The BFE is a smoke screen

[Rick M]

Recently I engaged the services of a well-reviewed escort for (what I anticipated would be) an hour of intimacy. He arrived in a fluster, so--to calm his nerves--we started off by talking, sitting side by side, as a host might entertain a party guest. We talked... and talked... and talked. I began to wonder when the main event might occur. Two hours passed--pleasantly enough--until he made "we should wrap this up" noises. When I asked what happened to the intimacy, he said he had just given me the Boyfriend Experience, and had stayed longer than his (not insignificant) fee warranted. I let him go, but then I realized that he had NOT given me the BFE, but rather the Platonic Friend Experience, since I could have spent exactly the same amount of time chatting with an everyday acquaintance for nothing! Having gone years at a stretch without physical contact, I don't want pleasantries over tea, I want barriers-down commingling, however brief. In an attempt to justify his evasion, he added: "Sometimes women hire me just to talk. It's non-threatening." Quite the cunning maneuver to avoid sex yet still collect his paper salad. My post-non-coital emotions ranged from anger to humiliation and finally to resignation.

[John]

What a sad story. He sounds like a creep and a con artist. I am sorry you were victimized, but he is not the only one and you are not alone.

[+ StLouisOct]

Wow, you need to take a deep breath next time and make a move to get things going. Lean over and give him a big hug and a kiss, and start exploring. He should have done better, but you let him sit there and talk. Unfortunate.

[DallasClient]

I can understand how you feel. I usually start off by talking a bit, getting them a drink, normal getting to know someone a little, etc.. However, I consider us to be "on the clock" once I let him in. Also, after a few minutes, I usually say something like "shall we go get more comfortable?". I don't live in the city center and I couldn't imagine having them drive this way and then not counting the whole time they are with me.

 

You may need to guide the direction of your time together. They aren't mind readers.

[Rick M]

I had covered my wishes in advance via text. He knew.

[Poincare]

I have been in the exact same situation!

 

Ultimately, I realized that it was my job to get the ball rolling so to speak....or else end up with disappointment.

 

As I coach my employees, take ownership and stop complaining....

[+ Gar1eth]

When you consider that probably 90% of the escorts list "boyfriend experience," you have to think that at this point it's just words and may not mean anything.

 

And as a suggestion to some newbies on here, at some point, esp if things seem to be moving slow, I'll usually ask a guy if I can unbutton his shirt. That usually leads to something.

 

Gman

[Beancounter]

When you consider that probably 90% of the escorts list "boyfriend experience," you have to think that at this point it's just words and may not mean anything.

 

And as a suggestion to some newbies on here, at some point, esp if things seem to be moving slow, I'll usually ask a guy if I can unbutton his shirt. That usually leads to something.

 

Gman

 

I thought you had indicated you hadn’t hired in many years. Or am I dreaming I read that here on the Forum. Apologies in advance if I’m wrong.

[Beancounter]

Recently I engaged the services of a well-reviewed escort for (what I anticipated would be) an hour of intimacy. He arrived in a fluster, so--to calm his nerves--we started off by talking, sitting side by side, as a host might entertain a party guest. We talked... and talked... and talked. I began to wonder when the main event might occur. Two hours passed--pleasantly enough--until he made "we should wrap this up" noises. When I asked what happened to the intimacy, he said he had just given me the Boyfriend Experience, and had stayed longer than his (not insignificant) fee warranted. I let him go, but then I realized that he had NOT given me the BFE, but rather the Platonic Friend Experience, since I could have spent exactly the same amount of time chatting with an everyday acquaintance for nothing! Having gone years at a stretch without physical contact, I don't want pleasantries over tea, I want barriers-down commingling, however brief. In an attempt to justify his evasion, he added: "Sometimes women hire me just to talk. It's non-threatening." Quite the cunning maneuver to avoid sex yet still collect his paper salad. My post-non-coital emotions ranged from anger to humiliation and finally to resignation.

You mention he well reviewed. Had the same experience with I guy I hired. Wonder if it’s the same guy. My hire was also very well reviewed. I’ll private message you.

[MichiganMan]

Please write a review so we know who to hire / avoid.......that is the purpose of this site

[MikeBiDude]

Recently I engaged the services of a well-reviewed escort for (what I anticipated would be) an hour of intimacy. He arrived in a fluster, so--to calm his nerves--we started off by talking, sitting side by side, as a host might entertain a party guest. We talked... and talked... and talked. I began to wonder when the main event might occur. Two hours passed--pleasantly enough--until he made "we should wrap this up" noises. When I asked what happened to the intimacy, he said he had just given me the Boyfriend Experience, and had stayed longer than his (not insignificant) fee warranted. I let him go, but then I realized that he had NOT given me the BFE, but rather the Platonic Friend Experience, since I could have spent exactly the same amount of time chatting with an everyday acquaintance for nothing! Having gone years at a stretch without physical contact, I don't want pleasantries over tea, I want barriers-down commingling, however brief. In an attempt to justify his evasion, he added: "Sometimes women hire me just to talk. It's non-threatening." Quite the cunning maneuver to avoid sex yet still collect his paper salad. My post-non-coital emotions ranged from anger to humiliation and finally to resignation.

You have had your stumbling blocks, haven’t you?

https://www.companyofmen.org/threads/but-i-dont-want-to-be-a-woman.154898/

https://www.companyofmen.org/threads/a-generic-comment.154716/

https://www.companyofmen.org/threads/i-have-to-say-something.153681/

https://www.companyofmen.org/threads/warning-abusive-escort.152734/

[thickornotatall]

I'd get a brand new boyfriend..the kind that likes to fuck/suck/kiss/NOT the kind that's a lousy lover...take him to Judge Judy!

[Rick M]

I thought you had indicated you hadn’t hired in many years. Or am I dreaming I read that here on the Forum. Apologies in advance if I’m wrong.

As someone else pointed out, I have been hiring (since March 2019) with variable results; I intend to post a statistical summary of success (vs not) in February. I'm still making up for a mostly vacant sexual life before then. In the meantime, I'm signing off this thread.

[+ Gar1eth]

When you consider that probably 90% of the escorts list "boyfriend experience," you have to think that at this point it's just words and may not mean anything.

 

And as a suggestion to some newbies on here, at some point, esp if things seem to be moving slow, I'll usually ask a guy if I can unbutton his shirt. That usually leads to something.

 

Gman

I thought you had indicated you hadn’t hired in many years. Or am I dreaming I read that here on the Forum. Apologies in advance if I’m wrong.

 

I haven't hired in many years. But I've never been much on porn. So I window shop Rentmen. And a vast majority of ads list "BFE." As for my suggestion about the shirt, that's what I did when I hired.

 

Gman

[Andrew Rand]

As a provider who primarily offers what my clients call BFE, and successfully for a few years, I would hesitate to universalize the problem as a symptom of boyfriend experience. No one—including myself—knows what exactly BFE means, but it for sure is not killing the entire time talking as a means of avoiding intimacy (unless requested of course).

[+ oldNbusted]

As a provider who primarily offers what my clients call BFE, and successfully for a few years, I would hesitate to universalize the problem as a symptom of boyfriend experience. No one—including myself—knows what exactly BFE means, but it for sure is not killing the entire time talking as a means of avoiding intimacy (unless requested of course).

 

What happened here has nothing to do with a BFE.

[MikeBiDude]

As a provider who primarily offers what my clients call BFE, and successfully for a few years, I would hesitate to universalize the problem as a symptom of boyfriend experience. No one—including myself—knows what exactly BFE means, but it for sure is not killing the entire time talking as a means of avoiding intimacy (unless requested of course).

Welcome to our forum!

[Andrew Rand]

Welcome to our forum!

Thanks, couldn’t resist jumping in on this one!

[+ StLouisOct]

You have had your stumbling blocks, haven’t you?

https://www.companyofmen.org/threads/but-i-dont-want-to-be-a-woman.154898/

https://www.companyofmen.org/threads/a-generic-comment.154716/

https://www.companyofmen.org/threads/i-have-to-say-something.153681/

https://www.companyofmen.org/threads/warning-abusive-escort.152734/

Hmm, an unusually long list of stumbling blocks shared with all.

[+ BenjaminNicholas]

This is not the definition of BFE. This is, however, the definition of bullshit.

 

I'm really sorry you dealt with this.

[BSR]

This is not the definition of BFE. This is, however, the definition of bullshit.

 

I'm really sorry you dealt with this.

 

As a client, it's tough to know exactly how to behave in such a situation. On one hand, as much as I understand that it's up to the client to initiate intimacy, you can't treat an escort like a machine. It's not like renting a car. But then to get charged the regular fee for the Platonic Friend Experience ... yeah, I empathize with the feelings @Rick M went through.

 

So I appreciate the response from Benjamin Nicholas, a professional escort's take on the situation. Unfortunately for Rick M, it sounds like one of those lessons learned the hard (and expensive) way. I'm sorry this happened to you.

[+ Gar1eth]

You have had your stumbling blocks, haven’t you?

https://www.companyofmen.org/threads/but-i-dont-want-to-be-a-woman.154898/

https://www.companyofmen.org/threads/a-generic-comment.154716/

https://www.companyofmen.org/threads/i-have-to-say-something.153681/

https://www.companyofmen.org/threads/warning-abusive-escort.152734/

 

I have no problems believing what you say happened. My question is -are you just having a run of bad luck with the providers you pick-or is it something else?

 

 

Is it possible it's due to the type of guys you are attracted to? For example are the guys you are choosing well-known people either here on the Message Center or on Daddy's Reviews, or are they more unknown? If more unknown, maybe you should try someone who has been (well) vetted here on the MC or Daddy's Reviews?

 

Gman

[sexymonk]

Recently I engaged the services of a well-reviewed escort for (what I anticipated would be) an hour of intimacy. He arrived in a fluster, so--to calm his nerves--we started off by talking, sitting side by side, as a host might entertain a party guest. We talked... and talked... and talked. I began to wonder when the main event might occur. Two hours passed--pleasantly enough--until he made "we should wrap this up" noises. When I asked what happened to the intimacy, he said he had just given me the Boyfriend Experience, and had stayed longer than his (not insignificant) fee warranted. I let him go, but then I realized that he had NOT given me the BFE, but rather the Platonic Friend Experience, since I could have spent exactly the same amount of time chatting with an everyday acquaintance for nothing! Having gone years at a stretch without physical contact, I don't want pleasantries over tea, I want barriers-down commingling, however brief. In an attempt to justify his evasion, he added: "Sometimes women hire me just to talk. It's non-threatening." Quite the cunning maneuver to avoid sex yet still collect his paper salad. My post-non-coital emotions ranged from anger to humiliation and finally to resignation.

Sad!!! I would sincerely suggest you to meet @peterhung85 for remedy ! You will blossom again! There is strong reason that many are seeing him for years together! He gives undivided attention and unparalleled experience , makes you comfortable, doesn’t discriminates anyone unless someone is badaazzz! Experience with him have always enhanced! I have said repeatedly many came and went but he is there with strong position!

Edited January 10, 2020 by sexymonk

[Tonyko]

You have had your stumbling blocks, haven’t you?

https://www.companyofmen.org/threads/but-i-dont-want-to-be-a-woman.154898/

https://www.companyofmen.org/threads/a-generic-comment.154716/

https://www.companyofmen.org/threads/i-have-to-say-something.153681/

https://www.companyofmen.org/threads/warning-abusive-escort.152734/

 

Hmmmm. Is there a Munchausen for hiring??

[+ Gar1eth]

I have no problems believing what you say happened. My question is -are you just having a run of bad luck with the providers you pick-or is it something else?

 

 

Is it possible it's due to the type of guys you are attracted to? For example are the guys you are choosing well-known people either here on the Message Center or on Daddy's Reviews, or are they more unknown? If more unknown, maybe you should try someone who has been (well) vetted here on the MC or Daddy's Reviews?

 

Gman

Hmmmm. Is there a Munchausen for hiring??

 

I can remember at least three or four times not getting much satisfaction from an escort. Strangely enough three were from guys represented by Man to Man and once was a guy from Maximum escorts.

 

Gman