How to disclose skin conditions like Acne or HS

[k212310]

So I have had some hiccups with my health. I’m in my mid 40s and the family medical history genes are starting to kick in. Growing up I never really had acne on my face but on my back and upper chest and forearm like a cape so to speak. But there is some scarring and an occasional break out looking like a small rash from scratching. Well the family stalker of hereditary diabetes kicked in as did the hidradenitis suppurativa (HS aka acne inversa) diagnosis as with others in my family.

I’m lucky, it’s in its earliest stage (Stage I) and only recurring on my buttocks (others have it worse in growing and arm pits) and no tunneling. For me basically large PAINFUL boils (nodules) that look and feel like cysts or ‘really big pimples’ that never pop (only inflamed tissue usually)  so nothing to ‘drain’ like a usual cyst or break the skin and deeper and flare up. So metformin and doxycycline for life as a profilaxis but I got some war scars from many surgeries on my keister that may flare up again (in addition to the acne scars on my back).

I’ve seen providers especially those who provide sensual to erotic to thereaputic massages or combo escort providers “no open wounds, skin conditions, etc.” So how do I explain ‘sorry for being unsightly or textured scarred up but I’m not contagious it’s just bad genes.’ I was diagnosed about 7 months ago and have not engaged any type of provider as I’m nervous how to bring it up.

To any providers out there or clients who might have similar issues (like eczema) any tips on how broach the subject so I avoid any awkward looks had I not disclosed? Thank you all for your continued courtesy and input. 

[Luv2play]

Sorry to hear about your condition and hope you can gain control over it. Definitely bring it up in any discussion before hiring a provider so as to avoid any negative reactions on meeting. It falls in with other issues regarding health that clients and providers should feel comfortable about talking in a mature open way. My approach is always don’t spring last minute surprises when arranging what is a very intimate service. Btw welcome to the forum. I see this is your first post after being a member for a couple of years. 

[BrooklynIrish]

Lots of people have skin conditions. I suspect you won’t want a massage or sex when you have active boils.

I would just be upfront about the skin condition so it doesn’t cause questions. 

[Rod Hagen]

When young I spent SO MUCH time with SO many men with psoriasis and others with eczema.  As long as the escorts are smart enough to understand what you have also isn't communicable, the good ones will see it as a beautiful tattoo from God.  That's the challenge, finding a guy more informed than reactionary.  Find him, stick with him, and at that point stop shopping.  I wish you well.

[italianboyph]

Sorry to hear about your condition. Just always be transparent and upfront with provider. I've met with clients in the past with different skin conditions and they were up front. Completely understandable,  especially with something you have no control over and isn't contagious. The right people will understand and be there, I promise. 

[d.anders]

On 5/25/2025 at 9:14 PM, k212310 said:

So how do I explain ‘sorry for being unsightly or textured scarred up but I’m not contagious it’s just bad genes.’

I wish I had a good answer, at least an encouraging one. I don't have any skin issues, other than mine is sensitive to certain products. Even with "no baby oil, please," the communication door often gets shut. My issues are skeleton related, and post-Covid, I haven't found one person truly interested in listening. I've learned to wait until I'm naked, and just about to get on the table, before I begin to explain what I can and can't do.

On 5/26/2025 at 11:54 AM, Rod Hagen said:

As long as the escorts are smart enough to understand what you have also isn't communicable

Unless the provider is a med student, this will be like trying to find a needle in a haystack. Frankly, a customer can say anything, and the provider will decide what he believes and what he doesn't, based on what he sees and how his stomach reacts. The customer can try to educate a provider, but most of the HE guys will not respond like a professional. Yes, if you can find someone who understands and gives a damn, don't ever let him go.

[BrooklynIrish]

41 minutes ago, d.anders said:

The customer can try to educate a provider, but most of the HE guys will not respond like a professional. Yes, if you can find someone who understands and gives a damn, don't ever let him go.

This may be true for many guys. If @k212310 lets us know where he is, maybe we can suggest some good providers who we know will be understanding. 

[+ PhileasFogg]

I understand that this is a convergence of many things…that may trump my experience, but when I went dairy free in my 50’s, my life long “backne “ cleared up immediately.  When I quit gluten, my chronic dermatagia herpetiformus cleared up as well

[Thelatin]

I struggled with psoriasis for years, thankfully it’s under control now.  I was just up front about saying what it was.