Told by masseur to be on prep

[MRJJ]

What’s idiotic about it, is that an escort is touting himself as a “community health advocate”, with questionable sex practices.

And had the audacity to be snarky about it.

Agreed. One's decision to go on prep is an individual's decision alone, in consultation with a medical professional. It should not be assumed that every sexually active male should just go on it. There may be other factors to consider in regard to one's medical history, of which the masseur may not be aware.

[+ nycman]

I would guess that the massage therapist is a well intentioned....ass wipe.

 

Do what works for you.

 

Decide the risks you are willing to take and stick to your guns.

[+ oldNbusted]

"PrEP" and the "community" are red herrings, the only question is what codswallop he would have unleashed if the OP was on PrEP and had still insisted on condom use. The guy is just trying to emotionally blackmail someone into bareback sex. No means no, this guy can fuck off.

[Jim_n_NYC]

Reading this thread, I have to keep reminding myself we are talking about the massage section, not the escort section. (Not judging what should or should not happen between consenting adults) Seems more like a conversation I would have seen on the other side.

[Guy Fawkes]

It was. Move on.

 

I felt it was an attacking comment to me from the masseur. As if I did not care about the community by not being on Prep. “Do us a favor and get on prep” is not something you say to your client who just asked you to use condom for safe sex practice. Although it got me thinking what’s the benefits and drawbacks of everyone is on prep.

 

Thanks all for sharing your opinions. I am trying to be as unbiased as I can about how I think of safe sex moving forward.

[Massageislife]

"PrEP" and the "community" are red herrings, the only question is what codswallop he would have unleashed if the OP was on PrEP and had still insisted on condom use. The guy is just trying to emotionally blackmail someone into bareback sex. No means no, this guy can fuck off.

"Emotional blackmail" seems a little strong. Indeed, much of the criticism of the provider does. A good interpersonal connection is important, so the comment, as described, would probably have meant no return visit for me, but--given the pervasiveness of barebacking--I'm glad to hear that, for some of these guys, being on PREP is become an expectation. Everyone weighing in about other STDs is absolutely right, though. I had an, um, "friend" who got chlamydia in their ass. It wasn't pretty. ☹️

[gallahadesquire]

5. Mama: "Don't you emember what I said about safe sex? Keep your legs crossed!"

 

Me: "Oh Lawd, thought you said fingers!"

Aspirin is a very good therapy against all sorts of diseases ... just put one between your knees and keep it clenched there.

[+ oldNbusted]

"Emotional blackmail" seems a little strong. Indeed, much of the criticism of the provider does.

 

My reading of the OP implies the guy attempted penetration without a condom without consent. Do you read it differently? Regardless, once the OP said no penetration without a condom, that should have been the end of that conversation. Anything else is disrespecting the autonomy of others.

 

Saying “please be responsible to the community and get on prep” is trying to guilt someone into doing something that is a strictly personal choice and is emotional blackmail. Frankly, it was none of this guy's business if the OP was on PrEP or not. However, if it was going to be an issue for him, he was free to bring it up beforehand, like an adult. The guy comes across as feeling he is entitled to bareback sex because he is on PrEP. That is grotesque to me.

[Massageislife]

My reading of the OP implies the guy attempted penetration without a condom without consent. Do you read it differently? Regardless, once the OP said no penetration without a condom, that should have been the end of that conversation. Anything else is disrespecting the autonomy of others.

 

Saying “please be responsible to the community and get on prep” is trying to guilt someone into doing something that is a strictly personal choice and is emotional blackmail. Frankly, it was none of this guy's business if the OP was on PrEP or not. However, if it was going to be an issue for him, he was free to bring it up beforehand, like an adult. The guy comes across as feeling he is entitled to bareback sex because he is on PrEP. That is grotesque to me.

ONB, the OP says, "I felt that he was planning on going in." It's not clear what that means, but the masseur appears to have respected the poster's declination. As I wrote, the masseurs comment about PREP would have turned me off, but I don't see it as coercion in any way. It's badly worded advice, but for a (presumably) young sex worker in a world in which barebacking is normalized, it's good advice.

[+ oldNbusted]

ONB, the OP says, "I felt that he was planning on going in." It's not clear what that means, but the masseur appears to have respected the poster's declination.

 

After being told he needed a condom, the guy said said he didn't need a condom. I am puzzled that anyone would find that respectful, I would have (and have) walked away at that point. And then the gratuitous parting shot. This is one of those situations that looks worse the more closely you examine it, not better.