$400 is TOO MUCH

[pubic_assistance]

1 hour ago, Jarrod_Uncut said:

“Many clients” do not find payment in advance or a deposit to be considered awkward. I’ve been doing it for years, and to this day. Even the first time newbie clients have no issue and understand it. Clients have even said they agree with the concept of deposit also. 

 

[Simon Suraci]

5 hours ago, Jarrod_Uncut said:

So I told him:

 

@Jarrod_Uncut, Welcome back! The last round of posts were pretty brutal. I don’t blame you for taking a break from the forums.

Here’s my two cents on the above. I don’t expect you to agree with me, or to change your mind or approach. I don’t think I’m ‘right’ either, just different.

I’m learning more and more that clients require quite a bit of handholding. The average COM member is not one of them. Gold stars to the clients who read the ad and tick all the boxes for themselves, but they are the minority, something less than half of all inquiries I receive. I believe the extra effort pays off in the end, drudgery though it may be. Not every client is going to work out, and I’ve found peace accepting that and moving on, while continuing to handhold the next one regardless of whether they work out either.

Many of my clients have commented on how appreciative they were that I spent the extra time and effort to earn their trust and business. I agree it’s annoying that clients can’t be bothered to read the ad, but I’ve accepted that handholding is a necessary part of my strategy. That is, if my strategy aim is to have more clients overall. I can certainly spend less time and effort only accepting the clients who are with the program from the get-go, but my strategy is to balance quantity of clients with heavier investment in each of them. Your strategy I might consider to be lower upfront investment, but fewer (and perhaps better, easier) clients to deal with.

This is where I think our approaches differ; being willing to meet the client where they are, figuratively speaking. Responding that the client is lazy (which is entirely true, btw) is off-putting. I wouldn’t want to hire someone that spoke to me that way. It’s rude. I’m not here to defend bad client behavior or tell you how to run your business, but I do want to point out how different approaches might yield different results. Knowing how you are, unsolicited suggestions won’t change anything about how you operate. That’s fine, and it’s not my aim. I still think the conversation is useful to have, if not for you and me, for the other members reading.

Maybe you’re not willing to deal with clients who don’t read the ad. That’s fine. I get it. I don’t enjoy spending extra time typing out all the info (or copying-pasting), but I know doing this has gained me a great many clients I wouldn’t otherwise have. Many of them are regulars, so the upfront investment pays off over time. For me, it’s worth it. Maybe for you, it’s not. In either of our cases, a rude comment won’t do us any favors. That invites clients to lash back out at us, which leads us to the client calling you a hooker…that was uncalled for.

A different approach, one I believe is closer to yours, might be to only deal with the clients who get it, and dismiss the remainder. Honestly, I think that’s a valid approach. You waste so much less of your time and energy that way. As long as you’re happy with the number and types of clients you have, go for it. You can’t complain about having too few clients though. The point is to have better, but fewer clients. Why not? Nothing wrong with being choosy about who you engage with, regardless of how rude or polite your responses are. It’s just a different strategy. Rudeness, however, I believe gets us nowhere, no matter what your strategy.

I’m not perfect. Occasionally I lash out with a sassy or mean comment too. I regret when I do, and usually relent. This one below from today is me feeling pissy because I hate missing out on work. Clients like this require me to be immediately available to respond to a text, otherwise I don’t get the job. When I’m working at the time they text, I can’t possibly respond right away…and it’s not my fault; it’s poor client planning and zero client patience. I can’t control the fact that the client is only willing to book “whoever responds first” in less than an hour. (i.e. multiple provider requests = time waster client). That’s bullshit, but I’ll table that for another topic. Here’s the text with the client, whom I’ve seen before:

Who else loves DARK MODE ❤️ ?

[Jarrod_Uncut]

3 hours ago, Simon Suraci said:

@Jarrod_Uncut, Welcome back! The last round of posts were pretty brutal. I don’t blame you for taking a break from the forums.

Here’s my two cents on the above. I don’t expect you to agree with me, or to change your mind or approach. I don’t think I’m ‘right’ either, just different.

I’m learning more and more that clients require quite a bit of handholding. The average COM member is not one of them. Gold stars to the clients who read the ad and tick all the boxes for themselves, but they are the minority, something less than half of all inquiries I receive. I believe the extra effort pays off in the end, drudgery though it may be. Not every client is going to work out, and I’ve found peace accepting that and moving on, while continuing to handhold the next one regardless of whether they work out either.

Many of my clients have commented on how appreciative they were that I spent the extra time and effort to earn their trust and business. I agree it’s annoying that clients can’t be bothered to read the ad, but I’ve accepted that handholding is a necessary part of my strategy. That is, if my strategy aim is to have more clients overall. I can certainly spend less time and effort only accepting the clients who are with the program from the get-go, but my strategy is to balance quantity of clients with heavier investment in each of them. Your strategy I might consider to be lower upfront investment, but fewer (and perhaps better, easier) clients to deal with.

This is where I think our approaches differ; being willing to meet the client where they are, figuratively speaking. Responding that the client is lazy (which is entirely true, btw) is off-putting. I wouldn’t want to hire someone that spoke to me that way. It’s rude. I’m not here to defend bad client behavior or tell you how to run your business, but I do want to point out how different approaches might yield different results. Knowing how you are, unsolicited suggestions won’t change anything about how you operate. That’s fine, and it’s not my aim. I still think the conversation is useful to have, if not for you and me, for the other members reading.

Maybe you’re not willing to deal with clients who don’t read the ad. That’s fine. I get it. I don’t enjoy spending extra time typing out all the info (or copying-pasting), but I know doing this has gained me a great many clients I wouldn’t otherwise have. Many of them are regulars, so the upfront investment pays off over time. For me, it’s worth it. Maybe for you, it’s not. In either of our cases, a rude comment won’t do us any favors. That invites clients to lash back out at us, which leads us to the client calling you a hooker…that was uncalled for.

A different approach, one I believe is closer to yours, might be to only deal with the clients who get it, and dismiss the remainder. Honestly, I think that’s a valid approach. You waste so much less of your time and energy that way. As long as you’re happy with the number and types of clients you have, go for it. You can’t complain about having too few clients though. The point is to have better, but fewer clients. Why not? Nothing wrong with being choosy about who you engage with, regardless of how rude or polite your responses are. It’s just a different strategy. Rudeness, however, I believe gets us nowhere, no matter what your strategy.

I’m not perfect. Occasionally I lash out with a sassy or mean comment too. I regret when I do, and usually relent. This one below from today is me feeling pissy because I hate missing out on work. Clients like this require me to be immediately available to respond to a text, otherwise I don’t get the job. When I’m working at the time they text, I can’t possibly respond right away…and it’s not my fault; it’s poor client planning and zero client patience. I can’t control the fact that the client is only willing to book “whoever responds first” in less than an hour. (i.e. multiple provider requests = time waster client). That’s bullshit, but I’ll table that for another topic. Here’s the text with the client, whom I’ve seen before:

Who else loves DARK MODE ❤️ ?

I don’t disagree with you at all, and I’m glad you’re able to see both sides and relate. In the case of that particular person, I admit: I started off wrong from the get go by not following my own rules. A typical text goes something like this (and I don’t mind sharing game because the more people who adopt it, I think it will normalize conversations beyond “hi” and “yes I’m available ” and “rate?” and “400” which ultimately leads to: “that’s too much“.) How can they or I know what is too much, when nothing has been assessed? You want my rate for? An hour, 2 hours, overnight? Why not start the conversation by giving me something to work with:

“Hi and welcome, I’m Jarrod. For your 1st contact, can you include some more details:

Name/Age:

City You’re In:

Yours or My Place:

Website Seen On:

Also please confirm you have visited my site rates and details:

www.xxx.com/appointments”

Now I don’t normally go the route I did, but he came at me sideways and that created the fallout. All I asked is whether he read the ad. To get an attitude and make it seem like referring him to a menu is hard work, was uncalled for. 
 

A couple days after that message (this was like last month but I saved it to send to RentMen and tell them why it’s still a problem that they aren’t allowing us to put any sort of rate structure up, even if it’s something innocuous like “porn star travel fee”.), I had an epiphany: anybody who sits around and argues or demeans an escort online just because they don’t get it “their way”, is sad. And I feel bad for them that they have to do that to make themselves feel good. It’s not worth the time or energy. And I had like 2 clients do that around that time. Telling me I’m making it “too hard” to book. Meanwhile, clients all around are doing it with no trouble. So what’s the issue? It takes 5 minutes to answer a couple questions and send a deposit, 15 minutes if need to look at reviews and website. 
 

So yeah, I just had a moment in that instance and popped off. I shouldn’t have even responded considering it annoyed me from the get go. However, I found from an old number that I met with this person before, and I was holding his hand back then and he came at me. Sideways. So it’s like, some people don’t ever change…

 

As much as I understand valuing clients: some people don’t need to be allowed additional chances to be an asshole. I’ve had this issue with clients in my area, regulars who give good money, but then show their asses every other time it’s time to book an appointment. It’s too much emotional labor dealing with them. Booking appointment doesn’t need to be a power struggle. You’re walking into someone’s (hypothetical) office, and trying to boss them around is not going to earn points.

And I’ve learned that as a customer myself. Especially as a customer of color. People have talked rudely towards me more times than I can count. They’ll get attitude that I ask a question, or have a need, or especially if I ever say, “I’m going out of town tomorrow” like many clients do when trying to book a same day appointment. if they say, “come back tomorrow and we’ll help you out”. One employee I said that to, and he’s like: well why don’t you go to any of the other stores down the street and see if they can help you” in an annoyed tone.

 

Even the client who contacted you: I wouldn’t deal with him again and I probably would have said something, or nothing. That’s an unreliable client who will keep doing the same shit until you pop off 🌋 on him. 

Edited June 18, 2023 by Jarrod_Uncut

[edinbrooklyn]

On 5/21/2023 at 5:52 PM, Milo Janus said:

If you're a lawyer or a Doctor, I'm sure $400 is not a problem.  But for average Joes, this is simply highway robbery!!  There has to be a line of demarcation when enough is enough, and I say that is $300.  I get the old supply and demand side of economics, but there must be common sense.  It's just buggery, not creating new art or writing a play.  My solution (tongue and cheek, so to speak) is that customers form a union and demand LOWER fees, or we go on strike!

But seriously, guys, $300 is more than enough.

Talk to your congressperson.

[mike carey]

10 hours ago, Simon Suraci said:

I agree it’s annoying that clients can’t be bothered to read the ad, but I’ve accepted that handholding is a necessary part of my strategy.

Perhaps this is a blinding glimpse of the obvious, but it occurs to me that in the current state of the capitalist economy we don't view any advertisement as being to convey, you know, actual information on which to base a purchase but rather as bait for us to engage and find out whether that product suits us. So even when an ad contains all the information we realistically need, we subconsciously assume it is just the advertiser's opening gambit. Maybe we see name recognition as the sole purpose of an ad. There could be more to it than the client being lazy, or couldn't be bothered. Doesn't make it less annoying, though!