Time

[xyz48B]

What do escorts do with their spare time? Time that’s not a) setting up appointments or b) with clients?

How many hours a day do escorts spend on escorting between a) setting up appointments or b) with clients?

[italianboyph]

I’ve gone days/weeks without seeing clients. If I’m traveling is def more common for me to get booked and that be my focused, but in my spare time I’m def into baking and cooking.

[xyz48B]

10 minutes ago, italianboyph said:

I’ve gone days/weeks without seeing clients. If I’m traveling is def more common for me to get booked and that be my focused, but in my spare time I’m def into baking and cooking.

Baking and cooking?

Any good beef rubs?* Like true roasts, not braising…

*I mean that culinarily, not sexually 😂 

[Jamie21]

Some days it seems like all I do is reschedule my calendar….

Other days I might have a client or two. Sometimes weeks go by, sometimes there’s one every day. It’s all so random. 

Like most people my time goes on mundane stuff such as trying to remember website passwords, opening impenetrable packaging, pairing up socks that have lost their partner and scrolling Twitter to make myself feel unhappy or inadequate. 

[Guest]

 

5 hours ago, xyz48B said:

What do escorts do with their spare time? Time that’s not a) setting up appointments or b) with clients?

How many hours a day do escorts spend on escorting between a) setting up appointments or b) with clients?

What do people do with their spare time? How many hours a day do people spend working?

I wish there was a simple, juicy answer to give you, but the above is effectively the question you're asking. No answer would be universal here. 

Speaking just for myself: one fairly unique thing I do in my spare time is browse a very niche forum where a certain subsection of clients (and some non-clients) of escorts talk about us, and sometimes talk to us; and try my best to answer the weird and wonderful questions that come our way, even when they are mostly rhetorical. 

[xyz48B]

@DanteV– Many people could give you a very specific number of hours that they work each week, even down to the quarter hour. It’s not unreasonable to think some people would know…I was wondering what a typical number of hours might be that an escort invests in work. Some escorts here only escort as their work. Others do it as a side gig. That alone would be a differentiating factor between the amount of time that somebody dedicate each day or week or months to the work of escorting.

In my spare time, I spend a lot of time playing Cities Skylines in Civ V. I compose music, and arrange choral pieces. I like to cook, and I enjoy drinking different kinds of scotch with a good friend of mine almost every night. I wouldn’t consider this forum one of my primary “spare time” activities.

And for the record, my questions weren’t rhetorical.

Edited March 5, 2022 by xyz48B

[Jamie21]

I think this difference in expectations around how people respond to questions about time recording and usage is interesting because I’d say many people working in the sex industry have a flexible approach to time (the work lends itself to that).

I’m an ‘in time’ person, which means that for me time is a flexible concept. When I’m doing something then I can easily lose track of time because I’m focused on the thing at that time. I struggle to estimate how long things take (example…I know from experience my usual journey to a regular destination takes about an hour and that there’s usually traffic but in my head the journey without traffic should be 45 minutes….so I ALWAYS expect it to be 45 minutes and I am ALWAYS surprised by the traffic).

I hate being early because it’s a waste of time, and if society was more accepting of lateness I’d say that ‘within half hour of the agreed time’ counts as on time for me. Others being late doesn’t offend me as much as it appears to do for some people.

So I don’t count time, I don’t measure how much time I spend on things and I don’t differentiate between work time and non work time. Sometimes I’m doing what is called paid work at 3am in the morning (usually that’s sex work of course but it could equally be my other work) and sometimes I’m doing recreational stuff at 3am. I do stuff when it feels right for me not because the clock says it’s time. It just depends how I feel …because as I said, time for me is an entirely flexible concept only tempered by societal restrictions which force me to be on time for some things (like client bookings!) and to sleep at night (sleeping up to midday is great!). 

For someone who is ‘through time’ then usually they’re thinking about their carefully planned schedule. They focus on the ‘next thing’ rather than what they’re doing now. They’re never late, they compartmentalise time and are extremely good at measuring it. Anything that comes out of the blue to mess up their agenda causes all sorts of anxiety as they try to adjust and get back in control.

I’d say (and it’s a big generalisation but …too bad!!) that doing sex work is difficult if you’re a ‘through time’ type of person. The job calls for flexibility, the ability to be present in the moment and to be relaxed about an ever changing schedule. That environment would drive a ‘through time’ person crazy. As I said these are extremes on a linear scale, people can be a bit of both but generally you can see who falls into which camp. Both have advantages and disadvantages. 

[xyz48B]

On the whole, I have a very structured schedule. But days off, I try to be a bit more…freer with my time. But I do like to “schedule“ things because otherwise I find that I fritter the whole day away, and that would make me feel like I wasted it. Even though it’s my day off, if I don’t do anything “productive,“ I’m going to end up feeling kind of guilty for it.

Sometimes when I have a day off I end up sleeping a lot because of how crazy my work schedule is when I do work. And I need to catch up on actual sleep, not just resting and relaxing. But then I end up feeling like I have nothing to show for the day because I woke up late and took a long nap in the afternoon. But in all actuality that was exactly what I needed to do on that day. 

Edited March 6, 2022 by xyz48B

[+ keroscenefire]

19 hours ago, Jamie21 said:

 

I’m an ‘in time’ person, which means that for me time is a flexible concept.

 

This is very interesting to me and thank you for articulating it so well. I think I am also an 'in time' person. I too have trouble thinking of how long things take. But I'm probably a bit more punctual. I actually set me clocks ahead about five minutes just to make sure I get where I need a bit earlier. I'm also probably a bit more in between "in-time" and "through-time." I do think it's rude to be more than about 10-15 minutes late but also to be that much early. 

How do you manage to work in a more "through-time" world?

[xyz48B]

30 minutes ago, keroscenefire said:

I do think it's rude to be more than about 10-15 minutes late but also to be that much early.

Professionally, I follow this axiom: “Early is on time. On time is late. And late, don’t even bother.”

More casually, depending on who and what, I’ll either arrive a minute or two early, or “fashionably late,” which means like 30 minutes after I’m told whatever it is “starts.” If I’m going to a cookout or something similar that’s running at a friend’s house all afternoon into the evening, I don’t show up at 2pm, especially if they say “around 2pm.” I’ll probably come between 3-4:00 but stay a few hours. On the other hand, if they say they want to get started around 2pm but need everyone gone by 6:00 for some reason or another, then that affects when I’ll show up.

It’s situational, but the more I think about it, the more I realize I have this way if approaching it that’s clearly systematic, but something that I “just do.”

@Jamie21– Do you take the same approach to time with clients? Or do you see those “work-related” times as something more binding? I can imagine sometimes an appointment is flexible, but others, time is of the essence…

[Jamie21]

4 hours ago, xyz48B said:

Do you take the same approach to time with clients? Or do you see those “work-related” times as something more binding? I can imagine sometimes an appointment is flexible, but others, time is of the essence…

I realise with clients I have to be on time, so I really try hard with that. Also where I do most of my massages I have the space for the time booked (plus around 15 mins either end) so I do have to be careful to start and finish on time especially if another masseur has the space booked afterwards.

If I’m seeing a client on an outcall at their hotel or apartment then I usually turn up on time (max 10 minutes late) but I’m flexible about when I leave (if they’re ok with that) so it always goes on longer than planned, sometimes by over an hour because I lose track of time especially if there’s no clock visible. I don’t wear a watch, never owned one. 

I remember one time I’d been booked to meet a client and another provider at the client’s hotel. It was about an hour drive away. The plan was that the other escort (who I knew) would start with him first and then I’d join them for the second half of the session. The client wanted a one on one session and then a 3some as part two. Fine, so it was planned for me to join them a couple of hours after they started.

At the right time I set off from home and feeling very happy with myself I arrived at the hotel exactly to the minute at the right time (no waste by being early 🙂). I had the room number so I went to the door and knocked. Assuming they’d be on the mid session break and ready for me.

I could hear some scrambling going on as bodies moved quickly and then the door opened slightly and my escort friend appeared around it, I assume naked as he didn’t open the door far. “Jamie… er you’re early??” he said. “Oh am I? I’m right on time, it’s 2pm we said didn’t we?” I replied. “Yes 2….and it’s only 1pm now” he said “we’re not ready for you….can you wait a bit?”. “Oh sorry….er..yes, no problem, I’ll be downstairs, text when you’re ready” I replied. 

In my anxiety to not be late or waste time on a longish journey I’d misread the time on my phone, and in my car. I simply hadn’t noticed the hour being wrong and I was indeed a whole hour early for the session.

I waited downstairs in the hotel bar while they finished part one. When they were ready (at 2pm) my escort friend texted me to come up. The client thought it was funny I’d been early and had to wait so it was fine. A good session was had and I guess at least I wasn’t an hour late. 

I still have trouble understanding time though. It wasn’t until secondary school (aged 11 or 12) that I could read a clock face and on that occasion obviously I had trouble even with a digital clock! 
 

@keroscenefire With difficulty! As you can see above…is the answer to your question about how I manage in a ‘through-time’ world. I set alarms on my phone and am very careful with checking times for bookings. But being ‘in-time’ is an advantage in many ways because you’re always really present in the moment. I’m always open to explore (there being no agenda or timeline to keep to) and I discover things serendipitously by just being curious and having the inclination to wander off without any plan and see where I end up. 

[xyz48B]

7 hours ago, Jamie21 said:

I don’t wear a watch, never owned one. 

❗️‼️❗️‼️❗️‼️❗️
I almost always have a watch on. And I have a whole wall in my living room decorated with different clocks. I love clocks.

[NJF]

1 hour ago, xyz48B said:

❗️‼️❗️‼️❗️‼️❗️
I almost always have a watch on. And I have a whole wall in my living room decorated with different clocks. I love clocks.

Are all your clocks running on the same time?

[xyz48B]

3 minutes ago, NJF said:

Are all your clocks running on the same time?

As best I can. My Schwarzwalder cuckoo clock loses time throughout the day, and I need to set it when I recalibrate the weights every morning. The eight-day clock can be slightly off if I don’t wind it exactly the right time every eight days. But on the hole, I run a pretty tight ship with my clock wall!

The eight-day clock is very finicky about whether or not it’s perfectly level. That affects whether it gains or loses time as well.

[Shawn Monroe]

Interesting thoughts and perspectives here. I agree (as I often do) with @Jamie21 in that you have to have a bit of flexibility with your schedule, else this will drive you crazy. 
 

that said I’m somewhere in the middle. If I have no planned activities I’ll go crazy, and portions of my life are regimented (first alarm at 6, second at 6:10, gym at 6:30, etc). But others are up to chance. 
 

now about things I do outside of providing: 

- I’ve said it before but I love live music and concerts. I’m at at least one a week. If I’ve been to your city, I’ve probably been to a concert In your city. I also have a huge playlist of music I listen to traveling to and from your cities.

- for 8 years I was an editor for Fleshbot (it’s linked in my signature). For a few months I was one of the lead editors on the gay side. I’ve since parted ways with them but I know some porn stars and write about a lot of them. 

- I’m in the gym a lot, it keeps me from going crazy. 

- I like going to galleries and museums and looking at all the art. I made my ec go to the philbrook in Tulsa before I moved, and he got me a membership to the high in atlanta for my birthday. 

- if you’ve been to my home, you know I’ve become a plant dad recently. You also know the place has changed a lot since I moved in and I’ve been making it my own. 

[Shawn Monroe]

And as others have said (and we say at least once a month, y’all keep asking this) how much time we spend tending to clients varies. Getting ready to travel and being on a trip it’s more. Things can also be cyclical and some weeks I have a lot of bookings, other weeks not as many. There’s no one answer. 

[xyz48B]

@Shawn Monroe– I admire people who can do that with their alarms…If I don’t absolutely have to wake up like I do for work, setting an alarm invariably leads to hitting snooze 5-6 times. Despite the best of intentions, I just can’t peel myself out of bed if I don’t “need” to…

”Plant dad” is a new term. I see guys on IG who are really into their plants though. So they’re plant dads? Is that a new type of gay? I used to have oodles of orchids and had success getting them to bloom – til I adopted a Maine coon who loves to chew on anything long and thin, like an orchid stem. That was the end of my plant days…Shame because now I have a beautiful sunroom where I could keep plants. Damn pets…

[Shawn Monroe]

The gym is something I absolutely need to do 😉 

though I’m the opposite. I’ve been starting my day with the gym for the last 7’years so if I don’t I feel off. 
 

and yes, plant daddy is absolutely a new type of gay, with no kids and no pets (because I travel so much) that need something to tend to. 
 

currently I have:

- a pothos (that needs to be split and repotted)

- a desert rose (that is dormant right now cause it’s winter)

- a lucky bamboo

- a small succulent 

- 2 snake plants

- a fiddle leaf plant

- an aloe (clippings my friend sent me in the mail that is doing great)

- a fiddle leaf tree (my friend gave me when his place burned down)

- a bird of paradise (my friend gave me, that I should prob split and repot) 

- I also have a free pot right now; I will probably put a pilea in it. 

Edited March 8, 2022 by Shawn Monroe

[Jamie21]

Tending to plants must be a very satisfying thing to do. At the start of the pandemic (sorry to mention it) I began to grow my own food. It was one of those things that in a moment of utter crisis one does to retain some semblance of control. You know… ‘there’s going to be no food in shops so I’ll grow my own’ and cue visions of sweet red tomatoes, big potatoes being dug out of the fertile soil and cucumbers the size of my largest dildos. That sort of thing.

The reality? 6 months later…small green tomatoes, fewer potatoes than were used to actually grow them and a cucumber that certainly wouldn’t satisfy either end of me. So my dreams of self sufficiency died and the supermarket still delivers food. 

I agree with @Shawn Monroe that the gym is an essential. I don’t feel right unless I’ve worked out. Weights, run, swim, yoga. These things sustain me both physically and mentally. There’s no set time for it though, as you might expect from me. 

 

[Jamie21]

1 hour ago, arnemgreeves said:

Are you dyslexic? I’m not prying but I reckon I might have adhd and I’ve had issues in time keeping. I tend to note everything down because I’m a scatter without it.  

Nope, just an ‘in time’ person. I stay in the moment more than I think about the next thing.