The BFE is a smoke screen

[jjkrkwood]

I suppose there are all kinds of BF's and BFE's depending on YOUR own definition and needs ? If I was hiring, I would just lay out to the provider exactly what it is that I am looking for in the experience ie: kissing, cuddling, sweet verbal etc.... I know its a bit pre-meditated and un-spontaneous or organic, but better to be safe than sorry and BROKE !

[Bacon]

Reminds me of the episode of Designing Women, where Mary Jo asks Monette the madam what she does to keep men coming back again and again. Monette responds "a lot of my time is just spent talking and listening." Um, yeah. I'll pay my therapist for that service . . . which is usually cheaper than a BFE experience and is covered by insurance.

 

I've had two or three experiences where the escorts invited me to sit and chat first and in almost every instance like that I found I was the one who initiated the next steps. I much prefer the escorts who begin a BFE with a big hug and kiss at the door rather than the slow burn.

[+ BenjaminNicholas]

Here's the deal...

 

BFE only really works when it's a longer appointment. An overnight, weekend or more.

 

An hour or two? I mean, you can chat a bit, but it's mainly hitting the sheets. Not a lot of time to discuss china patterns.

[GLEE]

Sad!!! I would sincerely suggest you to meet @peterhung85 for remedy ! You will blossom again! There is strong reason that many are seeing him for years together! He gives undivided attention and unparalleled experience , makes you comfortable, doesn’t discriminates anyone unless someone is badaazzz! Experience with him have always enhanced! I have said repeatedly many came and went but he is there with strong position!

 

Agreed, @peterhung85 is the definition of BFE

[RealAvalon]

You have had your stumbling blocks, haven’t you?

https://www.companyofmen.org/threads/but-i-dont-want-to-be-a-woman.154898/

https://www.companyofmen.org/threads/a-generic-comment.154716/

https://www.companyofmen.org/threads/i-have-to-say-something.153681/

https://www.companyofmen.org/threads/warning-abusive-escort.152734/

I hope you don't follow me this closely … or maybe I do? Hmmm ...

[+ StLouisOct]

Here's the deal...

 

BFE only really works when it's a longer appointment. An overnight, weekend or more.

 

An hour or two? I mean, you can chat a bit, but it's mainly hitting the sheets. Not a lot of time to discuss china patterns.

I think the observation above by @jjkrkwood is correct -- it all depends on how you define BFE. I've had two hour romantic sessions that I consider successful and memorable BFEs.

[+ peterhung85]

Recently I engaged the services of a well-reviewed escort for (what I anticipated would be) an hour of intimacy. He arrived in a fluster, so--to calm his nerves--we started off by talking, sitting side by side, as a host might entertain a party guest. We talked... and talked... and talked. I began to wonder when the main event might occur. Two hours passed--pleasantly enough--until he made "we should wrap this up" noises. When I asked what happened to the intimacy, he said he had just given me the Boyfriend Experience, and had stayed longer than his (not insignificant) fee warranted. I let him go, but then I realized that he had NOT given me the BFE, but rather the Platonic Friend Experience, since I could have spent exactly the same amount of time chatting with an everyday acquaintance for nothing! Having gone years at a stretch without physical contact, I don't want pleasantries over tea, I want barriers-down commingling, however brief. In an attempt to justify his evasion, he added: "Sometimes women hire me just to talk. It's non-threatening." Quite the cunning maneuver to avoid sex yet still collect his paper salad. My post-non-coital emotions ranged from anger to humiliation and finally to resignation.

 

WOW... that is insanity! I am really truly sorry that you had to deal with this guy who gives all of us a bad reputation. Especially since you have indicated that this was a well-reviewed companion, I highly suggest that you write a review of him. Many people will be very grateful to you that you did. This will stop others spending their hard-earned money on someone who clearly doesn't deserve it and will help others avoid that really negative feeling that has left inside of you when he left.

[+ MakeMeCowboy]

The confusion could have been between intimacy and a fuck. Sounds like you got intimacy (however sorry it wasn't what you wanted.) Do people really think you can hire for intimacy?

[bostonman]

This is one reason why I only hire escorts who are willing to talk beforehand (i.e. before meeting) about what I would like to do together. I do understand that some escorts feel more protected by sticking to the "hiring for time only...no talking about details" kind of thing, but I don't feel comfortable in that situation. If I were hiring someone for a "BFE" session, I would still want to discuss what that meant for me, making sure he was on board with that.

[John]

Maybe we should just read what Peter Hung and Benjamin Nicholas have said and leave it alone.

 

-- The OP said that he had made his expectations clear in advance.

-- From where I sit, for the client to expect the escort to make the first move is not unwarranted. One thing I pay for is the illusion of being desired.

[+ nycman]

You have had your stumbling blocks, haven’t you?

https://www.companyofmen.org/threads/but-i-dont-want-to-be-a-woman.154898/

https://www.companyofmen.org/threads/a-generic-comment.154716/

https://www.companyofmen.org/threads/i-have-to-say-something.153681/

https://www.companyofmen.org/threads/warning-abusive-escort.152734/

 

It’s time to start looking at “The Man in the Mirror”.

 

[+ Pensant]

Also sorry to hear that. Most of mine start kissing as soon as they walk through the door, but I’m always clear on what I’d like to do and always have at least a two-hour minimum. A provider is currently sleeping in the guest room. He moves around too much so we thought it best for us to sleep apart. After a solid 9 hours, I’m finishing my second cup of coffee.

[sexymonk]

WOW... that is insanity! I am really truly sorry that you had to deal with this guy who gives all of us a bad reputation. Especially since you have indicated that this was a well-reviewed companion, I highly suggest that you write a review of him. Many people will be very grateful to you that you did. This will stop others spending their hard-earned money on someone who clearly doesn't deserve it and will help others avoid that really negative feeling that has left inside of you when he left.

Peter, I don’t think that you are confined within the boundaries of reputation here! That is why I always mentioned that why you have been here for years and others just come and go and vanish!

[Islesguy]

BFE, whatever that means to people, is what I want in a hire. Since I tend to be nervous meeting new people, I always tell a new person I hire about that. Usually I try to have us sit next to each other on a couch while we talk if one is available. As we talk, I start to touch him. Usually the guy realizes I'm getting more comfortable and things progress pretty quickly. An intuitive guy should be able to read signals and make moves based on that.

[DallasClient]

As someone else pointed out, I have been hiring (since March 2019) with variable results; I intend to post a statistical summary of success (vs not) in February. I'm still making up for a mostly vacant sexual life before then. In the meantime, I'm signing off this thread.

 

When you tally the results, please be introspective and ask yourself if there was something you could have done differently during your session with the escort(s) to have made that session a "success". As in the case on this thread, you probably would have a better time had you just suggested the two of you adjourn to the bedroom after about 5 to 10 mins of chatting. Don't rely on the fact you texted them some request earlier and expect them to remember it. They deal with so many text messages each day. During your 5 to 10 min chat, it's a good time to mention any expectations. If there's been a miscommunication and he's not willing to perform in the way you're asking, this is the time to stop the session but you will of course give him plenty of gas money for meeting you.

[+ StLouisOct]

Note that RickM, who started this thread and asked for advice, “signed off” of the thread last Thursday and has not been heard from since. Odd.

[Pepper Young]

I always tell new hires I want a BFE and once we meet, have a brief get-to-know-you conversation, I move things along with a "Why don't you take your clothes off?"

[+ goosh69]

It’s pretty obvious that TOP has an issue being specific with these guys up front. You need to say exactly (not in code words) what you expect before you meet. No?

[rvwnsd]

...You need to say exactly (not in code words) what you expect before you meet. No?

Ding, ding, ding, ding!

 

That being, um, said, the escort knew that the OP wasn't hiring him for conversation. He should have initiated some sort of physical intimacy.

[+ nycman]

Note that RickM, who started this thread and asked for advice, “signed off” of the thread last Thursday and has not been heard from since. Odd.

Not really “odd”. As uncovered above, he seems to have a

strange habit of coming here and throwing anonymous

Maltov cocktails and then walking away.

 

I wish him well, but I fear that this isn’t a healthy hobby for him.

[former lurker]

Ding, ding, ding, ding!

 

That being, um, said, the escort knew that the OP wasn't hiring him for conversation. He should have initiated some sort of physical intimacy.

 

The OP didn't indicate that he requested "physical" intimacy. He said "intimacy". Also, there's a wide range that falls within physical intimacy (holding hands, hugs, lying around in each others' arms, etc. And who knows why one person hires another. Some hire to have someone to talk with about things they don't feel comfortable discussing with others.

 

The OP does have a track record on the forum of reporting on disappointing experiences without identifying the escort. It may be his way of minimizing damage to the escort's reputation because he realizes, at some level, that a lot of his disappointment isn't the fault of the escort but of his own making. Or perhaps he's using the forum to sort through his own thoughts and approaches. Of he's stirring the pot. There's really not a lot to go on in his posts.

[Rick M]

Note that RickM, who started this thread and asked for advice, “signed off” of the thread last Thursday and has not been heard from since. Odd.

Because I'm not a chatterbox and I figured the horse had been flogged enough. Moving on...

[+ StLouisOct]

Because I'm not a chatterbox and I figured the horse had been flogged enough. Moving on...

 

I’d change “odd” to “troublesome.” Not a great idea to submit something in the Lounge, presumably to share thoughts and seek feedback, then tire of it all and deem participants “chatterboxes” and move on.

Edited January 14, 2020 by StLouisOct

[MikeBiDude]

Because I'm not a chatterbox and I figured the horse had been flogged enough. Moving on...

Or you didn’t like the replies ??‍♂️

[mike carey]

I would offer another suggestion as to how to characterise this and similar threads. That is, that a poster offers his experience in a meeting that didn't go quite has he'd envisaged it. It doesn't mean he is seeking validation. Maybe he wants advice on what he could or should have done differently, but even then new insights can only keep being offered for so long before they start repeating what has already been said. At that stage there is less reason for him to keep commenting. There are other things that threads like this offer apart from advice or validation for the OP concerned, and that includes awareness by readers, particularly those new to the game, of things that can happen in a meeting so that they can be forearmed.