Guys who only bottom for strict tops

[Constantine]

I've seen a few discussions on X where guys insist that they will only bottom for strict tops. They see strict tops as more masculine and so will gladly submit to them but won't bottom for a verse guy. I'm a strict top myself but just wondering how widespread this view is among bottoms.

[+ Just Chuck]

Can you define what a strict top is?

Someone who strictly tops meaning that they don’t do other stuff? Or, a dominant partner who takes strict control as they top?

Or something else?

[corndog]

For what it's worth, I avoid guys who call themselves "total tops" or "strict tops." In my experience, these guys are selfish tops who don't take into account the pleasure and comfort of the bottom. The worst are guys with hangups about their masculinity who think that it's "more gay" to bottom than it is to top.

In my opinion, some experience bottoming makes a person a better top because they can understand and relate to the experience of the bottom.

[marylander1940]

1 hour ago, Quincy_7 said:

I've seen a few discussions on X where guys insist that they will only bottom for strict tops. They see strict tops as more masculine and so will gladly submit to them but won't bottom for a verse guy. I'm a strict top myself but just wondering how widespread this view is among bottoms.

How can bottoms know if someone is a "strict top"? 

In my honest opinion, the best tops are the ones who occasionally bottom. 

50 minutes ago, Just Chuck said:

Can you define what a strict top is?

Someone who strictly tops meaning that they don’t do other stuff? Or, a dominant partner who takes strict control as they top?

Or something else?

to me a "strict top" is someone who tried bottoming and didn't like it... 

[Constantine]

1 hour ago, Just Chuck said:

Can you define what a strict top is?

Someone who strictly tops meaning that they don’t do other stuff? Or, a dominant partner who takes strict control as they top?

Or something else?

 

Someone who never bottoms, only tops.

[+ Vegas_Millennial]

10 hours ago, Quincy_7 said:

I've seen a few discussions on X where guys insist that they will only bottom for strict tops. They see strict tops as more masculine and so will gladly submit to them but won't bottom for a verse guy. I'm a strict top myself but just wondering how widespread this view is among bottoms.

In my experience, bottoms make the best tops 😉 

If you know, you know

[+ Just Chuck]

Taste in sexual partner and activity preferences is a lot like taste in foods.  One person might like pies, another cakes, another ice cream and another not like sweets at all.  None of those preferences are wrong.

[pubic_assistance]

16 hours ago, Vegas_Millennial said:

In my experience, bottoms make the best tops 😉 

If you know, you know

I don't know if I agree with that first sentence....but

If you know / you know, is surely true.

I think you do need SOME experience bottoming to be a superior top.

 

[BuffaloKyle]

On 4/28/2025 at 2:49 PM, corndog said:

For what it's worth, I avoid guys who call themselves "total tops" or "strict tops." In my experience, these guys are selfish tops who don't take into account the pleasure and comfort of the bottom. The worst are guys with hangups about their masculinity who think that it's "more gay" to bottom than it is to top.

In my opinion, some experience bottoming makes a person a better top because they can understand and relate to the experience of the bottom.

I call myself a total top but enjoy romantic, sensual sex with lots of kissing and foreplay. I also love to rim as well so I definitely think I take into account the bottom being pleasured.

[+ ApexNomad]

For me, a total top in bed is someone who exclusively takes the penetrative or dominant role during anal sex—they don’t bottom. But beyond that, it’s also an attitude. A total top takes charge, sets the tone, and leads both the physical and emotional energy of the encounter. They often enjoy being in control.

That can show up in different ways—sometimes tender and attentive, other times rough and commanding.

But the best ones understand it’s not just about getting off; it’s about making their partner feel wanted, desired, and cared for.

[+ Gar1eth]

I'm a total top when I can top. And I think the majority of the time, I can't say all because I'm not perfect, but try to make sure the bottom is enjoying it too.
 

 My preferred position is missionary. I'm usually stroking my partner's talllywacker while I'm topping. I've had multiple guys relate to me that not everyone does that. But it seems like the most natural thing in the world for me to do. Also another advantage of the missionary position is that I can see my partner's face. His expression can often offer me clues as to what I am doing that he particularly likes. 

[+ JEC]

On 4/28/2025 at 2:49 PM, corndog said:

For what it's worth, I avoid guys who call themselves "total tops" or "strict tops." In my experience, these guys are selfish tops who don't take into account the pleasure and comfort of the bottom. The worst are guys with hangups about their masculinity who think that it's "more gay" to bottom than it is to top.

In my opinion, some experience bottoming makes a person a better top because they can understand and relate to the experience of the bottom.

Respectfully, this is not a fair generalization.  I'm sure the types of tops you describe exist. 

I for one am a strict top (do not bottom, I simply do not enjoy it I also psychologically prefer being in the dominant role).  While I describe myself as a Dom Top, I also describe myself as respectful (meaning, I care about the bottom's experience as well).   The hottest sex is when both parties are connected and in sync, and working to maximize the pleasure and experience of both.  For example, I have had bottoms cum hands-free, and experience "anal orgasms" because of the pleasure they are experiencing, so HOT 🔥.  Not all bottoms want to be "subs" (submissive bottoms), in which case a Dom Top is probably not a good match for you. 

Subs to the front of the line please!  🐽🐖🐷🍆🍑

[+ Vegas_Millennial]

20 hours ago, pubic_assistance said:

I don't know if I agree with that first sentence....but

If you know / you know, is surely true.

I think you do need SOME experience bottoming to be a superior top.

 

That's what I was trying to say.  A great top usually has some bottom experience.  By all means, I want a top who is enjoying himself in my hole and using it for his pleasure first.  But, spend a few minutes on my (the bottom's) pleasure and then I'll return the  favor

[pubic_assistance]

1 hour ago, Vegas_Millennial said:

That's what I was trying to say.  A great top usually has some bottom experience.  By all means, I want a top who is enjoying himself in my hole and using it for his pleasure first.  But, spend a few minutes on my (the bottom's) pleasure and then I'll return the  favor

Well...I will probably get in trouble for this from a few "purists" here...but I would further say that the best tops are also the ones who have experience with women. Because the girls don't put up with selfish tops. You gotta make sure your gal is taken care of first and foremost. 

Not to toot my own horn...I've had enough *OMG* compliments after sex to know that I'm doing something right...and it ain't a BIG dick. 😉 I have always assumed it was that I never learned to be a selfish top, because my first six years of sexual experience were only with women.

[+ Vegas_Millennial]

1 hour ago, pubic_assistance said:

Well...I will probably get in trouble for this from a few "purists" here...but I would further say that the best tops are also the ones who have experience with women. Because the girls don't put up with selfish tops. You gotta make sure your gal is taken care of first and foremost. 

Not to toot my own horn...I've had enough *OMG* compliments after sex to know that I'm doing something right...and it ain't a BIG dick. 😉 I have always assumed it was that I never learned to be a selfish top, because my first six years of sexual experience were only with women.

That is great insight into why some gay men prefer to hire straight or bisexual men.  If an escort has learned to please a woman, then he should certainly have an easier time to please a man.  Makes sense to me

[Simon Suraci]

11 hours ago, JEC said:

The hottest sex is when both parties are connected and in sync, and working to maximize the pleasure and experience of both. 

Yes! 👏 

Tops come in all varieties. Good tops are in very short supply, unfortunately. By good tops, I mean something like what @JEC is describing. You just don’t find them very often in the wild.