TallMuscl37

Well that's the thing: if someone wants to play the "not interested/not serious" card once, I won't be willing to give them a 2nd chance to pull it again. When I have: I will usually bring it up the next time they contact me, if they don't get blocked. I wouldn't refer to it as self-inflicted stress. After all: it's them who's initiating the contact, and them playing childish, duck duck goose games at 67 years old (as one “client” who ghosted mentioned). I think anyone would feel a bit annoyed about that. Who wouldn't? If someone reaches out to contact about a booking, at-least have the decency to respond back when the other provider replies. I do all the above and guess what? Some still don't follow back up. Or they aren't consistent about it. It's all good though. It just continues to give me more reason and incentive to stick with a firm upfront policy when discussing any bookings. It does result in fewer texts, but at this rate: it's better to have 1 serious client who actually reads and goes thru the booking process, versus dealing with numerous back to back fakers who act like they want to make an appointment. This is once again a by product I believe, of there being more escorts than some markets can handle. Seems the more escorts in an area, the higher the number of fallout too. Even if it’s just a handful: that handful could give more room for people to “do the rounds”. Seems like if you’re not engaging them right away, when they contact, the booking is gone before it’s even confirmed. Sometimes people like that may not be bad clients, but they aren’t consistent clients and even if a good session comes out of it, those types often tend to go months before reaching out for another booking.

Should these types be blocked or followed up on? When it’s the latter, then I feel like I’m having to chase after people and that’s very annoying especially when it happens after only a message or 2. Like how many messages do I have to send to get someone to reply back? I’ve had like 2-3 people in the past couple days contact me (once again leads to the “should I take my number down” post), and then when I reply back a time or 2 with a informative worded follow up, they don’t reply back. The other ones are those who respond back initially, but when they don’t get a response back within a 10 minute time frame or so, they start sending “??” Or “are you there”, and when finally return their text and let them know you’re busy at the moment: they don’t respond. I’m about to start not responding to them, because it seems most don’t pay attention to my ad that instructs people to send consultation deposit when requesting a session. This is exactly why I can’t do it any other way too long, because most don’t seem to want or act like they can’t read 🤦🏽‍♂️

The usual excuses: “I’m partnered, married, etc.” in a case like that then yeah, by all means use a burner number versus non at all. Just be prepared to come with additional verification.

I find it better to have prerecorded vids if they want to see. A client of mine tried doing a FaceTime show the other month and it was a bit much trying to position the camera and do all the other stuff. Also some want to do it at a time that I’m not in the position to do so. If I did do so, I’d want to know whatever donation was sorted ahead. Pricing could be a tough one. I wouldn’t want to be getting off for $50, when an in person booking would be much more.

I’m in agreement. It seems if anything, there’s probably better luck on the apps than A4A. I wish the apps would let people advertise on them legit. Get verified, pay a fee and post. Not sure what’s holding ‘em back.

Good info. I had someone else try to arrange a session without a number or pics on A4A. I was open to do so considering he seemed to have a valid reason, but when he wanted to ask for a dick pic: I responded: “since you want to meet without a number or pics yourself, you’ll have to see once arrived” Sure enough, didn’t show up at 1 the next day. And didn’t show up the day of when he made like he could come at 3:30. Definitely no booking inquiries who won’t provide a phone number…

This is a good topic, I was going to ask the same thing! I know some guys sound very optimistic and practical about our prices: but unfortunately I think we’ll find out otherwise. I’m already debating dropping my rates a little, even though I just put them up the other month. Things are very slow, in a lot of markets. There is a place about 2.5 hours north of me that is usually always good: I went 2 times this past month, and got 0 clients. And there’s barely any competition except 2 or 3 providers. It sucked so much that I cancelled going to their Pride and catching Todrick Hall performing in the drag show. On the flip side: I think there’s more factors: I think the news relies too heavily on “struggling families” as the ones dealing with inflation, but never says much about single gay or coupled gays with no kids. Why not? Sometimes I feel things are over sensationalized. Even with gas prices: if a client lives a few miles from work, or doesn’t have a car: that’s a non factor. In addition, many clients make the money that can suppprt a family, and it’s just them. So even if things go up a couple bucks here and there, they still won’t be so out of pocket to afford $250/300. The cost of a kid is MUCH MORE than $300 every so often 😆 However, on a larger scale there’s other demons to contend with. As I’ve said before, the hookup apps. Let’s face it: there’s many clients out there who aren’t bad at all in the looks department. However, I understand the main reason is not wanting to deal with the riff raft of apps. I’m almost considering staying away from the apps for the pure fact that I don’t want to contribute to the industry’s demise. But, it’s almost not much choice because nightclubs in the Midwest outside of Chicago are lame, it’s hard to make hookups and friends unless you’re connected to a big social net (which is usually centered around drugs and foolishness). What I’m not going to do though, is be hooking up at random. I treat it as a social app and if I do like the person and see they’re putting effort into doing more than sex, then I will.

Catch 22: that’s already been happening though. For awhile. Look at Denver, look at Nashville, look at Phoenix and Dallas and other “medium” markets. All those places have doubled or tripled the amount of providers over the years, and especially since the re-openings/vaccines. Depends… Sex sells lol. That’s partly why I haven’t rented in a number of years. I just base myself with a couple of trusted ”sponsors” who lend me their space when I’m not traveling or staying at my family’s ranch. But just as I was starting to go house hunting again, it seems once again I’m going to have to hold off. But…if rents plan to go down in a deeper recession, that “might” be a good time to make a move. The concept of apartment renting in itself sucks. I put in over $35k over a course of a few years for a condo that I eventually had to leave. Then those same places sold from $65k in 2010 to $150k in 2021 and I’m pretty sure the LL cashed in. Some of the larger cities tend to be a bit overrated and run thru. Sure you get to be around more people/restaurants/nightlife, but that’s also more ads for clients to choose from and more spending money to be there. Even in Washington DC. It’s great and fun, but there’s also a steady stream of new/established providers for the same clientele.

Right… But just one thing: I would vouch it’s not an issue if a provider has a pre-written template though, right?

That’s the best way to go about it… I try to make my ad more informative versus just talking about myself like I’ve noticed in many ads. I can sell you the world, but basic things like advanced/same day notice, who can host, etc. are all things that need to be sorted. Much easier to discuss prior to the session…

As much as I agree, this is a fantasy too far gone at the moment lol. When you have shitty, bottom of the barrel, good for nothing, piece of crap disguised as a “place to meet other men” apps like Grindr; which actively ban/flag anyone even discussing escort services, and then have the same bottom-feeding leeches as members (it’s not allowed to mention escorting, but it’s allowed to say how you DON’T want one): how can anyone ever expect a world where more people can get by as escorts AND, do more than just get by? If anything: I think we have TOO MANY escorts right about now. Many cities in America can’t handle the volume that’s currently in progress. We can’t have more escorts, until it’s as acceptable as hiring an Uber/Lyft. It should be, because majority gay guys out here are just looking for NSA sex anyway. There should be a app service for that… Unfortunately, I feel if hypothetically there was a huge amount of escorts, prices would be driven down a lot. But whether it could produce revenue and success like marijuana dispensaries? I couldn’t tell you…

Are you suggesting that having escorting to make a living is, sad? I mean, I thought at the end of the day it’s everybody individual choice what they choose to want to escort for. I know this has been talked about before but, not everybody is in it part time. Some people may be okay juggling escorting with other jobs, but in a (lucrative) market, I think one can get by just fine. I think that’s why some American clients don’t take us seriously. You got everybody here just “part timing” it, not really invested. And people wonder why everybody is a flake. See it as a job, TREAT it…as one. All the fucking, “people on RM are just guys looking for extra money shit”, is very outdone. I’ve put the work in, I’ve paid for the ads/the pics/the accommodations. Now level up, and stop messing around (not you, referring to the overall scene).

Speaking of which: I don’t know how there’s so many providers who pop up in cities where people aren’t really paying for nothing. I see this is Denver, Kansas City, and Nashville. I feel like America in many cities is the same clients being recycled among a steady stream of escorts. In many larger cities, it’s hard to stand out because it’s often an “influx” of ads at random always coming thru. Like why? I can’t believe that anybody is making much money because, those same recycled clients often get blocked and blacklisted because they come off pushy, go ghost, cancel back to back, etc. And when you sit down and take the time to market: 3-4-5 more ads pop up. If you can get to a smaller market, it takes a bit of time to drum up the business and it seems like lately: 2 or 3 clients is about the most you will see in a 1-2 day visit. Which isn’t bad, but it’s because of that which I need to charge more. Like for Memorial Day weekend travel: I had 2 (serious) clients only. One was an overnight and the other an hour. Both regulars from previous trips. All the newbies flaked or I missed them for reasons beyond control. What do guys think is the least/most amount you can charge and have a steady stream of clients? Like…I sometimes desire to operate where I can just have 2-3 clients a day, in and out. But hypothetically it seems I’d have to charge $100 to make that happen. And I just can’t work at that price anymore (I used to years ago, here and there seldomly. It got me more clients, but didn’t really pay the bills/overheads because I wasn’t getting THAT many more clients). I recall way back in my earlier days, I serviced a couple of regulars for $60 and even $30!! Dollars. Non of it was full on, mainly just companionship/touching, but it’s so expensive to be an escort, clients can’t really understand. I can’t do anything with $100, except pay for a hotel (for the visit) and like 1/4 tank of gas. That’s why I can’t deal with Adam4Adam or even Grindr advertising because majority of those people in more saturated, big disparity in income cities (Denver, Kansas City, Nashville) only want to pay $75.

Bless the person contacting the escort, to actually read the ad as well. Because it doesn’t seem like everybody does. Seems like many just look at pictures, then scroll to number. Haven’t read a goddamn, MFing thing.

Not to mention: America still isn't fully decriminalized like many European countries are.

It’s also good to remember that the RM instant message Is still relatively new for many. Also, advertisers have the option to turn off instant message requests all together: And it’s been mentioned here by other providers that it’s not conducive to spend too much time responding to IMs. I think it all comes down to being flexible on boundaries and different ways of communication/working to a degree. Sometimes, there has to be a compromise to make things work. I think some clients expect us to do things the way they want it to be done, but in reality: It’s up to the person running their biz. RentMen instant messenger is simply an option for contact. In trying to figure out ways to hold my boundaries and still accommodate clients: I do use the IM feature, but I have an auto reply up that covers at least the stuff that isn’t on my profile (like rates). Even though you don’t seem phased about a provider not responding or having an auto reply up (and subsequently ignoring it), it implies an indifference towards those who may have boundaries that don’t involve communicating on the IM platform. Why would some not want to communicate on the platform? Because despite the convenience, it is similar to hookup app approach. Some people may be okay with that, but the RentMen instant messages aren’t consistent enough to carry that on. I can go from having 0 replies all day, maybe even days in a row. To having 5 replies in a day: All while you’re trying to drive in traffic and get to the next appointment. The sensible solution for some: put a informative auto reply. that way one can engage, without always being engaged.

Revival thread: I’m reaching a point where I feel I may be removing my ad from the platform. Looking back over this year, 6 months in: I can probably count the amount of clients I’ve gotten from it on 1 hand. That’s literally like 1 a month, which isn’t the worst considering it’s price: but nobody seems to be booking anything from there. Especially in the smaller markets. It used to be good for that. But majority now either they flake or they say the rate is too much. Then they don’t volunteer how much they can pay, so It’s just a battle trying to get them to agree to anything. Doesn’t seem like the ones there are trying to pay legit escort rates. They have a completely unrealistic approach. If I let go of A4A, that’ll only leave me on 2 platforms plus my website. That is just not encouraging. I think it’s time for me to transition off of it and check some other sites. I been checking out one called escortalligator.eu, but in my area it seems only Black dudes advertising in the “bi” section, which to me kind of raises a brow.

Here’s my take (from a real live provider) from having used Google voice for many years, and why I eventually stopped using it: When I would send clients template messages, I didn’t realize it was coming in portions, sometimes cut off from the rest of the sentence. A client pointed that out to me during an exchange. 2nd reason is: so many clients have iPhones now. Which I use. So, with my iPhone: I can see if a client has read my message, or that it was delivered. I can do Apple Pay, which clients have paid me on before as well. Also: I was noticing Google voice messages usually went thru on time, but when driving thru a remote or mountainous location, sometimes it wouldn’t or I was waiting until I reached signal to be able to get the message. If ever I’m not in an area of good signal: which can be anywhere from a barber shop to a hotel or my gym (idk why some buildings just have perpetually bad signal for no reason), I can plug into WiFi. I also found the Google voice platform difficult to manage, as I couldn’t see a clients picture, or include my picture with my avatar, which is my biz card. All of those things are why I switched to a regular number. Not to mention: having a burner number on the same phone as you’re private phone, is not enough to separate unrecognized calls. I know if one phone rings, it’s family, medical, or sales call. If the other rings, it’s someone seeing my ad. So yah, everybody reasons going to be different. As a provider, I would not recommend using a burner phone. For a client, it doesn’t matter because I ask for a deposit from all regardless if they include their pic and real phone number with address included. I admire how lightly you make that sound. But the reality is much more consuming. If it weren’t, then the discussion would be non existent. To send a text may only take 2 minutes, but when you go thru the process of setting aside time, booking a room, perhaps traveling to a city: you’ll see that 2 minutes adds up to HOURS. Hours that could be used to get things done. Yet was spent on someone who wasn’t really intending to go with the booking to begin with. Some people don’t mind having their time wasted. I sat side by side with one escort who would have calls and text round the clock. Sometimes not even telling them he’s for pay. The person would hang up, and he’d wait for the next. Didn’t bother him. I personally couldn’t. But again, everybody’s tolerance level is different. You’ve been around awhile, so you know. I feel like people were more serious back in 2008-2014 than they are now. However, I still had my share of just outlandishly flaky clients over the past 10 years to where, if having a bit of boundaries disinterests someone, that’s on them

The purpose of that post was moreso about not having the number accessible publicly, so that only clients who have read the ads/booked ahead can contact. Not necessarily a case where after exchanging email/IMs, the person wanted to meet without exchanging numbers. But I have figured out a balance to that: I will alternate keeping my number up when I'm local versus traveling. Each Which requires different levels of accessibility. I couldn't tell you when the last time I've met a client without a phone number. Actually: probably never. When you say you've met several masseurs without a phone number, I can imagine they probably approach the biz in a way that obscures whatever other lifestyle they may have going on. For me, it's usually just an indicator of how the person might be. Less likely to give a number has usually meant more likely to be a jerk. And I've had the experiences enough to know. Either they won't be there upon arrival, or won't show up. Or they will be there..but either send you away or show up, and walk away. In all cases for me, it's just been some freaky weirdo shit. Which is why I don't do it. I even almost met a (cute/freebie) guy in a "park" situation last week, just to be a bit adventurous. But the guy wouldn't give me his number. Something was feeling very off (like he couldn't just meet face to face beforehand and was trying to play a fantasy). He was almost to the destination, when I decided to bail and get out. It's not about just being able to text on any platform. It's about why does someone feel the need to communicate on a platform where it's easy to just press block, without a trace: versus having some sort of connected outlet to use. To me, that imply a person has something to hide or is a catfish...and I just won't do it.

I suppose that could all be supportive reasons, but I can’t think of any time recently I’ve met someone without a number: and actually had anything good come out of it. I even did it last month against my intuition, and regretted it. Then some like to say, “I only give out my number when we meet”. My thing is: if a person can’t make effort enough to give a number to someone they are intending to meet…not just “chatting with”, but actually intend to meet: it shows right off the bat they aren’t being trustworthy. One guy was like: “I’m on my way, what’s your room number?” after chatting a bit. So: that person can’t give me a phone number, but you want my room number. Tell me how does that work lol. It doesn’t I think what gets me the most: there’s a mentality of mistrust that seems to almost be expected, going around. Granted: this isn’t happening so much on Rentmen/RentMasseur because my credentials are extensive. But moreso on sites that don’t allow me to post my website or don’t have review option.

Idk what’s up with this bizarre trend lately: if you thought burner numbers were bad, there’s people out here who actually have the audacity to want to meet without a phone number. One (someone who’s probably unhinged) even claimed “if I was legit, I wouldn’t be asking for his number”. This seems especially rampant in smaller town/markets. But in larger cities it seems just as common. I get it that some want gay/transactional sex to be anonymous/discrete, but when meeting someone from online: this seems a really suspicious way to go about meeting. Anytime someone doesn’t want to give a number: 99% of time is up to no good. Even if it isn’t something sinister like murder: it could be as simple as someone who wants to do exactly like I said in another thread: doesn’t finish the sex, and wants to cut the session 2 minutes into it. The “buffet samplers” I call them. Or likely to stiff/short on the pay. Such horrid personalities. Whatever the case, it’s never a good sign and I wish dudes would stop acting so paranoid about exchanging numbers 🤦🏽‍♂️

Well actually: the way it works on our end, we can choose who can see our number. Either everyone, no one, or those who are “logged on”. So maybe you just came across the ones who require you to log on. I’m personally still debating the showing/not showing my number thing. Here’s the problem: I don’t like when clients email me on RentMasseur asking, “are you available now” because I may not notice it for a few hours. I had this going on in Milwaukee couple weeks ago. People would email, I’d not see it, they would reply but then hours go by. Or they don’t call when instructed, burning up time unnecessarily. But when I leave my number up: people on RentMasseur just text without having read any part of my ad. They see pictures and click call cluelessly. So I’ve been having to take my number on and off throughout the day when I am in a position to take it. However, I don’t like showing my number on RentMen because it’s usually just BSers contacting from there. Not to mention, 90% of the people who do have an account and message on there, don’t follow thru with booking or instructions. So I have the auto reply up, but Rentmasseur doesn’t have that feature. I even experimented that last week and it’s especially crucial when traveling: I took my email off RentMasseur and left my number up. Got a same day appointment just as I had arrived into a city. If that person had emailed, I might not of noticed it for awhile. I’m thinking the only solution is to just keep my auto template on my phone going.

This story makes absolutely no sense though… If anything, the victim is the person who should have been arrested for assault for running to grab a knife in the kitchen. That’s just bizarre. Like, was the guy even gay. Was this not discussed?

And that’s good, however you mention: WHEN they CAN share these things. If there’s no sharing, it’s not a whole lot to be done. And despite some of it being those things mentioned, others I can’t always tell what’s going on. Some I think: they get off on the hype of talking about the sex, but during the actual act: they don’t allow themselves to work up to the climax. They just want to jump in strong, but not go thru. That’s also why I start majority all my sessions with a massage. Seems anytime something starts with ***, it’s not likely to last long or be that great. Letting the client pick the course of things: I find is not reliable lol.

It was a client (and yeah, he wanted to bottom but wasn’t very experienced). It’s not so much I was getting “annoyed” in the sense of getting annoyed. It’s just the communication factor, or lack of. Also the back and forth as well. I don’t mind helping a new person get acquired into a situation. However, they have to just allow the situation to play out. If someone is being dismissive, that doesn’t leave room to do so. There have been times I been able to “get someone on track”, but it usually involved some level of communication on their end about what’s expected.