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That's why you always take a fat friend with you. You can outrun him, can't you?

These privacy laws are getting wildly intrusive.

I'd have been a snack following a canine appetizer.

As with some other posters, now with you: if you're going to make posts like this, you're going to have to pass cigarettes and matches around at the end.😛

His ad states near travel to Baltimore; DC is about the same distance from Frederick as is Baltimore. Maybe he's flexible in more ways than one.

Love any sport where the men can be both topless and barefoot.

As has been said, You miss all the shots you don't take.

What an absolute delight!!! I just finished watching and can barely see to type through the tears born both of sadness and of joy!

To the boys wearing white socks with the sandals - Stop it! Stop it right now! And don't ever do it again!

If you look at me like that, I will follow you home.

Doctors who do the surgeries on people like this should be sanctioned. It's worse than your dietician giving you a gift card for Cheesecake Factory.

I think he should save his fees for the optometry appointment.

Cards Against Humanity! Sometimes so very darkly funny! Used to play in some bars around town but almost all the other regulars have moved on. So, now I play Solitaire. I have no life.

Statistically, about 40% of marriages end in divorce. The others are worse - they end in death!

Like Jimmy Carr, and most other men, too, I suppose, I have sometimes fantasized about having two women at the same time: one to cook, one to clean. The closest I've been to female genitalia was at birth, and I've never looked back. A 6 - on steroids! (But I would have loved to see the confetti!)

In the Academy Award-winning film Gigi, the Maurice Chevalier character observes, "I have been riche and I have been poor. I prefer riche." Been there, done that; adjustments were needed, adjustments were made, life went on. To the young man with all best wishes, Bon Chance!

That man is so hot I want to lick his brim!

Where are the commas when you need them?

Not that my opinion matters, but Mark looks better than The Twerp.

Up front seems to be his specialty. Quite a gift!

So, about $50 per inch?

Maybe the Church could declare it an Immaculate Insertion and create a holy day as a remembrance.

While alligators are the overwhelmingly dominant semi-aquatic species in Florida (over a million and widespread), there are about 2000 crocodiles in Southern Florida; the only habitat both reptiles share. (I have family in Southern Florida.)

My first apartment after getting out of the Navy was on the second floor of a three-story building. The man above me was a Marine living off base (Quantico). I didn't hear anything most of the time but swore he wore combat boots to bed; heavy footsteps every morning - early! Can't blame someone for walking on their own floors so I lived with it, but just for the first year. After that lease was up, I moved to a top-floor apartment in a different building in the same complex and since then have always insisted on a top-floor apartment. Any chance you could move up, up, and away from the noises? I'm sure moving would be a hassle -had to do it myself 18 months ago- but the rewards of a top floor place are worth it. (Unless it's a sixth-floor walk-up, of course.)

One of the most beautiful, insightful, and moving posts I have ever read. Thank you for it, and for the smile on my face and the spring in my step. If he doesn't already, I hope your son comes to know how lucky he was and how exceptional was his father.