Meeting question

[shawshini]

Hey All,

I’m not sure this is the right section for this question, so mods please feel free to set me on the right direction.

Just looking for an opinion-because I’ve learned so much from folks on this forum so thought it would be an ok place to ask.

I’ve been hiring for less than a year, and all my encounters have gone well, luckily I suppose.  
 

Currently waiting to meet a provider, texted location and we’ve had great communication so far. However, he’s 27 minutes late and I haven’t heard from him.  Was going to reach out at the 30 minute mark but don’t want to seem annoying- of course the “mom” in me is worried something happened to him.

Just wondering if 30 minutes is too soon, should I wait?

[sincitymix]

If its beyond the agreed upon time, I would reach out.. the least he could do is a courtesy im running late..

hope he doesnt ghost you.

 

[shawshini]

7 minutes ago, sincitymix said:

If its beyond the agreed upon time, I would reach out.. the least he could do is a courtesy im running late..

hope he doesnt ghost you.

 

Yeah I reached out and heard nothing. Guessing it’s a no go at this point. Just surprised because he’s been super responsive thus far. 

[rvwnsd]

When a guy hasn't arrived at the agreed-upon time and hasn't let me know he is running late, I usually text between 5 and 10 minutes after time and ask for his ETA. If no response, I'll reach out again at the 15-minute mark and ask if we are still on. Usually, I will have received a response. Although I might think it, I don't send texts like "If you don't reply in the next five minutes don't bother," mainly because something extraordinary could have occurred and I'd feel bad for being an ass. 

[jeezifonly]

At 30m mark, “I’ve really been looking forward to our meeting at X:00 and hope everything is ok”  Zero response to that = fuck you. Move on to another guy. 

 

[+ azdr0710]

@jtmick   I know you didn't hear from him after an inquiry, but did he ever get back........later?

[Kevin Slater]

If he's stuck in a subway, he might not have cell service.

Kevin Slater

[guru68]

Sorry to hear things didn't go well - hope you didn't lose more than your time.

[shawshini]

Update!  He had a totally understandable delay and all worked out, I ended up having a great time.  Some things are worth the wait.  Thanks for all of your feedback, I am truly grateful for this forum!

[rvwnsd]

3 hours ago, jeezifonly said:

 Zero response to that = fuck you. 

Or not, in this case. 🤣

[+ ButchAtl]

Its frustrating for sure not to hear from an expected provider when late,  but I woundn't be doing any "fuck you"  thoughts or actions  until I absolutely knew for certain something terrible had not happened to him where he wasn't in a position to contact you.  In the case of an accident of some type, I doubt the paramedics would find your name or number  among his emergency contacts!    While perhaps unlikely,  unexpected things can and do happen. 

[+ DrownedBoy]

Yes on the politeness. Before asking for an ETA, ask if everything is ok and if they're still coming.

If they do end up ghosting you, just post a warning here.

[robberbaron4u]

Once again, "escorting is a business enterprise" : ten minutes past the appointed hour without notice from the escort, I move on to "backup" and an old-fashioned whiskey cocktail in the bar. 

[+ PapaTony]

On 4/29/2022 at 10:03 PM, jtmick said:

Update!  He had a totally understandable delay and all worked out, I ended up having a great time.  Some things are worth the wait.  Thanks for all of your feedback, I am truly grateful for this forum!

Enlighten us please. 

[rvwnsd]

On 4/30/2022 at 5:38 AM, ButchAtl said:

Its frustrating for sure not to hear from an expected provider when late,  but I woundn't be doing any "fuck you"  thoughts or actions  until I absolutely knew for certain something terrible had not happened to him where he wasn't in a position to contact you.  In the case of an accident of some type, I doubt the paramedics would find your name or number  among his emergency contacts!    While perhaps unlikely,  unexpected things can and do happen. 

True story: Back before cell phones were ubiquitous (In fact, I worked on the startup team for a provider who became part of today's T-Mobile) a hook-up was on his way to my place in Evanston, IL. It is the first city north of Chicago by Lake Michigan and despite looking like it is a short drive it can be a pain in the ass to get in and out. Guy didn't show up, didn't show up, didn't show up so I found someone else to come over. Guy #2 (the someone else) comes over and tells me about a terrible accident on Lake Shore Drive that has the north side of Chicago paralyzed. We have fun and he leaves. About an hour later, Guy #1 shows up. He's very apologetic and looks stressed and freaked out, so I invite him in. Turns out, he witnessed the horrific accident in which two people died. There was no way for him to leave the scene until the accident had been cleared and without a cell phone there was no way for him to call me. He was in no mood to mess around, but he also was in no emotional shape to drive back home, so we ordered in and hung out.

He came over later in the week.

 

On 4/30/2022 at 6:53 AM, DrownedBoy said:

Yes on the politeness. Before asking for an ETA, ask if everything is ok and if they're still coming.

If they do end up ghosting you, just post a warning here.

Thank you for the reminder to ask if everything is OK. I should have mentioned that. 

[harlow]

On 5/1/2022 at 6:56 PM, rvwnsd said:

True story: Back before cell phones were ubiquitous (In fact, I worked on the startup team for a provider who became part of today's T-Mobile) a hook-up was on his way to my place in Evanston, IL. It is the first city north of Chicago by Lake Michigan and despite looking like it is a short drive it can be a pain in the ass to get in and out. Guy didn't show up, didn't show up, didn't show up so I found someone else to come over. Guy #2 (the someone else) comes over and tells me about a terrible accident on Lake Shore Drive that has the north side of Chicago paralyzed. We have fun and he leaves. About an hour later, Guy #1 shows up. He's very apologetic and looks stressed and freaked out, so I invite him in. Turns out, he witnessed the horrific accident in which two people died. There was no way for him to leave the scene until the accident had been cleared and without a cell phone there was no way for him to call me. He was in no mood to mess around, but he also was in no emotional shape to drive back home, so we ordered in and hung out.

He came over later in the week.

 

Thank you for the reminder to ask if everything is OK. I should have mentioned that. 

All of that was relevant at the time. However it is 2022 and short of an accident or tragedy involving yourself there is no excuse for no communication.  That goes for us clients as well.   Hell even a lot of the homeless have cell phones 

[Kevin Slater]

2 hours ago, harlow said:

even a lot of the homeless have cell phones 

Well they certainly wouldn't have home phones. (Buh-duh-bing.)

Kevin Slater