New provider go to lengths via chat to ask what makes me hot

[OneTaoBoy]

I hired a guy through RM who, because we missed a first meeting through travel complications, I ended up chatting with several days about eventually meeting.  During this time, he flirted in a sweet enough way, and asked me details about what I would really like. Pretty new to me. His response was great, and included a snap of his hard dick through sweatpants after reading what I wrote.  All good. 

We met for most of a day. His body was amazing and he had lots of top-in-his-young-prime energy. What he really wanted [needed?] to do was cram his good-sized dick down to my softpalate, and plow butt hard til he was finished. After having told him eariler, explicitly, the kind of touch I wanted, he ended up demanding [not in a scary way, for me: I am a good-sized older man] to know "why you no touch yourself?" "how come you no come?"  As if we hadn't exchanged intimate preferences. He had said earlier something about how the 'language of love' takes care of things. If guess, if you speak it....

How do you know if someone who sounds like they're speaking the language of love actually can feel and perform it in his body? Are there little signs of openness one can look for?

I know--a leading and stupid question in a marketplace experience business.

I'm much the novice [not the first time hiring, though] and though I did get fucked, it wasn't enough. Certainly not for the money spent.

Friendly advice for a future hire?

 

 

[Thelatin]

1 hour ago, OneTaoBoy said:

Friendly advice for a future hire?

You can either make yourself more attractive.  Or hire less attractive providers.   They can only pretend so much. 
 

[+ DrownedBoy]

3 hours ago, OneTaoBoy said:

"why you no touch yourself?" "how come you no come?" 

If you want someone who speaks the language of love in an understandable way, try an English speaker.

Edited June 2, 2024 by DrownedBoy

[Jason Dutch]

There's something intriguing here for sure but frankly I'm having a really hard time following the story at all... you don't explain what was or wasn't said, nor what did or didn't happen, or exactly what made them so different or unsatisfying...?

If I'm interpreting it right, though, you're saying he talked a great game over text, but when you met up, he did not behave in line with what you expected and the skill/chemistry was not there in person... And you're asking if there's a way to tell if someone is going to be as enticing and attuned to your needs IRL as they seem during the prelude.

Sucks what happened to you and I don't think it's unusual to try to figure out ways of preventing disappointments or unexpected mismatches like this. Uncomfortable, expensive, and confusing is not the experience anyone wants going into meeting a provider (or, from our end, a client), or even a hook up, date, acquaintance, whatever. For me personally, excessive (and especially impatient) texting habits are a huge red flag for me. Frequently acts as some sort of cover, or overcompensation or anxiety of some kind that becomes clearer down the line.. However, I've noticed generally that many many people under 30 are much more comfortable and confident in themselves when they are mediated through texting, social media platforms, etc. and then come off as shy, awkward, or tactless in person, especially a first meeting... So maybe try not to get too caught up in their deft messaging skills. One solution would be to try to get them to speak on the phone first to get a better sense of their conversational graces, but gooooood luck trying to get a Gen Z anywhere near such a thing.

(Yikes, guess I'm a boomer now haha. To be fair, anyone can turn out to be very different from the image they portray of themselves)

 

 

[soloyo215]

On 6/2/2024 at 2:34 PM, OneTaoBoy said:

I hired a guy through RM who, because we missed a first meeting through travel complications, I ended up chatting with several days about eventually meeting.  During this time, he flirted in a sweet enough way, and asked me details about what I would really like. Pretty new to me. His response was great, and included a snap of his hard dick through sweatpants after reading what I wrote.  All good. 

We met for most of a day. His body was amazing and he had lots of top-in-his-young-prime energy. What he really wanted [needed?] to do was cram his good-sized dick down to my softpalate, and plow butt hard til he was finished. After having told him eariler, explicitly, the kind of touch I wanted, he ended up demanding [not in a scary way, for me: I am a good-sized older man] to know "why you no touch yourself?" "how come you no come?"  As if we hadn't exchanged intimate preferences. He had said earlier something about how the 'language of love' takes care of things. If guess, if you speak it....

How do you know if someone who sounds like they're speaking the language of love actually can feel and perform it in his body? Are there little signs of openness one can look for?

I know--a leading and stupid question in a marketplace experience business.

I'm much the novice [not the first time hiring, though] and though I did get fucked, it wasn't enough. Certainly not for the money spent.

Friendly advice for a future hire?

 

 

I'm not completely sure what you or him mean by "the language of love". Sounds like an euphemism for horniness taking over, which might mean that certain previously established boundaries might be crossed out of excitement. At least that's how I interpret it. Hence, the questions.

Just my thoughts.

[OneTaoBoy]

I don't think I would ever use "the language of love", as if a desired physical touch is universally understood. He used the term. I think when he used the words they meant: "I'm a stud and I'll take care of all that for you." 

As rank novice in this game, I hoped all that was true. 

 

[+ APPLE1]

11 hours ago, OneTaoBoy said:

I don't think I would ever use "the language of love", as if a desired physical touch is universally understood. He used the term. I think when he used the words they meant: "I'm a stud and I'll take care of all that for you." 

As rank novice in this game, I hoped all that was true. 

 

1) I think I would have been happy I was texting with him at that point. In person, I probably would have blurted out "what the fuck does that mean?"

2) My written response would likely have been, "I am looking for a session that consists of . . ."

Edited June 8, 2024 by APPLE1

[OneTaoBoy]

I appreciate seeing how you would have handled this. Not only am I old for novice in renting, but also feeling newly and freely expressive with men. Long history of very rough treatment by a female caretaker and loads of inner work.

I'd never flirted with any guy--and the fact that he is killer handsome and very powerfully built made it more fun for me. I was happy we were texting. I did explicitly say what I wanted, and his response about love language was after that. There was a language barrier. We both thought we spoke a shared European language other than our languages of origin. I think one did better than the other. 🤔

My take now is that this guy is a swell guy with a lot invested emotionally and physically in being a top, with some gay porn-inflected moves that are considered pleasing for bottoms. I am most certainly bi, and not a gay bottom. Those moves are too much like being used for someone else's pleasure. I didn't hate obliging the guy, but I had clearly indicated via text the touch and moves I wanted. And the money I spent was for a fantasized pleasure for me. 

I regret that it didn't work out that, while on the trip during which we met, I didn't have several shorter sessions with him instead of a long one. I think we would have worked things out.

[+ KensingtonHomo]

27 minutes ago, OneTaoBoy said:

My take now is that this guy is a swell guy with a lot invested emotionally and physically in being a top, with some gay porn-inflected moves that are considered pleasing for bottoms. I am most certainly bi, and not a gay bottom.

Some bi guys enjoy being sub-bottoms. Some fully gay guys like to bottom but not feel used or like an object (me, for instance). I do think that porn has led lots of poeple to think they know what tops or bottoms (or heteros) want. 

But, particularly when having a first-time sexual encounter, communication before and during is key. You mention a language barrier, which probably made things trickier but if you're not enjoying yourself during an encounter you need to speak up then. It's easier said than done but it's important. 

[OneTaoBoy]

Thanks for the advice about speaking up. I did, but because the guy was so much younger and [I could feel eager to please in his own way as a top driver] determined, I said something about waiting until after he got what he wanted we could do things differently. But he kind of has the one driving approach. So, language barrier, age and cultural difference, my inexperience, whatever. I agree about the importance of speaking up, trust me on that.