TallMuscl37

Am I the only one noticing this trend or has it always been this way? I just notice in 2 areas of life: 1 are the men who don’t respond to messages, or communicate. This can be clients, hookups, “acquaintances”, or after exchanging info from a new guy. Instead of just being real about something, they just drift in silence. The other area are the clients who “fight” when trying to set up a session. Especially, especially…the hookup app sites (which I use sparingly for that reason), however that’s sometimes the only way to connect in smaller markets since many of the bigger sites are unknown. Like these men want to get laid, or suck a dick…yet they want to be a bitch and argue over the most basic protocols. Yes, you need a number to show up. No, I’m not going to give my room/apt. # without one. Had one do this yesterday. Kept saying “nevermind” anytime I asked basic stuff. He eventually texted me but by that point, I was discouraged and went to bed. It was already 4 a.m., my patience isn’t particularly long at that hour, even though I am a night owl and can stay up past 3 if I need to. But how can I be turned on, if someone is being hardheaded and making it difficult to set stuff up. What is up with it all 🤦🏽‍♂️

Motorcyclist are the worst. Many of them blow past at speeds in excess of 80-90 mph, squeeze thru traffic lanes and yet then we should “watch for motorcycles”.

I’m sure this probably happens to everyone at some point, but this seems to be an almost predictable habit out in the hookup and client world. You know, when you’re getting into something…either been sucking or switch to fucking, and then 10 minutes into it the person just decides they can’t finish for whatever reason or not. And I’m not talking about cumming, but just not even either person getting off. I had that happen with a client recently, and even though I was reimbursed the 2 hour session we planned, it still had me a bit miffed. For one it was a same day booking, and I had gotten everything laid out and ready. Things were going good when like a couple minutes into the actual “act”, I guess he overdid the “relaxer” and decided to call it off. I’m just like, why do people do that? I can understand not wanting to cum for whatever reason, but I feel ending something in the heat of things is awkward and a bit insensitive. I try to tell whoever it is to give it a few minutes and do something different, either Massage, or chat. Sometimes it helps, but not always. Last year I had a guy who backed out like 3-4 times during the session. He would stop, say he’s not comfortable, then continue. Then stop, and do it again. I was patient, but getting annoyed. Finally, I just let him go. It makes me feel like someone is either sampling, or simply not at a level to communicate enough to just enjoy the moment.

It’s good to have regulars, but I’ve found it to be somewhat a hassle to keep regulars on schedule in the KC market. I had a good double hour session with one last month, and we’re supposed to be arranging it this week. So far no response. Most of the times when someone has tried to get a 2nd meet, they either don’t leave room to coordinate or contact last minute, only to have something come up and have to cancel. One trend I do keep noticing in Kansas City on an almost weekly basis: is guys coming thru to visit, maybe for 2 or 3 days and “available now” and then gone. Either they’re getting business because they are the new ones on the block, or they are just coming thru and not that busy either. I only come to the area to rest in between tours, almost like a flight attendant. But I still rely on getting at least 2 or 3 bookings during the 1-3 weeks that I may be here. It’s like moving mountains even trying to get that to happen. I didn’t have much in the way of issues with my deposit policy when I was traveling to other areas of the Midwest last week, but for whatever reason, people in KC seem to go out of their way to intentionally disregard my booking policy. Then when I wasn’t doing the deposits, they flaked anyway. It’s like: just can’t win with ‘em. So I just don’t show my number in my ads, if they text me I know they’ve read my website and don’t have any excuses.

On a serious note: I 💯 agree on all fronts. And it’s just sad. That’s why, even though it’s “Pride 🌈 ” month, to me it’s just another month being around more people that I don’t particularly fit in with. I’m still open to participate where I can…however it’ll be limited. And if it’s not about race, it’s about being for hire. Which just adds stigma on top of prejudice. Non of it is pleasant. I keep a low profile, and despite some providers on the forum admitting they are out and open to everyone, I’ve scaled back significantly on telling people what I do, unless it’s absolutely necessary. I was out at a gay club the other night, and majority of my compliments came from women. I know the guys were looking, and I picked up a couple, but the vast majority seemed to be intimidated or aloof. Even if people “say” they are into everybody, the fact is: we still have to work harder to garner interest, if it’s not hard to be noticed. And as I’ve said before: so many White clients out here make up majority of the flakes that I receive. One today, even sent me a picture and shared his details. But then couldn’t even get past my 2nd message before ghosting. Why even go thru the trouble if you’re not going to be serious? Either very full of shit, or very stupid because: if I was a unscrupulous provider, I would have something to work with. But I’m not so, I’m going to handle that person discreetly. The overseas thing is certainly tempting. I wish I could make the move, but I’d have to give up so much, for not a whole lot of promise to find a way. Maybe I need to try and start a long distance pen pal relationship with someone out in Europe lol. Right now I’m semi-dating a White-Russian who I used to know long time ago, but we’re now living in the same city. He’s just so much different than the typical White guys out in the Midwest. I feel like I’m hanging out with someone on an equal level, versus how many of them here behave. The bottoms here come off bossy and demanding, almost treating me like a servant. Like, how does that actually work??? Maybe some of them believe by being with a Black guy, they get a free pass to act like a strong Black woman. NOT, lol.

In my experience, if they can’t show their number: they aren’t much more likely to send a deposit either. I even had someone last week promise to send a deposit via cash app, and ended up not sending it and went missing the day of (fortunately, I made no concessions so didn’t really lose out). This after contacting me across 2 sites in addition to texting me. It’s not even just the ones with burner numbers. I have iMessages/iPhone so I can see who’s contacting from those. Even those can be questionable. I can tell if anyone is using burner numbers too.

Would you believe? The same thing seems to be occurring from my end. Some clients seem to just act brain dead and unresponsive to the most basic instructions. I know I personally am still taking new clients, but not without a deposit. Simply because it’s just been too many flakes and timewasters over the past year. And it’s even much more than that: I have to do business in a very particular way, so it doesn’t really allow me much room to shrug off canceled visits. I’ve already had 2 clients miss sessions the past couple weeks, because they didn’t follow the instructions I gave to send deposit by a certain time. I’m not just going to wait around for someone to figure out what they need to do. I usually am going between different cities, hands on different things: I don’t have the disposable time to just wait around for people all day, day after day; to figure their shit out. I got tired of doing that, so I don’t see myself going back to the way I was doing things. It seems some of the game stuff ramped up towards the release of vaccines and re-opening. At one point it seemed like every client bold enough to request an appointment, followed Thru during the pandemic. Now, it’s just been a larger amount of people peeking but not really stepping forward. Yeah…that’s definitely a concerning hypothesis. However, it’s not stopping people from doing everything else. People I know all over are still out shopping, going on trips, spending money, can barely get a reservation at many restaurants on a weekend.

I’m pretty sure I’m not crazy, but…it certainly seems like there’s been a receding client pool in some markets (for all the suspected reasons). Lately, it seems majority of the clients are either fairly experienced, or regular. Which is fine, but there doesn’t seem to be as much in the way of novel clients. It’s hard to tell if it’s just my market or in general with the economy…but there doesn’t seem to be much “pop” right now. Haven’t really been getting “the businessman at hotel” calls, and even though biz is still trucking along, seems like the overall pace is not where it could be. Right now I’m trying to think which direction I want to take things. With no real “classifieds “ section on many sites, seems more like waiting for those actively looking; versus guys stumbling across unexpectedly.

I work on cars in my spare time…I have V8 and V6. One requires premium and the other recommends. lot of it has to do with where you live, your driving conditions. If you’re in Phoenix where it gets 110 and traffic, and you need to pull into the next lane and floor it to 5,600 rpm to avoid getting smashed by the approaching vehicle: don’t expect using 87 is going to “just as good”. If you’re just driving around town and not really giving much throttle, sure you won’t notice. However, it’s a chance the spark plugs could collect more carbon over time, making the vehicle even slower. Premium: slow burning, regular: fast burning. The problem is: when gas is high, it’s high. I can use midgrade in my premium ONLY vehicle from time to time. However I can do with regular just as well. Once in awhile. Even at $.050 more a gallon: 15 gallons is usually where I bottom out at 1/4 tank full. 0.50x15= $7.50. Almost a 2 gallon shortage using premium. That’s where midgrade tends to bridge the divide. In my case, it’s not just the gas prices. It’s my mileage considering early 2000s V8 and V6 despite being the best built cars (versus the electronic, plastic designs of nowadays) were designed for $1.50 gas prices lol. I average out at 20 mpg city/highway. City seems more like 14 mpg. At this rate: I see cutting highway speed limits down to 60 might be a temporary solution. Once you get above 70-75-80: mileage drops like a rock.

That and, I for one find it hard to bottom back to back. I can do it for a day, but then the sore “fucked sensation” can end up taking a couple days or so to heal. Trying to bottom again during that time can be very uncomfortable. Also for me, idk why but some guys I can handle fine, other guys I can’t. And it’s not even related to size: sometimes it can be a curve, or girth or the kind of lube. I have an appointment with a rectal and colon surgery doctor in a couple months, just to “get an exam”. I’ve heard of people getting procedures to make their ass less tight, if deemed medically necessary. I’m not a bottom but, the times it does happen: it’d be nice to not hurt so much. I do find playing with toys occasionally helps, but I just get no pleasure without the physical person there. It just feels like I’m unnecessarily forcing something up my ass. Part of the psych of bottoming is having the other guy pleasured. Wholey fuck! That’s part of why I do not like bottoms thrusting their ass on me too aggressively. Let me Fuck you, don’t try to fuck me with your ass…because If it slips, you can break something. I’ve had the sensation a few times, but nothing that rendered it out of order. Then I had an partner who used to love getting hard fucked. Well sorry bro but, this dick needs to stay in working shape. Not to mention, the sensation for me is lost when I have to use my dick like a jackhammer.

I am connected with MyChart: it’s an online health network that many hospitals/clinics now use. I can usually see my lab results the next morning after any test. There’s also your “city/metro” health clinics in many areas to get a free or low cost exam. Also, some places will treat you if you have symptoms, before awaiting test results. I wonder who this provider is? Sounded like he wasn’t being very mindful with his big dick.

I’d echo all the above. Orlando requires an extended stay/living there to see enough clients. Most were at the resort hotels: which I used to love/hate. I’d get to see nice rooms I wouldn’t stay at myself, but it was such a mission getting from the car to the hotel room. Especially the Gaylord and anything in the Disney complex. There seemed to be fewer hiring locals, and majority didn’t seem to become regulars. Why would they, considering variety is fierce there. Phoenix: it can be one of my favorite or worst. The level of flakes there can make it seem worse than it actually is. Next time I go, I’ll have be sure to stick with a firm deposit policy. St. Louis: no surprise there. It’s been my part time home market. They are recovering I think from the Covid lockdowns. They were shutdown and more strict than Kansas City. Which hurt businesses. However, I think the main issue is the mentality. People out there don’t like to pay for shit when it comes to men. They can be cheap and stingy, and seem to have a complex towards anyone in the industry. I have a select few clients I deal with, the rest I can’t be bothered to fuck with. Many already have multiple reports on the client warning sites. Haven’t done much of Pittsburg, but previous trips didn’t have me running back. It’s more of a Thru fare when traveling between the Midwest and East Coast. I wouldn’t go there again without deposits either.

-Cranberry supplements or juice (preferably the 100% with no sugar added ones. Promotes urinary health) -urinate/shower after sex -mouthwash before/after oral with back of throat gargle -work penis forward and check for discharge -limit or exclude BB activities with partners/clients if in doubt -get tested if any sign of burning/pain/discharge

Blast from the past but… I use to live there, but I only been going about twice a year nowadays. I can’t imagine many would be out there trying to do biz because trying to find an inexpensive lodging accommodation is a strategy. So I’d have to wonder how many are able to host. I’ve been trying to go for the past couple weeks, but the prices aren’t reasonable for the type of place I want to stay in. And trying to cut corners is not recommended because it won’t be decent…Plus, there’s more providers now than there was a few years ago when I first visited. So the available client pool has thinned.

Well, I didn’t necessarily specify that it was “sex” I was looking for. I think you might have confused what I was saying (and I think society as a whole misinterprets and presumes that gay man looking for another man = wanting to have sex with said man). Let’s not fall into that stereotypical trap. When I said connection, I wasn’t exactly referring to a straight guy for playing basketball ball with. I meant: another guy, in public, and he’s gay (or “gay friendly whatever”), and there’s an exchange of contact and it actually leads to SOMETHING. Not necessarily sex. Or a even a relationship. But something. Like, a gay bar buddy. Or someone to chit chat with, and one that is NOT in a gay space. I’m talking about: going to a grocery store, to the gym, or the park, or just walking about regularly. How many times has the above happened? In my case: In 15 years of being gay and of age: it’s probably only happened a handful of times. Most were when I was living in Florida in my late teens/early twenties (circa 2006-2009). Nowadays, it seems to never happen. I’ll talk to a guy or they’ll talk to me, and then we part ways after a couple of minutes. Or, in rare cases I’ve exchanged numbers/social media and they weren’t gay or ghosted once they realized I was. Not that I was looking for sex, but more so, I was “clocking” them and wanted to just “see what would happen”. Nothing creepy or obvious, but just leaving the door open. I feel hookup apps are the closest thing to random public interactions, but it’s too much of the same goal: meaningless one time sex, and usually on their terms. I’ve even tried to not meet guys for sex on hookup apps, just meet in person doing regular date stuff: that don’t always work either. They either come to table wanting to fuck right away, or lose interest after the very 1st time after meeting in a normal environment. I had that happen the other night: guy was all into me on the hookup app, and I steered the convo away from sex, not even exchanging pics. We meet at a bar in St. Louis, all seems well: then we part ways and he just quit returning my text or message on the app. Just completely ghosted 😒 I wonder if he would have done the same, if we would had ended up hooking up 🤷🏾‍♂️ This is true. Many friendships in the “culture” start with sex and become friends. However, that can be tricky to navigate if done too soon. I hate when some guys come with all the right game, great sex, and potential. And then want to pull the friend card. If that happens, both parties have to be in agreement that it’s not sexually compatible. Not just one doing whatever while the other end up being the perpetual cock block for the other friend. I can believe this: Anytime I’m in the vicinity of a married couple, it’s always the woman striking up conversation first. The man is usually dead silent lol. I’m like, what is up with that? I’m just glad that the guys are usually the ones who hit me up when booking a session lol.

Yeah, it’s unfortunate. But again, if a provider wants to get over on someone…I’ve seen it happen right in front of their face. I hear it all the time. So much so that, I’d be concerned to hire escorts if I wasn’t an escort lol. One client told me, the guy met the client outside and collected the money, and disappeared. Apparently it was just a “model home”. Other times, a hot young boy in a picture was a much older man in person. I’ve heard it all. However, that’s where the credentials come into play. I did without deposits for a good majority throughout, only doing them for occasional out of area meets. But, I just don’t enjoy working on “the edge” anymore. I like to know that even if the person has something come up, I’m still getting something out of it. That’s just me. I been played too many times, over the past few months…to where a client has to at least acknowledged my position, before seeing me. Plus, I have upfront expenses before I see clients many times. If I have to get a room, or drive, it’s all money upfront for me. I’ve paid for hotels, given out my address…and MoFos fail to show up and I’m out of money and time. And there’s not a whole lot of insight on the client’s end to believe each and everyone. So…I have to do what I need to do. This is perfect! If every one wrote this way, it would be less time depend. I’d probably want to still ask a deposit…just because that’s just my standard right now. Otherwise, everything you’ve mentioned is transparent and understandable. Only thing I could say is: you mentioned a lot of window of time, but ensure that’s what it actually is. Sometimes people will say they’re available whenever, but then change it up. Like the one guy I mentioned elsewhere, he said earlier in the week that he would be available anytime after 7…but then the day of, had some BS excuse about having made other plans right after our session. How was I supposed to know? What a jerk. I was 1,800 miles from home, in an unfamiliar and large city. And he wanted to be a bitch about me needing a little more time to arrive. After I was nice enough to waive the deposit. Never again. Ever. Some people try to cram other plans in the same time of day as their escort session. Don’t. If you have a date, stick with that plan for at least the “section” of that day. That leaves room to extend the session or any timing adjustments/delays.

Seems like guys had so much more bold back in the 90s. bumping into you while picking out cucumbers 😆 Many public meets I do get, are more like: “I seen you at…” on a hookup app. It actually annoyed me when one guy who’d been trying to meet each other awhile, HMU on Grindr saying he seen me at Walmart. I’m like, why didn’t you say anything??? It made me wonder if he’s either super DL or catfish. We never did end up meeting. Gay guys in small towns are so afraid. Even in Saint Louis, nobody even bothers approaching anyone outside of their group even in gay environments. The times I have, they seem terrified. But then later they’re trying to hookup like, ASAP. I wish people would just get out of the fear of being found out. It’s 2022, MoFos out here still hiding in the closet or afraid to show they’re into someone. I can’t do all the work all the time.

35 years ago? Caribbean? Cum loads? Speaks French? 🤬 I wonder if it might of been a distant relative of mine, all of the above adds up, and I turn 35 in 3 months. HMU 🤙🏾 if you want a reenactment 😆

Well that’s the thing, I don’t refer to it needing to end up having “sex”. But just something better than exchanging a social media page that we exchange a message or 2, but doesn’t lead to trying to connect again. I even got one guy’s number at the gym (not something I normally do), and he gave it to me. But then couple days and conversation later, he’s saying he’s not gay or bi but doesn’t judge 🤦🏽‍♂️ lol. I was dropping hints, but respectively though. Umm, sort of a combination of the 2, but with less emphasis on the latter. For example: I don’t like to reach out to someone on the basis of it being like I’m trying to right away have sex together. For one, I don’t like to promote the stereotype of a cruisey gay dude. I just talk to people in a general tone, even if I do find them attractive. Most don’t approach me first, but I’ve had some who do. If I approach them, I try to leave the door open a little for them to make a move. If they come to me, I try to be a little more forward without necessarily making it obvious. I know also: sometimes you have to really be in the right neighborhood to have success. Most of my interactions involve Midwestern suburban White guys who seem all nice and open to chat initially, but then go ghost when it’s time to connect any further. When I lived in Florida, most people don’t talk to you in public unless they want something, and the times I have: most tend to immediately think you’re hitting on them, and will blow you off (no pun intended 😆

Gas is certainly crazy still, and I’m not doing any unnecessary long tours until things settle. I paid the most for gas in March and April when I was in Washington and Northern California. It started with $4.50 in Utah, and kept going. Thing is: I wasn’t spending so much once I reached my destination because I was mostly doing incalls and any outcalls, weren’t too far. However, my engines get crap fuel mileage in the city…I just had to change out all 16 spark plugs (I own 2 V8s and both ask premium) just to ensure I’m doing what I can to boost mileage. The most drain came when I had to commute between cities and the west is so spread out. Part of why I just don’t have the inclination to live in places like California, Denver and Phoenix as much. To get to the next major city going north, east or west, it requires 1.5 tank of gas. Missouri usually has been at $2-3 a gallon anytime of the year. Now it’s peaked at $4 most recently. All the people visiting for graduations AND Memorial Day. With Monkey Pox and Recession looming: maybe gas will be down to $1 a gallon in due time (I actually did fill up for $1.08/gallon back in April 2020). Seems like they want to go up when things are good, scale back when things are not.

I refer to most everything public: jogging, gym, grocery store, library, whatever. Anything besides apps, services or gay bars (I know this may be irrelevant to some due to personal discretions). I ask because my level of success with it, seems to be dwindling. It's not like I go out actively seeking to connect or "cruise", not being judgemental but mainly because there's just a limited option to do so in 99% of America especially midwest and small city America. Most of that seems to be confined to cruisy "parks" and beaches in the bigger cities: which I also put under the umbrella of gay environment. I've had several instances where I may have talked to (or been talked to) by a dude, no expectations or assumptions...just seeing where their head is at and just being open to whatever things go. After a few minutes, if I sense they are at least half way interested, I may ask for an instagram (seems much less invasive and forward than a phone number). Most seem to always be open to. However, when it comes down to trying to connect beyond that one instance, it never goes anywhere. They may reply to a couple of messages, and then just go ghost. Some have even been gay, but there's been many "possibly gay" guys. I even had a guy chat me up at a restraunt type of bar (he was “straight”, but he was very much being flirty), spend a good half hour shooting the shit, and I even "hinted" towards him my orientation. Which he seemed cool with. We switched instagrams and exchanged a message or 2 and then...couldn’t get it up. Similiar to the timewasters we deal with as escorts, I find "timewasters" exist just out in random: they talk with you, but don't seem to bother going to next level the situation. It's like, if you don't like me...give me a fake number or instagram or something lol. I feel when people hesitate, why can't they just be real and say how they feel? Main reason I even open myself up to it is because the gay "scene" can feel so washed up and repetitive. Especially like I said, in smaller market cities. Even when it seems like there's a lot of people around on the apps, they all seem "hidden" in real life: either partnered, closeted, or "out there". It kind of gives me an impression/conclusion that, if they aren't in a gay space: it's not worth the effort to even read into or carry on a conversation at all. It seems like many are wrapped in their own bubble: Anyone who does things that’s different than the norm, is cause for suspicion. Like: most dudes don’t have the courage to step outside of their circle. When they meet someone who does: they can’t handle it. Even though I don't dress "obvious", I do try to dress "approachable", that would give off hints. But nope, unless I'm in a gay environment (and even then), it seems to be less common now that people come up to me. It seemed like in my late teens/early 20s, I'd get more guys (usually Tops and may have only happened like 3-4 times over a course of a couple years) approach me out and about. But now the only ones I can seem to get hit on in public are White Women or I get random older White guys who just want to chat me up in the grocery store...about nothing I'm interested in talking about lol.

I can’t recall the particular situation I was referring to. I think I remember though. I believe I did send it over at the time. However I had a couple other bookings after that who didn’t mind fronting the deposit. Even though I can understand someone being burned, based on what I’ve had done and not done: it’s important for me to at least mention a deposit. Some people do go ghost and don’t reply when I do, but I try to follow up with them again to see if they have any concerns about it. Most times it helps, other times they just say nothing. Which to me tends to imply they aren’t really viewing me professionally, and could just as likely fall thru or haven’t fully made up their minds.

lol, define too expensive?

Articles like this suck because it does kinda reinforce some stigma against MSM and especially Black MSMs (since this virus seems to originate in Africa and even has a racist undertone to it). people love to ask if one is neg/d-d free. If one even has to ask that, over a lousy text, that shows of level of sexual responsibility immaturity. That’s like going to the grocery store, and asking: “Is this rib-eye 🥩 safe to eat?” Would it be on display if it wasn’t? And even if it was, that doesn’t mean one shouldn’t take a whiff or not cook it. And if you do it rare or raw, there’s a statement re: undercooked meat and it’s at your own risk 😆

If that system works for you, that’s great. Unfortunately, it can be a bit harder to know here who’s serious in certain markets. In some areas, people don’t see (especially of certain ethnic) escorts as professionals, and approach in a way like they want a hookup. Even people who make times and plans can still fall thru at the last minute. Leaving one with missed earnings. I’ve had the happen multiple times especially the ones who seem like they want to book the next day, and then “wake up sick” the next day. That’s why I had to stay adamant about pre-deposits. Also got tired of chasing down for cancellation fees. Even at a rate of 50%, that’s more inquiries not turning into bookings than I’d prefer. That could mean 1 out of 2 clients show up to my hotel in a day (not good). In some cases though I am willing waive deposits for some, but they usually have to do something else to verify: like provide their address and phone number. But even that’s not always enough. Right, but the problem is: both of the clients mentioned, I’ve met before. So sometimes it can be a little harder to dismiss them if you know they’re real. But even repeat clients can be F.O.S. Like this example below: This is a client I’ve met twice. He made a joke, followed by the above response (in grey). Granted, I probably opened the door to it by contacting him 1st to let him know I’m back in the area and available. So there is some merit to what @Jamie21 said about not contacting clients and letting them do the contact. But I know some clients appreciate being contacted about a provider’s return to the area, though some like to engage knowing damn well they aren’t in a position to. One thing I am tired of though: is gay guys IN GENERAL wasting my time. I’ve had that happen like twice in the past couple weeks. I have a system and do ask deposits from clients, but now I have to have to start implementing a system for hookup app guys too (if I don’t decide to just discontinue the use of them all, because they’re the biggest timewasters of any platform). One who I met before and had a good time, the 2nd time I come over and he’s smoking weed, all tired and watching YouTube videos and barely talking or wanted to fuck. Next morning, he’s bouncing around at 6:30 a.m. talking about he has to be at work by 7 (meaning I had to go). Yet I barely got a wink of sleep because it was hot and he snored too much. Another idiot in St. Louis I met at a nightclub, then I invited him over the next day. He comes in, looking like he’s been up all night, and immediately trying to have sex like he’s a paying client. After sampling each other for 10 minutes, he quits and get dressed unexpectedly. All the while, every red flag was telling me no, no, no. Don’t even open the door for him (because he wouldn’t leave me his number, but I had his Instagram and grindr). But his looks had me ignoring all the signs 🤦🏽‍♂️ You would think as gay people, we’d be there for each other, showing a bit more integrity. Nope. The gay scene in many areas fosters “White bonding”, but the level of smug and “do for me” attitude towards gay men of color is appalling. That’s why I’m not going out of my way for anybody else if they can’t show an equal level of effort