Latest status on payment up front?

[+ StLouisOct]

I spent two hours with an established escort who told me that, more often than not, he requests money up front from clients he doesn’t know. I know there’s a lot of negative feelings here about that practice. It’s all been said. What I’m curious about is whether y’all are experiencing it more often these days.

[RadioRob]

In those situations where I know the person is well reviewed and I’m interested… I typically compromise where I’ll take that amount and set it somewhere where we both see it and say it’s for them after we finish. In those cases it will be the exact amount and I won’t tip extra at the end of the session. If I’m uncomfortable in any way, I’ll gracefully disengage and wish them a good night. 

[+ nycman]

12 hours ago, StLouisOct said:

I spent two hours with an established escort who told me that, more often than not, he requests money up front from clients he doesn’t know.

I rarely, if ever, get this request. 
If I do, I simply break off negotiations immediately. 
He is free to "request". I am free to "decline".
I have never once regretted doing so. 

[MikeBiDude]

12 hours ago, StLouisOct said:

I spent two hours with an established escort who told me that, more often than not, he requests money up front from clients he doesn’t know. I know there’s a lot of negative feelings here about that practice. It’s all been said. What I’m curious about is whether y’all are experiencing it more often these days.

It does seem to be requested a bit more often than before. That said, 99% of the forum readers here would NOT pay up front.

[jtwalker]

Upfront payment is something an undercover cop would request.  Hard pass for me.

[Jay DC]

If I’m using any type of e-payment (cash app, etc.), I ask to pay up front in case there is any issue. I’ve had network issues and issues with any particular site being down for maintenance. And a surprising number of providers who can’t remember their login for the payment.  I don’t use epayments very often, cash is still king.   But if I do, I feel better not wondering if everything is going to be okay. I’ve never had an issue or regret. 
 

I can’t remember if I have ever been asked for money up front—seems sort of tacky. 

[jeezifonly]

Not so different from an engagement ring, really…

[Lord_Oliver]

Absolutely  No! 

[+ StLouisOct]

2 hours ago, Lord_Oliver said:

Absolutely  No! 

Ah, but the question did not ask for yes or no, or whether you’d ever do it. The question is, have you noticed an increase in the use of the practice?

[Lord_Oliver]

36 minutes ago, StLouisOct said:

Ah, but the question did not ask for yes or no, or whether you’d ever do it. The question is, have you noticed an increase in the use of the practice?

Ah, really ? 
The question is, have you noticed an increase in the use of the practice?

can I use the “Maybe” option?

[+ Axiom2001]

To date I have NOT engaged the services of any provider due to the pandemic, and I have been vaxxed.

  Prior to March 2020-- I rarely had escorts request their fee prior to play, something that I definitely prefer.  

When one dines out or have take out-- is money paid upfront?  That practice exists in almost all of our business dealings, so why make exceptions to escorts/masseurs?

When I did have escorts ask for their fee before we began "our fun," the guys have been disappointing to say the least. 

In the future-- if a provider asks me for the fee prior to our getting down to business, I'll show him the money, but  I'm going to decline giving it to him up front. 

I will relate what I've presented in the above.  They'll have to work and please to obtain their agreed to fee.

Edited September 5, 2021 by Axiom2001

[+ keroscenefire]

On 9/2/2021 at 9:10 PM, RadioRob said:

In those situations where I know the person is well reviewed and I’m interested… I typically compromise where I’ll take that amount and set it somewhere where we both see it and say it’s for them after we finish. In those cases it will be the exact amount and I won’t tip extra at the end of the session. If I’m uncomfortable in any way, I’ll gracefully disengage and wish them a good night. 

I have a similar experience. It's funny to me because the guys that request money like that up front often end up being the guys I honestly don't want to tip anyway. They often offer a rushed experience and end up being a one-and-done hire for me. I tip probably 80 percent of the time and almost always when it's a more chill, non-rushed experience when I pay after the encounter. It's like, oh look there's an extra $20 because it was such a nice time. 

[+ friendofsheila]

I remember one guy who was really nice about it, so I didn't have a problem.  He was nice about everything up to that point, so I was okay with it.

[jeezifonly]

Paying for food up front? Pretty safe bet. The food cannot walk away on its own between payment and consumption. I would have to want that provider pretty bad… Like Tommy’s-chili-cheese-fries at 2am bad.

[+ glutes]

I was sans vêtements  and about to commence a session when the provider said "show me the money". I showed him the exit.

 

Moderators' note: When you have a disagreement with a moderator's action(s), please do not air the disagreement in the public forum.

Thank you

[+ Unicorn]

To answer the OP's question, I hired a few escorts between my getting my 2nd shot and my settling down with "Chris." Not one of them asked for the money up-front. As others have said, that would have been a red flag, and would have prompted me to high-tail it. 

[coriolis888]

On 9/3/2021 at 8:25 AM, nycman said:

I rarely, if ever, get this request. 
If I do, I simply break off negotiations immediately. 
He is free to "request". I am free to "decline".
I have never once regretted doing so. 

Great in theory. 

However, what if you get some strong bully who will not take no for an answer after you "decline" the contract you made not knowing that the guy would want money up front?

Is it really worth the risk of a fight or worse?

[coriolis888]

On 9/2/2021 at 8:10 PM, RadioRob said:

In those situations where I know the person is well reviewed and I’m interested… I typically compromise where I’ll take that amount and set it somewhere where we both see it and say it’s for them after we finish. In those cases it will be the exact amount and I won’t tip extra at the end of the session. If I’m uncomfortable in any way, I’ll gracefully disengage and wish them a good night. 

Great in theory. 

However, what if you get some strong bully who will not take no for an answer after you "decline" the contract you made not knowing that the guy would want money up front?

Is it really worth the risk of a fight or worse?

[coriolis888]

Moreover, when a guy asks for money up front and a client refuses and tells the escort to leave, even if the escort changes his mind and agrees to wait for the deed to be done before collecting the fee, the "mood" is often spoiled after an altercation involving money.  

 

Edited September 8, 2021 by coriolis888
spelling error

[+ nycman]

17 minutes ago, coriolis888 said:

Great in theory. 

However, what if you get some strong bully who will not take no for an answer after you "decline" the contract you made not knowing that the guy would want money up front?

Is it really worth the risk of a fight or worse?

Obviously, one must always make assessments about the risks you are willing to take. 
As a well built, alpha-male who cut his punk teeth in the NYC’s East Village in the
late 80’s/early 90’s, I realize that my risk tolerance may be higher than some others.
Nonetheless, I also understand that none of us is stronger than a bullet to our brain.

Life is full of tough choices. 

In general, I was speaking about cutting off contact when an escort brings up 
"payment up front" during our pre-meeting discussions. On the exceedingly 
rare occasion that an escort has waited until the date has commenced to 
announce his policy, I have no problem immediately stopping the date and
showing him the door. You are dealing with a scam artist. You should treat
him accordingly. 

Yes, one or two have briefly acted like they were going to cause a scene, 
but they all quickly thought better of it. It helps if you learn not to flinch. 

[RadioRob]

43 minutes ago, coriolis888 said:

Great in theory. 

However, what if you get some strong bully who will not take no for an answer after you "decline" the contract you made not knowing that the guy would want money up front?

Is it really worth the risk of a fight or worse?

As soon as it turns into a strong arm situation, the encounter is not happening.  I'm personally no longer interested and I'm looking to leave ASAP.  If I have to, I'll hit the panic button on my phone (on an iPhone, tap the side button 5 times).  If I feel imminent threat, I'll make use of the mace that is in my pocket and the self defense classes I've taken if he attempts to put his hands on me despite my rejection.  It's going to be far worse for him than it is for me so if he wants to be the one explaining things to security or the police while I'm there insisting that charges be pressed, that's going to be on him.  

[+ StLouisOct]

I hate to bore everyone, but how about addressing the question. Have you experienced the pay up front request more often recently? Let’s say in the past year. Of course, you  and I don’t like the practice, but have you seen that practice happen more often?

[+ nycman]

Just now, StLouisOct said:

I hate to bore everyone, but how about addressing the question. Have you experienced the pay up front request more often recently?

No.

[coriolis888]

1 hour ago, RadioRob said:

As soon as it turns into a strong arm situation, the encounter is not happening.  I'm personally no longer interested and I'm looking to leave ASAP.  If I have to, I'll hit the panic button on my phone (on an iPhone, tap the side button 5 times).  If I feel imminent threat, I'll make use of the mace that is in my pocket and the self defense classes I've taken if he attempts to put his hands on me despite my rejection.  It's going to be far worse for him than it is for me so if he wants to be the one explaining things to security or the police while I'm there insisting that charges be pressed, that's going to be on him.  

Logical.

However, I can imagine an embarrassing situation if you are in a hotel and the guy starts being difficult insisting on money up front or refusing to leave without being paid for his time coming to keep the appointment you two had.

  

[RadioRob]

He can insist all he wants.  As soon as he refuses to leave or allow me to leave it turns into a situation of either trespass or kidnap.  Either way, if it ever came to THAT situation, it's about to become a lot worse for him as I *will* be pressing charges.  

With all of that said, I've never had the situation escalate that far.  Most people that have met me would agree that I'm generally a pretty nice guy and get along with everyone.  (I would like to think so at least!)  However the one thing I won't stand for is a bully...  either to my friends or to myself.