New York Swan Song

[+ Cock Eyed Optimist]

From 1970 until 2004 I visited New York several times a year.  I had a great time at the Gayiety and many other bars.  I had the pleasure of meeting Cooper https://www.companyofmen.org/profile/257-cooper/ and Foxy and many others.  But when I came, it was like a business trip seeing as many Broadway shows as I could.  Now in my Swan Song years, I will come back one more time in late April to see again as many shows as I can, but could you recommend some gay bars to visit in the Midtown area?  I'm not comatose yet, so I can stand the action, but I am not familiar with the many bars I used to go to in my Salad Days.  Thanks!

[Luv2play]

We're probably the same generation as I first visited New York in 1971 and then more frequently in the 80's and through the 90's and early 00's as an openly gay man. In that time I met men in the bars but also started hiring escorts.

Then for well over a decade after 2003 I didn't visit. Went back just before the pandemic but didn't stop in any gay bars. Had escorts visit me in my hotel each night, including two overnights. 

Frankly, at my age I'm not interested in the bar scene at night seeking hookups. I much prefer the screening I can do through Rentment when I am cold sober and in possession of all my faculties. 

[+ Lucky]

I first visited New York when I was 12. I had sold enough newspaper subscriptions to win a trip. This is 1960. We were 12 and 13 year olds. The first thing most of the guys did was buy Playboy magazines.

My last visit was in November. As much as I like walking in New York, the pandemic had left me out of shape so it was painful. Yet I persisted!

[+ Charlie]

I had my first gay sex in NYC when I was 17. From then on for more than forty years, I lived in or played in the city frequently--I would estimate that at least 75% of all the sexual experiences in my life took place there. I knew all the bars in Manhattan and belonged to many of the sex clubs, and patronized all of the bath houses.

The last time I was there was almost a dozen years ago. The neighborhoods I knew had changed; I found that all the places that I knew were gone, and the gay scene was terra incognita to me. I don't even know if gay bars are still a thing there.

[kingsley88]

I tend to go to piano bars nowadays as I like the ambiance, the singing, and it's easier to break the ice with strangers.

If I go to a random gay bar in NYC, most of the guys I see there are either with friends or alone by the bar checking their smartphone (most likely on grindr or scruff or growlr or jackd, etc.)

[Luv2play]

Smartphones really have changed the dynamic of bars and restaurants whether gay or straight. A real killer for social interaction between strangers. Glad they didnt exist when I was young and hustling for pickups in the bars. And I don't mean for cash transactions. I had to make it on my looks then. Lol.

[Luv2play]

1 hour ago, Charlie said:

I had my first gay sex in NYC when I was 17. From then on for more than forty years, I lived in or played in the city frequently--I would estimate that at least 75% of all the sexual experiences in my life took place there. I knew all the bars in Manhattan and belonged to many of the sex clubs, and patronized all of the bath houses.

The last time I was there was almost a dozen years ago. The neighborhoods I knew had changed; I found that all the places that I knew were gone, and the gay scene was terra incognita to me. I don't even know if gay bars are still a thing there.

Do you ever go back to see the places where you once lived? Like Breakfast at Tiffanys. I often do whenever I have the chance. 

A few months ago I stopped in front of the house which I owned for 20 years during my crazy 30s and 40s. A youngish woman came out and I hailed her from my car as she crossed the street in front of me.

We chatted a bit and she told me her sister, who owned the house, had turned the family room addition I had put on the rear with skylights and a fireplace with cathedral ceiling was now her sister's office, which she loved during the pandemic. It made me feel good that it had been put to such use.

Edited April 18, 2022 by Luv2play

[+ Charlie]

Whenever I go back to a place where I once lived, I go to see the buildings I once lived in. When I was in Philadelphia several years ago, I stopped by the first house we owned, which we had sold 30 years previously. As I was taking a photo, the front door opened and a couple came out. I said," Don't worry, I am not casing the house for a burglary--we lived in this house for a dozen years." They said, "Oh, would you like to see what it is like inside now?" Of course I did! Considering that it had sold recently for almost three times as much as we had sold it for, I was surprised that it had changed very little since we left it. I pointed out to them where I had torn down a wall, the windows we had installed ourselves, the floor we had laid, the bathroom my father had helped us rebuild ourselves, etc. (we had been DIY gentrifiers). I couldn't wait to get back to CA and show the photos to my spouse.

In one of our later houses, I looked out the front window and saw a man and a young girl looking at our house. I opened the door to speak to him, and he introduced himself as the architect, who had designed the house for his own home. The girl was born while they lived there, which was why he was showing it to her. So naturally I let them in so she could see what had been her first bedroom; she was obviously excited by the view from her window.

Our first apartment in NYC was in a brownstone in Chelsea that had been converted to apartments. When we went to look at it several years ago, we discovered the whole building wrapped in construction netting. By looking up the address on Google (which didn't exist when we lived there in the 1960s), I discovered to my great surprise that the building was historically certified--not because we lived there, but because it was the only surviving building in the city that had been used as a station on the underground railroad by abolitionists in the 1850s.

[Luv2play]

I always feel a bit sad when houses are torn down to make way for something grander. Its only happened to me once when our family cottage was torn down a couple of years after we sold it in 2013. The people who bought it built a huge cedar house which I have to admit looks great on the lakeside location but it doesn't have the character our house had, a rambling 5 bedroom clapboard house built in the 1930's before there was electricity on .the lake.

[+ Pensant]

My last visit was in December 2014 when my sister and I attended La Traviata. I’d like to visit this fall.

[+ jessmapex]

On 4/18/2022 at 9:40 AM, Luv2play said:

Smartphones really have changed the dynamic of bars and restaurants whether gay or straight. A real killer for social interaction between strangers. Glad they didnt exist when I was young and hustling for pickups in the bars. And I don't mean for cash transactions. I had to make it on my looks then. Lol.

Yes they have. However, as a timid , overly self-aware, and someone who finds it very difficult to strike a conversation up with a stranger, I find a cell phone a useful device when I venture into a bar out of sheer boredom. I read NYT articles half-heartedly to appear engaged and not be a lonely loser nobody pays attention to.

[Cooper]

@Cock Eyed Optimist, Glad to hear you’ll soon be in NYC. What shows are you planning on seeing?

As for bars in the area, @foxyand I usually go to Hardware or Social Atlas 🥊, however, there are many more in that area. Just look for the pride flag. We usually go on Wednesdays after seeing a matinee. To strike up a conversation  just put your Playbill on the bar and someone will ask about the show you just saw 🎭.  Enjoy your time in NYC 🍎.

[+ Charlie]

3 hours ago, Cooper said:

@Cock Eyed Optimist, Glad to hear you’ll soon be in NYC. What shows are you planning on seeing?

As for bars in the area, @foxyand I usually go to Hardware or Social Atlas 🥊, however, there are many more in that area. Just look for the pride flag. We usually go on Wednesdays after seeing a matinee. To strike up a conversation  just put your Playbill on the bar and someone will ask about the show you just saw 🎭.  Enjoy your time in NYC 🍎.

A number of years ago, I made a trip to NYC with a fellow West Coast poster here, who had only recently come out at an advanced age. Cooper took us to a strip club, a first-time experience for my companion. It was a momentous occasion for him😲. Cooper definitely knows what to do in the city.

[Cooper]

@Charlie, Now you have me wondering, which strip club was that? 🤔

[+ Charlie]

It was a BuffBoys event at Heaven ($25 admission).

[+ Cock Eyed Optimist]

11 hours ago, Cooper said:

@Cock Eyed Optimist, Glad to hear you’ll soon be in NYC. What shows are you planning on seeing?

As for bars in the area, @foxyand I usually go to Hardware or Social Atlas 🥊, however, there are many more in that area. Just look for the pride flag. We usually go on Wednesdays after seeing a matinee. To strike up a conversation  just put your Playbill on the bar and someone will ask about the show you just saw 🎭.  Enjoy your time in NYC 🍎.

Thanks!  I'm cramming in a lot of shows since I'm only there 3 nights:  Music Man, Funny Girl(matinee), Company, and Dear Evan Hansen .  I'll check out these bars for sure.  I have fond memories of going with you and Foxy to the first Gayiety show of the week, so you could write your weekly review and get it published!  I think we also gave a fond nod to Stella's as we walked by. LOL

[+ Lucky]

The time I spent at the Gaiety and Stella's seems so long ago. I didn't know how good we had it...okay, yes, I did!

Thanks, @Cooper

[kingsley88]

On 4/21/2022 at 8:36 PM, Cock Eyed Optimist said:

Thanks!  I'm cramming in a lot of shows since I'm only there 3 nights:  Music Man, Funny Girl(matinee), Company, and Dear Evan Hansen .  I'll check out these bars for sure.  I have fond memories of going with you and Foxy to the first Gayiety show of the week, so you could write your weekly review and get it published!  I think we also gave a fond nod to Stella's as we walked by. LOL

If you have time, try to watch the play revival TAKE ME OUT or the new musical that won the Pulitzer a few years ago, STRANGE LOOP.