were already offline/deleted…people come and go there.

Ah ok.  I thought I had to pay to look around and browse.  

[pubic_assistance]

30 minutes ago, MikeBiDude said:

there is some connection via more messaging, maybe phone calls, coffee date or whatnot before spending fun time together.  i.e. vs. NOT a Grindr or other “quick” hookup.

I wish there was more of that in general going on.

I miss the days of meeting someone out, having a drink, chatting a bit before going home to fuck their brains out.

Probably why I prefer meeting providers for a massage on a first meet. The encounter is more low key/ fewer expectations and more conducive to a little conversation. Wham*bam*thank*you*Ma'am isn't always what I am looking for.

[+ PhileasFogg]

2 hours ago, pubic_assistance said:

Maybe I haven't followed this subject as carefully as you. ( Since I'm not "seeking" ) But my understanding was that the majority of the guys (/gals) on seeking are looking for immediate financial support.

Are there actually people who DO agree to "date" to seek connection ?

In my experience, seeking immediate money only applied to 20% - and they were just like RM guys wanting a deposit to which I said “no”.  
 

Hell, five of them “gave it up” - two of them multiple times- without any arrangement.  I didn’t take advantage of them.  What can I say - nice house, nice cars, nice restaurants, no three pump dump, Italian, vasectomy, treat them with respect - oh, did I mention “ITALIAN?”   😇🤭😳
 

The young ones wanted everything but a financial arrangement.  I don’t expect the same with guys.  But guys generally offer no drama.  The girls just wanted to be treated well. 

Edited June 19 by PhileasFogg

[Simon Suraci]

Thought I would share this article which features David Geffen. He started his relationship with a young model on Seeking Arrangements (what it was called at the time). It’s an interesting portrait of how some view the site as enabling predatory behavior, but as many have discussed here, the site facilitates the start of a variety of healthy and not so healthy relationships.

Drugs, Paid Sex and No Prenup: David Geffen’s Divorce Drama Goes Public as Mogul’s Ex Files Explosive Lawsuit

VARIETY.COM

---

Donovan Michaels has sued Hollywood mogul David Geffen for breach of contract, claiming that Geffen treated...

 

[pubic_assistance]

8 hours ago, Simon Suraci said:

He started his relationship with a young model on Seeking Arrangements

Wow. so interesting. Thanks for sharing. So billionaires actually DO shop for companions on the site ! Its not all just hype. 

[+ sniper]

7 minutes ago, pubic_assistance said:

Wow. so interesting. Thanks for sharing. So billionaires actually DO shop for companions on the site ! Its not all just hype. 

I assumed there'd be a higher end bespoke "off the grid" service for such types.

[56harrisond]

58 minutes ago, sniper said:

I assumed there'd be a higher end bespoke "off the grid" service for such types.

Raya is a private, membership-based, exclusive social network application for iOS, founded by Daniel Gendelman in 2014.[1] Originally a dating app, Raya has since added features to promote professional networking and social discovery.[2][3][4] Raya’s membership is largely restrictive, limited to Apple users, celebrities, high-profile industry individuals and internet personalities, through a long selection process or invite.

 

I got on the exclusive dating app Raya and discovered that it’s less about love and more about networking

SCREENSHOT-MEDIA.COM

---

On a normal Tuesday two weeks ago, around 2AM in the morning, I was sent a text message to confirm that I had been...

 

https://www.rayatheapp.com/

 

[cany10011]

3 minutes ago, 56harrisond said:

Raya is a private, membership-based, exclusive social network application for iOS, founded by Daniel Gendelman in 2014.[1] Originally a dating app, Raya has since added features to promote professional networking and social discovery.[2][3][4] Raya’s membership is largely restrictive, limited to Apple users, celebrities, high-profile industry individuals and internet personalities, through a long selection process or invite.

 

I got on the exclusive dating app Raya and discovered that it’s less about love and more about networking

SCREENSHOT-MEDIA.COM

---

On a normal Tuesday two weeks ago, around 2AM in the morning, I was sent a text message to confirm that I had been...

 

https://www.rayatheapp.com/

 

My regular SB is on it. He is good looking, but that’s about it. He told me it was a long vetting process as well and offered to recommend me. I declined. Lots of well known guys on it.