Well Gman's Latest Dating Saga May Be Over-My Crime...

[+ Gar1eth]

I told the truth.

 

So Damn Poor Communicating Guy, heretofore to be known as DPCG, has continued with his aberrant texting follow-ups. For example He texted Thursday to say have a good day. I responded back-and nothing. Friday another one line of text and he didn't respond back to my response to him.

Saturday he texted saying he'd be up for meeting this week. I respond back with something about my schedule-no reply.

 

Then he texts today. We actually have several back and forth texts about our different schedules. He actually invites me to spend the night if I'm interested.

 

After I think about it for a second, I reply as follows--"I actually would like that. But one thing-it might bother you-I have sleep apnea. Are you familiar with that?"

 

After that radio silence. When I didn't hear back over the next few minutes I sent a few successive texts.

 

"It's not contagious."

 

Continued Silence.

 

"Is that a problem?"

 

Continued Silence

 

I'm hoping you were caught up in work.

Please text me later."

 

What else could I do aside from saying no to the invitation? IT wouldn't be very nice of me to either get there for an overnight without my machine then keep him up all night with my snoring, or to bring my machine along without telling him-and having him freak out because I look like Mr. Lecter in my mask.

 

And if he wasn't familiar with the condition, I didn't want to freak him out by discussing my BiPaP machine without any preliminary explanations.

 

If DPCG is now ghosting me-and who could know for sure because of his horrible texting history-I'm royally po'ed. I gave that man the best two hours of my week on the week we met.

 

And if he has, it's just so juvenile not to at least discuss it with me and tell me it will never work as he's an incredibly light sleeper.

 

He seemed like such a nice (although a bit ADD) guy. I was really looking forward to getting to know him better.

 

Gman

[Daverwr]

I have to laugh. I have to cry. I’m so sorry about you and DPCG. I don’t know you (I don’t think) but I wanted this to work out for you. If he is totally out of the picture (how could you know) then I can say what I really want to say; He’s a flake. I don’t think the trauma is worth. I am very sorry.

 

On a side note - If you do a lot of overnights, either real or purchased, you might consider purchasing one of the travel CPAPs. They’re small and probably wait for an explanation when you meet up. They are not cheap but your insurance may help.

[RealAvalon]

I told the truth.

 

So Damn Poor Communicating Guy, heretofore to be known as DPCG, has continued with his aberrant texting follow-ups. For example He texted Thursday to say have a good day. I responded back-and nothing. Friday another one line of text and he didn't respond back to my response to him.

Saturday he texted saying he'd be up for meeting this week. I respond back with something about my schedule-no reply.

 

Then he texts today. We actually have several back and forth texts about our different schedules. He actually invites me to spend the night if I'm interested.

 

After I think about it for a second, I reply as follows--"I actually would like that. But one thing-it might bother you-I have sleep apnea. Are you familiar with that?"

 

After that radio silence. When I didn't hear back over the next few minutes I sent a few successive texts.

 

"It's not contagious."

 

Continued Silence.

 

"Is that a problem?"

 

Continued Silence

 

 

I'm hoping you were caught up in work.

Please text me later."

 

What else could I do aside from saying no to the invitation? IT wouldn't be very nice of me to either get there for an overnight without my machine then keep him up all night with my snoring, or to bring my machine along without telling him-and having him freak out because I look like Mr. Lecter in my mask.

 

And if he wasn't familiar with the condition, I didn't want to freak him out by discussing my BiPaP machine without any preliminary explanations.

 

If DPCG is now ghosting me-and who could know for sure because of his horrible texting history-I'm royally po'ed. I gave that man the best two hours of my week on the week we met.

 

And if he has, it's just so juvenile not to at least discuss it with me and tell me it will never work as he's an incredibly light sleeper.

 

He seemed like such a nice (although a bit ADD) guy. I was really looking forward to getting to know him better.

 

Gman

For me, when I am feeling anxious about something, getting outside for a long walk or run, something physical (masturbating does not count) really helps a lot to put my mind on others things and relax a bit.

[+ Gar1eth]

I have to laugh. I have to cry. I’m so sorry about you and DPCG. I don’t know you (I don’t think) but I wanted this to work out for you. If he is totally out of the picture (how could you know) then I can say what I really want to say; He’s a flake. I don’t think the trauma is worth. I am very sorry.

 

On a side note - If you do a lot of overnights, either real or purchased, you might consider purchasing one of the travel CPAPs. They’re small and probably wait for an explanation when you meet up. They are not cheap but your insurance may help.

 

I appreciate the support. I wasn't looking for him to be the love of my life-and in case he ever answers back-I'm still not. . But I was hoping for a deep like if things worked out. And if he can't handle it, why can't he be man enough to say so.

 

Men are all scum-except of course for you, @Daverwr. Are you single by any chance? Why am I asking? No particular reason

 

 

As for my machine, it's a BiPAP machine. I haven't really seen any travel BiPAPs. And mine is fairly light weight as it is. It's not travel CPAP light. But it is only 2-3/4 pounds. It's slightly heavier than my previous model-by I think about a quarter of a pound. But I bought my last machine in2011. It didn't have the internet connectivity that this one has, and I wonder if that's the difference.

 

Actually my current one may be lighter than 2-3/4 pounds as it comes with an attached humidifier. I don't use the humidifier. And I was afraid it would collect dust. So there's an adapter panel you can buy to close off the humidifier space. In any case, both this one and my previous one are much lighter than my 1st-or was it my second machine from around 2003. It weighed something like 5-1/4 pounds. It wasn't really that heavy until you had to drag it around airports. Then it gained an ounce every 5 minutes starting from the time I left the house. .

 

 

Gman

[Daverwr]

Men are all scum-except of course for you, @Daverwr. Are you single by any chance? Why am I asking? No particular reason

 

 

Actually, I am single. ????. At 57, it’s just never worked out for me. Not even close! Now, I’ve basically given up. Now, I use my disability checks to rely on the kindness of strangers.

 

Anyway, don’t text him again first. Let him make the first move.

 

All the best, David

[+ WilliamM]

I also use that machine, but not necessarily every single night.

[+ Gar1eth]

I also use that machine, but not necessarily every single night.

 

I'm pretty faithful to it. I don't feel rested if I don't. And without it, I'd be snoring big time.

 

Gman

[Guest NYCRich212]

Perhaps you would enjoy a walk of shame and leave his place at 1 or 2am clutching your clothes and hastily dressing by the front door.

He may hear you snoring, but at least not all night. (Then casually mention drinking red wine or what ever causes it)

 

Of course you must return early in the am with lattes and breakfast goodies. Looking super great, of course! And ready for more fun. Not to give up yet!

[+ WilliamM]

I understand about the snoring and being faithful. That is exactly right. But, would one night away make that much different. How about if you thought this man has wonderful possibility?

[+ Gar1eth]

I understand about the snoring and being faithful. That is exactly right. But, would one night away make that much different. How about if you thought this man has wonderful possibility?

 

William-I dont think you understand. If it were just a night of me not sleeping well, I could probably endure. I do take occasional inadvertent naps without it. But I am told I snore very loudly without the machine. My brother was told years ago that he had borderline sleep apnea. I lived at his place for a year. I could hear him snore thru two closed doors I'm not sure how my sister-in-law hasn't smothered him in his sleep over the last 44 years to get a good night's sleep herself.

 

Without me on my machine DPCG would never have been able to sleep unless he were deaf. That would have gone over well I'm sure. It was better for me to bring up the situation and explain about the machine. The machine wouldnt have prevented snuggling. And it's very quiet-quieter than most hotel a/c's.

 

I certainly didn't expect complete radio silence like this from someone who seemed like a reasonable person.

 

Gman

Edited June 15, 2020 by Gar1eth

[corndog]

Here's a suggestion:

 

Bring along you cpap/bipap/apap (whatever) and rather than "having a talk" about what it is, just say "oh, by the way, I'm a loud snorer, but I don't want to keep you awake, so I brought along my cpap machine, which shuts me up. Just give me a nudge if my snoring bothers you, and I'll put it on."

 

This turns everything around and casts your cpap as something that you do out of consideration for him. It also downplays the medical importance of it, and opens up an opportunity for a conversation about it if he wants to go there.

[+ WilliamM]

Here's a suggestion:

 

Bring along you cpap/bipap/apap (whatever) and rather than "having a talk" about what it is, just say "oh, by the way, I'm a loud snorer, but I don't want to keep you awake, so I brought along my cpap machine, which shuts me up. Just give me a nudge if my snoring bothers you, and I'll put it on."

 

This turns everything around and casts your cpap as something that you do out of consideration for him. It also downplays the medical importance of it, and opens up an opportunity for a conversation about it if he wants to go there.

 

Exactly.

 

Problem solved

[+ Gar1eth]

Here's a suggestion:

 

Bring along you cpap/bipap/apap (whatever) and rather than "having a talk" about what it is, just say "oh, by the way, I'm a loud snorer, but I don't want to keep you awake, so I brought along my cpap machine, which shuts me up. Just give me a nudge if my snoring bothers you, and I'll put it on."

 

This turns everything around and casts your cpap as something that you do out of consideration for him. It also downplays the medical importance of it, and opens up an opportunity for a conversation about it if he wants to go there.

 

That's a good idea assuming he ever talks to me again. Or in a future situation. But I truly did not think he would ghost me. I thought If the answer was no we'd at least talk about it. And I didn't bring up the BiPAP machine because I thought for sure that would freak him out.

 

Gman

[+ purplekow]

I believe that most men of a certain age have heard of sleep apnea. I am more sure that most men of a certain sleep around have heard a man snore. I think you are letting your insecurity get to you. If your sister in law could put up with snoring for 44 years, he could put up with it for a night, If he can't, well better to find out now.

As to text-iquette, he seems a bit on the flaky side but a bit on the horny side. Which is more important?

[+ Gar1eth]

I believe that most men of a certain age have heard of sleep apnea. I am more sure that most men of a certain sleep around have heard a man snore. I think you are letting your insecurity get to you. If your sister in law could put up with snoring for 44 years, he could put up with it for a night, If he can't, well better to find out now.

As to text-iquette, he seems a bit on the flaky side but a bit on the horny side. Which is more important?

 

well when you are in the middle of a conversation about spending the night and he suddenly goes silent. I think feeling he's pulled back is a reasonable assumption. But if I'm wrong, I will happily admit it.

 

Gman

[+ WilliamM]

I suspect people survived before CPAP. When I was a child, our bedroom windows were next to cows milling around in a pasture during Summers. I got used to it.

[+ Gar1eth]

He may have blocked me. I tried calling. The number said "User Busy". I don't ever remember getting that before.

 

Gman

[+ WilliamM]

William-I dont think you understand. If it were just a night of me not sleeping well, I could probably endure. I do take occasional inadvertent naps without it. But I am told I snore very loudly without the machine. My brother was told years ago that he had borderline sleep apnea. I lived at his place for a year. I could hear him snore thru two closed doors I'm not sure how my sister-in-law hasn't smothered him in his sleep over the last 44 years to get a good night's sleep herself.

 

Without me on my machine DPCG would never have been able to sleep unless he were deaf. That would have gone over well I'm sure. It was better for me to bring up the situation and explain about the machine. The machine wouldnt have prevented snuggling. And it's very quiet-quieter than most hotel a/c's.

 

I certainly didn't expect complete radio silence like this from someone who seemed like a reasonable person.

 

Gman

 

I do understand not an idiot

[maninsoma]

He may have blocked me. I tried calling. The number said "User Busy". I don't ever remember getting that before.

 

Gman

 

Maybe he's on TMobile's network. They had a huge problem yesterday with both calls and texts. I think they have resolved the texting issue, but I think their network still isn't 100% functional with respect to calls.

 

I agree with purplekow that you are letting your insecurity get to you. It sounds like you are talking yourself into believing that the guy is no longer interested in you and you are even suggesting to him that maybe he feels that way, too. If you want to end things, just do it. Otherwise try to keep your anxiety in check and allow a more natural back-and-forth to occur.

[+ WilliamM]

Maybe he's on TMobile's network. They had a huge problem yesterday with both calls and texts. I think they have resolved the texting issue, but I think their network still isn't 100% functional with respect to calls.

 

I agree with purplekow that you are letting your insecurity get to you. It sounds like you are talking yourself into believing that the guy is no longer interested in you and you are even suggesting to him that maybe he feels that way, too. If you want to end things, just do it. Otherwise try to keep your anxiety in check and allow a more natural back-and-forth to occur.

 

To be fair to @Gar1eth, most people might be frustrated by the stop and start responses.

[+ sync]

William-I dont think you understand. If it were just a night of me not sleeping well, I could probably endure. I do take occasional inadvertent naps without it. But I am told I snore very loudly without the machine. My brother was told years ago that he had borderline sleep apnea. I lived at his place for a year. I could hear him snore thru two closed doors I'm not sure how my sister-in-law hasn't smothered him in his sleep over the last 44 years to get a good night's sleep herself.

 

Without me on my machine DPCG would never have been able to sleep unless he were deaf. That would have gone over well I'm sure. It was better for me to bring up the situation and explain about the machine. The machine wouldnt have prevented snuggling. And it's very quiet-quieter than most hotel a/c's.

 

I certainly didn't expect complete radio silence like this from someone who seemed like a reasonable person.

 

Gman

You have my sympathy. From childhood one of my brothers snored with roars the likes of which I did not hear again until the Jurassic Park series. Perhaps you could have meets without an overnight until your machine-assisted sleeping issue is fully explained to him face-to-face. I say continue the chase. The only cost to you will be some time.

[+ Gar1eth]

Well he's an idiot. He texted me this morning and said he had been at work; and then didn't answer last night because of other responsibilities.

 

HOWEVER-I do not think it was a case of my insecurities getting the better of me. I think any reasonable person would have thought/reacted the way I did. I mean he talks about having an overnight. I say I'm interested. But I admit to having sleep apnea which might prove disturbing for him. And then complete radio silence immediately after that for 15 hours.

 

Normal people would have at least said-gotta go-work is getting busy. Talk later.

 

Gman

[+ WilliamM]

Remember that some people keep friends from several parts of their lives. Others may keep only one friend, @Gar1eth. It isn't your fault!

[marylander1940]

Well he's an idiot. He texted me this morning and said he had been at work; and then didn't answer last night because of other responsibilities.

 

HOWEVER-I do not think it was a case of my insecurities getting the better of me. I think any reasonable person would have thought/reacted the way I did. I mean he talks about having an overnight. I say I'm interested. But I admit to having sleep apnea which might prove disturbing for him. And then complete radio silence immediately after that for 15 hours.

 

Normal people would have at least said-gotta go-work is getting busy. Talk later.

 

Gman

 

We all have been in your position. A first step is always important. I'm sure you'll have other romances in life!

[+ Gar1eth]

We all have been in your position. A first step is always important. I'm sure you'll have other romances in life!

 

Unfortunately only one semi-romance before this And he's now in a new romance and won't even respond to a 'I hope you're doing well in this strange time we're living in" email. ???

 

Gman