Escorting and political correctness - when do you walk ...

[BuckyXTC]

Sean:

 

From a client's perspective, I admire the decision you made to wrap things up and tell the client you wouldn't be available in the future. If I happened to be with an escort who engaged in regaling me with his racism, I'd bring things to a halt, pronto. Prejudice, bigotry, and other manifestations of ignorance and stupidity don't do much for my libido, or anything else for that matter. It will be interesting to hear from other escorts who've come across this problem.

[BuckyXTC]

Sean:

 

From a client's perspective, I admire the decision you made to wrap things up and tell the client you wouldn't be available in the future. If I happened to be with an escort who engaged in regaling me with his racism, I'd bring things to a halt, pronto. Prejudice, bigotry, and other manifestations of ignorance and stupidity don't do much for my libido, or anything else for that matter. It will be interesting to hear from other escorts who've come across this problem.

[FrancoDiSantisxxx]

The Client Is Always Right

 

I will spare Rick Munroe the LONG answer with a brief one:

 

I do not think I am being hired either for my political perspectives or opinions on social policy. When the subject is raised, I do not refrain from stating my opinions, if asked, but as is the case with most company, politics and religion rarely make for companionable discourse.

 

If the session is just an hour, I generally have a small amount of time for conversation. This is usually chit chat. If it were a longer session and such a topic would raise, I would have tried the same approach you did of changing the topic. I would not have presumed that the client wanted to hire me again, so I would not have mentioned I would be unavailable to him until he attempted to make a second booking. At that time, I would simply state I was unavailable and would continue responding in kind.

[FrancoDiSantisxxx]

The Client Is Always Right

 

I will spare Rick Munroe the LONG answer with a brief one:

 

I do not think I am being hired either for my political perspectives or opinions on social policy. When the subject is raised, I do not refrain from stating my opinions, if asked, but as is the case with most company, politics and religion rarely make for companionable discourse.

 

If the session is just an hour, I generally have a small amount of time for conversation. This is usually chit chat. If it were a longer session and such a topic would raise, I would have tried the same approach you did of changing the topic. I would not have presumed that the client wanted to hire me again, so I would not have mentioned I would be unavailable to him until he attempted to make a second booking. At that time, I would simply state I was unavailable and would continue responding in kind.

[nate_sf]

This has only happened to me a couple of times, but one time was pretty similarly outrageous to your experience and I didn't know how to react either. I don't think the guy meant to be offensive, which just made it worse, since there was sort of this assumption that it was OK to say these things to me, like I'd agree. But I also felt I should be professional and not get shitty with him, so I just let it go.

 

Afterwards, though, I thought a lot about what happened and whether being "professional" meant having to suck up insults. I felt pretty lame for not saying anything, like I didn't stand up for myself, and the more idealistic side of me thought maybe I could even enlighten him a bit. But in the end I just stopped making appointments with him without really saying why, which feels spineless but I just didn't have the inclination to get into it.

 

I'm not really anwering your question, other than to add an experience, but along with your question I wonder how people balance the desire to be "professional" with speaking your mind?

[nate_sf]

This has only happened to me a couple of times, but one time was pretty similarly outrageous to your experience and I didn't know how to react either. I don't think the guy meant to be offensive, which just made it worse, since there was sort of this assumption that it was OK to say these things to me, like I'd agree. But I also felt I should be professional and not get shitty with him, so I just let it go.

 

Afterwards, though, I thought a lot about what happened and whether being "professional" meant having to suck up insults. I felt pretty lame for not saying anything, like I didn't stand up for myself, and the more idealistic side of me thought maybe I could even enlighten him a bit. But in the end I just stopped making appointments with him without really saying why, which feels spineless but I just didn't have the inclination to get into it.

 

I'm not really anwering your question, other than to add an experience, but along with your question I wonder how people balance the desire to be "professional" with speaking your mind?

[Guest TommyTam]

RE: Escorting and political correctness - when do you w...

 

Hello Sean

In Europe the word "Asian" is point to the area of India and Pakistan, and "Orientals" is the rest of the Asia area close to China and Southeast Asia. In America both are the same.

So...Sean I just wonder why you willing to be an escort? you willing to work, so you can stand up by yourself and don't let this so call "world" look down on you, and why just for few dollars, you let people take away your pride? I'm Chinese and I'm so proud about it, discriminate isn't part of the service and I make sure about it.

Take care

Tommy Tam

Best Asian Escort in the State

512-635-0379

Website: http://www.tommytx.com

Review: http://www.male4malescorts.com/reviews/tommytamaustin.html

for more information please send e-mail to austintt@hotmail.com or tommy@tommytx.com

[Guest TommyTam]

RE: Escorting and political correctness - when do you w...

 

Hello Sean

In Europe the word "Asian" is point to the area of India and Pakistan, and "Orientals" is the rest of the Asia area close to China and Southeast Asia. In America both are the same.

So...Sean I just wonder why you willing to be an escort? you willing to work, so you can stand up by yourself and don't let this so call "world" look down on you, and why just for few dollars, you let people take away your pride? I'm Chinese and I'm so proud about it, discriminate isn't part of the service and I make sure about it.

Take care

Tommy Tam

Best Asian Escort in the State

512-635-0379

Website: http://www.tommytx.com

Review: http://www.male4malescorts.com/reviews/tommytamaustin.html

for more information please send e-mail to austintt@hotmail.com or tommy@tommytx.com

[Guest houseboy]

RE: Escorting and political correctness - when do you w...

 

Actually, in "my" part of Europe, "Oriental" refers to the area roughly spanning from Turkey and Egypt in the West, Oman and Yemen in the South and Iran in the East. "Asian" usually means East and Southeast Asian, whereas people from South-Asia would be referred to (admittedly not always correctly) as "Indian".

 

Sean Lespagnol

Chicago, IL

http://www.seanlespagnol.com

 

"If you want a friend, tame me"

[Guest houseboy]

RE: Escorting and political correctness - when do you w...

 

Actually, in "my" part of Europe, "Oriental" refers to the area roughly spanning from Turkey and Egypt in the West, Oman and Yemen in the South and Iran in the East. "Asian" usually means East and Southeast Asian, whereas people from South-Asia would be referred to (admittedly not always correctly) as "Indian".

 

Sean Lespagnol

Chicago, IL

http://www.seanlespagnol.com

 

"If you want a friend, tame me"

[+ Charlie]

RE: Escorting and political correctness - when do you w...

 

Although this answer is impressive, I'm surprised it got past the monitors. Answers in a language other than English are supposed to be verboten, as I was informed when I tried to answer a poster in German a couple of years ago.

[+ Charlie]

RE: Escorting and political correctness - when do you w...

 

Although this answer is impressive, I'm surprised it got past the monitors. Answers in a language other than English are supposed to be verboten, as I was informed when I tried to answer a poster in German a couple of years ago.

[Guest houseboy]

RE: Escorting and political correctness - when do you w...

 

Oh really? I had no idea. By all means, take it off then! Take it all off!

 

(Would Old English be acceptable?)

 

Sean Lespagnol

Chicago, IL

http://www.seanlespagnol.com

 

"If you want a friend, tame me"

[Guest houseboy]

RE: Escorting and political correctness - when do you w...

 

Oh really? I had no idea. By all means, take it off then! Take it all off!

 

(Would Old English be acceptable?)

 

Sean Lespagnol

Chicago, IL

http://www.seanlespagnol.com

 

"If you want a friend, tame me"

[Guest houseboy]

Elsewheres on this site, I came across a discussion whether or not to call individuals of Asian extraction "Orientals" or "Asians" (or probably the fashionable late 19th century "Mongols"). I actually had a somewhat disturbing encounter with a client a while back and was curious how other escorts would react if put in the same situation.

 

This particular client called me for an out-call at his place in one of the suburbs of Chicago. He struck me as a fun, quirky guy who would definitely make the afternoon one to be remembered through his outgoing personality. Well, a memorable afternoon it was indeed. About halfways into "the act" he made a comment (yeah, a talker) that gave me the impression that he was maybe not too happy about the high percentage in Chicago of African-Americans (not the term he used, but I don't want my mother to think I am using offensive language in case she is reading this), which was corroborated by similar comments about Poles, Jews, and Mexicans later on.

 

Now I do strongly believe that everyone is entitled to his or her opinion about the topic of his / her choosing and I usually do cut people some slack for general ignorance, but what, ultimately, is the proper way to respond to slurs (racial, sexist, political, etc.) when you are with a client? Do you shut your mouth and keep going? Do you tell him to shut up and keep going? Do you gently change the subject (how about them Cubs?)? Or do you take a stand, point out the offensiveness of such comments and break off the session? Or do you try to educate?

 

In this particular case, after several attempts to change the subject and alluding to the inappropriateness of such comments remained fruitless, I finished up as quickly as I could and told the client that I would probably not be available for future engagements (I probably should have been more specific about the reasons why not, but at that point I just wanted to get out).

 

This is the first time something like this has happened to me and I was curious if this has happened to anyone else and how you would respond.

 

Thanks!

 

 

 

Sean Lespagnol

Chicago, IL

http://www.seanlespagnol.com

 

"If you want a friend, tame me"

[Guest houseboy]

Elsewheres on this site, I came across a discussion whether or not to call individuals of Asian extraction "Orientals" or "Asians" (or probably the fashionable late 19th century "Mongols"). I actually had a somewhat disturbing encounter with a client a while back and was curious how other escorts would react if put in the same situation.

 

This particular client called me for an out-call at his place in one of the suburbs of Chicago. He struck me as a fun, quirky guy who would definitely make the afternoon one to be remembered through his outgoing personality. Well, a memorable afternoon it was indeed. About halfways into "the act" he made a comment (yeah, a talker) that gave me the impression that he was maybe not too happy about the high percentage in Chicago of African-Americans (not the term he used, but I don't want my mother to think I am using offensive language in case she is reading this), which was corroborated by similar comments about Poles, Jews, and Mexicans later on.

 

Now I do strongly believe that everyone is entitled to his or her opinion about the topic of his / her choosing and I usually do cut people some slack for general ignorance, but what, ultimately, is the proper way to respond to slurs (racial, sexist, political, etc.) when you are with a client? Do you shut your mouth and keep going? Do you tell him to shut up and keep going? Do you gently change the subject (how about them Cubs?)? Or do you take a stand, point out the offensiveness of such comments and break off the session? Or do you try to educate?

 

In this particular case, after several attempts to change the subject and alluding to the inappropriateness of such comments remained fruitless, I finished up as quickly as I could and told the client that I would probably not be available for future engagements (I probably should have been more specific about the reasons why not, but at that point I just wanted to get out).

 

This is the first time something like this has happened to me and I was curious if this has happened to anyone else and how you would respond.

 

Thanks!

 

 

 

Sean Lespagnol

Chicago, IL

http://www.seanlespagnol.com

 

"If you want a friend, tame me"

[Guest TommyTam]

RE: Escorting and political correctness - when do you w...

 

Oriental refer to Turkey and Egypt in the west?....wow this is really new to me, I sure will like to know more about it. I was live in Amsterdam for few years, they call me Oriental, and ppl from India area an Asian...Mmm maybe only Dutch doing it...ha ha :-)

Tommy Tam

Best Asian Escort in the State

512-635-0379

Website: http://www.tommytx.com

Review: http://www.male4malescorts.com/reviews/tommytamaustin.html

for more information please send e-mail to austintt@hotmail.com or tommy@tommytx.com

[HotdadENYC]

RE: The Client Is Always Right

 

Excellent answer, Franco.

 

If a client wishes to rant on about unsavory topics, its time to

shove your cock in his mouth.

 

After all, that's more than likely the reason an escort was hired.

[Guest BenAJ]

RE: Escorting and political correctness - when do you w...

 

as they say in the asian community "oriental is a rug".. ;-)

 

Personally, I'm not offended by the word oriental but some in the asian community are, so when in doubt, best to just say asian.

 

Often it is hard to determine what is offensive to a person, especially if you are not familiar with that particular race/religion, etc.

 

Even some gay mean don't like the word "fag" but some don't mind it at all. So when in doubt err on the side of caution.

[+ deej]

This is a tough situation no matter where it is encountered.

 

Years ago, I was employed by a consulting firm in the NYC area that was owned by Jews and most of the employees were Jews. We joked internally about me being the token gentile -- someone to answer the phones on the Jewish holidays.

 

We landed a client who made a point of telling us he'd been displeased with work he'd had done by our two major competitors. On our first meeting, he told me point blank that he'd hired us because we had "good Jewish cups". My first impulse was to walk right there, and in hindsight I should have. He'd made an assumption about me being Jewish because of my name and my employer, and proceeded to make a prejudiced ass of himself for the next several weeks.

 

To this day, he's the only client I've ever had that I can declare an utter failure. Things went from bad to worse when he found out I'm NOT Jewish.

 

I later learned that he hadn't left our two competitors, as he'd told us. They'd both declined further work because he's such a jerk.

 

Sometimes, when your first instinct is to flee it's the right thing to do. x(

[Guest Wood worker]

RE: Escorting and political correctness - when do you w...

 

Sean, I think you did the best you could in a difficult situation. The picture-perfect outcome of course would be to explain the reason why you wouldn't be available for future appointments. Unfortunately, you've got a lot of baggage to carry if you try to do that: Mr. Ignorant can write a nasty review and affect your business, for example.

 

I like the classy, human, and funny way you describe your dilemma. Without meaning to seem too touchy-feely, it seems to me that openness and honesty like yours is helpful as we search together to find the right way to solve tricky moral dilemmas (and no, I do not want to join hands around the campfire for a chorus of Kum-Ba-Ya!).

 

I had a similar thing happen once in the early 1990s while having my teeth worked on by a small-town dentist in his 30s. At the time legislation had been proposed in that state which would make it a criminal offense to fail to reveal to a health-care worker if one was HIV-positive. My dentist casually remarked that "this whole AIDS thing could be ended immediately if we just quarantined all the fags," and that he personally "would never work on someone who was homosexual because it was too dangerous for the dentist." I was young, politically naive, in an obviously compromised position, and so shocked that I couldn't think of anything to say at the time, particularly with a mouthful of cotton and metal. Naturally, afterwards there were innumerable things that I thought of that I could have said, pointing out the illegality of such a practice under the Americans with Disabilities Act, for example. But I can tell you that Dr. Bigot, D.D.S. lost the business of this fag and a slew of others in the same town, and there was a subsequent private chat with the local Dental Society chairman.

 

As to the issue of what to call someone (the Asian/Oriental thread), as a point of etiquette I try to give everyone the courtesy of being called whatever they wish, which can mean asking for a preference. I do have bounds on this. If someone insists that they be referred to as the Holy Father, unless they have on a white beanie and they're sitting on a gold chair in the Vatican I think I might just use Mr. Smith until the psych eval team arrives. But within reason, if a person wants to be called by a given designation, that ought to be their right. Part of the heat in the abortion debate, for example, comes from the pro-life side referring to the pro-choice side as "pro-abortion" or "pro-death" while the pro-choice side typically refers to its opponent as "anti-abortion."

 

I don't think of this as political correctness. Call it property rights for one's identity, if you're of the libertarian bent. I try to educate myself to keep up with what's best...though with some of these sociological trends I may soon need crib sheets.

[BobbyThompson]

RE: Escorting and political correctness - when do you w...

 

Really great topic :-) Thanks for bringing it up.

 

If it happened to me, I would do the same thing you did. Most likely you're not going to be able to refute decades of his bigotry in a few comments, so I'd eliminate that thought and just focus on getting out of the situation. I'd be a little nervous developing a confrontational attitude with him, so I'd probably just make a witty yet generic comment, and ignore the subject. You've gotta know when to take a stand, and in a stranger's hotel room/house may not be the best place to do so. I would definitely not see him again and if pressed I would tell him why.

 

I never understand racism, especially homosexuals who are racist. I mean, being a member of the last group it's still considered acceptable to openly hate, you'd think it would force some tolerance.

 

Be well everyone

Bobby

[Guest houseboy]

RE: Escorting and political correctness - when do you w...

 

Thanks everyone for your great responses - it's at times like this that spending an hour or two on the message board definitely beats making snow angels outside.

 

Sean Lespagnol

Chicago, IL

http://www.seanlespagnol.com

 

"If you want a friend, tame me"

[KY_TOP]

RE: Escorting and political correctness - when do you w...

 

>Thanks everyone for your great responses - it's at times like

>this that spending an hour or two on the message board

>definitely beats making snow angels outside.

 

If your making Snow Angels but careful of the Yellow snow...unless of course your into Frozen Water sports.:+

[Guest TommyTam]

RE: Escorting and political correctness - when do you w...

 

I just made some lemon ice in Chicago few days ago...I sure it still taste....:+

Tommy Tam

Best Asian Escort in the State

512-635-0379

Website: http://www.tommytx.com

Review: http://www.male4malescorts.com/reviews/tommytamaustin.html

for more information please send e-mail to austintt@hotmail.com or tommy@tommytx.com