Having masseur finish on your body or face

[pubic_assistance]

3 hours ago, SouthOfTheBorder said:

I don’t get the fascination with it, but I know it’s common.

Easy to explain:

It's fulfills the fantasy that your partner is actually into it.

I remember a straight friend of mine, told me he used to let old gay men suck him off when he was a teenager so he could buy drugs...I asked him what he was thinking about to get hard with a man. He said: "obviously I was thinking about that $50 bucks."

[JamesB]

4 hours ago, Jamie21 said:

Sounds like you do!  I’m avoiding 5 or 6 per day because well, I don’t get that many clients asking in the first place! …but even if I did I wouldn’t book that many. The physical stamina aspect is part of the reason although I swim and run distances so I probably have that kind of stamina for it but it’s the mental and emotional energy that I need to be aware of. 

I try to get into a state of flow when massaging, so that I’m doing it without consciously thinking. It’s difficult to do that and I don’t always succeed. However when fully in that state I’m acutely aware of the person I’m massaging: I can hear their breathing, feel their heartbeat, feel their temperature changes, see the slightest change in how they react to touch on different parts of their body. I think it makes for a much more intense experience for the client.

On the surface of it I’m just working their muscles in a normal massage way but that’s only a small part of it. At the deeper level I’m working their whole body including their mind. If I’m in a proper state of flow then it’s as if we are not two bodies any more, we are one body and I feel what they feel, and I can sense what their state of mind is. The energy that takes is massive.

I think this kind of massage is more of an eastern philosophy of massage than the western one. If I tried to do more than 3 a day I’d not be able to do my style of massage. 

I guess I don't have a choice. I need to fly to London. 

[pubic_assistance]

21 hours ago, Your Man in Arlington said:

As I said, why not both?

Because I'm PAYING

This isn't a 'date' where I'm working to please my partner. I'm slapping down some cash to be serviced WITHOUT the worry of my partners orgasm.

[Your Man in Arlington]

4 minutes ago, pubic_assistance said:

Because I'm PAYING

This isn't a 'date' where I'm working to please my partner. I'm slapping down some cash to be serviced WITHOUT the worry of my partners orgasm.

I get that's not what YOU want, but fortunately there is a range of providers, both escort and massage, and hopefully everyone can find what they are looking for.

And, I actually wasn't worried about his orgasm, just enjoying the experience as it unfolded, so yeah. 🤷‍♂️

Edited November 11, 2023 by Your Man in Arlington

[SouthOfTheBorder]

53 minutes ago, pubic_assistance said:

It's fulfills the fantasy that your partner is actually into it.

that makes sense completely.  Never really thought about it before.

seems like a self-inflicted mindfuck tho because being desired contradicts the whole idea around paid sex & creates even more chance for disappointment.  if all goes according the script, then maybe it’s all worth it 

also interesting that the providers active on this site mostly say that what the client looks like either way, makes no difference.  

[Your Man in Arlington]

5 minutes ago, SouthOfTheBorder said:

seems like a self-inflicted mindfuck tho because being desired contradicts the whole idea around paid sex & creates even more chance for disappointment.  if all goes according the script, then maybe it’s all worth it 

This is why I never expect it from a provider, but am pleasantly surprised when it's something they want to do as part of our get together.

There are some select few providers who are not sensitive to another guy's appearance, really just love sex, and/or get off on pleasing other guys. It's great to find someone who really loves their job!

[SouthOfTheBorder]

6 hours ago, Jamie21 said:

On the surface of it I’m just working their muscles in a normal massage way but that’s only a small part of it. At the deeper level I’m working their whole body including their mind. If I’m in a proper state of flow then it’s as if we are not two bodies any more, we are one body and I feel what they feel, and I can sense what their state of mind is. The energy that takes is massive

exactly this !!!!

[Jamie21]

1 hour ago, SouthOfTheBorder said:

also interesting that the providers active on this site mostly say that what the client looks like either way, makes no difference.  

That’s right, but what does make a difference is how the client behaves. He could be the perfect physical specimen for me (as in 100% my type) but if he’s an asshole (as in disrespectful, demanding, ignorant) then nothing much will happen and what does might feel stilted. It will still be a great massage etc but that bit ‘extra’ is missing. I think if someone is like that then they probably wouldn’t notice the difference anyway!

Looks are superficial, it might be an initial spur to attraction but behaviour is the key. If the client is respectful etc then I’m into them because they’ve chosen me to be their masseur. I don’t mind what they look like; an attractive personality is by far the greatest turn on. Add the setting of a sensual massage and you have all the ingredients for a great session. 

I agree with @pubic_assistance that some clients want 100% of the focus to be on them. If that’s their thing then that’s what they get. Most guys that do sex work get off on giving. If giving means 100% focus on the client that’s fine. Within the bounds of what you’re prepared to do for the rate etc then ‘giving’ can also include having the client watch or help you to climax. That’s giving too because the client wants it. If the client doesn’t want it or if it’s not in my repertoire then it’s not happening. 
 

[pubic_assistance]

1 hour ago, Jamie21 said:

Most guys that do sex work get off on giving

Most guys who do sex work get off on being worshipped, not "giving". The idea that youre so desireable that somebody will actually PAY you to cum I'm them/on them is a turn on for the provider.

I do believe that MASSEURS are more inclined to the "giving" personality than escorts.

Edited November 11, 2023 by pubic_assistance
spelling

[+ keroscenefire]

I'd say having the guy cum is not even a guarantee for escort services so I rarely expect it from a masseur. 

[CopenhagenGay]

3 hours ago, pubic_assistance said:

Easy to explain:

It's fulfills the fantasy that your partner is actually into it.

There are other reasons as well.

I'm well aware that the providers I meet with all likelihood don't find me particularly physically attractive. I'm 36 and a bit inside the "overweight" BMI category, and - as such - not very attractive to young guys from 18 to their early twenties (who are the guys I'm looking for). Thus, I have to pay to meet them.

So I'm not naïve and I don't make any illusions that the young guys find me particularly attractive - otherwise I wouldn't have had to seek out guys specifically looking for money in exchange for sex (I could meet quite a lot of older guys for free if I wanted to, but sadly for my economy, I don't).

Nevertheless, that doesn't mean I'm indifferent to the young provider ejaculating. On the contrary, it's very much a turn on for me. Both because I find a young guy's cum quite tasty - and because I like the submissive nature of the act of getting cum on my face or in my mouth.

[CopenhagenGay]

I should maybe add that I always pay for an escort service when the provider is getting off as well - I would never expect to receive cum during a massage session.

[Redwine56]

21 hours ago, DunwoodyGuy said:

Okay, well THAT sold me. Now I know what I'm doing on my next trip to London--as soon as I get there!

This @Jamie21gets me all the time with his comments and shared stories.  I keep asking when is he cumming to NYC?  He is truly amazing in so many ways! 😍

[pubic_assistance]

32 minutes ago, Redwine56 said:

He is truly amazing in so many ways! 😍

His stories certainly are.

Why don't you hire him and tell us how much is truth and how much is marketing ? 😉

[Redwine56]

15 minutes ago, pubic_assistance said:

His stories certainly are.

Why don't you hire him and tell us how much is truth and how much is marketing ? 😉

I would in a heartbeat but I'm not planning a trip to London anytime soon.  

Let's count on @DunwoodyGuy to get there before us and bring us some feedback.

[Jamie21]

3 hours ago, Redwine56 said:

This @Jamie21gets me all the time with his comments and shared stories.  I keep asking when is he cumming to NYC?  He is truly amazing in so many ways! 😍

Oh I’ve set some expectation level now haven’t I 😂😂.  Happy to do an outcall to NYC (I fly business class, stay at 4 star hotels. Very reasonable 😉). 

[Jamie21]

2 hours ago, pubic_assistance said:

His stories certainly are.

Why don't you hire him and tell us how much is truth and how much is marketing ? 😉

I’m aware a few guys on here have hired me, but I’m not revealing who because I’m nice and discreet.

[Simon Suraci]

6 hours ago, pubic_assistance said:

Most guys who do sex work get off on being worshipped, not "giving".

I disagree. Providers vary. Masseurs vary. They’re not all good either. The notion that a “giving” oriented provider versus one that prefers to be “worshipped” is also subjective. Some clients actually prefer the latter and seek them out specifically. I argue the majority prefer the former.

IMHO the best masseurs and providers are givers. Giving is not a role, attitude, or a specific act. It’s an orientation and a willingness to please the client, in whatever way that client actually wants (which again, can vary widely). Even being “worshipped” is giving in a way. It’s all relative to what the client wants.

It takes a special person to tune in to the nuanced needs of another and fulfill them to the client’s satisfaction. Especially if the client is not very forthcoming about everything they actually want. We often have to intuit and pivot in the moment. That takes skill, attention, experience, and a lot of awareness.

I believe @Jamie21 truly gets it. The fact that he invests so much emotional energy on each client is telling. Lots of attention and awareness, lots of giving mentality. That’s a good provider in my book.

[JSRCWY]

I’m one of those clients who doesn’t expect the masseur to cum, and it only happened to me once: I was getting a massage from a spectacularly handsome Columbian masseur in Hell’s Kitchen, and well…..one thing led to another, and suddenly I felt a warm splash on my stomach. I was tremendously flattered! LOL

When it comes to massages, I know very well YMMV, so when the massage progresses to anything beyond mutual touch and a happy ending, I’m thrilled because I know it’s “above and beyond.” And I always tip accordingly! 

[Michael PhD]

19 hours ago, Jamie21 said:

I’m aware a few guys on here have hired me, but I’m not revealing who because I’m nice and discreet.

I’m looking forward to the next time we meet. Amazing experience with you. 

[Your Man in Arlington]

1 hour ago, JSRCWY said:

spectacularly handsome Columbian masseur

An emerging trend?

[+ Coolwave35]

20 hours ago, Jamie21 said:

I’m aware a few guys on here have hired me, but I’m not revealing who because I’m nice and discreet.

I’m not. I flew to London last year to meet Jamie and I’m annoyed I only arranged for one session.  His posts are an incredible turn on. He’s every bit the skilled professional we’re led to believe and a man of many talents. I’d kick in for a crowdfunded trip to nyc, or bring him out myself, not share him for a second, but write all about it with pics and videos, though I think that would be the end of me.  Who’s in for a Winter pick me up? 

Edited November 12, 2023 by Coolwave35

[Jamie21]

4 hours ago, Coolwave35 said:

I’m not. I flew to London last year to meet Jamie and I’m annoyed I only arranged for one session.  His posts are an incredible turn on. He’s every bit the skilled professional we’re led to believe and a man of many talents. I’d kick in for a crowdfunded trip to nyc, or bring him out myself, not share him for a second, but write all about it with pics and videos, though I think that would be the end of me.  Who’s in for a Winter pick me up? 

And it was a pleasure to meet you! Thank you 😊

[Zimby]

I think we as gay men think that if another man ejaculates while we are "playing" then he must be into me.... and if he doesn't then he is not.  There is so much more to sex and sexuality then ejaculation.  You have to remember that in massage or escort services, the main goal of the provider should be about them meeting your needs.  There are guys out there who really just enjoy getting other guys off (hand, mouth or whatever) and have no consideration to cum themselves.

 

[starman05]

On 11/11/2023 at 1:12 AM, SouthOfTheBorder said:

I never expect/require an escort to cum.  I don’t get the fascination with it, but I know it’s common. I assume the escorts have other clients and I wouldn’t want to impair their next appointment.  The escorts always seem to surprised that I don’t care.  Some want to cum and of course that’s great.  And I certainly wouldn’t expect a masseur to cum either.  When happy endings for me happen organically in a massage setting, then fine.  

The issue here is many guys really want a discounted rate by booking massage & then expecting escort services.  Of course, totally different if you’re going to a place or person for massage and it is known/accepted that happy endings are part of the deal.  If you’re not sure, then don’t expect it. 

It’s always a mistake to have a preconceived idea/expectation of what is going to happen in an escort/massage situation, unless you have discussed your requirements clearly and the provider has agreed.  This requires very clear communication & that seems to be difficult given the shame around sex, paying for sex and fear of judgement.  If those type conversations are uncomfortable, then it’s a very healthy exercise to work through it - expressing wants & needs clearly is empowering.  

I recently got a new massage therapist, who I see at least once a week. He was a referral from a friend and there was no expectation of any sex.  He’s super hot/sexy, gentle with a firm touch and the movements/strokes feel sensual, but not sexual or erotic. On the table, I usually get turned on and get hard at some point.  And then my mind wanders to other things.  I realized that what I really like with this new guy is the ability to feel completely vulnerable & safe and very intimate all at the same time, without it being sexual. I let him touch me in places (not sexual) that I am too sensitive with others. But, for some reason it’s ok with him.  I absolutely love sex, but sometimes it’s not about sex all the time.

This is how I feel

intimacy and feeling safe are priceless