Advice for first time

[Fitdljay]

I have lurked on websites for a while and finally reached out to a provider and finally bit the bullet. We have agreed to meet up in a couple days when I am on a work trip. It’s going to be my first time with a provider.
I am excited and nervous. I have never done anything like this and it is really important that it remains private. 

The provider I am meeting has lots of positive reviews. I told him what I’m looking for. He seems cool. 
Is there anything else I need to know or do to set this up for success? 

Also, I’ll be hosting him at my hotel. I have a few coworkers staying there too. I’m not out! I’m hoping he can discreetly come up to my hotel room, fuck my brains out, then discreetly disappear. 

[ShortCutie7]

My regret from my first time with a provider (just over a year ago; you’re not alone) was not verbally asking for what I wanted sooner- he had clearly read and understood what I had written, but when the time came was more go-with-the-flow and we didn’t do certain activities until the session was almost over and I realized I would have to ask for it.

Your coworkers probably won’t see him entering or exiting your room unless they are nearby.  If they do, you can easily make up something like that he is a friend who lives in the area visiting your room to catch up.

[Becket]

Hey man, tell the provider you're a little nervous. He'll know you are, and it helps you relax as well. Always found that providers will be friendlier and more accommodating if you say this. Fair warning though: This little hobby is addictive. Lots of fun, but it's like potato chips. One is never enough.

[56harrisond]

Some existing "first time" threads

 

[Fitdljay]

Thank you. This helps me relax.

I will tell him I’m nervous and somewhat inexperienced. 
It was also helpful reading about other guys first time. Key is to communicate and chill. Hopefully I’ll enjoy the experience. 

Feel free to message or post another thoughts if they come up. Thanks guys. 

[Fitdljay]

45 minutes ago, ShortCutie7 said:

My regret from my first time with a provider (just over a year ago; you’re not alone) was not verbally asking for what I wanted sooner- he had clearly read and understood what I had written, but when the time came was more go-with-the-flow and we didn’t do certain activities until the session was almost over and I realized I would have to ask for it.

Your coworkers probably won’t see him entering or exiting your room unless they are nearby.  If they do, you can easily make up something like that he is a friend who lives in the area visiting your room to catch up.

Thanks. I’m kinda paranoid about coworkers seeing us coming up the elevator or entering my room. It’s probably fine.

But I might look into either leaving a key for him at the front desk OR meeting him in a lobby or nearby coffee shop then walking to my room together. 

[Fitdljay]

36 minutes ago, Becket said:

Hey man, tell the provider you're a little nervous. He'll know you are, and it helps you relax as well. Always found that providers will be friendlier and more accommodating if you say this. Fair warning though: This little hobby is addictive. Lots of fun, but it's like potato chips. One is never enough.

Will do! Thanks.

Also, I agree: Joe Burrows is FINE

[Fitdljay]

36 minutes ago, 56harrisond said:

Some existing "first time" threads

 

Thanks for compiling these for me. I’m still learning how to search effectively on this website. Really appreciate it 

[Nodakman]

If you tell the provider you are down low, they know how to blend in when walking through lobby, elevator, etc… even better if the hotel doesn’t need a key to access floors. I wish you the best experience like I had for my first hire… not only my first hire, but first for many things. As stated before, it opens a whole new world.. cheers!

[Fitdljay]

8 minutes ago, Nodakman said:

If you tell the provider you are down low, they know how to blend in when walking through lobby, elevator, etc… even better if the hotel doesn’t need a key to access floors. I wish you the best experience like I had for my first hire… not only my first hire, but first for many things. As stated before, it opens a whole new world.. cheers!

Thank you. Will do! 

[+ ApexNomad]

2 hours ago, ShortCutie7 said:

My regret from my first time with a provider (just over a year ago; you’re not alone) was not verbally asking for what I wanted sooner- he had clearly read and understood what I had written, but when the time came was more go-with-the-flow and we didn’t do certain activities until the session was almost over and I realized I would have to ask for it.

Your coworkers probably won’t see him entering or exiting your room unless they are nearby.  If they do, you can easily make up something like that he is a friend who lives in the area visiting your room to catch up.

Try not to regret anything about your first time - there’s so much at play. Pressure. Expectations. Nerves. Having a short window of time to be intimate with a complete stranger. Etc. etc.  It’s a lot and can be overwhelming. 

One question though if you don’t mind me asking - If had communicated your needs and he had clearly read and understood what you wanted like you said, do you have any sense of why those activities didn’t happen until the end? Do you think he was waiting for you to initiate or ask out loud?

[ShortCutie7]

4 minutes ago, ApexNomad said:

Try not to regret anything about your first time - there’s so much at play. Pressure. Expectations. Nerves. Having a short window of time to be intimate with a complete stranger. Etc. etc.  It’s a lot and can be overwhelming. 

One question though if you don’t mind me asking - If had communicated your needs and he had clearly read and understood what you wanted like you said, do you have any sense of why those activities didn’t happen until the end? Do you think he was waiting for you to initiate or ask out loud?

He knew I was nervous and was definitely waiting for me to initiate.  There was also no natural chemistry (I could tell immediately he was not attracted to me), so the entire encounter was kind of awkward.  All that said, I did have a great time and don’t generally regret it.

[+ ApexNomad]

2 minutes ago, ShortCutie7 said:

He knew I was nervous and was definitely waiting for me to initiate.  There was also no natural chemistry (I could tell immediately he was not attracted to me), so the entire encounter was kind of awkward.  All that said, I did have a great time and don’t generally regret it.

Thank you for sharing that. I’m sorry there wasn’t more chemistry or that he didn’t take the lead a little, especially knowing it was your first time and that you were nervous. That can be tough. But I’m really glad to hear you still had a good time overall. Sometimes just taking that step, even if it’s not perfect, is something to be proud of. You deserve connection and comfort, and I hope your future experiences are even more aligned with what you want and need.

[+ Axiom2001]

...read your post with interest but decided NOT to write about my first experience, for it transpired way too many back.  But one thing that caught my eye was that you're NOT OUT to your associates and that they will be staying in the same hotel.

Many hotels now provide a key in order for one to access his floor.  Ask the provider to send you a text when he's arrived and to go to the elevator to wait for you.  You'll come down and let him get on, and both of you can go up together.  

Or, you let him on and ride up together and go to your room separately if the corridor is not clear.

Please report back here once the experience has concluded and let us know how everything went.

It'll be fun, especially your opening up to him to be 'DICKED DOWN!'  My favorite position is lying on my back and letting a man who has "a large blessing" to give me his all--reaching my last ring!!

[Thique]

Also remember that there are providers that will look for opportunities to take advantage of you. Relax and enjoy yourself, but don’t be a push over.

Make sure you are clear about what you want, for how long and the fee. Some providers will try and cut time short or charge extra for staying longer without explaining that to you … others will do the minimum (which may or may not be what your agreed to) and expect full fee.

I don’t know your provider so my advice is more general. There are some good ones out there for sure, just don’t allow yourself to be taken advantage of. Providers are providing a service for a fee, so don’t feel like they are doing you a favour.

 

[Wings246]

5 hours ago, Fitdljay said:

I have a few coworkers staying there too.

This may be something to consider, especially when you need absolute privacy.  Not sure how the hotel rooms are booked.  If it's done by your office admin, adjacent rooms may be booked together.  Are the rooms sound proof enough then?  You know some hotels have paper thin walls.

If I were you and if possible, I'd avoid letting your coworkers know your room number at all costs.  There may be some clingy coworkers who want to hang out and/or ask you for work related help after work hours.  Sure, you can silence your phone, but if they know where you are, they may knock on your door in the most inopportune time.  Chances of this happening are slim, but you want that chance to be zero.

[Erbenle]

Hey—first of all, take a breath. You’ve already done the hardest part. You reached out, made a plan, and now it’s happening. That’s a big deal.

And yeah, it’s totally normal to be nervous. Everyone is the first time. Honestly, the only real mistakes I’ve made in situations like this were because I let nerves take over. So try not to. Relax. Take a walk, throw on some porn if that helps you get in the mood, and remind yourself—you want this. That’s why you’re doing it.

This guy’s a pro. Discretion is part of the job. He’s done this a hundred times. He’ll know how to come and go without anyone blinking. He doesn’t want to draw attention to himself either. He’s there to make things smooth, simple, and low-key.

You’ve already told him what you’re looking for—which is great. If there’s anything else you want—or don’t want—just say it clearly. Before things get physical. That’s what good communication is, and pros respect that.

Now, about the hotel—totally get it, not being out and having coworkers around. You’ve got options. When you check in, ask for a room away from the rest of your group—ideally even on a different floor if possible. I do it all the time. Hotel front desk staff absolutely understand discretion. A quiet, direct ask like, “Could I be somewhere a little more private, away from the group?” with a bit of eye contact has worked for me 100% of the time. And if it seems like others in your group might overhear and start asking questions, no worries—just let everyone else check in first, then step up to the desk on your own. I’m telling you—I’ve done this before.

As for the actual meetup, you can give the provider clear instructions on how to get to your room—most hotels don’t require any interaction at the front desk. If you’re nervous about him knocking, ask him to text when he’s outside so you can open the door right away—no hallway lingering. You could also leave the door slightly open like you’re waiting on room service, or if it feels easier, just meet him outside and walk in together like two people getting back from dinner. Your coworkers aren’t paying attention unless you give them a reason to. Keep it casual, keep it calm.

Also—don’t be afraid to say, “Hey, I’m a little nervous—any ideas for keeping it low-key?” He’s the pro. He’s there to make it easy. He might have tricks you haven’t even thought of.

Last thing—don’t overthink it. Be smart, stay safe, but let yourself enjoy this. You’re in control. This is about you feeling good. And you’ve got this.

KEEP US UPDATED! We all want to know how it goes!  

[Fitdljay]

22 minutes ago, Erbenle said:

Hey—first of all, take a breath. You’ve already done the hardest part. You reached out, made a plan, and now it’s happening. That’s a big deal.

And yeah, it’s totally normal to be nervous. Everyone is the first time. Honestly, the only real mistakes I’ve made in situations like this were because I let nerves take over. So try not to. Relax. Take a walk, throw on some porn if that helps you get in the mood, and remind yourself—you want this. That’s why you’re doing it.

This guy’s a pro. Discretion is part of the job. He’s done this a hundred times. He’ll know how to come and go without anyone blinking. He doesn’t want to draw attention to himself either. He’s there to make things smooth, simple, and low-key.

You’ve already told him what you’re looking for—which is great. If there’s anything else you want—or don’t want—just say it clearly. Before things get physical. That’s what good communication is, and pros respect that.

Now, about the hotel—totally get it, not being out and having coworkers around. You’ve got options. When you check in, ask for a room away from the rest of your group—ideally even on a different floor if possible. I do it all the time. Hotel front desk staff absolutely understand discretion. A quiet, direct ask like, “Could I be somewhere a little more private, away from the group?” with a bit of eye contact has worked for me 100% of the time. And if it seems like others in your group might overhear and start asking questions, no worries—just let everyone else check in first, then step up to the desk on your own. I’m telling you—I’ve done this before.

As for the actual meetup, you can give the provider clear instructions on how to get to your room—most hotels don’t require any interaction at the front desk. If you’re nervous about him knocking, ask him to text when he’s outside so you can open the door right away—no hallway lingering. You could also leave the door slightly open like you’re waiting on room service, or if it feels easier, just meet him outside and walk in together like two people getting back from dinner. Your coworkers aren’t paying attention unless you give them a reason to. Keep it casual, keep it calm.

Also—don’t be afraid to say, “Hey, I’m a little nervous—any ideas for keeping it low-key?” He’s the pro. He’s there to make it easy. He might have tricks you haven’t even thought of.

Last thing—don’t overthink it. Be smart, stay safe, but let yourself enjoy this. You’re in control. This is about you feeling good. And you’ve got this.

KEEP US UPDATED! We all want to know how it goes!  

Thanks. I appreciate the detailed reply. I like the point about getting a room away from the group. 

From what I can see online, my hotel requires a keycard to come up the elevator to the guest rooms. I will either have to meet him in the lobby or leave a keycard for him at the front desk (I imagine he might not want to engage with the hotel staff if he doesn’t need to plus I don’t want him to know my government name in case the ask)

[Fitdljay]

3 hours ago, Wings246 said:

This may be something to consider, especially when you need absolute privacy.  Not sure how the hotel rooms are booked.  If it's done by your office admin, adjacent rooms may be booked together.  Are the rooms sound proof enough then?  You know some hotels have paper thin walls.

If I were you and if possible, I'd avoid letting your coworkers know your room number at all costs.  There may be some clingy coworkers who want to hang out and/or ask you for work related help after work hours.  Sure, you can silence your phone, but if they know where you are, they may knock on your door in the most inopportune time.  Chances of this happening are slim, but you want that chance to be zero.

Thank you! Absolutely will keep my room number to myself. 

[Fitdljay]

4 hours ago, Thique said:

Also remember that there are providers that will look for opportunities to take advantage of you. Relax and enjoy yourself, but don’t be a push over.

Make sure you are clear about what you want, for how long and the fee. Some providers will try and cut time short or charge extra for staying longer without explaining that to you … others will do the minimum (which may or may not be what your agreed to) and expect full fee.

I don’t know your provider so my advice is more general. There are some good ones out there for sure, just don’t allow yourself to be taken advantage of. Providers are providing a service for a fee, so don’t feel like they are doing you a favour.

 

Thank you. Will keep that in mind. 

This provider is well reviewed. Hoping he is professional about it. But you are right, I need to hold him accountable 

[Fitdljay]

6 hours ago, Axiom2001 said:

...read your post with interest but decided NOT to write about my first experience, for it transpired way too many back.  But one thing that caught my eye was that you're NOT OUT to your associates and that they will be staying in the same hotel.

Many hotels now provide a key in order for one to access his floor.  Ask the provider to send you a text when he's arrived and to go to the elevator to wait for you.  You'll come down and let him get on, and both of you can go up together.  

Or, you let him on and ride up together and go to your room separately if the corridor is not clear.

Please report back here once the experience has concluded and let us know how everything went.

It'll be fun, especially your opening up to him to be 'DICKED DOWN!'  My favorite position is lying on my back and letting a man who has "a large blessing" to give me his all--reaching my last ring!!

Thanks. You are right about the hotel requiring a keycard. My plan is to ride down the elevator then up with him. 
I guess I’ll have to describe what I look like so he will know it’s me lol. I haven’t seen his face either but I bet I would recognize his body 😈

 

[+ Pensant]

10 hours ago, Fitdljay said:

I’m hoping he can discreetly come up to my hotel room, fuck my brains out

You probably know this, but if you’re bottoming, make sure you douche beforehand.

Let us know how it goes. We love hearing how first times go since we’ve all been there!

[Erbenle]

5 hours ago, Fitdljay said:

Thanks. You are right about the hotel requiring a keycard. My plan is to ride down the elevator then up with him. 
I guess I’ll have to describe what I look like so he will know it’s me lol. I haven’t seen his face either but I bet I would recognize his body 😈

 

One of the magical things about your first time, is the realization the moment you lay eyes on each other and instantly know each other. Its immediate. It’s sexy. Wink at him or give him a fun smirk….its the best. Enjoy it.  

[Oakman]

17 hours ago, Fitdljay said:

Also, I’ll be hosting him at my hotel. I have a few coworkers staying there too. I’m not out! I’m hoping he can discreetly come up to my hotel room, fuck my brains out, then discreetly disappear. 

I want you to enjoy your first time, bud. But you’ve created unnecessary risk for yourself. If any of your coworkers know where your room is, you absolutely stand a chance of someone spotting what is going on. This risk increases if you meet your guy in the lobby and take the elevator with him. 
 

I am pretty seasoned at hiring and am fairly sex positive. There is no way I would meet an escort at a hotel that also had colleagues, friends or family. Hoping you don’t get seen is not an effective strategy for managing risk. Ensuring that you cannot be seen is. Eliminate your risk and have fun somewhere else. 
 

Additionally, relying on an escort to maintain your discretion is also risky. You have no control over his judgement on things like being inconspicuous, or acting like your acquaintance when your colleague sees you in the lobby. You need to look out for yourself and not expect a paid stranger to save you from embarrassment. 

Edited May 21 by Oakman

[Fitdljay]

21 minutes ago, Oakman said:

I want you to enjoy your first time, bud. But you’ve created unnecessary risk for yourself. If any of your coworkers know where your room is, you absolutely stand a chance of someone spotting what is going on. This risk increases if you meet your guy in the lobby and take the elevator with him. 
 

I am pretty seasoned at hiring and am fairly sex positive. There is no way I would meet an escort at a hotel that also had colleagues, friends or family. Hoping you don’t get seen is not an effective strategy for managing risk. Ensuring that you cannot be seen is. Eliminate your risk and have fun somewhere else. 
 

Additionally, relying on an escort to maintain your discretion is also risky. You have no control over his judgement on things like being inconspicuous, or acting like your acquaintance when your colleague sees you in the lobby. You need to look out for yourself and not expect a paid stranger to save you from embarrassment. 

Thanks man. I really appreciate your perspective. Gonna think about this some more. 
A) I could roll the dice and take a significant risk 

B) I could look for  cheap or hourly motel nearby 

How do I find a cheap place to host? I’m gonna be in Philadelphia. Any pointers?