Nail polish

[LookingAround]

16 hours ago, Chancealot said:

What are you talking about ?  He had nails colored in one pic - I asked him if he did or he didn’t 

I don’t prefer it - I’m the customer 

if that’s “too much” for ya that’s a you thing 

No you went beyond that. You asked him to remove it. The arrogance and I’ll ageee. The fragile masculinity here. 

[pubic_assistance]

59 minutes ago, KensingtonHomo said:

It's not your "personal preference", it's a bias you've been socialized to have because of patriarchy and heterosexism. 

A person's sexual preferences are built of many components. Patriarchial society would be a factor if you've grown up in a patriarchial society. Same way your sexual preference might be different were you raised in a matriarchal society.  So what ? It's still ALL going to give you personal preferences one way or another.

 

[Jim_n_NYC]

This thread is such a hoot, LOL.

[wsc]

Back in the days when I smoked, the store was out of my preferred cigarette brand. The clerk said, "But we have x-brand, instead!" I said, "No, thank you." Then the clerk said, "We also have y-brand, if you'd like." "I wouldn't," I replied, "but thank you, anyway." When the clerk moved on to z-brand, I stopped her and said, "Look, there are two things -and there are only two things- you can't sell me. One is what you don't have, and the other is what I don't want."

It's your money, your tastes, and your preferences; you have a right to satisfy all three with your selections and spending. You can ask for what you want and walk away if it's not available. You can ask about the nail polish, or the beard, or the tats, or the whatever -none of which were displayed in the ad you saw and none of which had occurred to you before the in-person meeting. But people aren't cartons of cigarettes and shouldn't be looked at or treated as such. If the provider is agreeable to an on-the-spot modification to suit your sensibilities, fine. But, if not -and over an issue not previously discussed- sending him on his way without some level of compensation for his trip and lost income opportunity, is graceless.

[+ KensingtonHomo]

54 minutes ago, pubic_assistance said:

A person's sexual preferences are built of many components. Patriarchial society would be a factor if you've grown up in a patriarchial society. Same way your sexual preference might be different were you raised in a matriarchal society.  So what ? It's still ALL going to give you personal preferences one way or another.

 

We've all grown up in a patriarchal, heterosexist society. There are no matriarchal society outside of a few hunter gatherer societies. It's not a "personal preference" then, it's something you've been propagandized to believe. 

[Chancealot]

5 hours ago, LookingAround said:

No you went beyond that. You asked him to remove it. The arrogance and I’ll ageee. The fragile masculinity here. 

Ya most of his pics had no polish - one did - so I asked him if then when he did I asked if he could remove since the majority of his pics he had none 

“fragile masculinity” is your attempt at labeling a simple request as something more than that.  Arrogance is you doing so.  Try to smile 

[Chancealot]

11 hours ago, KensingtonHomo said:

You know, I'm not that young. I'm a Gen Xer and parts of this conversation feel like they're taking place in the 1980s. 

You keep attempting to put people down and instead you’re the one looking like an incessant boor 

[+ KensingtonHomo]

20 minutes ago, Chancealot said:

You keep attempting to put people down and instead you’re the one looking like an incessant boor 

I’m not “trying to put people down.” I’m pointing out that some of you feel entitled in ways that are inappropriate and dehumanizing to providers. 

[Frotbear]

I work backstage of a professional theatre company. A few of the crew guys wear black nail polish. Reminds me of Herman Munster. 

In porn, if a cis male's nails are too long, it's an instant "boner killer" for me. 

[bostonman]

1 minute ago, Frotbear said:

I work backstage of a professional theatre company. A few of the crew guys wear black nail polish. Reminds me of Herman Munster.

Some of my cis-male college musical theatre students have been wearing nail polish as well - sometimes black, sometimes other colors. And they are not necessarily gay. It seems to be a relatively new fad. 

[maninsoma]

I agree that it's petty to send someone on his way, after he's prepared himself for an appointment and traveled to a client's residence/hotel, simply due to something like nail polish.  I agree that if that issue is so important to a client that he should screen for that in advance, not at the moment someone shoes up in person.  Or pay for the service you requested if you decide to cancel at the last minute.

The rest of it is just intellectual nonsense.  Unless we're going to start arguing that all sexual preferences are wrong, that we should all find every person potentially sexy, then just accept that people have their likes and dislikes and that sometimes those are congruent with dominant culture messaging but other times they are not.  Kudos to those who truly are more open to a wide variety of people, and I think the best escorts are those who are able to see the sexiness in a much wider array of people than most of us can.

[LookingAround]

17 minutes ago, maninsoma said:

I agree that it's petty to send someone on his way, after he's prepared himself for an appointment and traveled to a client's residence/hotel, simply due to something like nail polish.  I agree that if that issue is so important to a client that he should screen for that in advance, not at the moment someone shoes up in person.  Or pay for the service you requested if you decide to cancel at the last minute.

The rest of it is just intellectual nonsense.  Unless we're going to start arguing that all sexual preferences are wrong, that we should all find every person potentially sexy, then just accept that people have their likes and dislikes and that sometimes those are congruent with dominant culture messaging but other times they are not.  Kudos to those who truly are more open to a wide variety of people, and I think the best escorts are those who are able to see the sexiness in a much wider array of people than most of us can.

I agree with this. It’s the “asking them to remove it” or (as you observe) “send them packing” (my words/paraphrase) I take issue with. 

Edited June 22, 2022 by LookingAround

[Chancealot]

16 hours ago, Jim_n_NYC said:

This thread is such a hoot, LOL.

Ya some folks take a simple thing and attempt to make it much bigger and diff than it is 

[Chancealot]

42 minutes ago, maninsoma said:

I agree that it's petty to send someone on his way, after he's prepared himself for an appointment and traveled to a client's residence/hotel, simply due to something like nail polish.  I agree that if that issue is so important to a client that he should screen for that in advance, not at the moment someone shoes up in person.  Or pay for the service you requested if you decide to cancel at the last minute.

The rest of it is just intellectual nonsense.  Unless we're going to start arguing that all sexual preferences are wrong, that we should all find every person potentially sexy, then just accept that people have their likes and dislikes and that sometimes those are congruent with dominant culture messaging but other times they are not.  Kudos to those who truly are more open to a wide variety of people, and I think the best escorts are those who are able to see the sexiness in a much wider array of people than most of us can.

“Intellectual nonsense” is a great term - I might RE-use it 

[+ KensingtonHomo]

35 minutes ago, maninsoma said:

The rest of it is just intellectual nonsense.  Unless we're going to start arguing that all sexual preferences are wrong, that we should all find every person potentially sexy, then just accept that people have their likes and dislikes and that sometimes those are congruent with dominant culture messaging but other times they are not. 

I have to disagree that it's "just intellectual nonsense." I never claimed everyone should be attracted to everyone else. I take exception when a gay man (or men) shame or belittle each other based on gender presentation. If the OP isn't interested in men with nail polish he can just move on from a provider he sees wearing it. Making a post about it, saying he'd send someone away without compensation, all based on a perceived gender transgression is shitty to the provider and it also reinforces heteronormative binary gender in a way that harms other queer people. 

[LookingAround]

25 minutes ago, KensingtonHomo said:

I have to disagree that it's "just intellectual nonsense." I never claimed everyone should be attracted to everyone else. I take exception when a gay man (or men) shame or belittle each other based on gender presentation. If the OP isn't interested in men with nail polish he can just move on from a provider he sees wearing it. Making a post about it, saying he'd send someone away without compensation, all based on a perceived gender transgression is shitty to the provider and it also reinforces heteronormative binary gender in a way that harms other queer people. 

This is evolved thinking and gets away from the old fashioned thinking so seemingly dominant here. Breath of fresh air. Thank you. 

[Chancealot]

46 minutes ago, KensingtonHomo said:

I have to disagree that it's "just intellectual nonsense." I never claimed everyone should be attracted to everyone else. I take exception when a gay man (or men) shame or belittle each other based on gender presentation. If the OP isn't interested in men with nail polish he can just move on from a provider he sees wearing it. Making a post about it, saying he'd send someone away without compensation, all based on a perceived gender transgression is shitty to the provider and it also reinforces heteronormative binary gender in a way that harms other queer people. 

You can’t help yourself can you.  I agree that sending someone home w/o some comp if something was not discussed prior is awful.  But you’ve spent this entire thread branching out from this individual poster bad move - hiring then sending one away without consideration is not a reasonable thing - into something much bigger and have denigrated others who don’t see things as dramatic as you 

So reread your posts perhaps before you play the victim or attempt to victimize 

 

Edited June 22, 2022 by Chancealot

[TorontoDrew]

I think it's time to put this thread to bed.  Don't care anymore.

[Todd Jenkins]

GOOD GRAVY. IF a provider is wearing nail polish, and the client doesn't like nail polish, the client does NOT have to go through with the appointment. IT'S THE CLIENT'S MONEY!!!!

I find it detestable. If I wanted a woman, I would hire a woman. 

This whole 'patriarchal, white, cis, man, accept me or you're the problem' BS is just plain dumb. I don't find nail polish attractive, I find it gross. That's MY prerogative. 

It's the client's money and the client can decide to open that wallet or not. 

 

 

[+ KensingtonHomo]

38 minutes ago, Chancealot said:

You can’t help yourself can you.  I agree that sending someone home w/o some comp if something was not discussed prior is awful.  But you’ve spent this entire thread branching out from this individual poster bad move - hiring then sending one away without consideration is not a reasonable thing - into something much bigger and have denigrated others who don’t see things as dramatic as you 

So reread your posts perhaps before you play the victim or attempt to victimize 

 

This is just another example of masculine fragility. You can't handle someone pointing out that your "preferences" are socially constructed and feed into larger cultural prohibitions against femininity in men. So you've spent this thread lashing out of me for pointing out the facts. 

The reality is that the OP could have left that provider alone, or failing that, not posted about it here in a desire to have his shitty, anti-femme, heterosexist behavior propped up other cis men. All along providers and femmes have been dehumanized and treated like chattel because some people believe they have a right to demand physical changes because their sexual palate is in inch wide. 

[+ nycman]

23 minutes ago, TorontoDrew said:

I think it's time to put this thread to bed.  Don't care anymore.

[LookingAround]

A close friend of mine is a “recovering escort” (my term) who retired because he said that escorting was bad for his mental health. I asked him to elaborate and one of his key points/issues was clients who wanted to control him. This thread is one such example. 

Edited June 22, 2022 by LookingAround

[+ nycman]

7 minutes ago, LookingAround said:

This thread is one such example. 

[Chancealot]

1 hour ago, LookingAround said:

A close friend of mine is a “recovering escort” (my term) who retired because he said that escorting was bad for his mental health. I asked him to elaborate and one of his key points/issues was clients who wanted to control him. This thread is one such example. 

Hope your friend is ok but nail polish on/off is not a reasonable example of what you describe 

Or I’ll rephrase to “in my opinion”

[Chancealot]

2 hours ago, TorontoDrew said:

I think it's time to put this thread to bed.  Don't care anymore.

It’s a free country I think - to not read/post or to enter the fray.