Monday - meh!

[BtmBearDad]

I posted back a while ago now that I had nabbed a cheap first class ticket on BA r/t to London that I was planning to use this week. I was soooo looking forward to a few weeks away, seeing family and friends I haven’t seen since late 2019-early 2020, taking quick cheap flights to here and there, reacquainting myself with a few providers, etc.. But alas, due to work and personal reasons, I’m still in NYC 😩

So while my boss and his partner are swanning around Greece and the Med for the next 6 weeks, I’m here holding down the fort. Mind you, I don’t begrudge them at all - he and his partner are really sweet men. Plus, it is pretty sweet having the CEO as an out, gay man. But I’d be lying if I said I didn’t wish it was me on vacation now. 
 

I don’t know if it’s the normal Monday meh feeling, or covid fatigue, or reading about new lockdowns, or a combination, or what. But I’m just feeling it all today. Truthfully have been since last week - it’s just gotten more intense day by day. So much so, my usual “pick me ups” - a few drinks, some time with a provider or FWB, haven’t done the trick. 

Its been 18 months now since I’ve left the state - even during that time I haven’t really gone farther than spending some time out East. Even business travel is still on pause. I was meant to go to Moscow in late November, but that’s be shelved now. I do have a wedding in FL in early November I thought I’d go to, and extend for a few days of fun in Miami/Ft Lauderdale, but who knows what FL will look like by then. 

I guess I’m wondering if any of you gents have gotten to this point, and how you coped, are coping, got out of it. It just feels like the past nearly 2 years have just been a waste in so many ways, and I’m not seeing any changes to that anytime soon. 
I think I was pushing myself thru all the ups and downs that come with covid with the thought “just get thru this lad, you’ll be in London in late Aug/early Sept, Florida in late Oct/early Nov, and Moscow in late Nov/early Dec” but now that those carrots are gone, it’s just a stick offering noting. 
 

Ah well - I’m sure this too will pass, and I do fully recognise things could be far worse too. 

Thanks for listening to me vent. 
 

BBD

[Luv2play]

It's good to vent. Get things off your chest. 

We are all in different places and circumstances but a few things remain the same. The pandemic has resulted in plans thrown out, lives disrupted, losses that are only now been reckoned. I have tried to adjust in anticipation of where things are going. So far so good. 

While my travel has been restricted in the last 18 months, there has been a little to Toronto. I am planning to visit Montreal soon. I have had a number of providers visit me. 

While not ideal, the current situation is tolerable for me. I take advantage of opportunities as they arise. Two providers are coming through town this week and are dropping in to pay a visit. The week will be complete. Two weeks ago I had a visit from another escort driving through and it was delightful.

[+ Lucky]

For those of us who are older, the idea that we may never travel again rises up. It's pretty disheartening. I remain optimistic anyway, but I do wonder if I will use all of my hotel points and frequent flier miles. So many places I want to go. Even if COVID gets controlled, will I be able physically to handle long trips? I dunno.

 

[Mjonis]

I hear/feel your pain.  I LOVE to travel (outside the USA).  I haven't been anywhere in 3 years.  My honeymoon/bucket list to the Maldives has been destroyed twice, and a rather high cost (financially and emotionally).  I have now come to accept the fact that travel will never happen.  We will be in a constant changing lock-down/random rules/regulations, IMO.  So I'm focusing my efforts elsewhere.

For you lucky few that will be able to travel, please enjoy it and take advantage of it for as long as you can.

For now I'm slowly learning to live with the new reality and will just focus on work and home repair projects from now on.

[+ Charlie]

Whenever I am unhappy, bored, frustrated, etc., travel has always been my drug of choice. For the first time in my adult life, that option has been unavailable, and I have not been to any of the places I had originally  planned to go during the past 18 months (visiting friends and family in Philly, DC, and London; two family weddings in Ohio; driving holidays in the Pacific Northwest; even short getaways to nearby cities). At the beginning of this month I planned a ten day drive up the coast to places both familiar and never visited before, but it proved unexpectedly stressful, and we were back home after only four nights. This will be the first year in the eighteen years I have lived in California that I don't expect to leave the state. Not knowing when or if the kind of carefree traveling I was accustomed to will be available again in the future--half of the fun of travel is the planning and anticipation--is the most depressing aspect for me, because I am even older than Lucky, and my spouse is ancient.

I feel your pain, but it sounds like it is probably only temporary for you young folks.

1 hour ago, Lucky said:

For those of us who are older, the idea that we may never travel again rises up. It's pretty disheartening. I remain optimistic anyway, but I do wonder if I will use all of my hotel points and frequent flier miles. So many places I want to go. Even if COVID gets controlled, will I be able physically to handle long trips? I dunno.

 

 

[Luv2play]

I agree with Charlie that planning a vacation trip and making the arrangements is half the fun. So not having any prospects for another international trip on the horizon, I am limiting my holidays to small weekend trips to Montreal and Toronto. Haven’t been to Montreal since the pandemic struck since interprovincial travel was restricted until now. So have two fall trips planned.

I’ve had a number of escorts visit me in my small town from Toronto over the last year and a half so that’s been ok but I miss staying at hotels, restaurants and things to see and do in the big cities.

As for overseas travel or even to the States, the COVID situation is still too variable to make firm plans. So I just dream about which place I may go to first. Given my age, each year that passes results in certain places where I have never been before being reluctantly dropped from any planning at all. I am more likely to revisit places and countries I already know quite well since planning will be easier and there will always be things to see and do which I haven’t yet experienced. 
 

I love my daily life but travel has always been a nice spice to break the daily routines. It’s hard to give up.

[maninsoma]

The past year and a half has been challenging for most people.  The way I've handled my frustrations is to be thankful that I (a) didn't lose my job so I've had no income/housing insecurity and (b) did not get ill or, worse yet, die.  I find it helps to put things in perspective.  Glass half full versus glass half empty, as it were. 

[mike carey]

13 hours ago, Lucky said:

For those of us who are older, the idea that we may never travel again rises up. It's pretty disheartening. I remain optimistic anyway, but I do wonder if I will use all of my hotel points and frequent flier miles. So many places I want to go. Even if COVID gets controlled, will I be able physically to handle long trips? I dunno.

Thanks for that little message of hope! 😉

The thought that being a certain age as I am, travel abroad may never be possible again is there, but I remain optimistic, perhaps pollyanna-ish. My spell checker suggested I meant polyandry, but I digress. The messaging from our political leaders (with varying degrees of believability) and public health officials is hopeful. For a long time I had been looking at the accumulation of my FF and hotel reward points more to see what the various programs were doing to help preserve them and extend elite status rather than to see what I might do with them. At present I am in the ACT and can't leave, every other state has closed its borders to travellers from here, or requires a permit to go there.

Even so, lately I have started to look at how flight availability is opening up and what prices are. I have been looking at premium economy and business class seats rather than start at economy. I guess that reflects a change in my attitude, from travelling economically to ensure I could continue to do so for longer, to 'use it while you can'. As I have mentioned before in other threads, my last planned travel was for the PS weekend last year, and I still have a QF credit for the cancelled airfare (validity now extended until 31 Dec 23). I had a flurry of trips to Sydney before the Delta outbreak happened in June (yes I did hire once) but that's a faint memory now.

In all that, I haven't had an attack of ennui. I can walk around the suburb, shop easily within walking distance of my home and live a pleasant, if sequestered life. Today is the first day of spring, it's a brilliant cloud-free day and 23°, what's not to like. I remain optimistic that the new normal (or is that new abnormal?) will include travel. We've been shut, but I've seen (constrained) travel happening in Europe and North America, and the narrative here is shifting towards that. I actually bought some Amtrak miles to stop my small balance from expiring. Now, if you'll forgive me, I must be off to check on that cheap JAL business class ticket to Palm Springs I saw on Amex Travel, my new favourite, for next April. Not ready to buy it yet, but I now entertain the possibility I may be able to.

[BtmBearDad]

Thank you @Luv2play, @Lucky, @Mjonis, @Charlie, @maninsoma, @mike carey for your replies! 🤗

I definitely had/am having a wobble over everything. I spoke at length with one of my good friends last night. We’re both in the same cohort age wise, and he’s also feeling the emotional and mental drain of the past 18 months more acutely now. So it was a bit of comfort to chat with him, and now see all your replies, and know I’m not unique in having these feelings. 

The lack, or more properly the denial of being able to travel where I want definitely hurts. I turned 50 in 2020, so there were 2 European jaunts planned with friends to celebrate that summer. Of course, those plans went the way of the dodo. But even then, I was happy enough to postpone until summer 2021, which never happened, which was why I was so looking forward to my London trip. Even with one of my ever optimistic friends saying “don’t worry, we’ll do it next year!” I couldn’t help but think “will we ever be able to?”

Its not even just traveling for pleasure - most of my family live overseas. Both my parents are gone, and my aunties and uncles left are pushing 80 or well into their 80’s now. I wonder will I ever see them again? I’ve had to watch 3 funerals online from overseas that I would have normally flown over for (none from covid tho) I don’t want to think that’s how it’s going to be going forward. Even happy events I’ve missed - I was asked to be godfather to my cousin’s youngest born Sept 2020, she put off the christening until early 2021 thinking “things will be sorted by then”, of course they weren’t so there’s me on FaceTime for the christening. It’s depressing to even think I may not see family, friends outside of FaceTime or Zoom again. 

I really feel bad for my niece and nephew, who both started uni in September 2019 - covid has laid waste to what should have been some of the best years of their lives. But instead they’ve had two years, and all those experiences stripped away from them, and they can’t get any of it back. 

Of course, I know I have it much better than many others. I’m alive, employed, housed. Even so, I don’t think it’s unreasonable for me -or anyone- to be beyond frustrated that this is where we are 18+ months later. 
So much for “flattening the curve”. 

Engaging in this hobby again has helped, but it’s a temporary fix. Some weeks I’ll engage a few times, some weeks not at all, and sometimes I just think “why bother”. 

I do think part of my growing frustration, meh, ennui, etc. stems from the fact the goalposts keep shifting. There seems to be no plan about how to live with covid. We are always hearing “it’s here to stay like the flu”, but without any roadmap, plan on how to resume normal life. I just have less and less patience for the restrictions anymore. 

Anyway, thanks again for your replies, gents! And thanks for listening to my rambling rant/vent. I’m sure this wobble will pass, and I keep all manner of appendages crossed that normalcy will return sooner rather than later for all of us 🙏🏻🤞🏻🙏🏻🤞🏻
 

BBD