Some explain this provider psychology to me

[parkneedler]

I live in New York, and I usually go to the massage parlors for massages as the cost is better than rentmass and it guarantees I don’t have to be massaged in someone’s bedroom. I actually don’t understand why anyone does rentmass over a parlor, but I decided to branch out with a very well reviewed provider, and when I got there he was not at all in the shape of his photos. Still fine, but very out of date. The massage was supposed to feature sensual elements, specifically mutual touch, b2b, and a promise to leave happy. $200 for an hour, great. 
 

In actuality, the sensual elements were very lazy - it was very clinical and lacked any s3xuality. But whatever. Toward the end, he flipped me and asked if I wanted to upgrade. He quoted me $400. I said no, that’s okay, he seemed annoyed, bargained down to $300, I said no, he seemed very irritated, gave me the promised base service, and the massage ended at the 45 minute mark. Whatever, I know I can’t win them all. 
 

My question is this: I didn’t need to have s3x so I said no. It was like saying no to a pizza after you’ve just eaten a hamburger: very easy. But more than that, I’m a handsome guy, and s3x is free. I can login to a hookup app or walk into the park and get it within 15 minutes. So why on earth would he think I would pay DOUBLE for it, when a massage is the actual service that I can’t find for free? I really only wanted the massage… I actually cannot understand the psychology. What’s going on with these providers?

[Jaystar14]

“I am a handsome guy, and s3x is free…” I love the confidence! 

[Lotus-eater]

Upselling is annoying, but why are you surprised when it's an easy way to double his pay (the client is already there and quite possibly in the mood for more)? And, unfortunately, it's pretty common for guys who are primarily escorts with little massage ability to also advertise on massage sites.

[parkneedler]

36 minutes ago, Lotus-eater said:

Upselling is annoying, but why are you surprised when it's an easy way to double his pay (the client is already there and quite possibly in the mood for more)? And, unfortunately, it's pretty common for guys who are primarily escorts with little massage ability to also advertise on massage sites.

I just can’t imagine taking him up on it, and to have the confidence to be annoyed is crazy when I was already just tolerating him, his lack of shape, and his energy in the massage so far. At least spend the half hour giving me the idea that more fun would actually be… fun?

[Lotus-eater]

1 hour ago, parkneedler said:

I just can’t imagine taking him up on it, and to have the confidence to be annoyed is crazy when I was already just tolerating him, his lack of shape, and his energy in the massage so far. At least spend the half hour giving me the idea that more fun would actually be… fun?

You said that he received good reviews, so perhaps you had different expectations than his typical client, he had an off night, or the reviews were fake.

[+ EVdude]

7 hours ago, parkneedler said:

I actually don’t understand why anyone does rentmass over a parlor, 

but I decided to branch out with a very well reviewed provider

Noting that you’re a relatively new registrant to CoM, curious about who the provider is and whether you searched here prior to contacting him. Has he been reviewed here? There is a whole world of legit non-parlor masseurs to be discovered and enjoyed. Reporting the provider in this forum will add to our collective knowledge base to help others avoid your situation. As always… search here first and YMMV!

[parkneedler]

4 hours ago, EVdude said:

Noting that you’re a relatively new registrant to CoM, curious about who the provider is and whether you searched here prior to contacting him. Has he been reviewed here? There is a whole world of legit non-parlor masseurs to be discovered and enjoyed. Reporting the provider in this forum will add to our collective knowledge base to help others avoid your situation. As always… search here first and YMMV!

I did search and there weren’t red flags. I eventually will share about him in the thread dedicated to him and review him on rentmass, but I want to wait until I’m less identifiable by him (ie more time has passed).

[SirBillybob]

[maninsoma]

9 hours ago, parkneedler said:

I just can’t imagine taking him up on it, and to have the confidence to be annoyed is crazy when I was already just tolerating him, his lack of shape, and his energy in the massage so far. At least spend the half hour giving me the idea that more fun would actually be… fun?

I think it's reasonable to be puzzled or irritated at the masseur's annoyance at your rejection of the additional service for additional cost.  What I don't understand is why you think it's wrong for him to have attempted the upsell, unless you think that's always bad form (and some members here do complain about it).  He doesn't know you so he has no reason to believe whether you would accept the offer.  Just because you're sexy enough to be able to have sex for free within 15 minutes doesn't mean that he knew that.  For all he knew, you were sex starved due to some psychological or other barriers.  And, for all he knew, he turned you on physically despite your disinterest in him sexually. 

[parkneedler]

2 hours ago, maninsoma said:

I think it's reasonable to be puzzled or irritated at the masseur's annoyance at your rejection of the additional service for additional cost.  What I don't understand is why you think it's wrong for him to have attempted the upsell, unless you think that's always bad form (and some members here do complain about it).  He doesn't know you so he has no reason to believe whether you would accept the offer.  Just because you're sexy enough to be able to have sex for free within 15 minutes doesn't mean that he knew that.  For all he knew, you were sex starved due to some psychological or other barriers.  And, for all he knew, he turned you on physically despite your disinterest in him sexually. 

Yeah, I get this perspective in a way, I think for me it’s the difference between an offer and a negotiation. If it had been just a simple offer that was not referred to again after my initial “no,” I wouldn’t have been put-off. 

[parkneedler]

And for the record, this is New York. I’m not saying I’m a casanova, I just genuinely think it’s easy for most people to find free play here relatively easily. If this had happened in a place like Bloomington, Indiana I would’ve been less surprised. 

[la_connor]

12 hours ago, parkneedler said:

I just can’t imagine taking him up on it, and to have the confidence to be annoyed is crazy when I was already just tolerating him, his lack of shape, and his energy in the massage so far. At least spend the half hour giving me the idea that more fun would actually be… fun?

Real confidence doesn't need external validation. 

[massagefan320]

1 hour ago, parkneedler said:

And for the record, this is New York. I’m not saying I’m a casanova, I just genuinely think it’s easy for most people to find free play here relatively easily. If this had happened in a place like Bloomington, Indiana I would’ve been less surprised. 

You shouldn't assume this for everyone.  From posts on here, many people book from rm for the extras.  The city can be lonely to people (I know, you will say, if you are lonely here, then you will be lonely everywhere...)These masseurs would not be in business if there wasn't that need.

Edited March 4 by massagefan320

[parkneedler]

26 minutes ago, massagefan320 said:

You shouldn't assume this for everyone.  From posts on here, many people book from rm for the extras.  The city can be lonely to people (I know, you will say, if you are lonely here, then you will be lonely everywhere...)These masseurs would not be in business if there wasn't that need.

Sure but the massage is the essential service being requested on rentmass. They’re called extras for a reason. 

[massagefan320]

4 minutes ago, parkneedler said:

Sure but the massage is the essential service being requested on rentmass. They’re called extras for a reason. 

Not to some posters and people who have private messaged me over the years.

[parkneedler]

17 hours ago, Charlton said:

I agree with your point that, to me, I pay for the massage (and he/mt). Sex I can find elsewhere. Am curious which spas you go to, though - I have the opposite experience, on rmass I get reliably good masseurs and in the spas I tried it’s kind of hit or miss. Or you find someone good then they vanish, or they’re never working when you’re available, etc…

Funnily there is one rentmass guy I do like and I’m having a hell of time scheduling with him

[ReynST]

I'd recommend limiting your search to those who are actually certified massage therapists.

The great things about providers is they can potentially provide a much better experience and even a better massage than someone at a parlor. Massage regulations are somewhat strict especially regarding clothing and draping and can impede technique and innovation.  (Ie. combining Thai with other modalities etc)

Booking a certified therapist ensures at the very least, they know what they're doing and can provide as good as a parlor massage with extras.

It is also okay to ask what all the sensual/erotic options are beforehand and make clear what you want and might be open to.

[+ KensingtonHomo]

I have never once said yes to an upsell. And I do not repeat with any provider who does it. 

I have noticed @parkneedler that guys who upsell tend to have bad skills. In my experience, they're usually very conventionally "hot" and act like they're doing you a favor. It's a complete turn off.