What does Erotic Massage Include

[acaressandakiss]

I’ll be traveling to NYC this weekend and I’m considering hiring a masseur. When a masseur says they offer erotic massage what exactly does that include? Does the erotic services vary individually by provider?

[+ Vegas_Millennial]

23 minutes ago, acaressandakiss said:

I’ll be traveling to NYC this weekend and I’m considering hiring a masseur. When a masseur says they offer erotic massage what exactly does that include? Does the erotic services vary individually by provider?

There is a very simple and universally understood answer to that question.  It can be found here:

 

And here:

 

 

Edited March 26 by Vegas_Millennial

[56harrisond]

 

[maninsoma]

This topic has come up many times.  The real answer is that there is no "agreed upon" or standard definition.  If you want to know more about what a specific masseur offers, you need to ask him  and/or check what his clients have had to say about him.

[+ Vegas_Millennial]

56 minutes ago, acaressandakiss said:

Does the erotic services vary individually by provider?

Yes

[Jamie21]

Yes this is highly regulated. The Association for Sexwork Knowledge (ASK) has a pamphlet that stipulates the exact content of an erotic massage.

The pamphlet describes that all erotic massages must include at least 3 touches of the client’s genitals (and the final or 3rd touch has to keep hold until the client climaxes or the time runs out). A minimum of one nipple must be tweaked and at least one ball gently cupped or caressed. If the client has a non standard number of nipples or balls the masseur has to ensure that 50% of the total ball / nipples available have to be touched. 

Clients with a preference for bum work should indicate this either verbally or by parting their legs wider than table width. If the client does this then the pamphlet requires that the masseur insert a lubed finger (spit acceptable if no lube is available) past the first knuckle. 

The pamphlet is called Hire for Intimate Massage. In short it’s the ASK HIM document 😉

 

[marylander1940]

18 minutes ago, maninsoma said:

This topic has come up many times.  The real answer is that there is no "agreed upon" or standard definition.  If you want to know more about what a specific masseur offers, you need to ask him  and/or check what his clients have had to say about him.

In some cases also depends on how doable the client looks. 

Not everyone gets special treatment. 

Edited March 26 by marylander1940

[marylander1940]

41 minutes ago, Vegas_Millennial said:

There is a very simple and universally understood answer to that question.  It can be found here:

 

And here:

 

 

Yes, just like Uber and so many others.

Maybe the mgt should automatically combine threads like this one about zombie subjects. 

[Wanderoz]

Hence, YMMV!

[DunwoodyGuy]

It means you should be clear in advance what your hopes and expectations are, because chances are the masseur defines "erotic" differently than you do.

[Ali Gator]

I have had erotic massages that I would define as sensual (very little MT if any, massaging my genitals but no HE) to 'full service' (whatever 'service' I wanted from the masseur, he was open to providing).  So the definition is not really defined by the client or any website - it's defined by the provider himself.  Ask him up front what 'erotic' entails vs 'sensual'. 

A little side note:  About twenty years ago I bought window blinds from Home Depot, with a 'lifetime guarantee' for free repairs or replacement. Within two years, one of the window blinds were not working properly, so I called their service department (with all my documentation in hand) and asked for a service rep to come out to my home to repair or replace - for free. They told me my 'lifetime' guarantee expired - they defined 'lifetime' as 12 months. So they were really offering a one-year guarantee on their product, but falsely advertising it as 'lifetime'. 

 

After hanging up from them, I called the consumer division of my state AG's office. I provided them with all my receipts and paper work guaranteeing me the 'lifetime warranty'.  They quickly resoved this with Home Depot for me - and let them know they can't advertise 'lifetime guarantee' in our state if it's only for 12 months. 

[Rod Hagen]

1 hour ago, DunwoodyGuy said:

It means you should be clear in advance what your hopes and expectations are, because chances are the masseur defines "erotic" differently than you do.

Mike drop! :-)

[Marc in Calif]

2 hours ago, Rod Hagen said:

Mike drop! 🙂

Who's "Mike" and why did you just drop him? 😁

[dutchal]

Here's one masseur's recent blog entry on the distinction:

https://rentmasseur.com/GiovanniSF#stream

As you can see, it's very much his own definition, and no two masseurs might make the exact same distinction.

[Zimby]

If you see a provider offering both sensual and erotic... ASK THEM WHAT THEIR DIFFERENCE IS.

You can't beat communication with your provider.  This should happen when booking for your best results. 

When you meet your provider, most will spend a minute or 2 to welcome you... feel free to recap what you discussed... also, besides telling them what or how you like things, tell them also what you don't care for (too much chat, heavy pressure in a certain area,,, whatever). A good provider would appreciate the information.  Clearer expectations also help the client relax and enjoy the massage.. instead of laying there trying to interpret every touch for a possible opening or "wait.. he just grazed my genitals... i wonder if I can now touch his?"

 

[RugbyBen]

As everyone says there's no standard definitions and it does vary by masseur.

Personally for sensual I'd expect to be naked and undraped and there was a HE.

For erotic I'd expect mutual nudity and mutual touch plus a HE as a minimum. 

I'd say broadly most massages I've had under those categories met those expectations. 

Sometimes they don't but then sometimes they go much further than you expect which are always the most memorable!

Worth noting I'm in the UK and I do get the impression masseurs here can be more upfront. Often when I reach out to a masseur i get sent a menu of options and price ranges by UK based masseurs. Had that the other day and all I'd done is look at his rentmasseur profile. 

Edited March 28 by RugbyBen

[Massageislife]

Words have meaning, and I think most clients and providers share a basic understanding of the terms therapeutic (non-sexual, masseur probably trained), sensual (not necessarily trained and primarily designed for giving pleasure), and erotic (masseur naked, MT, and HE). Prices reflect these differences, and ads support these definitions.

I love it when a masseur, on their own, describes their services in their initial communications with me (I’m generally only looking for erotic massage.), but it’s not necessary: they are telling me in their ad (with the text, with me photos, with the price) what I can anticipate. I never ask explicitly for details of what they will provide in advance. Private massage is wrongly existing in a legally marginal zone, so I don’t find these questions appropriate. On rare occasions I’ve gotten something different than was advertised—almost always MORE than what was advertised—but that’s just the occasional “bad” service that one sometimes gets in any profession. 

I go to this forum to learn from my brothers, not to hear truisms like  “everybody is different” or “depends on the person” or most useless of all: “YMMV.” How do those things help?

[pubic_assistance]

As everyone has stated there is NO exact definition.

But

I would say that an "erotic"massage SHOULD at minimum involve a sexually titillating experience, where the masseur arouses the client.

But

At that point what varies drastically is what happens after you're aroused.

Some will include a completion and others will negotiate for an additional fee.

And sadly some will leave you with blue balls.

Yes. It's good to discuss up front...but I actually prefer to leave it to fate and if I am impressed I will return. If not...I pay the fee requested, include nothing more and move on.

[BaronArtz]

1 minute ago, pubic_assistance said:

 

Yes. It's good to discuss up front...but I actually prefer to leave it to fate and if I am impressed I will return. If not...I pay the fee requested, include nothing more and move on.

I agree with that.  I simply request sensual massages and leave it up to the masseur to surprise me.  It has worked very well.  Although it is not requirement, I love it when a masseur also has an escort ad because I feel that he is OK with a broader range of activities.  However, when a massage experience spontaneously becomes an escort experience - which I define a penetrative sex - I do pay an escort rate.  I don't expect an escort experience at massage rates.

[marylander1940]

10 minutes ago, pubic_assistance said:

As everyone has stated there is NO exact definition.

But

I would say that an "erotic"massage SHOULD at minimum involve a sexually titillating experience, where the masseur arouses the client.

But

At that point what varies drastically is what happens after you're aroused.

Some will include a completion and others will negotiate for an additional fee.

And sadly some will leave you with blue balls.

Yes. It's good to discuss up front...but I actually prefer to leave it to fate and if I am impressed I will return. If not...I pay the fee requested, include nothing more and move on.

Agreed but it should be an additional fee because sex for money is escorting, not massage. 

if not everyone would hire a masseur for 200 and fuck him/get fucked by him after the 90 minutes all included. I'm aware some might do it based on how surprisingly doable the client looks but that's not the usual "modus operandi" and not all clients should expect that. 

[CuriousByNature]

18 hours ago, Marc in Calif said:

Who's "Mike" and why did you just drop him? 😁

After being dropped Mike is sore and needs a massage.

[+ Vegas_Millennial]

On 3/26/2024 at 12:20 PM, acaressandakiss said:

I’ll be traveling to NYC this weekend and I’m considering hiring a masseur. When a masseur says they offer erotic massage what exactly does that include? Does the erotic services vary individually by provider?

You should find that the spectrum of massages offered by masseurs in New York City is not radically different from the massages offered by masseurs in your hometown, wherever that is.

[pubic_assistance]

5 hours ago, BaronArtz said:

However, when a massage experience spontaneously becomes an escort experience - which I define a penetrative sex - I do pay an escort rate.  I don't expect an escort experience at massage rates.

 

4 hours ago, marylander1940 said:

Agreed but it should be an additional fee because sex for money is escorting, not massage. 

if not everyone would hire a masseur for 200 and fuck him/get fucked by him after the 90 minutes all included. I'm aware some might do it based on how surprisingly doable the client looks but that's not the usual "modus operandi" and not all clients should expect that. 

 I agree and agree.

Always nice when there's more offered.

If it  does somehow ends up being an escort session at the completion, then it's due more than just a "tip".

I pay what a normal escort fee would include. Sometimes this is negotiated and sometimes it's left up to me to be a gentleman. But unless I'm traveling or visiting someone from out of town. I tend to keep a regular relationship with a good masseur who is sexually compatible too. So I would naturally be generous to keep my provider happy to return.

Edited March 28 by pubic_assistance
grammar