Fat Gay Men Aren’t Welcomed (At Pride)

[Rudynate]

If the goal is to be buff and muscular you pretty have to go to the gym, or have a good assortment of equipment at home and it takes hard work.  If you just want to be HWP, much less effort is required.  You still have to increase your activity level, and you still have to reduce your food intake and it still requires commitment. If you hate exercise, it doesn't mean that you're doomed.  It just means that, for you, that is an obstacle that has to be negotiated.   Others may not be bothered by that obstacle.

[pubic_assistance]

I remember reading an article once written by this fat transgender who was angry that she was denied the ability to have sex with "hot" people because of her looks...and argued that people should be trained to see fat/ugly people as available to date ...even though the writer clearly was only interested in attractive/ fit people herself !!

[xyz48B]

15 hours ago, pubic_assistance said:

and argued that people should be trained to see fat/ugly people as available to date ...even though the writer clearly was only interested in attractive/ fit people herself !!

While this is true for some, you draw the wrong conclusion if you’re meant to suggest that fat people only want to date attractive/fit people. Does the writer state she was only interested in attractive and/or fit people? Or is that your interpretation? And still, you can’t draw that conclusion from the potential predilections of one example of a group…

I know for myself, it would be nice if society’s “attractive/fit” people would consider dating fat people, like me. But thinking that would be nice, wanting it, and being willing to date a societally “attractive/fit” person doesn’t mean you aren’t willing to consider other “options.” It would be nice if the pool of options were just as wide and deep as it it for societally “attractive/fit” people.

Invariably someone will say that the options are there. Perhaps. My experience has been no. The one guy I dated wouldn’t garner any looks here. That’s fine. He doesn’t have to. The point is that what we like, who is considered the ideal, is rarely, if ever, interested in a fat person – or at least the lived experience of many a fat person bears testimony to that. There could be reasons for that that also don’t have to do with physicality too. A fat person is likely to appear or seem less confident, and that can be off-putting for a potential partner. Just one example. The examples unrelated to physicality would be legion, which could be directly or indirectly related to being fat why a fat person could have trouble dating.

[Guest]

17 hours ago, pubic_assistance said:

I remember reading an article once written by this fat transgender who was angry that she was denied the ability to have sex with "hot" people because of her looks...and argued that people should be trained to see fat/ugly people as available to date ...even though the writer clearly was only interested in attractive/ fit people herself !!

She sounds like someone who should be among the first to sign up for that "training." Some people don't see hypocrisy staring at them in the mirror. I must confess that most of the time, my two big turn-offs are obesity and baldness. But there are some chubbies who can be rather charming...

Elliott Norris, born 8/28/96:

Or Bruno Baba, born March 11, 1994, who intentionally went from fit to fat and now says he has more fans than ever.

[Guest]

 

[Guest]

 

[xyz48B]

I don’t consider him fat.

[Guest]

5 hours ago, xyz48B said:

I don’t consider him fat.

Well, he doesn't mention his height in that video, but this website lists him as 5'11":

https://www.backstage.com/u/brunobaba11/

If that's the case, his BMI is 31.5, which is definitely not just overweight but obese:

https://www.cdc.gov/healthyweight/assessing/bmi/adult_bmi/english_bmi_calculator/bmi_calculator.html

For the information you entered:

Height: 5 feet, 11 inches

Weight: 226 pounds

Your BMI is 31.5, indicating your weight is in the Obese category for adults of your height.

For your height, a healthy weight range would be from 133 to 179 pounds.

People who are overweight or obese are at higher risk for chronic conditions such as high blood pressure, diabetes, and high cholesterol. Take this 1-minute prediabetes risk test.

[xyz48B]

21 minutes ago, Unicorn said:

Well, he doesn't mention his height in that video, but this website lists him as 5'11":

https://www.backstage.com/u/brunobaba11/

If that's the case, his BMI is 31.5, which is definitely not just overweight but obese:

https://www.cdc.gov/healthyweight/assessing/bmi/adult_bmi/english_bmi_calculator/bmi_calculator.html

For the information you entered:

Height: 5 feet, 11 inches

Weight: 226 pounds

Your BMI is 31.5, indicating your weight is in the Obese category for adults of your height.

For your height, a healthy weight range would be from 133 to 179 pounds.

People who are overweight or obese are at higher risk for chronic conditions such as high blood pressure, diabetes, and high cholesterol. Take this 1-minute prediabetes risk test.

Okay.

Still doesn’t change my assertion that he isn’t “fat” in my opinion. Scientifically and medically he may classify as obese according to his BMI, but I would hardly consider “fat” a scientific or medical term. “Fat” is more a social determinant than anything.

I understand your disgusted by fatness. And I suppose that’s your prerogative. But that doesn’t mean that the guy is “fat.” In fact the very fact that you aren’t repulsed by him even though he’s technically obese would seem to indicate you’re issues aren’t the health concerns but the social and particularly the aesthetic aspects. You said yourself “some chubbiest rather charming,” and then posted several pictures of an obese person. But he’s not “fat” as you’d use it because – correct me if I’m wrong – “fat” is not a “turn-on” for you.

[xyz48B]

And as far as BMI goes…

Here’s Zack Slater, from his RM ad…Someone ought to tell him he’s fat if “fat” is “obese.”

Height: 5 feet, 7 inches

Weight: 230 pounds

Your BMI is 36, indicating your weight is in the Obese category for adults of your height.

For your height, a healthy weight range would be from 118 to 159 pounds.

People who are overweight or obese are at higher risk for chronic conditions such as high blood pressure, diabetes, and high cholesterol.

 

[+ WilliamM]

21 minutes ago, xyz48B said:

And as far as BMI goes…

Here’s Zack Slater, from his RM ad…Someone ought to tell him he’s fat if “fat” is “obese.”

Height: 5 feet, 7 inches

Weight: 230 pounds

Your BMI is 36, indicating your weight is in the Obese category for adults of your height.

For your height, a healthy weight range would be from 118 to 159 pounds.

People who are overweight or obese are at higher risk for chronic conditions such as high blood pressure, diabetes, and high cholesterol.

 

@Unicorn is a honest, straight forward man.

[xyz48B]

5 minutes ago, WilliamM said:

@Unicorn is a honest, straight forward man.

I’m not questioning his character. I’m just saying that I don’t think he’s “fat.” And scientifically and medically “obese,” especially according to a BMI chart, doesn’t necessarily mean “fat” either. 

Edited February 9, 2022 by xyz48B

[+ WilliamM]

55 minutes ago, xyz48B said:

I’m not questioning his character. I’m just saying that I don’t think he’s “fat.” And scientifically and medically “obese,” especially according to a BMI chart, doesn’t necessarily mean “fat” either. 

I think @Unicornmay be a doctor, but not sure.

[Epigonos]

I'm disgustingly pragmatic about this topic.  If one is "fat" and happy with ones appearance and someone makes a nasty remark the response is simple.  Flip that person off and tell them to go fuck themselves.  Now, if one is fat and unhappy with ones appearance one needs to do something about it; diet, join a gym, look into bypass surgery, etc., etc., etc.  In the end one can hopefully control ones self.  One, cannot, however, control the people around oneself so STOP trying and move on. 

Edited February 9, 2022 by Epigonos

[xyz48B]

1 hour ago, WilliamM said:

I think @Unicornmay be a doctor, but not sure.

Then @Unicorn, of all people, understands that he shouldn’t be giving unsolicited medical advice to someone who’s not his patient and which may or may not go along with the course of treatment that another doctor has prescribed for said patient.

@Epigonos– I agree. The sad thing is too many people feel disparaging remarks against fat people, happy or otherwise, are something to be tolerated. That’s what I get most upset about, the tolerance for the remarks as “rude but harmless.”

 

Edited February 9, 2022 by xyz48B

[Guest]

3 hours ago, xyz48B said:

...And as far as BMI goes…

Here’s Zack Slater, from his RM ad…Someone ought to tell him he’s fat if “fat” is “obese.”

Height: 5 feet, 7 inches

Weight: 230 pounds

Your BMI is 36, indicating your weight is in the Obese category for adults of your height.

 

As this post points out, the BMI guide doesn't work for the tiny proportion of the population consisting of competitive bodybuilders, since muscle is far more dense than fat tissue. For those people, waist circumference is more accurate measurement, but awkward to do during routine medical visits. I have no doubt but that Bruno Baba's waist circumference is over 36 inches. 

As you also seem to understand, it's not generally polite to call someone out as fat or obese, even if they are, especially in a non-medical setting. Even when I was in practice, I wouldn't say "Hey, you're obese!" but rather give advice along the lines of "You could probably drop a number of your medications if you could lose 20 pounds." 

Bruno Baba is well-aware he's fat, as you would be able to see if you viewed the "How I went from a fitness model to a fatness model" video, for which I left the link above. If you view the video on YouTube, a number of respondents expressed concern for his health, advising him to make sure he understood the consequences of his diet--especially since he's quite young (under 30).

Bruno's smile/face/demeanor are so attractive that they make up for his current flabbiness in my opinion--to a point. I realize that by being turned off by obesity (and baldness), I limit my romantic opportunities--but that's just how I feel.  The word "fat" doesn't have a strict definition, so you're free to use your own feelings. Perhaps you feel Class II obesity meets your definition better than Class I obesity. I suspect that most people would view the 225# Bruno as fat, and he certainly sees it that way himself--which doesn't make him unattractive. 

[xyz48B]

I’m sensitive to the subject.

[Rudynate]

2 hours ago, xyz48B said:

Then @Unicorn, of all people, understands that he shouldn’t be giving unsolicited medical advice to someone who’s not his patient and which may or may not go along with the course of treatment that another doctor has prescribed for said patient.

 

Where/when did he impart unsolicited medical advice?  He was just referring to various standards/algorithms that healthcare providers use in evaluating health/fitness.

[xyz48B]

1 minute ago, Rudynate said:

Where/when did he impart unsolicited medical advice?  He was just referring to various standards/algorithms that healthcare providers use in evaluating health/fitness.

You know what? I’m done with the topic. I can’t say anything without pissing someone off. 

[+ WilliamM]

3 hours ago, Epigonos said:

I'm disgustingly pragmatic about this topic.  If one is "fat" and happy with ones appearance and someone makes a nasty remark the response is simple.  Flip that person off and tell them to go fuck themselves.  Now, if one is fat and unhappy with ones appearance one needs to do something about it; diet, join a gym, look into bypass surgery, etc., etc., etc.  In the end one can hopefully control ones self.  One, cannot, however, control the people around oneself so STOP trying and move on. 

Note everyone is able "to do something about it." I agree with otherwise. Good points!

[+ nycman]

49 minutes ago, xyz48B said:

I can’t say anything without pissing someone off. 

[+ WilliamM]

20 hours ago, Unicorn said:

She sounds like someone who should be among the first to sign up for that "training." Some people don't see hypocrisy staring at them in the mirror. I must confess that most of the time, my two big turn-offs are obesity and baldness. But there are some chubbies who can be rather charming...

Elliott Norris, born 8/28/96:

Or Bruno Baba, born March 11, 1994, who intentionally went from fit to fat and now says he has more fans than ever.

Respectfully,I post photos in the Gallary here where they belong, and not in any other forum!

Jeez

[Guest]

3 hours ago, WilliamM said:

Respectfully,I post photos in the Gallary here where they belong, and not in any other forum!

Jeez

I didn't realize the "Gallary" was here. The photos I posted, however, were to illustrate a point, not to titillate, as in the Gallery. And I keep reminding you--my name's not Jeez or Lord, or anything like that... 😉

[+ WilliamM]

8 hours ago, Unicorn said:

I didn't realize the "Gallary" was here. The photos I posted, however, were to illustrate a point, not to titillate, as in the Gallery. And I keep reminding you--my name's not Jeez or Lord, or anything like that... 😉

Ok. But some of your photos here really belong in the Gallary. Ask "Chris"

[marylander1940]

15 hours ago, xyz48B said:

You know what? I’m done with the topic. I can’t say anything without pissing someone off. 

at the same time others agree with some of your posts. 

Your choice to contribute or not and if others disagree with you... that's life.