Surprise Personality Change - Roller Coaster providers

[StableMentalDefective]

9 minutes ago, Monarchy79 said:

Approach life understanding that nothing lasts forever. 
So if you have an outstanding rapport with a massage guy, barber, retail Salesperson, dry cleaner, tailor, car detailer, friends, co workers, lovers or anyone else;  just enjoy the fantastic experiences while you’re getting them. Once this changes, move on, and appreciate the memories, and feel good about what’s to come next with someone new. 

Recently I ran into a former acquaintance I hadn’t seen in years, we travelled, worked out, shopped, and bar hopped together. Everything was great until it wasn’t. He faded out and just didn’t contact me anymore. He had closer friends with whom I assumed he gravitated with more. 
I ran into him recently, we exchanged pleasantries and he asked to get together to “catch up”. I told him that we just “caught up”, and I’m good on reconnecting, but it was great to see him and I wish him well. If I see him again, I’ll be just as pleasant, but will tell him the same thing. 
 

Once a ship has sailed, I don’t need to swim off shore to try and catch it again…. 

No silence tonight…

[Ali Gator]

12 hours ago, Monarchy79 said:

I ran into him recently, we exchanged pleasantries and he asked to get together to “catch up”. I told him that we just “caught up”, and I’m good on reconnecting, but it was great to see him and I wish him well. If I see him again, I’ll be just as pleasant, but will tell him the same thing. 
 

Once a ship has sailed, I don’t need to swim off shore to try and catch it again…. 

WOW! I don't know if this was your intention, but in this exchange you shared you come across as very hurt, bitter and rather juvenile. 

In this case, the ship returned and there was no 'swimming off shore' on your part. The ship returned to you, you were cordially invited to get on, but you come across as too hurt to do so. If you did accept his invitation and met up again for a longer catch-up, you may have rekindled an old friendship which could benefit you at this stage of your life (or maybe not, but you gave it a shot). And through my own experience at 61, I can say rekindling old friendships is much more rewarding than trying to start new ones as we get older. 

Wishing you all the best as you move forward. 

 

[Monarchy79]

1 hour ago, Ali Gator said:

WOW! I don't know if this was your intention, but in this exchange you shared you come across as very hurt, bitter and rather juvenile. 

In this case, the ship returned and there was no 'swimming off shore' on your part. The ship returned to you, you were cordially invited to get on, but you come across as too hurt to do so. If you did accept his invitation and met up again for a longer catch-up, you may have rekindled an old friendship which could benefit you at this stage of your life (or maybe not, but you gave it a shot). And through my own experience at 61, I can say rekindling old friendships is much more rewarding than trying to start new ones as we get older. 

Wishing you all the best as you move forward. 

 

Thanks for your feedback. 

No. not hurt at all. I have no ill-will towards the former friend. Just have no reason to attempt to go back and recreate a paradigm that’s long gone. I see this no differently my than other chapters that closes in my life, which includes high school, college, and old jobs. Enjoyed my time there, learned what was needed and don’t need to go back. 
 

To elaborate further, there are friendships where I’ve lost contact with people, and we started back exactly where we left off (and the reunion was great). However, this scenario wasn’t one of them. I got bad vibes from him in a shady way, which is why we faded out. 
 

Having a mindset focused on moving forward doesn’t indicate any continued trauma or issues. IMO, those who continuously go back and forth in relationship cycles with people are the ones that need to be questioned on their “emotional wellbeing”. 

[Ali Gator]

12 minutes ago, Monarchy79 said:

I got bad vibes from him in a shady way, which is why we faded out. 

That's a very important part of the equation which you didn't include in your OP and changes the dynamics between the two of you.

Quote

 IMO, those who continuously go back and forth in relationship cycles with people are the ones that need to be questioned on their “emotional wellbeing”.

Interesting. I have always seen it the opposite - those people seem to be very well-adjusted and mature, and allow relationships to 'ebb and flow' like everything else in life.  They don't box themselves in with such stringent rules and unbreakable boundaries. But that's just how I see it through my own life experiences. 

[StableMentalDefective]

22 minutes ago, Monarchy79 said:

Thanks for your feedback. 

No. not hurt at all. I have no ill-will towards the former friend. Just have no reason to attempt to go back and recreate a paradigm that’s long gone. I see this no differently my than other chapters that closes in my life, which includes high school, college, and old jobs. Enjoyed my time there, learned what was needed and don’t need to go back. 
 

To elaborate further, there are friendships where I’ve lost contact with people, and we started back exactly where we left off (and the reunion was great). However, this scenario wasn’t one of them. I got bad vibes from him in a shady way, which is why we faded out. 
 

Having a mindset focused on moving forward doesn’t indicate any continued trauma or issues. IMO, those who continuously go back and forth in relationship cycles with people are the ones that need to be questioned on their “emotional wellbeing”. 

Another ‘no silence day’…

[Monarchy79]

5 hours ago, StableMentalDefective said:

Another ‘no silence day’…

If you’re bothered by my comments, you can  block my profile so you won’t see any of them. 

Further, when I mentioned silence, I was specifically referring to receiving the services I noted in that comment. 

Additionally, this is a forum. The point of forums is for people to share their opinions, discuss and learn from other’s perspectives. 

Take your idle time, and your sophomoric attempts of sarcasm and find something better to do. 
 

🥾💨💨💨
 

 

Edited April 20 by Monarchy79

[Monarchy79]

1 hour ago, StableMentalDefective said:

Another ‘no silence day’…

After reading your other posts on various topics, I see that you think you have a “schtick” of being sarcastic and “witty”. 

Unfortunately, you’re just coming across as an old, catty, bitch with a tarnished tiara. 
 

Do better.

BE better. 

[mike carey]

5 minutes ago, Monarchy79 said:

After reading your other posts on various topics, I see that you think you have a “schtick” of being sarcastic and “witty”. 

Unfortunately, you’re just coming across as an old, catty, bitch with a tarnished tiara. 
 

Do better.

BE better. 

I've found that holding one's breath has a higher success rate in stopping unwanted comments in the forum, but back to talking about personality changes, not about each other (unless we are the ones having said changes).

[StableMentalDefective]

19 minutes ago, Monarchy79 said:

After reading your other posts on various topics, I see that you think you have a “schtick” of being sarcastic and “witty”. 

Unfortunately, you’re just coming across as an old, catty, bitch with a tarnished tiara. 
 

Do better.

BE better. 

Don’t you mean Be Best? We really must keep high standards  

Thank you for the advice. 
 

Work on brevity. 

[Monarchy79]

28 minutes ago, mike carey said:

I've found that holding one's breath has a higher success rate in stopping unwanted comments in the forum, but back to talking about personality changes, not about each other (unless we are the ones having said changes).

True. However, some people don’t deserve the false sense of satisfaction they get from getting the “last word”. 
 

 

[Monarchy79]

11 minutes ago, StableMentalDefective said:

Don’t you mean Be Best? We really must keep high standards  

Thank you for the advice. 
 

Work on brevity. 

No, I don’t. My expectations of your character are too low to impose such a reach…. So “better” will have to suffice.

The sad part is that you literally proved within an hour that you weren’t even capable on doing that. 
 

I’ll work on brevity when you work on those obvious character flaws of yours. 

 

[StableMentalDefective]

1 minute ago, Monarchy79 said:

No, I don’t. My expectations of your character are too low to impose such a reach…. So “better” will have to suffice.

The sad part is that you literally proved within an hour that you weren’t even capable on doing that. 
 

I’ll work on brevity when you work on those obvious character flaws of yours. 

 

You won’t. It’s the air you breathe. 

[Monarchy79]

1 hour ago, StableMentalDefective said:

You won’t. It’s the air you breathe. 

And you won’t work on those behavioral/character flaws of yours…

It’s the stench that you emanate. 

[BSR]

Oooh, this is almost as good as …

 

[StableMentalDefective]

21 minutes ago, Monarchy79 said:

And you won’t work on those behavioral/character flaws of yours…

It’s the stench that you emanate. 

Definitely not Deafening Silence Day. 

[+ BenjaminNicholas]

2 hours ago, BSR said:

Oooh, this is almost as good as …

 

If we're doing best-of hits, now post the this champagne tastes burnt video

[mike carey]

Moderator's Note

Gentlemen, a little banter is fine, but once it descends into a constant to and fro about each other and not the topic at hand, it needs to stop. Remember to attack the arguments, not each other, and also a reminder that hijacking a thread to try to direct content in a way that you prefer rather than the OP's intention is in contravention of Forum Guidelines.

Thank you for your cooperation and understanding!

[Monarchy79]

4 minutes ago, BenjaminNicholas said:

If we're doing best-of hits, now post the this champagne tastes burnt video

Spot on!! I was just about to reference the Iconic Dominique Devereaux!!! 😂😂

[Luv2play]

On 4/19/2025 at 3:03 PM, Ali Gator said:

The other night I went to get my haircut at a salon that I've been going to for about three years now. The woman who owns it is about late 50s, and she and I kind of know some of the same people outside of the salon (acquaintances of mine, not friends). I would always be her last customer she booked (6 pm) because I was an easy 'in and out' (buzz cut).  

When I went to her the other night, she was less talkative than she usually is (which was fine with me), so I ceased making conversation. The appointment was less than fifteen minutes. At the end I paid her, she took the money (I never tip her since she's the owner and her pricing isn't exactly cheap) and didn't even make eye contact with me. I said, 'Thanks ! I'll call you in six weeks. Have a Happy Easter!"   She muttered "Mmmmm." turned around and walked to the backroom, giving me 'The Irish Goodbye' (yes, she has told me in the past she's 100% Irish). 

Does she realize I've been going to her for quite some time now, I'm one of the easiest / quickest clients she'll ever have, and she makes more money per minute than I do (and everyone else I know does) ? Maybe she was tired from a long day, maybe she didn't feel well, was she upset because I don't tip her ...who knows? All I know is as a business owner, force a smile, say 'Nice seeing you again! Happy Easter!' and wait until I'm out the door before you turn your tail and head to the backroom. I've decided if she does it again, it will be my last appointment with her. Why bother ? 

In these circumstances I would tip her. Even though she owns the business she is providing the same service as one of her employees would. 
 

My cuts also only take about 15 minutes and I tip about 20 percent. In some cases these have been owners and in other cases employees. 

[Ali Gator]

34 minutes ago, Luv2play said:

In these circumstances I would tip her. Even though she owns the business she is providing the same service as one of her employees would. 
 

My cuts also only take about 15 minutes and I tip about 20 percent. In some cases these have been owners and in other cases employees. 

Whenever a business owner or manager services me (especially in a cafe, or restaurant), I never tip them - they are always providing the same service as one of their employees. Difference is, they're pulling a higher salary / paycheck  than their workers, and they also earn the profits off the business. No tipping required.  

[Luv2play]

31 minutes ago, Ali Gator said:

Whenever a business owner or manager services me (especially in a cafe, or restaurant), I never tip them - they are always providing the same service as one of their employees. Difference is, they're pulling a higher salary / paycheck  than their workers, and they also earn the profits off the business. No tipping required.  

I can’t recall ever being in the position of thinking about tipping the owner of a restaurant or cafe. 
Hair salons or at least the ones I use are small businesses and I think if provided a cut by either the owner or one of their associates I tip the same. 
I guess others have different practices. Each to his own. 

[CuriousByNature]

On 4/19/2025 at 3:27 AM, BenjaminNicholas said:

Self-reflection is not a strong suit on this board.

Hold on a second.  Are you suggesting most of the forum members are vampires?

[+ DrownedBoy]

10 hours ago, Ali Gator said:

Whenever a business owner or manager services me (especially in a cafe, or restaurant), I never tip them - they are always providing the same service as one of their employees. Difference is, they're pulling a higher salary / paycheck  than their workers, and they also earn the profits off the business. No tipping required.  

Especially when, at a diner I frequent, the manager is working while being mean to the waitresses he's "working with." When he got criticized by a waitress, I backed her up, told the manager he was being a prick in front of a lot of people, and pointed out how many years I'd been eating there.

He wasn't there a few weeks later.

[Ali Gator]

I have a very good friend who has been the manager of a local IHOP for the past fifteen years. There are times when they are short-staffed, especially on a weekend morning, where she will jump on the floor and  'take a section' of four or five tables, and work her ass off with the other servers, rather than have a line out the door and a slowdown in the kitchen.

Her philosophy has always been : if the table tips her, she doesn't refuse or say she's the manager. Instead, she thanks them for the tip and sets it aside. At the end of the shift, she will divide HER tips up equally among the servers she worked with, so they get a 'bonus' for the day. So if she earns $100 in tips over a six hour shift, and she's working with four other servers that morning, the other four will get an additional $25 thanks to her. It's a win for everyone - the restaurant runs smoothly, the customers are happy, she's happy (she loves being face-to-face with customers like that) and her staff is happy. Probably why most of them have stayed with her for so many years. 

[Thelatin]

I was head over heels with a very attractive fit provider.  He could be so sweet, we would travel together etc.  However in order to be that fit, he was in a custom cocktail of vitamins, testosterone along with more anxiety meds than he would admit too.  The last time we met he just seemed hollowed out.  
 

I hope he’s doing fine.  But I had to move on.