Tipping?

[+ Jamie21]

12 minutes ago, SirBillybob said:

Will it be adequately settled before page 5?

It’s tipping … I reckon it has another 8 pages to go. 

[KeepItReal]

22 minutes ago, Jamie21 said:

It’s tipping … I reckon it has another 8 pages to go. 

Like an infinity staircase...it is likely to go nowhere! 😋😋

[JayinHKNYC]

55 minutes ago, KeepItReal said:

Like an infinity staircase...it is likely to go nowhere! 😋😋

Actually, hopefully some people will read the thoughtful responses and learn something from it.

[Hyattsville]

And independent providers who have to cover all of their overhead still have to stay in line with the going market including Massage Envy which undercuts. So they can't just charge whatever they want. But yes, ultimately it is your choice to tip or not - but for god's sake don't get mad at the guys that do. 

[Jiminy]

I once had a masseur who got mad at me for not tipping enough for letting me suck him.

During the session, the topic came up and he agreed if I paid extra. He didn't specify how much. Then at the end of the session I asked him how much he would like for the whole thing, thinking he would take that "extra" into account. He said the amount he quoted me before the session and to give him however generous I felt like. Gave an extra 20 (he didn't cum).

Then after I left, I sent a thank you text, but he replied back saying he felt cheated by the tip I gave him. He said I shoulda tipped at least 60 or something. I then told him that I asked for a specific amount and that he just left it up to my judgment. The amount I gave extra was how generous I was feeling. Mind you the massage was not cheap. In the end, I ended up sending him the rest of what he expected.

Was I being cheap? Possibly. But that's how much I felt the extra was worth. 

It wasn't worth arguing over. I blocked him and moved on.

Edited March 4, 2025 by Jiminy

[d.anders]

29 minutes ago, Jiminy said:

he replied back saying he felt cheated by the tip I gave him.

The dumbest, most stupidest thing he could have done.

30 minutes ago, Jiminy said:

I blocked him and moved on.

And that's what the provider deserves for being so stupid.

[Manhattan]

I have to disagree. The customer is the person who acted poorly in this scenario. 

[+ FrankR]

John Oliver did a piece on tipping on Sunday…link included below since I know you are all craving more on the subject! 

https://youtu.be/89R9ZxKaIOw

[SS1977]

I’m thinking about booking a massage off of rent masseur. The price is $300 for 90 minutes. At this rate is a tip expected? If so how much?

[+ JamesB]

https://www.companyofmen.org/topic/141632-tipping/

[JMS]

I generally tip a minimum of 20%.  However, the few times that I didn't was because massage was subpar. I really think it's entirely up to you.

[Guest MikeThomas]

I think it's important to tip.  Just like other personal services providers, our providers "lose" around 25% of their fees for service to Uncle Sam.

[cg891221]

When I got my first m4m massage, price was 50, i tipped 50, which had a very quick but full full service. repeated once there but i requested just massage, tipped 50. 

After reading some discussion in the forum, i realized that might be good if therapeutic, but not good if its extra extra. But i asked the massuer via message, he said it's ok, i don't know if it's real ok. 

This week i had my third massage, price was 70, i tipped 100, for the hand. I thought it should be fine. 

But now reading this thread, 100 might still sit in the range, but i am afraid if it didn't show my appreciation to him since it's really good. next time i will tip exactly 100%. 

But it total 200 for an hour, i think i will continue, but reduce the frequency a bit. 

[BeefyDude]

I think it's a bit off-putting when you ask what their rate is and they respond "$$ plus tip" - wow that's BOLD to assume you will get one - IMHO

[KeepItReal]

26 minutes ago, BeefyDude said:

I think it's a bit off-putting when you ask what their rate is and they respond "$$ plus tip" - wow that's BOLD to assume you will get one - IMHO

Tipping is a reality in the industry. It doesn't bother me. Upselling does bother me - IMHO it is the bigger annoyance. 

Edited June 29, 2025 by KeepItReal

[BeefyDude]

5 hours ago, KeepItReal said:

Tipping is a reality in the industry. It doesn't bother me. Upselling does bother me - IMHO it is the bigger annoyance. 

No worries.. no right or wrong.  I just think it's BOLD to ask for one up front before you even meet especially if it turns out to be a bad experience.  

I used to be a consistent tipper, but that was pre covid when prices were in the 140-160 range.  Now when its hard to find one under 200 I stopped - my choice/preference

[starman05]

I tipped a guy once on a price that was high but worth it

 

he counted the money in front of me and started to give me the extra back

 

i said that’s a tip 

 

he smiled and said thank you

 

 

[LookingAround]

On 3/4/2025 at 5:18 PM, Jiminy said:

I once had a masseur who got mad ....Was I being cheap? 

Yes. $20.00 is ridiculous. 

[Manhattan]

$20/hr is the average portion of the fee shared with masseurs at NYC mens spas, so $20 should be the baseline tip for a plain old massage. Any service beyond that should be generously acknowledged.   

You cheapskates out there are ruining it for everyone when you get great service and don't tip accordingly. If masseurs expect to get shitty tips, they are forced to negotiate. 

Lead the way, be a gentleman, and tip well. The next customer will reap the benefit and one day that customer might be you!

For private masseurs, there is a different power dynamic since they run their own business and set their own prices. They are also free to decline appointments or refuse clients at any time. 

[viewing ownly]

35 minutes ago, Manhattan said:

 

$20/hr is the average portion of the fee shared with masseurs at NYC mens spas, so $20 should be the baseline tip for a plain old massage. Any service beyond that should be generously acknowledged.   

You cheapskates out there are ruining it for everyone when you get great service and don't tip accordingly. If masseurs expect to get shitty tips, they are forced to negotiate. 

Lead the way, be a gentleman, and tip well. The next customer will reap the benefit and one day that customer might be you!

For private masseurs, there is a different power dynamic since they run their own business and set their own prices. They are also free to decline appointments or refuse clients at any time. 

You will never convince people who never tip to suddenly do so. This is why so many masseurs who used to be $100 now ask for $120 or more - to build in the tip they may not receive. 

I wish the revolt on gratuities would result in paying everyone a decent living wage and end the groveling. I hated working on tips, and so did my co-workers when I would get stiffed making massive payouts. The cute lady may make 2 grand on a big jackpot, but not the ugly old man - the customers don't know or care that tips are shared. It happened so often I'm grateful I quit. (And I did let the door hit me in the ass on the way out).

[Typical]

Independent service providers set the price they require for their services. This is completely different from waiters in a restaurant who are generally paid a below minimum wage because customer tips are assumed.  The comparison is completely absurd. 

I pay the exact asked price if the service is as advertised. If the service is more than advertised, and I actually wanted the enhanced service, I will pay extra (call it a tip if you must).

This policy has worked very well for me for many years.  

[Hyattsville]

Asked my favorite masseur (who charges below market rates for his massages) about tipping and how he views it:

"Tipping is not required but definitely appreciated, I see it as a thank you for a job well done.  I do keep track of who tips and how much. It enters into play only when responding to multiple requests for a specific time, yes the guy who tips will get first chance at a spot. I only get miffed about a non tipper when they have abused my time or gotten a lot more than they paid for. If a client is more than 5 minutes early or 5 minutes late, they should tip. If they use my shower before and/or after a massage they should tip. If it took more than three texts/emails to book an appointment, they should probably tip. I do not charge extra for sensual services like some masseurs so if a client gets anything beyond a legit massage, a tip would be nice, specifically anything more than Hand Job. For instance, if they want me naked, I will not charge for that but am surprised when I don't get a tip for that. Same with Prostate massage, I don't charge more, but would be surprised if I did not get a tip. So let's say a client wants it all, mutual touch, me naked, prostate massage, maybe suck my dick, take a shower.... and they don't tip? They would drop to the bottom of my list for getting back on my table. Not saying it wouldn't happen. If they are a nice person, friendly, etc. they will be fine. If they got everything, didn't tip and were in anyway rude or inconsiderate of my time - then no, I would not let them book again. As far as how much to tip? Well, depends on how much the client received and how difficult they were, sort of a cumulative thing I guess. Hope that helps!"

Edited July 1, 2025 by Hyattsville

[Manhattan]

54 minutes ago, Hyattsville said:

Asked my favorite masseur (who charges below market rates for his massages) about tipping and how he views it:

"Tipping is not required but definitely appreciated, I see it as a thank you for a job well done.  I do keep track of who tips and how much. It enters into play only when responding to multiple requests for a specific time, yes the guy who tips will get first chance at a spot. I only get miffed about a non tipper when they have abused my time or gotten a lot more than they paid for. If a client is more than 5 minutes early or 5 minutes late, they should tip. If they use my shower before and/or after a massage they should tip. If it took more than three texts/emails to book an appointment, they should probably tip. I do not charge extra for sensual services like some masseurs so if a client gets anything beyond a legit massage, a tip would be nice, specifically anything more than Hand Job. For instance, if they want me naked, I will not charge for that but am surprised when I don't get a tip for that. Same with Prostate massage, I don't charge more, but would be surprised if I did not get a tip. So let's say a client wants it all, mutual touch, me naked, prostate massage, maybe suck my dick, take a shower.... and they don't tip? They would drop to the bottom of my list for getting back on my table. Not saying it wouldn't happen. If they are a nice person, friendly, etc. they will be fine. If they got everything, didn't tip and were in anyway rude or inconsiderate of my time - then no, I would not let them book again. As far as how much to tip? Well, depends on how much the client received and how difficult they were, sort of a cumulative thing I guess. Hope that helps!"

That's a complicated system. He should just change his prices to reflect all the ways he is afraid of being underpaid. If he expects money to allow clients to use his shower - put it in the price list. I think a shower should be a standard amenity and it wouldn't occur to me to tip based on that. 

Things are gray and vague already in this line of work, Pros should provide a clear structure so that client can relax and not think about money.

i don't tip my mechanic, or my weed dealer. They work for themselves, they can charge extra for last minute appointments or unusual requests, but they tell me up front. 

[+ JamesB]

2 hours ago, Hyattsville said:

Asked my favorite masseur (who charges below market rates for his massages) about tipping and how he views it:

"Tipping is not required but definitely appreciated, I see it as a thank you for a job well done.  I do keep track of who tips and how much. It enters into play only when responding to multiple requests for a specific time, yes the guy who tips will get first chance at a spot. I only get miffed about a non tipper when they have abused my time or gotten a lot more than they paid for. If a client is more than 5 minutes early or 5 minutes late, they should tip. If they use my shower before and/or after a massage they should tip. If it took more than three texts/emails to book an appointment, they should probably tip. I do not charge extra for sensual services like some masseurs so if a client gets anything beyond a legit massage, a tip would be nice, specifically anything more than Hand Job. For instance, if they want me naked, I will not charge for that but am surprised when I don't get a tip for that. Same with Prostate massage, I don't charge more, but would be surprised if I did not get a tip. So let's say a client wants it all, mutual touch, me naked, prostate massage, maybe suck my dick, take a shower.... and they don't tip? They would drop to the bottom of my list for getting back on my table. Not saying it wouldn't happen. If they are a nice person, friendly, etc. they will be fine. If they got everything, didn't tip and were in anyway rude or inconsiderate of my time - then no, I would not let them book again. As far as how much to tip? Well, depends on how much the client received and how difficult they were, sort of a cumulative thing I guess. Hope that helps!"

 

 I understand wanting to be appreciated, but this feels a bit off to me. The tone comes across as resentful and borderline petty. Tipping should be a gesture of gratitude, not something tied to a mental checklist or used to quietly punish people. Clear communication and fair pricing go a lot further than vague expectations. Just my two cents.

[Hyattsville]

4 hours ago, Manhattan said:

That's a complicated system. He should just change his prices to reflect all the ways he is afraid of being underpaid. If he expects money to allow clients to use his shower - put it in the price list. I think a shower should be a standard amenity and it wouldn't occur to me to tip based on that. 

Things are gray and vague already in this line of work, Pros should provide a clear structure so that client can relax and not think about money.

i don't tip my mechanic, or my weed dealer. They work for themselves, they can charge extra for last minute appointments or unusual requests, but they tell me up front. 

He did say "Tips are not Necessary but appreciated."  Just don't be rude and wasteful of his time and you are fine. However if you are wasteful of his time, then you should offer some recompence. If you don't want to, he is not demanding it, but may not take you as a client. And now you know that maybe a shower isn't a standard amenity when going to a masseur's home. It's not at several massage businesses I go to. 

Maybe you should tip your mechanic, and your weed dealer...