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Told by masseur to be on prep

mcskill

By mcskill
in Spas & Masseurs

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mcskill Collaborator

mcskill

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Been thinking for a while if I should share this story but thought I should get opinions from people on this board.

 

I went for a massage with a masseur who did a great job technically and sensually. Towards the end, we had great time/chemistry (or at least I thought) and the masseur tried for intercourse. He did not have condom on so I said “sorry I can’t” as soon as I felt that he was planning on going in. He asked surprisingly what do I mean I cannot. I said I prefer safe sex and unless you have condom I cannot do it with you. He said he is on prep and that’s what prep is for; safe sex. I replied that I was not on prep but I do practice safe sex. We continued without going full stream until the massage is done. Right before we said good bye, he gave me advice “please be responsible to the community and get on prep”. I was surprised and didn’t know what to say so I left without saying anything. But I felt like I was being complained to by the fact that I am not on prep and practice safe sex. Did he assume that gays that aren’t on prep aren’t responsible? Or Is there something I didn’t get from his message?

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Monarchy79 Grand Master

Monarchy79

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Posted
He is right in that being on prep is the safest form of sex outside of abstinence. Condoms are less safe actually.

 

to be Accurate... PrEP is known to specifically prevent: HIV transmission.

 

Condoms have been known to prevent:

HIV transmission, along with

Syphyllis

Gonhorrea

Chlamydia

Other STDs and pregnancy

And because of the physical barrier they create during anal intercourse, they also prevent infection that than occur by fecal matter than can get into the top partners urethral passages through barebacking.

 

Consistent, proper condom use has worked as a successful method of safe sex for millions, and I’m a living example to that.

 

As an aside (because NO method is 100% effective), the creators of PrEP intended for its use to be in conjunction with condoms.... However, many medical professionals were leery that their targeted audience would see this as a means to ditch condoms, just as the baby boomers ditched them when the birth control pill was created.

 

And they were right.

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Monarchy79 Grand Master

Monarchy79

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Posted
He is right in that being on prep is the safest form of sex outside of abstinence. Condoms are less safe actually.

Been thinking for a while if I should share this story but thought I should get opinions from people on this board.

 

I went for a massage with a masseur who did a great job technically and sensually. Towards the end, we had great time/chemistry (or at least I thought) and the masseur tried for intercourse. He did not have condom on so I said “sorry I can’t” as soon as I felt that he was planning on going in. He asked surprisingly what do I mean I cannot. I said I prefer safe sex and unless you have condom I cannot do it with you. He said he is on prep and that’s what prep is for; safe sex. I replied that I was not on prep but I do practice safe sex. We continued without going full stream until the massage is done. Right before we said good bye, he gave me advice “please be responsible to the community and get on prep”. I was surprised and didn’t know what to say so I left without saying anything. But I felt like I was being complained to by the fact that I am not on prep and practice safe sex. Did he assume that gays that aren’t on prep aren’t responsible? Or Is there something I didn’t get from his message?

 

I’m sorry, but the masseur needs to better educate himself on what “safe sex” actually is.

 

Although popping a PrEP pill is a preventative measure against HIV transmission, barebacking isn’t “safe sex”.

 

I guess the other 8+ STDs that can be transmitted that PrEP doesn’t address isn’t an issue for him either.. maybe he should do a favor to the community and think about the other STDs he could be spreading..... while he’s practicing “safe sex”.

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robear Mentor

+ robear

Posted
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I've been on PrEP since it was available. BUT, the decision to ingest powerful antiviral drugs to prevent infection by HIV is a very individual and personal one. There are numerous factors to weigh, medical, financial, philosophical and so on, and no one should be pressured or shamed into making a choice one way or the other. It's clear that you're committed to safer sex, @mcskill, as it works for YOU. The masseur was out of line in his comments and expectations.

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SirBillybob Grand Master

SirBillybob

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Posted (edited)

The provider is a commercial sex worker not using condoms. He is implicitly acknowledging one-way HIV transmission can occur while on PrEP and so it is not 100% effective (but close) ... he essentially indicates either he can acquire it from the client or vice versa.

 

I cannot unpack his thinking because I don't know if his worry was acquiring or transmitting, or if he has developed a philosophy that accounted for his lecture. Probably the former, and he may believe as well that both on PrEP is failsafe, which is close to the reality, for HIV.

 

That he sells intercourse without condoms and does not see client condom use as an option is surprising and concerning.

Edited by SirBIllybob
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maninsoma Grand Master

maninsoma

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Posted
Has anyone seen TV commercials regarding a class action lawsuit regarding PreP? This ad is claiming that there are several negative side effects to its use, including weakening of the bones.

 

Yes, but there seem to be class action lawsuits against nearly all pharmaceuticals that are used by large numbers of people. I don't know whether there is merit to this specific lawsuit, but one of the things I have read -- that Gilead has a much safer but just as effective medication available but is deliberately choosing to poison people instead -- is pretty silly. If a safer and just as effective medication was available, I think it would be used by even more people which means more profits for Gilead.

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Mustang Community Regular

Mustang

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Posted
Has anyone seen TV commercials regarding a class action lawsuit regarding PreP? This ad is claiming that there are several negative side effects to its use, including weakening of the bones.

 

Yes, there are new well-advertised predatory lawsuits targeting Truvada now. The possible side-effects (bone loss and kidney problems) have been widely disclosed by the company and health care professionals . People on PrEP go on every 3 months for labs to monitor for these issues along with maintaining a negative status.

 

These lawsuits are usually by smaller companies that specialize in predatory suits just looking to make a quick buck.

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RickD1980 Collaborator

RickD1980

Posted
Posted
He is right in that being on prep is the safest form of sex outside of abstinence. Condoms are less safe actually.

 

to be Accurate... PrEP is known to specifically prevent: HIV transmission.

 

Condoms have been known to prevent:

HIV transmission, along with

Syphyllis

Gonhorrea

Chlamydia

Other STDs and pregnancy

And because of the physical barrier they create during anal intercourse, they also prevent infection that than occur by fecal matter than can get into the top partners urethral passages through barebacking.

 

Consistent, proper condom use has worked as a successful method of safe sex for millions, and I’m a living example to that.

 

As an aside (because NO method is 100% effective), the creators of PrEP intended for its use to be in conjunction with condoms.... However, many medical professionals were leery that their targeted audience would see this as a means to ditch condoms, just as the baby boomers ditched them when the birth control pill was created.

 

Monarchy is correct. PrEP, especially when used in conjunction with condoms, is effective in preventing HIV - HIV ONLY. But if your partner is HIV+, undetectable and on treatment, he couldn't pass the virus to you even if you WEREN'T on PrEP.

 

But PrEP does nothing to prevent all the other STDs out there, including Herpes, genital warts, and other diseases like Hepatitis, which can be spread through ass play.

 

The person you saw is ill-informed and if he really believed in being responsible to the community, he would be using condoms in addition to PrEP.

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Bluefin Mentor

Bluefin

Posted
Posted

1. Know your status. Get tested regularly - every 3-6 mos

2. Use whatever “safe sex” methods are best for you - condoms, prep, or both condoms and prep.

3. Communicate with your sex partners.

4. You’re responsible for keeping yourself protected.

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Jason901 Rising Star

Jason901

Posted
Posted

Wow - what an experience. thanks for sharing. I'm the same as you. I'm not on PREP but I'm on some other medication that's really hard on my kidneys. Being on PREP at the same time would be really rough for my body so opted not to do that. I just use condoms.

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Bacon Collaborator

Bacon

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Posted

I’m on PrEP and haven’t experienced any side effects. Two friends also tried it for a while but suffered terrible gastrointestinal side effects ... which if I recall correctly are highlighted in the product literature.

 

So it clearly isn’t for everybody.

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mcskill Collaborator

mcskill

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I felt it was an attacking comment to me from the masseur. As if I did not care about the community by not being on Prep. “Do us a favor and get on prep” is not something you say to your client who just asked you to use condom for safe sex practice. Although it got me thinking what’s the benefits and drawbacks of everyone is on prep.

 

Thanks all for sharing your opinions. I am trying to be as unbiased as I can about how I think of safe sex moving forward.

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Italiano Grand Master

+ Italiano

Posted
Posted
I felt it was an attacking comment to me from the masseur. As if I did not care about the community by not being on Prep. “Do us a favor and get on prep” is not something you say to your client who just asked you to use condom for safe sex practice. Although it got me thinking what’s the benefits and drawbacks of everyone is on prep.

 

Thanks all for sharing your opinions. I am trying to be as unbiased as I can about how I think of safe sex moving forward.

Do you mind to share the name of that masseur @mcskill ? Without the final idiotic comment, but I had a similar experience. You can PM me if you prefer.

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Mustang Community Regular

Mustang

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Posted
Not sure what’s idiotic about encouraging a sexually active gay man to be on prep.

 

You got he was being encouraged out of this story?? Wow.

 

He was being shamed into being on PrEP so some half-wit masseur could bareback him. The decision to be on PrEP is his and his doctors based on many factors.

 

Show some sensitivity.

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