Online/Social Media Behavior vs IRL (in real life)

[SouthOfTheBorder]

is there a big difference between online behavior/etiquette vs IRL ?  Are you aware of your own behavioral differences, if any ?

I don’t participate in any social media, except for here.  Previously had Twitter but deleted when Musk got involved and should have done it months before that.  Aside from the time wasted, it just seemed so toxic - feels much better without that negative energy.  

I found some of my own behavior was different online and I didn’t much like it. Curious if others have noticed the same ?

[+ DynamicUno]

I think most people behave differently online vs in person, even if they don't mean to.  People adapt to the tone and customs of the community they are engaging with, negatively or positively.  This has been true ever since the BBS and Usenet days. 

The only real "innovation" that social media brought was feedback mechanism (i.e. "likes" or "retweets") creating a reward mechanism.  When the reward is based mostly on engagement it leads certain people to learn which emotional buttons to poke to get more responses, good or bad, and their online personas change accordingly.  Sites that had mechanisms to discourage high emotion topics (politics, religion, etc) such as LinkedIn saw less of this kind of behavior.

Personally, I've cut back all usage to only direct contact by messenging.  I don't post, scan the feeds, click on likes, etc.  I also try to keep them from putting notifications on my phone unless it's someone messaging me, but facebook seems to be the worst about finding ways to ignore that.  I've been tempted to remove the app entirely.

 

[pubic_assistance]

On 5/1/2023 at 9:40 AM, SouthOfTheBorder said:

I found some of my own behavior was different online and I didn’t much like it. Curious if others have noticed the same ?

I am just as obnoxious in real life. 😜

[SouthOfTheBorder]

not only so much negativity- but so many consequences.  I read countless stories about people being fired because of social media stuff, spouses catch the other one cheating bc social media contacts, social media stalking & identify theft.  And the list goes on 

I mean - what are the actual benefits (other than feeding narcissists never ending need for recognition) ? I really don’t see it 

[+ José Soplanucas]

4 hours ago, SouthOfTheBorder said:

not only so much negativity- but so many consequences.  I read countless stories about people being fired because of social media stuff, spouses catch the other one cheating bc social media contacts, social media stalking & identify theft.  And the list goes on 

I mean - what are the actual benefits (other than feeding narcissists never ending need for recognition) ? I really don’t see it 

Do you also target real people as you do with forum members, and try to bring drama between communities, as you are doing here? Your middle name seems to be Projection (or Hypocrisy).

[+ José Soplanucas]

On 5/8/2023 at 1:47 PM, pubic_assistance said:

I am just as obnoxious in real life. 😜

You must be my twin soul in Bizarro Universe.

[SouthOfTheBorder]

12 hours ago, José Soplanucas said:

bring drama between communities, as you are doing here?

LOL  - I think you do that all on your own 

I understand the truth is problematic for many here 

I wonder what people do in real-life, when running to mods to censor is not an option ?  probably just stay at the keyboard & in the basement stalking OF, garotocomlocal & similar. Some of you do have that reputation 

Edited July 3, 2023 by SouthOfTheBorder

[+ José Soplanucas]

46 minutes ago, SouthOfTheBorder said:

I understand the truth is problematic for many here

LOL. I forgot you are are a truth-teller.

Get help.

[solacesoul]

36 minutes ago, José Soplanucas said:

LOL. I forgot you are are a truth-teller.

Get help.

I can side with you when you’re right, as you know. Unfortunately, you’ve proven here and other places to be more wrong than right. I think you might want to step back a bit on this one and concede that maybe this is another one of those times that you’ve judged wrong. 

[solacesoul]

On 5/1/2023 at 10:40 AM, SouthOfTheBorder said:

is there a big difference between online behavior/etiquette vs IRL ?  Are you aware of your own behavioral differences, if any ?

I don’t participate in any social media, except for here.  Previously had Twitter but deleted when Musk got involved and should have done it months before that.  Aside from the time wasted, it just seemed so toxic - feels much better without that negative energy.  

I found some of my own behavior was different online and I didn’t much like it. Curious if others have noticed the same ?

I have always been a terrible liar, so I learned early on that for me, honest portrayals are the most cost-efficient and easy-to-remember. I’m pretty much WYSIWYG — for better of for worse, my online persona is who I am offline.

That doesn’t necessarily mean I am an open book to anyone and everyone, online or offline. Not at all, and quite the contrary. What I DO choose to display or reveal, however, is the same as I would be or do offline. 

[SouthOfTheBorder]

1 hour ago, José Soplanucas said:

Get help.

I'm not the stalker - in this scenario & this forum, you've seen the entirety of my actions.  
I have no alternate user names & Im not hiding anything. I'm not harassing or doxxing people offline, I'm not searching through every online sex forum for clues to find people IRL, nor am I a drooling fanboy for pornstars.  
Also have never contacted mods to silence someone or get them banned.

Perhaps you should suggest "help" to the real stalkers here who are known & creep people out IRL.  wonder who that could be ?

or maybe the hypocrites with very short memories who basically facilitated a mental breakdown for sport - now it never happened ? weird how that works 

 

 

Edited July 3, 2023 by SouthOfTheBorder

[+ José Soplanucas]

2 hours ago, solacesoul said:

I can side with you when you’re right, as you know. Unfortunately, you’ve proven here and other places to be more wrong than right. I think you might want to step back a bit on this one and concede that maybe this is another one of those times that you’ve judged wrong. 

Please, tell me where I have judged wrong. 

I understand your beef. You have been banned or suspended (I am unsure) in Gayguides because of Riobard/list of all of his nicknames. I am not defending him, I think he also needs help.

But how would you explain SOB's obsessive opening of threads to go after the unintelligible poster?

[solacesoul]

3 hours ago, José Soplanucas said:

Please, tell me where I have judged wrong. 

I understand your beef. You have been banned or suspended (I am unsure) in Gayguides because of Riobard/list of all of his nicknames. I am not defending him, I think he also needs help.

But how would you explain SOB's obsessive opening of threads to go after the unintelligible poster?

See the post above yours. It requires no further explanation. 

[+ José Soplanucas]

3 hours ago, solacesoul said:

See the post above yours. It requires no further explanation. 

Really? I saw it but it looks like another bunch of shady insinuations plus accusations that you imprinted in his brain. You know, your client/partner is easy to manipulate, Counselor.

I respect your contributions and your knowledge about Brazil, but I do not believe everything you say. You arrogance and pretentiousness make me look like a humble little grasshopper, and often clouds your judgement. I am sorry Riobard inflected you such a deep narcissistic wound.

[solacesoul]

2 hours ago, José Soplanucas said:

I do not believe everything you say.

It’s not up to me to get you to believe anything, nor is it something I even wish to do. As I mentioned before, your past judgment on the boards has shown that you’re more wrong than right. Even admitting this in your own words: “I am often wrong”.

But I challenge you to name even one thing that I have ever posted here or elsewhere, asserted as fact not opinion, that you know to be untrue.

This ought to be quite good. 

[nate_sf]

Moderators' Note: Gentlemen, this is ridiculous. You all clearly have issues with each other, and it just goes round and round. The rest of us don't need to be subjected to this.

Please know that the moderators do not take sides or pick favorites - what I am seeing is a bunch of men behaving badly, with each of you taking turns trying to get a rise out of the others. Settle your differences and take your tea party elsewhere, or the entire class will be sent to detention. Last warning.

[CuriousByNature]

I HOPE I am consistent in how I treat people - whether these are people I know or people who are complete strangers that I will never meet in person.  Therefore I don't think there is much difference in how I interact in person versus online.  But I don't have much in the way of social media, so I am also ignorant of some of the 'best practices' for online interaction.  Admittedly there have been times when I have had to restrain myself from posting angrily or with cruelty, and I need to remind myself to remove the plank from my own eye before I judge the speck of dust in someone else's.  Self-checking tends to take up a lot of my time... hahaha.