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How To Communicate?


jtwalker
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So far, communication has been very difficult for me. First off, I'm a bit shy so its a challenge to talk to sexy men anyway. I am also not sure when and what to say.

 

A couple of times, the one-word answer, how much and where conversations have actually worked out.

 

Many other times, the lack of clarity has lead to very boring encounters. I've found that many profiles are not accurate in terms of likes.

 

Saying too much ahead of time seems risky, but its frustrating playing escort-roulette. From what I understand, escorts are frequently inundated with pointless conversation from time-wasters, so I also understand the one word answers and reluctance to invest much into a conversation.

 

What is the protocol for effective communication?

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once you know what u want to experience with the provider, would recommend the following:

  • be clear and state what you want to happen with your encounter if the provider asks you, "into?"
  • once you have stated the above, ask for confirmation if there is anything in what you said that he would not be into (either respect that, or if a non-negotiable for you, promptly and politely let the provider you pass).
  • if you are just naturally shy (which believe me, I am) upon meeting the person for the first time, you can tell him beforehand that you can be shy and awkward at first meet and no shame in asking if he could help get the encounter started.

I guess I have had situations where the combo of the above worked and did not work, but definitely saved me, for the most part, some money if I had some non-negotiable they were not willing to deliver. I have since not been too explicit or detailed with my 'into's' but being clear and detailed during the first few times I met providers definitely helped me out. hope that helps.

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@JoeMendoza gives good advice

 

The trick to communication is "taking care of business" while not being viewed as a "time waster". I usually try to take care of business in 2-3 txts:

  1. Hey, is this <name>? Saw you profile on RM and interested. Jack here. (establishes contact, intent and also you are texting the right person before giving away "too much" detail)
  2. Looking for.....[be complete but concise about the experience you are looking for, 3-5 sentences OK]. Are we a match? [include dates/times if you have specific constraints, like you are out of town and only have one night available]. THIS is the response you scrutinize carefully. BTW nearly all will SAY they will provide the scenario you are looking for, now you need to decipher their intent. Like, are they really a bottom? Or a top willing to bottom (and perhaps not really enjoying it)?
  3. What the the rate for your time only? 60 90 and 120 min.

If at this point you think you have a match, you can delve into more questions. Point is, 1st 3 texts will get the providers attention and confirm you are not a wanker and a time waster, and know what you are doing. I'd avoid 10 more questions, but this is the time to clear up anything not yet clear including the date/time of your meeting if you decide to move forward.

 

Once established, it's OK to send a few txts "looking forward to our meeting ?" or similar. Just don't be annoying. If you scheduled in advance best to (1) confirm the day/night before then (2) confirm the day of but a few hours before.

 

Providers are barraged all day long with creeps, straight wankers and time wasters who have no intention on closing the deal. You want to stand out from that pack and get started on the right foot.....leading to an exceptional experience ?

 

Hope this helps

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In regards to you being shy, you have no need to hold back or feel as you are judged. As a provider, you are my client and I am there for your needs. Everything is on the table as a possibility, without judgement. The worst that can happen is a provider says no.

 

I believe most people are coming with the intention of sexual fulfillment. As long as the request don’t hurt anyone else, there is no harm in asking for what you want.

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You can choose not to see a provider if they aren't communicating much. I get that they may have a lot of potential clients messaging them, timewasters who don't plan on meeting etc. but part of securing appointments in customer service is being an effective communicator.

 

I don't want endless idle chat either, but at bare minimum a provider should be able to discuss what they're into and give off a good vibe of being friendly and excited to meet you.

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part of securing appointments in customer service is being an effective communicator.

 

I don't want endless idle chat either, but at bare minimum a provider should be able to discuss what they're into and give off a good vibe of being friendly and excited to meet you.

This. All this.

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How many unique sets of fingerprints are there? What one provider finds too much another wouldn’t bat an eye at.

Exactly! I like when providers offer detail about themselves.... what they like and/or if they have specialties. It makes it easier to communicate without tripping on a boundary.

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Saying too much ahead of time seems risky, but its frustrating playing escort-roulette. From what I understand, escorts are frequently inundated with pointless conversation from time-wasters, so I also understand the one word answers and reluctance to invest much into a conversation.

 

What is the protocol for effective communication?

 

You've been given some great advice above from @JoeMendoza and @JEC. I would echo their suggestions by adding that as a provider, I'm 100% grateful to receive a longer message, when it's of the form suggested above, which saves us both time and energy in the end. If you offer this sort of message and get equivocal or one-word messages back, I'd move on.

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I agree with everyone on here. Be clear and state exactly what you want and don’t want. It is like a roving reporter asking questions. Find out if they have some of the same things in common such as music and elegant dinners. Before you meet your escort take a few deep breaths and relax. I been around escorts who can talk a storm and escorts who are scared stiff or speak when spoken to.

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Providers are barraged all day long with creeps, straight wankers and time wasters who have no intention on closing the deal. You want to stand out from that pack and get started on the right foot.....leading to an exceptional experience ?

 

Hope this helps

 

100% and to add...some of us just may simply be busy. In case anyone doesn’t understand, it’s hard waiting day by day, hour per hour for a booking to come thru. And for the most part, I don’t really do that unless I’m traveling someplace specifically for appointments.

 

Even though there’s a sense of freedom in our ventures, that doesn’t mean we are constantly free. I wish I could get someone “now” when I’m ready, but reality has it that unless you’re in a prime and busy market, or actually out in person advertising...most days are spent just trying to find ways to stay occupied and not fixated on when the next client is going to come. So when someone reaches out and wants instant attention by sending lots of texts, going ??? when they only sent the message 3 minutes ago, and commanding immediate attention, it just sets the wrong tone.

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100% and to add...some of us just may simply be busy. In case anyone doesn’t understand, it’s hard waiting day by day, hour per hour for a booking to come thru. And for the most part, I don’t really do that unless I’m traveling someplace specifically for appointments.

 

Even though there’s a sense of freedom in our ventures, that doesn’t mean we are constantly free. I wish I could get someone “now” when I’m ready, but reality has it that unless you’re in a prime and busy market, or actually out in person advertising...most days are spent just trying to find ways to stay occupied and not fixated on when the next client is going to come. So when someone reaches out and wants instant attention by sending lots of texts, going ??? when they only sent the message 3 minutes ago, and commanding immediate attention, it just sets the wrong tone.

Good point. Escorts and clients all have lives that we are keeping up with. With some of the escorts that I know are not working right that much because of COVID. I still have dinner with one of them every few months. I check in on the others every few days to make sure they are doing all right.

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Good point. Escorts and clients all have lives that we are keeping up with. With some of the escorts that I know are not working right that much because of COVID. I still have dinner with one of them every few months. I check in on the others every few days to make sure they are doing all right.

 

Exactly. And so one can only imagine why it becomes distracting when someone...or a string of people, ditch out.

 

I am appreciative that Rentmen has developed covid safe/freeze mode, and I'd guess many guys are using it wisely. I am using it right now for my Rentmen ad because, I had it up all holiday weekend and got nothing but a tentative booking in the next town over, who cancelled anyway. So I'm not fixing to be wasting billing hours, just letting an ad run, if there's nothing coming from it locally.

 

I have been freezing my ad for like a week or 2 at a time, but not much longer. It's just enough time to de-advertise during days when I need to handle other real life stuff, and not in the position to host or travel across the city last minute. And with the exception of 1 client the other night, this just happens to be that week.

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I agree with everyone on here. Be clear and state exactly what you want and don’t want. It is like a roving reporter asking questions. Find out if they have some of the same things in common such as music and elegant dinners. Before you meet your escort take a few deep breaths and relax. I been around escorts who can talk a storm and escorts who are scared stiff or speak when spoken to.

I’m always surprised how much providers reveal about their families and personal life. I consider myself fortunate that they feel comfortable with me. It’s one of the non-sexual parts of the hobby that I enjoy. Lots of daddy issues for sure.

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I’m always surprised how much providers reveal about their families and personal life. I consider myself fortunate that they feel comfortable with me. It’s one of the non-sexual parts of the hobby that I enjoy. Lots of daddy issues for sure.

I genuinely like to get to know people. Particularly interesting people.

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I just reached out to a provider and the convo was..I don't know...too straightforward? He only gave me single word answers. Understandably that english might be his second language, but he didn't even ask me anything on his end.

 

Basically, it goes: "Friday?" "Yes" "When?" "6". And that's the end of the convo.

 

Should I follow up with him more, or?

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I just reached out to a provider and the convo was..I don't know...too straightforward? He only gave me single word answers. Understandably that english might be his second language, but he didn't even ask me anything on his end.

 

Basically, it goes: "Friday?" "Yes" "When?" "6". And that's the end of the convo.

 

Should I follow up with him more, or?

No. 1 rule – if you feel uncomfortable, don’t meet.

 

That said, I wouldn’t given that exchange. This is the kind of exchange that leads to “constant texting,” in my opinion. I’m looking for more than sex, so I need more to know it’s going to work. We end up wasting time because information is not forthcoming...or easy. Also – why would I give you my money or let you fuck me if you can’t communicate with me?

 

Apropos tangent – I will ask an escort I’m booked with if it’s alright to text more than about the meetup before we meet. If he’s not into it, I only check in periodically. If he says he’s fine with it, then I feel it’s okay. I hope he’s honest with me!

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No. 1 rule – if you feel uncomfortable, don’t meet

 

That rule is more reserved for realistic safety situations. In the case of the quoted concern, it’s merely just a case of communication.

 

If everyone didn’t meet because of a difference in writing styles, or planning styles, or having shy/uncomfortable moments...nobody would ever get laid.

Edited by Jarrod_Uncut
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