Top... bottom... side....

[CuriousByNature]

Hello all - probably a stupid question, but what does it mean if someone says they're a side?  I've heard of top and bottom, but is side a position or is it a role?  

Edited October 24, 2023 by CuriousByNature

[Your Man in Arlington]

"Sides, for those who may be unfamiliar, represent the queer men who do not enjoy giving or receiving anal penetration."

More at: https://xtramagazine.com/power/sides-sexual-identity-anal-sex-200790

 

[Jamie21]

I’ve a client who is a side. In his case it literally is that he likes laying alongside and cuddling. Some hand work on his cock but that’s it, no sucking, nothing internal. He likes watching me have sex with other guys, but doesn’t want to participate. 

I think there can be all sorts of reasons for this. Perhaps it’s a fear of catching something, or it’s some past trauma or bad experience of being penetrated. Some guys are very small so it’s difficult for them to top or to get pleasure from it. Sometimes it’s just a fear of things being ‘dirty’. Religious issues or social conditioning can also make some guys rule out penetrative sex. Maybe it’s not gay if they don’t penetrate. All sorts of reasons exist. With my client we don’t explore why, we just accept it and enjoy the time because it does help you to find other ways to be intimate. 
 

[Simon Suraci]

Sides are a minority, but they exist. I have some side clients. Not every man interested sexually and/or romantically in other men wants to have penetrative sex. Often they only like oral play, or sometimes not even that, but find other ways to be intimate and sexual. The reasons for their preferences are both wide and complex. It’s not always about trauma or avoiding STIs. Some just find anal sex to be generally gross.

For some, it’s a practical matter rather than a preference. For example, he can’t bottom, for medical reasons. Or he can’t top, because he is a trans man and doesn’t enjoy strap-on play. Or like Jamie mentioned, his size makes it impractical to penetrate, even if he otherwise would want to.

[DWnyc]

All of the above … and perhaps reserving topping or bottoming for “special” experiences / people - like kissing for some people 

 

[liubit]

Anal sex is definitely NOT important to me, but I do not totally exclude it. I can be anally versatile, with a preference towards bottoming, but what really turns me on and keeps me going is mutual deep kissing, licking, sucking and rimming, rimming, rimming. So, I guess I could label myself as “side-leaning anal versatile”, or “vegetarian but not vegan” 😂😂

[+ DrownedBoy]

As a side, I fall into the "little guy" category. A well-endowed man could split me in half if he pushed hard enough.

I concentrate on oral. I actually prefer smaller, as then I can get brutally face-fucked without any chance of gagging.

Also, I don't deny that I mainly hire for my fetish, which doesn't involve anal penetration. But hard spanking is fine.