How To Communicate?

[jtwalker]

Thanks everyone for the great advice.

[xyz48B]

That rule is more reserved for realistic safety situations. In the case of the quoted concern, it’s merely just a case of communication.

That rule is the No. 1 rule and if you don’t believe so, I would strongly caution any potential client against meeting you.

 

If a client feels uncomfortable, they should not meet. How is that even something you’d argue against? Red flags are there for a reason...It has nothing to do with communication style per se. The guy didn’t communicate in a way that made him feel comfortable. Don’t meet. Full stop. Clients are under NO obligation of to meet...Just as escorts are under no obligation to meet. The rule applies equally to both. Safety begins with the decisions made around being comfortable with communication.

Edited December 4, 2020 by xyz48B

[jtwalker]

I realize that different guys have differing opinions on this, but I'm curious what is more common.

 

Is it better to make contact well in advance, or when I'm getting ready to jump in the car?

[+ poolboy48220]

Another topic where you ask 10 guys and you'll get 11 different answers :-)

 

If it's someone out of town, with an ad saying they'll be in my city sometime in the near future, I'll contact them to let them know I'm interested when they get here. If he's local, I'll usually ask when he's available, and that I'm available that day (or immediately) if that works for him.

[Jarrod_Uncut]

That rule is the No. 1 rule and if you don’t believe so, I would strongly caution any potential client against meeting you.

 

If a client feels uncomfortable, they should not meet. How is that even something you’d argue against? Red flags are there for a reason...It has nothing to do with communication style per se. The guy didn’t communicate in a way that made him feel comfortable. Don’t meet. Full stop. Clients are under NO obligation of to meet...Just as escorts are under no obligation to meet. The rule applies equally to both. Safety begins with the decisions made around being comfortable with communication.

 

You sound effing ridiculous right about now. Nothing in the previous person's quote alluded to a safety concern. All he said was it seemed too straightforward. He also added that English was maybe not his first language. Nothing about that seemed to imply imminent danger. Therefore your statement re: if you feel uncomfortable don't meet, is not applicable there. You're mistaking uncomfortable as judgmental, which you seem to be the poster child of.

 

Now, had you said: if you are uncomfortable, say you need more information or talk over the phone to meet...then I woulda been like, sure. But to flat out dismiss by saying don't meet, just comes off like a dick.

 

And I say that because dicks usually do shit like that: I've had guys claim to have arrived to my hotel, gotten my room number, and then say; "sorry I got spooked/uncomfortable". Then I'm like, what the hell???

[xyz48B]

You sound effing ridiculous right about now. Nothing in the previous person's quote alluded to a safety concern. All he said was it seemed too straightforward. He also added that English was maybe not his first language. Nothing about that seemed to imply imminent danger. Therefore your statement re: if you feel uncomfortable don't meet, is not applicable there. You're mistaking uncomfortable as judgmental, which you seem to be the poster child of.

 

Now, had you said: if you are uncomfortable, say you need more information or talk over the phone to meet...then I woulda been like, sure. But to flat out dismiss by saying don't meet, just comes off like a dick.

 

And I say that because dicks usually do shit like that: I've had guys claim to have arrived to my hotel, gotten my room number, and then say; "sorry I got spooked/uncomfortable". Then I'm like, what the hell???

No. 1 rule is if you’re uncomfortable, don’t meet. End of the day.

 

No one needs to justify why they’re uncomfortable. Neither escort nor client owe each other an explanation if one party is uncomfortable.

[thenightawa]

You sound effing ridiculous right about now. Nothing in the previous person's quote alluded to a safety concern. All he said was it seemed too straightforward. He also added that English was maybe not his first language. Nothing about that seemed to imply imminent danger. Therefore your statement re: if you feel uncomfortable don't meet, is not applicable there. You're mistaking uncomfortable as judgmental, which you seem to be the poster child of.

 

Now, had you said: if you are uncomfortable, say you need more information or talk over the phone to meet...then I woulda been like, sure. But to flat out dismiss by saying don't meet, just comes off like a dick.

 

And I say that because dicks usually do shit like that: I've had guys claim to have arrived to my hotel, gotten my room number, and then say; "sorry I got spooked/uncomfortable". Then I'm like, what the hell???

 

So, in my case, what do you suggest me to do? He didn’t ask anything from me. What should I say to revitalize the convo? And when do I start to acknowledge those as red flags. Thanks.

[Jarrod_Uncut]

I realize that different guys have differing opinions on this, but I'm curious what is more common.

 

Is it better to make contact well in advance, or when I'm getting ready to jump in the car?

 

You just answered the question. What works for one isn’t going to work for another. Matter of fact: what may work for the same guy 1 day, may not work for him the next day. Or even next part of day.

 

example: if you contact me when I’m at work wanting to meet when you’re getting in the car, I’m going to tell you to get out the car, and go back inside. But if you contact say...it’s in the evening and my ad says “available now”, then I may take your request. AND, that assumes the escort can even host, which many clients seem to assume we are, which is not always the case.

 

People expect us to be ready to host them with hardly no notice. But, those same people aren’t able to host us with such short notice, if ever at all. So I’ve had to drop most of the “can I come over right now” brigade.

[jeezifonly]

I’m not an impulse buyer. I do my research (including here) and have 2-3 providers operating in my city under consideration.

When I know my availability for, say, the next week, I’ll text expressing interest and ask how much in advance they discuss booking. Then I go with that, and say “Thx, you’ll hear from me on Tuesday, then. Can’t wait”

 

Some profiles say “book ahead” and mean one day, some mean two-three days. Some mean 2 hours. This step clarifies.

[Jarrod_Uncut]

So, in my case, what do you suggest me to do? He didn’t ask anything from me. What should I say to revitalize the convo? And when do I start to acknowledge those as red flags. Thanks.

 

Ask him: is there anything else you need to know from me? Or better yet, ask him to give you more details about himself. What is it more that you feel you need to know?

 

I had a client who I’ve met before who did everything perfectly on our 1st meet (booked in advance, sent deposit, showed up, was a great fuck), but on a recent follow up to meet again, I was getting the 1 or 2 word quick replies. Nothing bad, and I can see how it can seem iffy, but it’s not anything to be uncomfortable about. Turns out he was just busy. Now... whether or not it turns into a next appointment, we have to see. But I’m hoping the short sentences weren’t just going along with it.

[Jarrod_Uncut]

Some profiles say “book ahead” and mean one day, some mean two-three days. Some mean 2 hours. This step clarifies.

 

I can attest. In my ad I say 24 hours notice preferred (Mainly to host), but two hours notice minimum. I’ve had to put that because I don’t need 24 hours notice to go to someone’s hotel, but don’t text me at 2:45 asking to meet at 3:00 because you’ve got a meeting at 4:00. That’s just being disorganized and inconsiderate... and there needs to be more tact to it.

 

I used to had to counsel clients about that all the time, nowadays I put it in writing before they even contact. The running around like a headless ? days are over for me.