Hitting on someone

[Cbilly17]

Any tips on how to hit on someone? I have never hit on a guy in person, so I need some tips on what to look for, where to go (not talking about a bar), etc? What works for you in a non-bar scene?

[Thelatin]

Respectfully - you are starting off by eliminating the main location people tend to go to be hit on.  I’m not a fan of bars either, but bars in higher end hotels are hard to beat.  Folks are typically friendly, you chime in on a conversation, pretty soon everyone is conversing.

[+ DynamicUno]

"There's 206 bones in your body, want one more?"

"Tomorrow there's gonna be only seven planets left, because tonight I'm destroying Uranus."

[TorontoDrew]

3 hours ago, DynamicUno said:

"There's 206 bones in your body, want one more?"

"Tomorrow there's gonna be only seven planets left, because tonight I'm destroying Uranus."

Those would totally work on me. But I'm a slut so any line probably would 😉

[+ friendofsheila]

depends on how you define "hitting on".  (have sex?  start a converstation, something else)

[Cbilly17]

22 minutes ago, friendofsheila said:

depends on how you define "hitting on".  (have sex?  start a converstation, something else)

Conversation, that may lead to something more.

[+ ThroatCummer]

Be nice and respectful. Don't lead with sex but with a solid compliment.  "Wanna have sex" or anything sex related can be a turn off... but the one line that works for me every time is:

"Damn man, you're handsome as hell" 

It shows your intent and your interest. It's a genuine compliment that every guy will take, even the 100% straight ones. It's non-threatening. It just works. 

Try it. 

[+ BenjaminNicholas]

Properly hitting on a guy and having him reciprocate is all about first reading the room. 

Too many gay men pick the wrong time and place to shoot their shot. 

Be respectful. Be honest. Be kind. 

And don't be discouraged if it's a 'thanks, but no thanks.'

[Cbilly17]

On 7/25/2023 at 8:40 AM, ThroatCummer said:

Be nice and respectful. Don't lead with sex but with a solid compliment.  "Wanna have sex" or anything sex related can be a turn off... but the one line that works for me every time is:

"Damn man, you're handsome as hell" 

It shows your intent and your interest. It's a genuine compliment that every guy will take, even the 100% straight ones. It's non-threatening. It just works. 

Try it. 

Thank you, great idea!

[+ ThroatCummer]

19 minutes ago, Cbilly17 said:

Thank you, great idea!

You’re very welcome. You’re not gonna succeed 100% of the time. Fact, you will strike out nine times out of 10 but if you do it to people you really like it that are really handsome. You will hit a home run one of those times and you will get a phone number and a hook up out of it, so do this reply back to this thread once you tried it 10 times and let us know how the hook up was I’m that confident it works.

[MikeBiDude]

On 7/25/2023 at 12:29 PM, BenjaminNicholas said:

Properly hitting on a guy and having him reciprocate is all about first reading the room. 

Or the hot tub! 

[kingsley88]

I agree you won't succeed every time. Getting a read of the room will only come with experience.

In a non-bar setting, some guys might think you're a creep depending on the way you hit on them. Just be self-aware.  

[Cbilly17]

9 minutes ago, kingsley88 said:

I agree you won't succeed every time. Getting a read of the room will only come with experience.

In a non-bar setting, some guys might think you're a creep depending on the way you hit on them. Just be self-aware.  

I definitely won’t start strong. I’ll keep my opening line very light.

[wsc]

49 minutes ago, kingsley88 said:

I agree you won't succeed every time. Getting a read of the room will only come with experience.

In a non-bar setting, some guys might think you're a creep depending on the way you hit on them. Just be self-aware.  

Also, to avoid spooking the prey, you should remain fully clothed throughout the conversation.

[CuriousByNature]

24 minutes ago, wsc said:

Also, to avoid spooking the prey, you should remain fully clothed throughout the conversation.

Does that mean I shouldn't remove the paper bag I normally wear over my head when I leave the house?

[TonyDown]

On 7/24/2023 at 4:39 AM, Cbilly17 said:

Any tips on how to hit on someone? I have never hit on a guy in person, so I need some tips on what to look for, where to go (not talking about a bar), etc? What works for you in a non-bar scene?

Do you attend gay social clubs? Book clubs?  Church? Softball?  Bowling? Game night? 

Or are you asking about guys you might not know whether gay?

That said,

Try complimenting him e.g. you like their shirt or shoes. 

Show interest in whatever they bring up by responding with a question.  Cultivate a friendly dialogue.

 

[+ purplekow]

In a supermarket one could innocently say, Do you know where the mozzarella is?  and before he answers continue with, I am so tired of take out I thought I would cook but the only thing I know how to cook is veal parmigiana and now Can't find the darn cheese.   Stop and if you get a no or a brief it is in aisle two, then move on to the next guy. Let me ask my wife is a definite no.  However, you may get an answer like, let me show you where it is, or I don't cook either and a conversation is to be had.

Of course your course may differ.  Steak sauce, tortillas, shrimp etc.    

Most important be smiling, be brief and know when to hold em and know when to fold em.  The handsomest dealer does not always have the biggest deck.   

Edited July 28, 2023 by purplekow

[Ali Gator]

7 hours ago, CuriousByNature said:

Does that mean I shouldn't remove the paper bag I normally wear over my head when I leave the house?

Why did my mind go right to Dorothy Zbornack on 'The Golden Girls' ?  😂

[CuriousByNature]

44 minutes ago, Ali Gator said:

Why did my mind go right to Dorothy Zbornack on 'The Golden Girls' ?  😂

I don't know.  She's taller than me, so she has that advantage.  Well maybe no longer..

[+ ThroatCummer]

Awesome thread.  

As far as reading the room and knowing who to approach, that comes with age and experience. I hate to say it but that is no substitute. By my age (I am 46) you still have enough youth and energy and looks to execute and the wisdom and experience to know who to approach and how to do it in a non-threatening way, that I will be honest... my rate is better than 1 in 10. Maybe 1 in 8 or even 1 in 7. But there are so many factors there. My father also had two girlfriends on the side during the time he was married to my mother. That "game" or "charm" is in my genetics. That can even be a factor, who knows? 

For the example about small conversation about the cheese, I approached a guy last night on the beach. He had his motorcycle parked on the street directly in front of him and was sitting on the seawall, alone, looking at the sky, not on the phone, just staring into the night.  It was a warm mid-summer evening and nobody else was around. 

I opened with "nice bike man" 

HIM: "Thanks. I love it" 

ME: "What is it?"

HIM [don't remember his reply, that wasn't what I was after]

ME: "That's awesome. How come you're sitting here alone? Just soaking up the day and night?"

HIM "yea. I just had an argument" [no gender or reference given] "and needed to get out of the house for a while. You?"

ME: "I hear you. I was just hungry and came from the place down the street and I am walking home now. I live right over there" [points] "alone and will be doing the same as you tonight"

... at this point he starts talking about random stuff. It was clear he didn't get my hint or suggestion, and I wanted to get home, so I but my losses. 

Did I strike out? Was this a win or loss?

I don't count it really, because I didn't invest the time to seeing it through to the end of the conversation.  The opening and conversation was there and it flowed. If I had of invested the time to see it through, I would have gotten him to reveal his sexuality at some point and/or proposed an offer he come hang out at my place on the balcony and watch the ocean and night from there and/or that I was gay and had an ex-BF, a current FB, a partner, single, whatever. My point is, I would have changed my responses to mirror his situation in an effort to make him more comfortable in that moment to get what I want out of him. 

His reaction dictates where the "count" above comes from. I hope this all makes sense and ya'll can learn from my random rambling, lol. 

 

Edited July 28, 2023 by ThroatCummer

[+ Coolwave35]

I open with “hello. I have this feeling that I’d like to get to know you. Are you open to a chat?”  That opens the door 80% of the time for me. 

[+ bashful]

I've thought of hitting on some guys at the grocery store, but haven't because I don't trust my gaydar.

[Guest]

The simplest is usually the best (and least threatening). I like "Hi! How's it going?" or "Hey, how are you doing/enjoying yourself?" (especially if at a party). The least threatening way of finding out if he's interested is asking him out for a cup of coffee (I suppose in the UK it'd probably be for a cup of tea) sometime. This way, no one's embarrassed. 

[Lookin]

On 7/28/2023 at 9:30 PM, bashful said:

I've thought of hitting on some guys at the grocery store, but haven't because I don't trust my gaydar.

I may have something bigger in the van, if you'd like to help me look

[+ The Big Guy]

On 7/28/2023 at 3:13 PM, ThroatCummer said:

Awesome thread.  

As far as reading the room and knowing who to approach, that comes with age and experience. I hate to say it but that is no substitute. By my age (I am 46) you still have enough youth and energy and looks to execute and the wisdom and experience to know who to approach and how to do it in a non-threatening way, that I will be honest... my rate is better than 1 in 10. Maybe 1 in 8 or even 1 in 7. But there are so many factors there. My father also had two girlfriends on the side during the time he was married to my mother. That "game" or "charm" is in my genetics. That can even be a factor, who knows? 

For the example about small conversation about the cheese, I approached a guy last night on the beach. He had his motorcycle parked on the street directly in front of him and was sitting on the seawall, alone, looking at the sky, not on the phone, just staring into the night.  It was a warm mid-summer evening and nobody else was around. 

I opened with "nice bike man" 

HIM: "Thanks. I love it" 

ME: "What is it?"

HIM [don't remember his reply, that wasn't what I was after]

ME: "That's awesome. How come you're sitting here alone? Just soaking up the day and night?"

HIM "yea. I just had an argument" [no gender or reference given] "and needed to get out of the house for a while. You?"

ME: "I hear you. I was just hungry and came from the place down the street and I am walking home now. I live right over there" [points] "alone and will be doing the same as you tonight"

... at this point he starts talking about random stuff. It was clear he didn't get my hint or suggestion, and I wanted to get home, so I but my losses. 

Did I strike out? Was this a win or loss?

I don't count it really, because I didn't invest the time to seeing it through to the end of the conversation.  The opening and conversation was there and it flowed. If I had of invested the time to see it through, I would have gotten him to reveal his sexuality at some point and/or proposed an offer he come hang out at my place on the balcony and watch the ocean and night from there and/or that I was gay and had an ex-BF, a current FB, a partner, single, whatever. My point is, I would have changed my responses to mirror his situation in an effort to make him more comfortable in that moment to get what I want out of him. 

His reaction dictates where the "count" above comes from. I hope this all makes sense and ya'll can learn from my random rambling, lol. 

 

This thread is educational on both sides of the coin.  I look back to when I was young and recall many times being “hit on” and had no clue at the time what was going on.   I wish I knew then what I know now!