Personally, when in the right frame of mind, of course, I have always liked Charles Gounod's Funeral March of a Marionette, recognizable to most as the theme music to Alfred Hitchcock Presents. Steady rhythm, nice tones, and just the right hint of whimsy to accompany the rare occasions of me getting lucky. And, like me, it's done in less than 5 minutes.
I think I'm joking, but am not entirely sure. Cue music.