Lookin

6 hours ago, azdr0710 said:

I've flashed my headlights a few times at others, thinking their high beams were on, then their REAL high beams come back at me. I'm sure they know they have badass LEDs that bother others.  Some of these are after-market modifications for those who want to become badass. 

Mine's a fairly recent low-to-the-ground sedan with a horizontal strip of LED's.  I get flashed occasionally and flash my brights back to let them know I'm not trying to be inconsiderate.  I've got to work with the headlights I've got.

With the incredible range of headlight shapes, sizes and elevations these days, I find it hard to believe that regulations are as tight as they used to be.  I'm often staring directly into the headlights of oncoming cars or trucks and blue-white LED's are harsh.

That said, they do light up the road quite nicely.

There's been a lot of evolution in LED technology and it's now possible for LED lights to have warmer wavelengths.  I'm hoping that regulations will likewise evolve and create tighter standards for roadway illumination as well as for oncoming driver comfort and safety.  The last thing we need is a blinded driver coming at us. 😳

On 7/28/2023 at 9:30 PM, bashful said:

I've thought of hitting on some guys at the grocery store, but haven't because I don't trust my gaydar.

I may have something bigger in the van, if you'd like to help me look

5 hours ago, Coolwave35 said:

I woke up a bit ago to my house being messy. Nothing is damaged or irreparable, but they were messy. I cleaned everything up, and the next train home is two hours away. At this point he’s still passed out in his room and didn’t hear me stirring about.

Perhaps you could tell him not to forget the thousand dollars you left under his pillow.  

15 hours ago, jessmapex said:

Torturing another human being for sexual pleasure is beyond my comprehension. I was trying to find what evolutionary factors lead to this type of proclivity in some humans.

It's a worthwhile and fascinating subject, that's for sure.  One of my favorite books, The Moral Animal, examines evolutionary psychology in some depth and this article, The Evolution of Empathy, looks at the role of empathy in particular.

Not that nurture - as opposed to nature - doesn't play a role in whether or not we care about others; it does.  It's just that the human species, among others, has found that empathy is important to the survival of the species and it's a characteristic that will persist throughout the generations.  Folks who lack empathy will tend to reproduce less.

Of course, there will be those individuals, like Heuermann, who lack empathy.  Whether it's because he's missing a gene, or because of his upbringing, or some combination, care for others either was never there or was ground out.

I expect it is possible to identify a lack of empathy through psychological testing or by observation.  The issue then would be what do we do about it?  Do we content ourselves with the knowledge that it's a recessive trait and affects a minority of the population?  Do we try to overcome it through training or punishment?  Do we remove people without empathy from society?

Personally, if I come across someone who lacks empathy, I make sure to keep far away.  Unfortunately, Heuermann's victims needed to make a living and were not lucky enough to avoid him.

Perhaps the only good thing about these tragedies is that others may start asking the questions that you have and trying to figure out how to keep these misfits from harming others.

9 hours ago, Archangel said:

Why? Why would you pay for that? Especially if you both disliked it

Sorry.  I got a kick out of @Coolwave35's post about having a guy he couldn't stand on retainer and decided to have some fun with it.  I should have waited until there's a just-kidding emoji.  This one sometimes works in a pinch -  - but it didn't do the job this time.

I've actually never had anyone on retainer, probably because my canoodling cravings have never been that constant or predictable.  I stand in awe of those whose are.

3 hours ago, Coolwave35 said:

I have an arrangement like that with a guy that is on retainer. Whenever he is in my area, staying, or driving through, he just texts me to come home and he’s at my house waiting. It costs me $750 a month for the service.  No overnights though, because I really can’t stand him . . 

I once had a guy on retainer who couldn't stand me.

He'd come over Friday nights and tell me all the things he disliked about me: my looks, my personality, my car, clothes, furniture . . .  He'd stay for an hour and the minute he left I'd cheer right up and go have the best weekend ever.  

On 7/15/2023 at 1:17 PM, jeezifonly said:

I also think greed at the top will only increase . . .

So what makes the folks at the top think they won't also be replaced by AI?  

Get me Joan Crawfish and I'll direct it myself

3 hours ago, CuriousByNature said:

And when I lived out there a bear was seen walking over one of the main bridges into the city.  Maybe it had a pied a terre downtown that it used on the weekends.

He's probably out shitting in the woods .     . . He's just like you at that age

On 7/15/2023 at 10:57 AM, Unicorn said:

But do you think it was rude for guests to ask for wine in this situation? I've never asked for wine at pool parties when I didn't see any.

No pool here but I do have a potluck every Fourth of July.  In the past, I've filled the cooler with champagne, wine, beer, water, fruit drinks, and sodas.  In addition, everyone has always brought what they like to drink and I've ended up with more leftover alcohol than I'll drink in a year.  🤤

So this year I decided not to buy any wine and, lo and behold, some guy decided that's what he wants.  I found a bottle in the refrigerator to tide him over, but I wouldn't have felt bad if there had been none.  This isn't Cheers and, if somebody has a preferred drink, they can damn well bring some.

Not sure what Emily Post would have to say.  She'd probably tell me that a good host would have plenty of everything his guests might want and she'd probably tell my guest that he shouldn't come to a potluck without bringing something to drink.  I'm pretty sure she'd tell us both that good manners means making sure the other person feels comfortable.  I guess the best resolution in this case would have been for my (and your) guest to have been satisfied with what's on offer.  And, once they missed that boat, the next best resolution was for you and me to do our best to make our guest happy.  Which we did.

Though, just to be on the safe side, I'll try doing a better job on next year's guest list.  

♬   ♪ ♪       There you are!  I dreamed an evil queen had soured all the apples.

On 6/1/2023 at 5:36 AM, pubic_assistance said:

Sometimes I am hosted by a family who didn't bring their chef . . .

La!  Don't you hate when that happens?!!

I was once hosted by a family who not only didn't bring their chef but left the chauffeur behind too.  I'd given my valet the week off and there we were with nothing but a gardener, two maids and a butler who had just turned Hare Krishna and wouldn't serve anything that had ever walked on four legs.  🐮

Fortunately I had been to the Edibles Emporium before getting on the ferry and had brought a week's supply of gummy worms.

Gummies for breakfast, gummies for lunch and gummies for dinner.  The wine cellar was stocked too, so at least we had something to wash them down with.  🥴

I can't remember if we were in the Grove or the Pines or even if we were on an island.  I'm pretty sure it was on the East Coast though as I don't recall  anybody wearing any tie dye.

Ah, you can't buy memories like that.  

On 5/26/2023 at 8:04 PM, BSR said:

You can write post after post after post on this obscure, virtually impossible-to-find Internet forum . . .

15 hours ago, Becket said:

But I for one am delighted to have this obscure, virtually impossible-to-find Internet forum.

Same here. 

I was Googling 'hair spray' one day a few years ago and landed smack in the middle of the Fetish Forum.   I guess Siri thought I said 'ass play'.

I didn't think anybody was here but, just as I was about to sign off, some guy showed up looking for a new transmission.  He must have typed in 'a new trans mission' instead.  We chatted for a while and after he was gone I realized this was the quietest, most peaceful place on the entire world wide web.

From then on, I started coming here whenever things got too hectic in the rest of the on-line world.  My ISP charged for bandwidth in those days and suddenly my monthly bill dropped to zero.  They actually emailed me for a welfare check but I told them I'd found this internet forum where nobody ever came and when they did they just figured the server must be down.

I keep thinking eventually the word will get out and we'll start getting the hermit crowd or folks who have taken a vow of silence but so far, so good.

Perhaps one day when the Webb telescope has peered into every nook and cranny of the universe, NASA can refocus it here and see what a black hole really looks like.

In the meantime, we'll have the place to ourselves, going where no posters have ever gone before.  🚀

. . . . . Weighed?  I thought you said I'd need to get laid.

3 hours ago, Simon Suraci said:

Wow, you cats really did make something out of nothing. Nice 👍

Some threads are just meant to be highjacked.  

10 hours ago, wsc said:

Can we not display to others, both "givers" and "takers," the same consideration as we would wish for ourselves, and simply assume that no offense was intended?

Going into this thread, that would have been my take also.

However, having learned that several posters do find questions of ethnic origin to be insensitive or insulting, I've got no problem finding something else to talk about.

Seems equally simple to assume that folks are worthy of respect according to their own criteria.  If it takes a little extra effort and understanding on my part, I can't see any harm in that.  And I'd sure be grateful if someone showed the same effort and understanding towards me.

4 hours ago, José Soplanucas said:

Indeed, it is a question that requires tact, but as other posters shared, I have asked it countless times in friendly conversation with no issues.

Are you from around here? . . . . The Orion Nebula . . . . Funny, you don't look Nebulous

Thread overboard!

I rarely have more than one item a day in my 'Junk' folder and that hasn't changed.  It's a surprise to hear that some folks get a hundred, or even ten, a day.  😳

Only thing I can think of is that I rarely give out my email address except to friends and the few organizations and businesses I deal with on a regular basis.  I've had an email account for about thirty years, and use only one email address.  But I tell most folks who ask that I don't have one.  I think they look at me like an old Luddite and roll their eyes.  🙄

Fine with me, as I enjoy the peace and quiet.  😌

Heh heh heh heh heh!

2 hours ago, sync said:

(other than the recent city-wide power failure, which stalled all the elevators on the very day I had an unusually large grocery delivery, which I had to jackass up four flights of stairs in about eight trips.)

I hope somebody remembered the Tater Tots™ . . .

6 hours ago, samhexum said:

“This is the most energetic phenomenon I have ever encountered,”

He's clearly never been to a Black Friday sale.  

Two things about San Francisco: neighborhoods and microclimates.  There are so many different experiences you could have in San Francisco that you may want to gloss over generalities.  Lands End, the Mission, Fisherman's Wharf, the Financial District, Telegraph Hill, Pacific Heights, the Castro, Golden Gate Park, the Tenderloin will all give you different experiences of what San Francisco is like.  So will your attitude.  If you're a complainer, you'll find dozens of things to complain about.  If you're an explorer, you'll find years' worth of adventures.

I lived in Boston one summer many years ago and thought it was fantastic.  Beacon Hill at night was like a fantasyland.  Of course I was a fit twenty-something at the time and was accompanied by locals who wanted to make sure I had a nice time.  They did and I did.  

If you're someone who likes to have a good time, I don't think you'll be disappointed by either city.  Even watching a city wrestle with its problems, at least in my opinion, is not a waste of time.  It may turn out that you'll stick around and try to help.  You seem to be a learner and that's a valuable quality.  👍

3 hours ago, mike carey said:

I must have been eating at the wrong places. No sign at all of any influencers at the diners I was at!

Same here!  Who has time for taking pictures?  

58 minutes ago, Charlie said:

I bought one of those magazines in 1960, and saw that the names of the photographers were listed in the back, and by using a phone book, I discovered that one of them lived near me. A friend and I went to his home, rang his doorbell, and told him where we had found his name, and said that we were trying to find out where to buy posing straps. He was a middle-aged accountant whose hobby was "physique photography."🙄 He invited us in, and said he would give us straps if we would take our clothes off and try them on, which we did. That led to something other than photographs.

Good gosh, @Charlie, I sure hope you've got a book deal in the works!  I'm clearing my coffee table as we speak.  

What towel?