Caveats in hiring. Please contribute!

[Alex93108]

22 hours ago, ButchAtl said:

I understand things can happen at the last minute, but I get a little leery when I have an appointment scheduled with a provider for a time, and get a text (usually about 45 minutes or so before the time), asking can we change it to xxx time, usually 30-60 minutes later. 

I immediately get the sense he's trying to squeeze in another appointment, which irritates me. Its especially annoying when I am already on the way to the meeting.

Most recently, I've simply declined the change only to find, all of a sudden, the original time is fine. 

Thoughts? 

The flexibility goes both ways - I have done this to an escort too, largely because I was at dinner and the dinner went over. He's human too. 

[Guest MikeThomas]

I hate it when you get to a provider’s place on time (usually an out of town provider staying at a hotel) and are asked to wait 15 minutes. Once that 15 minutes is up and I am still waiting, I cancel. 

[Muscle Lover 2]

If your gut tells you something isn't right, trust it!   No matter how good looking he is!

[Alex93108]

On 11/8/2021 at 1:13 PM, Muscle Lover 2 said:

If your gut tells you something isn't right, trust it!   No matter how good looking he is!

Absolutely. I can usually tell if someone is on something ( often coke ) but I'm too much of a gentleman to send them back.

In my mind, you can send back a steak, ( if its undercooked etc) but not a human being.  

I don't think that's proper, especially  if the dude is already there. I have later come to regret it though.

I wish there was a nice way to do this.  I would say respectfully decline, but offer the guy 50% of the agreed donation amount

Edited November 9, 2021 by jetlow

[Cruiser7]

Just my two cents, @jetlowbut in your negotiations with him, you can specify you’re NOT into P&P and don’t tolerate it. 
You can even be polite and say, “Just so you know, I don’t do any substances at all. A good friend of mine died from an OD and I’ve been clean ever since, so I hope you’re the same.”

Then, if they show up high it’s buh-bye!

 

[LaffingBear]

1. Use common sense.  If something seems to good to be true, it is.  If that inner warning light is flashing,abort.

If I think back on my bad experiences, I can attribute most to my own determination to override that inner voice that told me "this is a bad idea".

2. If starting to feel victimized, have some fortitude.   I've never been physically threatened, but I've had guys try to use intimidation to cheat me.  I'm no big brave guy... but I've taken a deep breath and 

-pulled the car over, gone to the passenger side and yanked out a scammer who wouldn't leave

-picked up the phone in a hotel room and asked for security to rid myself of a problem.

-stood my ground demanding my money back after I paid upon his arrival at my place, then refusal to do anything

-just gotten up and left when at their place, and it's clear they were dishonest.

I'm always surprised when I read reports by guys who conceded defeat very quickly, not want to make a fuss, avoiding confrontation, even following through after arriving to a dishonest description. The bad guys exploit that.  Every situation is different... I'm not advocating placing oneself in danger.  Just don't be a wimp.

 

[harlow]

On 11/8/2021 at 9:08 AM, MikeThomas said:

I hate it when you get to a provider’s place on time (usually an out of town provider staying at a hotel) and are asked to wait 15 minutes. Once that 15 minutes is up and I am still waiting, I cancel. 

I hate this as well. On a couple of occasions I’ve found that this can also  be a way of seeing if you’re legit. For example I was asked to wait in a specific area of the lobby and text when I was there. Coincidentally there was a guy sitting in the vicinity and seemed to text right after I did and I was given the room number. Long story short it turns out it was the provider’s friend being a safety look out. Nothing wrong with that I guess but to your point DO NOT make me wait when I arrive on time. 

[Alex93108]

2 hours ago, harlow said:

I hate this as well. On a couple of occasions I’ve found that this can also  be a way of seeing if you’re legit. For example I was asked to wait in a specific area of the lobby and text when I was there. Coincidentally there was a guy sitting in the vicinity and seemed to text right after I did and I was given the room number. Long story short it turns out it was the provider’s friend being a safety look out. Nothing wrong with that I guess but to your point DO NOT make me wait when I arrive on time. 

This is common especially in places like Russia where gays aren't exactly thrown a red carpet. A safety lookout is part of the hiring process….

[harlow]

35 minutes ago, jetlow said:

This is common especially in places like Russia where gays aren't exactly thrown a red carpet. A safety lookout is part of the hiring process….

No I get it and I really don’t mind it at all if we’re meeting for the first time. I got off topic with my comment anyway. 

[+ glutes]

A Consumer's Guide to Male Hustlers 

https://www.amazon.com/Consumers-Guide-Male-Hustlers/dp/1560239476

[Beancounter]

48 minutes ago, glutes said:

A Consumer's Guide to Male Hustlers 

https://www.amazon.com/Consumers-Guide-Male-Hustlers/dp/1560239476

Published in 1998.  Times may have changed since then.  Information may be outdated considering all the technological changes in the past 23 years. 

[Alex93108]

That’s a historical account ! 

[Beancounter]

There’s no need to shout.

[+ azdr0710]

just bumping this back up.....too good a thread to see fall down the list........

please contribute!!

for those new to hiring providers (escorts), please take a look at these previous threads for advice.....

https://www.companyofmen.org/search/?q=newbie advice&quick=1

Edited February 5, 2022 by azdr0710

[Trick]

Have you ever walked out on an appointment because the provider asked for the money upfront?  I always just pay up.

[+ azdr0710]

17 minutes ago, Trick said:

Have you ever walked out on an appointment because the provider asked for the money upfront?  I always just pay up.

the entire money thing always needs to be agreed to BEFORE the meeting even happens.....tell the provider that you like to pay at the end of the meet, tell him you don't want to talk about money during the meet, then ask him if he is ok with all that.....a client may still need to flash the money to a wary provider, but keep the money in your control until the end....(even if you have to keep it in view in your pants over there on the floor!).....

this obviously only applies to clients/providers meeting for the first time.....trust, it is assumed, develops after a first meet....

no, I've never walked out of a meeting......but I've had to explain to some nervous providers at the beginning that I'm an honest guy and will pay at the end.....and they've never backed out.......

Edited February 5, 2022 by azdr0710

[Trick]

My fear has always been my inability to defend myself if the provider decides to be aggressive in collecting the fee upfront.

[coriolis888]

3 hours ago, Trick said:

My fear has always been my inability to defend myself if the provider decides to be aggressive in collecting the fee upfront.

That does happen every now and again (provider being aggressive about being paid in advance).

[+ glutes]

On 11/8/2021 at 7:08 AM, MikeThomas said:

I hate it when you get to a provider’s place on time (usually an out of town provider staying at a hotel) and are asked to wait 15 minutes. Once that 15 minutes is up and I am still waiting, I cancel. 

Just what Ayrton did with me, except told me to wait 30 minutes. "And I will collect my donation when you arrive"

Double negative, goodbye...

[Leyte2019]

35 minutes ago, coriolis888 said:

That does happen every now and again (provider being aggressive about being paid in advance).

Call me crazy or excessively stubborn, but I would put a portion of the agreed fee on a table and symbolically tear a 50 or 100 into tiny pieces before my exit in that scenario. 

[Guest davebk]

If I walk in and the meeting feels safe and friendly and he asks about payment, I've handed it over, or set it on the dresser proactively.  If he asks for a deposit, or is pushy about "have money ready when you walk in..." I'm out the door.

I will also now very rarely do an incall, primarily because I don't want to be on a website on a hidden camera at some point.  Outcall means I know the only camera possibility is his phone, and I'll usually ask him to put it in his pocket if he has it out.

[+ glutes]

On 11/10/2021 at 11:08 AM, Beancounter said:

Published in 1998.  Times may have changed since then.  Information may be outdated considering all the technological changes in the past 23 years. 

Times have changed how you meet hustlers, but how you deal with them hasn't changed.

[xyz48B]

1. If you feel like they care more about the money than doing what you discussed, they do.

2. You are not an ATM.

3. If you’re unsure about something, ask for a telephone call before any arrangements are made. I’ve decided against meeting based on a telephone call. I have also changed my mind and went with because of a telephone call.

4. Don’t trust the pictures on RM completely.

5. Do not pay up front unless it’s transportation or something you offer to buy for them. I have found that if the guy is decent but wants a deposit, if I explain I was scammed out of multiple thousands of dollars before and no longer do upfront pay or deposits but will buy his transportation or something like a pair of jeans etc., he is more than willing to take that as bond. This goes back to point 1. If money is so important, it’s going to cloud the experience.

6. If you’re looking for something particular, you just need to say it. These guys have heard it all. And if they’re honest, they’ll tell you if you’re a good fit based off that. I’ve learned that there are so many providers that just because one guy won’t do what you’re looking for doesn’t mean someone else won’t.

7. There will always be fresh faces in the RM crop in a couple weeks or months. Don’t act out of desperation and hire just because you think the pool is limited to what you see. Likewise, consider flying or training in talent if you don’t like what you see in your area. Decent guys will accommodate you if you work with them.

[acks01]

38 minutes ago, davebk said:

If I walk in and the meeting feels safe and friendly and he asks about payment, I've handed it over, or set it on the dresser proactively.  If he asks for a deposit, or is pushy about "have money ready when you walk in..." I'm out the door.

I will also now very rarely do an incall, primarily because I don't want to be on a website on a hidden camera at some point.  Outcall means I know the only camera possibility is his phone, and I'll usually ask him to put it in his pocket if he has it out.

While that makes sense, I'd be more worried about having a stranger in my home. If a guy is looking like trouble and you're at his place, it's much easier to make an exit than figure out how to get him to leave your place.

[Cliff]

5 hours ago, xyz48B said:

1. If you feel like they care more about the money than doing what you discussed, they do.

2. You are not an ATM.

3. If you’re unsure about something, ask for a telephone call before any arrangements are made. I’ve decided against meeting based on a telephone call. I have also changed my mind and went with because of a telephone call.

4. Don’t trust the pictures on RM completely.

5. Do not pay up front unless it’s transportation or something you offer to buy for them. I have found that if the guy is decent but wants a deposit, if I explain I was scammed out of multiple thousands of dollars before and no longer do upfront pay or deposits but will buy his transportation or something like a pair of jeans etc., he is more than willing to take that as bond. This goes back to point 1. If money is so important, it’s going to cloud the experience.

6. If you’re looking for something particular, you just need to say it. These guys have heard it all. And if they’re honest, they’ll tell you if you’re a good fit based off that. I’ve learned that there are so many providers that just because one guy won’t do what you’re looking for doesn’t mean someone else won’t.

7. There will always be fresh faces in the RM crop in a couple weeks or months. Don’t act out of desperation and hire just because you think the pool is limited to what you see. Likewise, consider flying or training in talent if you don’t like what you see in your area. Decent guys will accommodate you if you work with them.

I think it’s reasonable to pay a very small deposit to show good faith. I’ve paid $10 or $20 once or twice, and $50 to a well-known porn star who I felt wasn’t likely to take it and run. While some forum members may say “Don’t EVER pay a cent upfront,” I’m comfortable with coughing up a small token. My two cents. 

Edited February 6, 2022 by Cliff