EastCoastBtm

My honest assessment is that I was most connected to the community in the 80’s as we were losing people left and right, and needed to lean on each other. It was concurrent with my own coming out and like many others at the time we got to know the excitement of exploring love and sex in a minefield.  “Somewhat connected to the community”would apply in the years following, after finding my partner (we both were in industries where neither of us was the token) and overall, less so in the last twenty years as the boomers turning to seniors. What binds us still is to recall the memories of the indignities suffered in school, the kinds of choices available to me in bridging all the elements of family, work, and community, just as young people are today. Together we are a unifying force of self acceptance that we all know to varying degrees. Some of us see it distantly in the rear view, where it serves as a reminder going forward with eyes front.
 
I like to think of myself as “Gaymeritus” An honorary nod that I helped when I could, but needed to tend career and home as I escaped to the suburbs, and continued to promote visibility, and help those individuals still being plowed under by a disease the President at the time chose  to ignore.
 
My curious nature keeps me looking for what young people and “new gays” are up to, and the impressive range of activism is so much broader, connected to their direct experience, and approached in more current ways, using universal advantages of our digital comms systems and finding new ways of engaging. Bravo to their fearlessness in tackling new challenges (bigger and more urgent than marriage) and I’m excited to see how they continue to push for the idea of equality and fairness for all, not just fellow queer people. 

Not Connected at All
Why not?
As I am now firmly considered 'middle aged' (48yo - the gay elderly years), I look at things like Instagram and the 'gay press' and feel no connection to being gay anymore.  Gay bars and clubs, if even still in business, have lost their appeal.  Dating at this age, mostly feels a competition for consolation prizes.  Where do we derive our 'gay identity' from anymore?  I feel adrift. 
Part of me feels like it is too late.  I always felt ostracized by the 'mean girl body fascists' in the large cities I lived in my gay youth - DC, Philly, SF, NYC.  Looking down the road to my 50s, 60s, and hopefully 70s, I have a sense of fear and dread being alone or relying on my straight relatives for companionship.  
I'm coming off of a COVID 16 months of living with Mom in rural NC and its been wonderful connecting as an adult with her, but my return to the city looms.  For the first time in my life, I'm moving to the far suburbs to give something new a try.  It will be likely be harder to find other gay men, but I will give it my best try.  
I've read so many news stories about the epidemic of gay loneliness especially for gay Gen X men.  I apologize for the melancholia here, but just searching for like souls.  This forum is one of the few places, albeit small, where I find some connection still. 
 

Not Connected at All
Why not?
As I am now firmly considered 'middle aged' (48yo - the gay elderly years), I look at things like Instagram and the 'gay press' and feel no connection to being gay anymore.  Gay bars and clubs, if even still in business, have lost their appeal.  Dating at this age, mostly feels a competition for consolation prizes.  Where do we derive our 'gay identity' from anymore?  I feel adrift. 
Part of me feels like it is too late.  I always felt ostracized by the 'mean girl body fascists' in the large cities I lived in my gay youth - DC, Philly, SF, NYC.  Looking down the road to my 50s, 60s, and hopefully 70s, I have a sense of fear and dread being alone or relying on my straight relatives for companionship.  
I'm coming off of a COVID 16 months of living with Mom in rural NC and its been wonderful connecting as an adult with her, but my return to the city looms.  For the first time in my life, I'm moving to the far suburbs to give something new a try.  It will be likely be harder to find other gay men, but I will give it my best try.  
I've read so many news stories about the epidemic of gay loneliness especially for gay Gen X men.  I apologize for the melancholia here, but just searching for like souls.  This forum is one of the few places, albeit small, where I find some connection still. 
 

Not Connected at All
Why not?
As I am now firmly considered 'middle aged' (48yo - the gay elderly years), I look at things like Instagram and the 'gay press' and feel no connection to being gay anymore.  Gay bars and clubs, if even still in business, have lost their appeal.  Dating at this age, mostly feels a competition for consolation prizes.  Where do we derive our 'gay identity' from anymore?  I feel adrift. 
Part of me feels like it is too late.  I always felt ostracized by the 'mean girl body fascists' in the large cities I lived in my gay youth - DC, Philly, SF, NYC.  Looking down the road to my 50s, 60s, and hopefully 70s, I have a sense of fear and dread being alone or relying on my straight relatives for companionship.  
I'm coming off of a COVID 16 months of living with Mom in rural NC and its been wonderful connecting as an adult with her, but my return to the city looms.  For the first time in my life, I'm moving to the far suburbs to give something new a try.  It will be likely be harder to find other gay men, but I will give it my best try.  
I've read so many news stories about the epidemic of gay loneliness especially for gay Gen X men.  I apologize for the melancholia here, but just searching for like souls.  This forum is one of the few places, albeit small, where I find some connection still. 
 

Geezuz.... how do I get on the secret referral list?!?

I don't know about a rom-com, but I wish there were providers that would set up a great vacation getaway spot/private home where I could bring another provider / friend with benefits / fuck buddy / boyfriend / whatever and have a wild sex weekend without worrying that the owners are going to freak out that I spilled silicone lube on the mattress (which you can get out with baby shampoo by the way!).  I've used two Airbnbs and the owners definitely 'telegraphed' that I should NOT be getting pounded while visiting.
I started another thread about this in The Lounge I think.  Someone recommended Misterbnb.  I did check that out, but I wasn't sure if I should send an email to the listing owner - "Hi, can I rent your place so I can smoke weed and get fucked by a bunch of guys?".  If I was comfortable with the listing owner, I don't care if they are in the next room....getting assumptive on whether they try to join.... let's keep those lines clearly drawn for now......
Sexbnb needs to be launched.....  

Over the last few years, I've worked to lose a bunch of weight....  all said I've dropped around 150 pounds.  Afterwards, I had a ton of excess skin and as a result I had a tummy tuck and a flank lift done.  There were a few spots afterwards that I was still not quite happy with so I also had smart (laser) lipo to touch up the upper part of my stomach.  
Ultimately if you're looking to make a change, the question would be what do you like and dislike about yourself.  From there it comes down to what procedure would be best to make you feel better about it.  A site that was super helpful to me was www.realself.com.  It has details about tons of different procedures as well as what are different options for different parts of the body.  There are real doctors that post and give advice there and was actually how I found my surgeon (who coincidentally was the same one who reattached John Wayne Bobbit's dong after being lobbed off).  

Yeap... I got one of those down....  the healthy eating.... but I have been very limited with lifting and cardio because of an ankle injury/surgery and torn rotator cuff/shoulder injury.... so we do what we can @azdr0710 !!  I'm not asking for miracles here....

I find that our community values bodies over faces.  Just my opinion.

Let me ask you guys, if I wanted to put together a 3way, would you rather have me set it up w both guys separately, or contact one of you and have you suggest or bring along a compatible buddy?

So alas, it ended up being a three-way. One of the guys cancelled on me last minute, but the three of us ended up having some good fun so all in all not a bad night.
Jake  and Ali are wonderful, sexy guys and it was fun being double-teamed by these two. 

I hope it was all you wanted and more! 

This thread has also inspired me to plan a three way with eyes on a four or five....
For the 3 or more scenario.....Don't think I want them all at once....
My favorite (and most caring guy) will be there the entire time watching over me and helping things along... the other tops will likely be two hour sessions overlapped so I have a constant supply of hard dick in both ends....one guy, two guys, three guys, two guys, one guy....Pyramid timing!
Recovering from ankle surgery, moving back to the northeast in August has given me plenty of time to think and plan this!
Thanks for the inspiration.

A few years ago I had some fat removed from my love handles, which are practically gone, and injected into my hands and temples. The look is discreet but very pleasing. It’s an overnight process, but the healing was rapid. I tolerated it so well that I may have some injected into my lower face to prevent jowls. I also use filler from time to time and Botox. It’s all about the maintenance.

If you feel like this is a serious threat, get legal advice.
https://money.usnews.com/money/personal-finance/articles/find-legal-help-when-you-cant-afford-a-lawyer
Just ensure they are willing to extend Attorney-Client Privilege to your conversations, then you can tell them anything!  
Get advice on how to handle.

This thread has also inspired me to plan a three way with eyes on a four or five....
For the 3 or more scenario.....Don't think I want them all at once....
My favorite (and most caring guy) will be there the entire time watching over me and helping things along... the other tops will likely be two hour sessions overlapped so I have a constant supply of hard dick in both ends....one guy, two guys, three guys, two guys, one guy....Pyramid timing!
Recovering from ankle surgery, moving back to the northeast in August has given me plenty of time to think and plan this!
Thanks for the inspiration.

If he did, and this is purely discretionary, it would be better to do so after the event and with the providers' permission. They may welcome the promotion, particularly if they advertise groups in their ads.

This thread has also inspired me to plan a three way with eyes on a four or five....
For the 3 or more scenario.....Don't think I want them all at once....
My favorite (and most caring guy) will be there the entire time watching over me and helping things along... the other tops will likely be two hour sessions overlapped so I have a constant supply of hard dick in both ends....one guy, two guys, three guys, two guys, one guy....Pyramid timing!
Recovering from ankle surgery, moving back to the northeast in August has given me plenty of time to think and plan this!
Thanks for the inspiration.

If you feel like this is a serious threat, get legal advice.
https://money.usnews.com/money/personal-finance/articles/find-legal-help-when-you-cant-afford-a-lawyer
Just ensure they are willing to extend Attorney-Client Privilege to your conversations, then you can tell them anything!  
Get advice on how to handle.

Stop talking about politics here.  Move it to the Politics thread. 
@RadioRob - Could you please close the thread?     
  
 

Thank you.....
Who were the, ahem, shall we say the 'big boys' of the weekend?
The hung ones?

Geezuz.... how do I get on the secret referral list?!?

Geezuz.... how do I get on the secret referral list?!?

Thank you.....
Who were the, ahem, shall we say the 'big boys' of the weekend?
The hung ones?

Which one is Bentley?