Do I Need to Disclose My Race?

[The_Impeccable_G]

I am of an ethnicity that is generally considered less than desirable in the gay community. I've faced sexual and non-sexual racial discrimination on many occasions in my life. It doesn't feel great. This is one of the many reasons I considering hiring an escort. I want to be able to connect with men that normally would not give me the time of day because of my race.

 

However, I guess I am being naive in assuming a financial incentive would completely eliminate a person's racial bias. Would the escorts still go forward with your session with them regardless of your race? How do you navigate this?

Having preferences is not racism. My best friend adores Asians to the point we make fun at him. Another friend likes BBC. I do not like sexually either. Same as I do not like hairy. Does this make me a racist? It is just a sexual preference. Same as If I say that I am 100% btm does not make me a racist.

 

Escorts are people and have their sexual preferences as all of us. It is better to communicate before and find a good match than having a bad experience.

[Monarchy79]

I'm white and I expect to use the entire hour.

Exactly... shame on those black clients for not allowing some slick provider to cheat him on time.... shame!!! ???

[tj_forplay]

Having preferences is not racism. My best friend adores Asians to the point we make fun at him. Another friend likes BBC. I do not like sexually either. Same as I do not like hairy. Does this make me a racist? It is just a sexual preference. Same as If I say that I am 100% btm does not make me a racist.

 

Escorts are people and have their sexual preferences as all of us. It is better to communicate before and find a good match than having a bad experience.

 

When you look at race as a fetish, you begin to cross over to the offensive/racism side. BBC isn't a race. What's funny about Liking Asians? Liking or disliking hairy guys or even bottoming is completely different from liking or disliking skin color.

[Monarchy79]

Having preferences is not racism. My best friend adores Asians to the point we make fun at him. Another friend likes BBC. I do not like sexually either. Same as I do not like hairy. Does this make me a racist? It is just a sexual preference. Same as If I say that I am 100% btm does not make me a racist.

 

Escorts are people and have their sexual preferences as all of us. It is better to communicate before and find a good match than having a bad experience.

 

Bless your heart....

 

The preferences isn’t what makes a person racist.... the ideologies behind their preferences is what makes them racist...

 

let’s examine your post:

 

“Another friend likes BBC”.... You couldn’t even identify him as a man, a person or a human being, just a big black phallic... if that’s all you see when you see a black man, then you obviously wouldn’t be attracted to them...

 

To minimize racial “preferences”, to the preference of a guy’s level of hairiness is Comparing apples and oranges....

 

Ask yourself why you don’t like blacks and Asians sexually, and introspectively address every single assumption, stereotype, image, and belief you have about them...This will tell you far more about yourself, and your “preferences”,

Edited July 31, 2020 by Monarchy79

[Monarchy79]

Having preferences is not racism. My best friend adores Asians to the point we make fun at him. Another friend likes BBC. I do not like sexually either. Same as I do not like hairy. Does this make me a racist? It is just a sexual preference. Same as If I say that I am 100% btm does not make me a racist.

 

Escorts are people and have their sexual preferences as all of us. It is better to communicate before and find a good match than having a bad experience.

The term “preference”, is just a current, “softer”, term for prejudice....

 

Let’s just call “preference” what it really is.....

 

DIET RACISM

 

or

 

RACISM-“LITE”

[The_Impeccable_G]

The term “preference”, is just a current, “softer”, term for prejudice....

 

Let’s just call “preference” what it really is.....

 

DIET RACISM

 

or

 

RACISM-“LITE”

I think its obvious that I refer to sexual preferences.

[Palidod]

Having preferences is not racism. My best friend adores Asians to the point we make fun at him. Another friend likes BBC. I do not like sexually either. Same as I do not like hairy. Does this make me a racist? It is just a sexual preference. Same as If I say that I am 100% btm does not make me a racist.

 

Escorts are people and have their sexual preferences as all of us. It is better to communicate before and find a good match than having a bad experience.

https://psycnet.apa.org/record/2015-30734-001

 

"In May 2011, 2177 gay and bisexual men in Australia participated in an online survey that assessed how acceptably they viewed online sexual racism. Although the men sampled displayed diverse attitudes, many were remarkably tolerant of sexual racism. We conducted two multiple linear regression analyses to compare factors related to men’s attitudes toward sexual racism online and their racist attitudes more broadly. Almost every identified factor associated with men’s racist attitudes was also related to their attitudes toward sexual racism. The only differences were between men who identified as Asian or Indian. Sexual racism, therefore, is closely associated with generic racist attitudes, which challenges the idea of racial attraction as solely a matter of personal preference."

[rvwnsd]

I am of an ethnicity that is generally considered less than desirable in the gay community. I've faced sexual and non-sexual racial discrimination on many occasions in my life. It doesn't feel great. This is one of the many reasons I considering hiring an escort. I want to be able to connect with men that normally would not give me the time of day because of my race.

 

However, I guess I am being naive in assuming a financial incentive would completely eliminate a person's racial bias. Would the escorts still go forward with your session with them regardless of your race? How do you navigate this?

I don't think race/ethnicity/whatever-you-want-to-call-it is something one "discloses." If you feel like providing your stats, do it. Like others have said, if not providing information about your ethnicity causes you to worry or stress, then tell the escort.

 

I am 6'4," all arms and legs, and awkward and clumsy as hell. The "I've fallen and I can't get up people" should be salivating at the business I will bring them when I get to be a certain age. Since some sexual positions can be difficult (I have bad knees to boot) and some guys have an issue with a height differential, I always mention my height and lack of grace. I have had escorts turn me down because they felt I was too tall for them and others who have delighted at the challenge of, in one guy's words, climbing that mountain. If an escort does not want you as a client it is better to find out during the booking process than when you meet him,.

[Monarchy79]

Having preferences is not racism. My best friend adores Asians to the point we make fun at him. Another friend likes BBC. I do not like sexually either. Same as I do not like hairy.

 

Interesting how you don’t like Asians, but you also don’t like hairy... Dude... Asians are the least hairy ethnic group of all humanity...?

 

But I guess if you have to choose between a hairy White guy, and a hairless Asian... then like “rock, paper, scissors” of “preferences”.... it’s race over hairiness.... ?

[The_Impeccable_G]

Bless your heart....

 

The preferences isn’t what makes a person racist.... the ideologies behind their preferences is what makes them racist...

 

let’s examine your post:

 

“Another friend likes BBC”.... You couldn’t even identify him as a man, a person or a human being, just a big black phallic... if that’s all you see when you see a black man, then you obviously wouldn’t be attracted to them...

 

To minimize racial “preferences”, to the preference of a guy’s level of hairiness is Comparing apples and oranges....

 

Ask yourself why you don’t like blacks andAsians sexually, and introspectively address every single assumption, stereotype, image, and belief you have about them...This will tell you fat more about yourself, and your “preferences”,

You are too sensitive about this. If I knew I would write "Another friend likes blacks". Happy now?

As for me, I like caucasian blonds probably because my first experience was with a blond Dutch boy we shared a room at boarding school. I am not going to work on changing my sexual preferences. I prefer to enjoy them.

[Monarchy79]

I think its obvious that I refer to sexual preferences.

 

My Dear...

 

There’s no difference....

[The_Impeccable_G]

Interesting how you don’t like Asians, but you also don’t like hairy... Dude... Asians are the least hairy ethnic group of all humanity...?

 

But I guess if you have to choose between a hairy White guy, and a hairless Asian... then like “rock, paper, scissors” of “preferences”.... it’s race over hairiness.... ?

I would choose neither. You are going nuts about this.

[Monarchy79]

You are too sensitive about this. If I knew I would write "Another friend likes blacks". Happy now?

As for me, I like caucasian blonds probably because my first experience was with a blond Dutch boy we shared a room at boarding school. I am not going to work on changing my sexual preferences. I prefer to enjoy them.

 

I’m not emotionally impacted by your statements or prejudices.

 

What you originally wrote is what you meant, which is indicative of how you see various groups of people.

 

You don’t have to change anything you wrote, nor do you have to change any of your “preferences”....

 

Just don’t say that you’re not a racist. ???

[Monarchy79]

I would choose neither. You are going nuts about this.

I’m actually entertained by your deflection.

[The_Impeccable_G]

When you look at race as a fetish, you begin to cross over to the offensive/racism side. BBC isn't a race. What's funny about Liking Asians? Liking or disliking hairy guys or even bottoming is completely different from liking or disliking skin color.

You are over reacting. I should keep it simple and say my friend likes blacks. happy now?

 

Also there is nothing funny about liking Asians. It is funny because he likes them too much. It is a joke between friends. Forget it...

[xyz48B]

Does anyone else find it somewhat disturbing how this whole conversation is about superficial characteristics. My experience has been a guy can be drop-dead gorgeous but if you get to know him and he’s an asshole, you soon find things about him physically that aren’t attractive. The reverse is true. A guy who might not normally be immediately attractive to you can become so much hotter if his personality and yours jive. For me, the personality is a big factor. Reading this thread based almost exclusively on outward appearances makes me a bit disappointed. Understandably it’s a part of the escorting experience, but I also do like to enjoy the samplings!

[The_Impeccable_G]

Does anyone else find it somewhat disturbing how this whole conversation is about superficial characteristics. My experience has been a guy can be drop-dead gorgeous but if you get to know him and he’s an asshole, you soon find things about him physically that aren’t attractive. The reverse is true. A guy who might not normally be immediately attractive to you can become so much hotter if his personality and yours jive. For me, the personality is a big factor. Reading this thread based almost exclusively on outward appearances makes me a bit disappointed. Understandably it’s a part of the escorting experience, but I also do like to enjoy the samplings!

Yes, this is the way it is. People don't even bother to find the personality of the ones they are not attracted. Alas it is a material and unfair world ?

[xyz48B]

Yes, this is the way it is. People don't even bother to find the personality of the ones they are not attracted. Alas it is a material and unfair world ?

I bet you’re a wicked fun guy at a cocktail party.

[Palidod]

I’m actually entertained by your deflection.

That is usually the tactic used by those who have been cornered.

[The_Impeccable_G]

I bet you’re a wicked fun guy at a cocktail party.

I bet I am more popular than you.

[The_Impeccable_G]

That is usually the tactic used by those who have been cornered.

?

[xyz48B]

I bet I am more popular than you.

Good for you! It’s not much of an achievement. I never was terribly popular. Those few who do number among my friends I am quite blessed to have in my life. Quality over quantity is my motto when it comes to people.

[Monarchy79]

You are over reacting. I should keep it simple and say my friend likes blacks. happy now?

 

Also there is nothing funny about liking Asians. It is funny because he likes them too much. It is a joke between friends. Forget it...

 

Since you are “Boarding School” educated, I’m sure you understand the power, intention, and subliminal meanings, behind the words we use when communicating, and the root causes of why we use them. I’m not offended by (nor do I need to be made happy by) you changing your original post.

I want you to stand in what you wrote and understand that there’s meaning behind how you described these people, and the words you selected, whether it was intentional or not. It’s deeply rooted in your upbringing, in your environment that you were raised, and in the life that you currently live, and it’s beyond the surface level of your consciousness.

 

Obviously, there was much humor found among your group of WASPY friends regarding one member of the group who likes Asians.... and that’s your prerogative.....what needs to be examined is why it’s addressed as an inside joke to your group.....

[tj_forplay]

You are over reacting. I should keep it simple and say my friend likes blacks. happy now?

 

Also there is nothing funny about liking Asians. It is funny because he likes them too much. It is a joke between friends. Forget it...

While you think it's overreacting, look at why this thread was started. These kinds of "preferences" have real life implications.

 

And you think it's just "sexual preferences" but really those "preferences" help decide your actions in your daily life from who you make friends with, who you pick to be in your group for class projects, who you sit next to on public transit, employees you choose to hire, who you grant bank loans to, neighborhoods you want to live in, etc.

[Monarchy79]

I bet you’re a wicked fun guy at a cocktail party.

 

Probably so..

He was probably one of the guys in those Instagram pics partying with Aaron Schock..

 

Birds of a feather.......