TallMuscl37

Sir by all due respect: there is no negativity or combative nature. I stated my points in this thread in a factual manner. My issue is, every time I discuss something that you find different than how YOU think or believe advertisers/sex workers should operate: you have to then make some flippant comment, or talk about how it’s whining and complaining; and that’s disrespectful. Because when you minimize someone’s experiences and discussions, and then try to poke fun: that makes you look no better. Instead of telling me what I need to do outside of the forum, why don’t you start speaking to me with some respect and credibility? Acknowledge my experiences and challenges, instead of just acting like I’m some starving artist who has no experience and knows about anything except whining and complaining? Let’s start there. Then if you actually have something positive to recommend to me, you would go out of your way, and meet or speak to me privately: not on a forum where you can earn clout.

I was simply quoting what you said. It’s fine if you decided to double-back and edit what you meant, but regardless of how you sweet n low or Splenda it up: You can’t get miffed because I agreed with what YOU said 🤷🏾‍♂️ Yes the numbers will show that the average and majority on RM are flakes and regardless of which side it is, browser or advertiser: we both have to do things to protect their time. However, it’s never going to carry the same weight. I’m not really here to say how clients should do that. I’m just making suggestion as it pertains to this topic of deposits.

And, what are you going to do about it? Don’t like it, stop reading it ✌you have so much to say, yet so little alternative to offer. You’re part of the pack mentality I refer. Big part.

Dude, stop ✋🏾 You’re always talking about somebody whining, complaining and moaning. YOU are the one doing it the most! All I said is, if someone is LOOKING on a site where those who are there are paying $100 to advertise: there shouldn’t be a surprise if there are some who choose to ask for a monetary confirmation. I don’t know where you get $100 for a ad being a reason to take deposits. I was referring to the costs of doing other things, such as upfront hotel and/or travel or even just local outcalls where the possibility of getting stood up is present.

BINGO 🎰 You said it 👏🏽 the “average” RM browser is potentially a flake. That’s the #1 reason for the deposits to begin with. The answer answered itself lol. And trust me, I will: I’ve learned too many times not to. If someone thinks we should cover the burden of expenses, they can send me their cash app or other app so I can request money when I need to pay $100 for a hotel plus put down $100 extra for “incidentals” for a client who hasn’t paid a deposit. That’ll have some putting money where their mouth is lol.

That’s because some here tend to have a pack mentality. Deposits are not terribly received by the average person on RentMen. There is also no average client on RM either. And, if someone isn’t willing to send a deposit, they need to not be surfing 🏄🏾‍♂️ websites where guys have to pay upwards of $100 or more a month to list on, and sell services. It’s not a hookup app. If someone is going to pay, they’re going to pay. If they’re BSing they’re going to BS. With or without. Deposits are a very small fraction of the bigger picture.

Ha ha ha. That’s so funny. Not 👎🏾 The other solution is, just blame the flaky escort and sit and let it happen again next time…. And allow others to continue to convey that RELIABLE escorts have to suffer the sins of those who have no business relation with us. Of course it’s easier for some people to naysay the escort, versus thinking critically to see the situation as it is. If I were an escort and it was a client in the situation: I would have always reached out to the regular FIRST anyway. Any time I go to a city, as often as I travel, I’m always touching base with the favorite or the most reliable. I’d still take new bookings but, it’s not like I’m going to turn down someone I know is reliable, in favor of a wild card 🃏 who might not show or follow thru at all. I’m always going to have a contingency plan. The person you clapped your hands to, took things out of context by throwing in a completely different dynamic that had nothing to do with what I was suggesting. #1 Many of the flakes and cancellations I discuss, tend to be those who initiate. It’s not like I’m hitting them up. Therefore, they have a bigger duty to keep their word. And #2: why would someone even say that when this whole topic is referencing an epidemic of Timewasters? Geez, the attitude here, so Grinchy this time of year. Reminds me of the word “Dallitude”. But I can do quotes too:

And I’ll just add one more thing: requesting a booking at noon for a traveling provider is bad juju off the bat. I can almost imagine, this provider decided he didn’t want to pay his hotel for an extra day to accommodate the 1 noon client, if he had more bookings elsewhere. Or had a bunch of flakes. He may have gone to the next city for another opportunities, versus the one that was scheduled. It’s shitty yes, but it’s the possibilities that can occur. I never accept a noon client when hosting unless he can provide a deposit, which I then can use to either pay for late checkout, or reserve an extra night all together if I feel the desire to use the room for an extra day also. I often tell people and say in my ads: after 11 am to about 2:30 pm is a no zone for me if I’m in a hotel. Unless I’m booking it for more than 1 night, it’s usually too early to check in or too close to checkout time to host. I always suggest people meet before 10:30/11 or after 2:30/3 p.m. Hotels have gotten awful at giving late checkout. Minneapolis hotels charge if you’re a minute late after noon. Ever since Covid, many in the big cities are banging on doors rushing people out BEFORE checkout time.

Listen, ma’am or dude. If you choose to interpret it that way: without reading between lines of what the message was saying, that’s YOUR burden to carry. I’m simply offering an alternative solution. Clearly it didn’t work out to well in his end, because he got flaked on and then couldn’t get in touch with the favorite guy. So stop with the bullshit, okay. Don’t try to dredge up comments that detract from the message. I wasn’t even talking to you anyway, so…why are you here arguing with me? I was offering a reasonable solution, when I really shouldn’t have done that considering he’s come at me sideways in the past. But I’m just giving suggestions on how to save face without losing opportunity. And don’t come in here lying and saying I’ve dropped people in my personal life for someone else. You’re crossing the line, and that’s going to lose credibility real quick. I never said anything like that. I simply said I have occasionally BEEN FACED WITH having to choose between plans with a new person and plans with someone trusted. This includes but not limited to: friends who may want me to hangout versus a client who hits me up at the last minute. There’s a way to preserve both plans without leaving someone hanging. It’s called having a Plan B. He didn’t have a Plan B because he told the regular guy, “I’m not available, sorry”. When he should have said, “I may be available, but can I let you know by like 11 a.m. tomorrow if I’m free?” That way soon as the flake didn’t respond, he could have had a time deadline to get in touch with his regular guy by. Now he’s scrambling like an egg to find a new guy, at the last minute…who’s probably also going to flake on him. And then he’s going to come on here and say HE should get a deposit. For what? What money on ads and hotel did he spend?

Any cutting into bookings, would likely be cut into anyway when the client flakes the day of. Occasionally I’ll come across potential clients from other platforms that aren’t dedicated advertising sites. I may offer to meet them without deposits to help facilitate the meeting. Most still end up having something “come up”, as shown below: I was not even surprised, because we were initially supposed to been meeting last night. But it’s like, why you texting me at goddamn 8 a.m.? Annoying. I actually checked his message before 9 but: that’s what I have to start my day with, bad news? Guys lately are just flaky across the board. This is why I advise myself and others grappling with reliability in the cities: explore the outer regions away from big cities or areas that don’t have as much accessible avenues to hooking up. Many of these larger/high COL cities are full of indecisive guys who are self important and playing the field. And not just talking San Francisco/Washington D.C. but even places like Denver, Phoenix, Nashville, etc just have flakes up the ass because so many ads. And referring back to the post about the masseur who flaked: again I don’t condone that and those types tend to be part of the problem. Deposit or no deposit; flaking on bookings on either side hurts the business. However, I don’t think providers should have to carry the burden of someone else who doesn’t keep their word. And I’ve said before: situations like @Ali Gator claimed, did not lose money from the other guy not showing up. On the other hand, advertisers have to risk losing a booking + hotel/travel expenses -+ potential clients. 3 TIMES the monetary loss a client may face. The comparison just isn’t the same.

I didn’t misread the situation. I read exactly the situation he described. The reason why I worded it as I did, is because the ending of the post turned the deposit around to say he should be paid one. That’s when I was like, okay if you say it like that: let’s look at the big picture. I’m not condoning the provider who flaked at all. I’m just saying, IF he knows his FAVORITE REGULAR provider reach out to him (and I don’t know the exact timing of it all, whether minutes or hours): he could have simply prioritized the regular and offered/suggested a cancellation courtesy. I’ve had clients do that before for other reasons. I would not be mad with that. OR even better: Told the regular “I would love to see you while you’re in town, but I may have some obligations that affect whether I can.” And then offer HIS REGULAR the cancellation fee IF the other guy came thru as planned. I know it sounds a bit more tactful than the average client thinks about but, it’s a way to preserve options while still maintaining integrity. And when you’re playing the field reaching out to multiple guys, that’s part of something to practice. Even in regular hookups, and clients: I have to practice that same strategy myself sometimes. I’m not leaving anyone on the hook, but I’m also not just telling them no outright, because shit may change. Especially when dealing with flaky internet or app guys.

This is understandable, and I can see the benefits. But the time I had did a part time job in addition to this, I ended up leaving after a couple months I think. I was missing bookings, while expecting to meet the company deadlines. They also scheduled me from 3 to 9 pm, which is Prime time for when clients want bookings. A good paying job probably can be more secure, however there’s some gigs out there that can clash. I also know friends with regular and remote jobs, but instead of escorting: they’re just out fucking for free. Their 1 or 2 jobs is enough, than to add on the extra workload of trying to create a brand, be available short notice, being able to host last minute, having a clean apartment all the time, etc. So a regular payroll job is an option, but I don’t think it’s a solution to some client’s unreliable and sketchy behavior. There has to be more strategies to resolve that, than having a regular job. I would hate to have a regular job, AND deal with a bunch of timewasters after work.

Sir, by all due respect: based on the story you’ve described: You wasted your own damn time. You’re going around reaching out to strangers at the last minute (even if it’s the next day, it’s still last minute for some), but you could have first reached out to your reliable favorite instead. Or you could have accepted the booking when your regular contacted you, and offered the other a small cancellation fee as a courtesy. Why would you trade a reliable person for something speculative? When you try to play the field and be slick, it can bite ya in the ass. Too many clients are probably doing the same. You’re definitely not entitled to a deposit though. Since you like to compare our industry to other industries: what freelance or small business you know, is paying deposits TO clients? Name one. And while you’re at it, name another business that is sending out paid product in the mail or via NEXT DAY DELIVERY without any form of payment to confirm beforehand? If you can do that: I will give you $100 🤣 Some people think they know everything, and want to stipulate how the business should compare and operate to others. In reality, it’s rather simple, as I explained in the post above yours. Some of these clients are busy playing games, and aren’t being honest with others. And even with deposits like I do, I still have to occasionally put sense to them. Some will give one, and not keep their word. Expecting the deposit to either cover the loss of funds, or be sufficient towards a session weeks later (it’s not). Had someone text me this earlier this week. This guy is notorious for not keeping his appointments, even after confirming. Usually citing something with work/mood/timing/made other plans etc. I finally told him I can’t be bothered (I even blocked him earlier this year, and he came back around AGAIN. Gave him a chance, does the same stuff AGAIN. Now he’s blocked AGAIN lol). This is not the energy I want during holidays, but some of these guys find arguing with sex workers entertaining I guess. Thats why in addition to deposits, I’ve had to add consultation fees because, texting some of them is too much work complimentary.

Based on the many things in news and politics going on right now: My response to that is people need to stop being so eager to meet with these guys claiming to be from other countries, specifically from places like South America or Cuba. People overlook the local American guys, want to ignore Black escorts who used to be able to do better in many cities: in favor of these South American fly by nights promising the world, and then wonder why they get scammed: Are international thieves exploiting tourist visas to target pro-athletes' homes? WWW.NBCNEWS.COM NBA and NFL players have been recently targeted by brazen burglars who might be in the United States on... The NBA memo, citing FBI intelligence, specifically linked the crimes to “transnational South American Theft Groups” that target “professional athletes and other high-net-worth individuals.” And telling providers to not accept deposits IS NOT the solution. In the cases you presented, I have to wonder what real background you seen in the Ad, to verify it was a legit provider. Someone saying they’re willing to “do anything” is fraudulent from the start. No boundaries/rules=easy bait.

Idk, but I bet if it was man: they’d definitely be feeling different back there and wonder at the very least: if the partner was up to something. Whatever the case, it was just really shitty. And to have the other guys get convicted too: that is just beyond grimy.

And granted, I’ve taken bookings like that (with M4M couples) but generally try to chat to ensure they’re “all there”. There are some who just want to watch from a distance. But not trying to walk into some secret situation blindly. There’s another article on Reuters that details even further: The youngest suspect was just 22 when he entered Gisele Pelicot's bedroom, while the oldest was in his early 70s. The defendants come from all walks of life - lorry drivers, soldiers, firefighters, security guards, farm workers, a supermarket worker, a journalist and the unemployed. Dominique Pelicot had worked as an electrician and estate agent. https://apple.news/AuG6yKRRSSY6Jgam4b_D_xw I can’t imagine only he was inviting these guys, I almost bet he had to have been pretending he was her. And based on their occupations, I’d have to wonder if any got paid for any of it. Just because there’s not a whole lot of people I would hope, just readily taking up offers to be with someone’s wife.

I was reading about this a couple times and just seen the latest today. This is part of why I’ve always been reluctant to accept bookings that start with, “I want you to be a surprise for my wife/husband/neighbor etc.” right along with, “come in the room and find me face down, and rape me even if I say no, it’s a fantasy”. As the story details, the ones who were engaging also were convicted in the case. Which sucks but: this is why it’s always important to talk to both parties before engaging in a couples/3way event. Make sure both are coherent and consensual.

Tampa is my hometown and former stomping grounds (though I always had a a greater preference for Miami, Fort Lauderdale and Orlando). I admire you being willing to move to a city without any prior visiting. Back in the 90s and early 2000s, Tampa was very racist and homophobic. Since then they’ve cleaned up a bit but…there’s still pockets of intolerance. And I would ONLY go there as a single male because, the schools there were rough. My parents moved us to the suburbs halfway thru middle school. That said: Idk a whole lot about Tampa scene since it’s changed a lot over the years with gentrification. However last time I was there 2020 and 2022, some areas have still remained the same. The area you working at, you may want to consider also Brandon area. It’s only 10 miles approximate from the Ybor area, and it’s also tends to be newer homes. There’s some gay activity but mostly online. However I used to have friends there I met all the time. There’s also New/North Tampa which is growing and newer homes but: even if you find what you like, 275 traffic can be a B-itch. 75 not too bad but, 75 is one of those “thru ways” that can have traffic from travelers going to Sarasota/SW Florida from Canada and every other state in the country. All my classmates were from Massachusetts, NY, Michigan, Ohio, Illinois, Kentucky, Connecticut, etc etc lol. I wouldn’t recommend St. Pete/Clearwater unless you don’t mind the drive, however if only have to go into the office a couple days a week: that area is actually more gay friendly than Tampa. Also keep in mind: westshore area is nice but it’s a flood prone area. With the increasing hurricane intensity, as I’ve said in previous threads: you may want to consider area away from water and not under large oak trees. Unfortunately Tampa is notorious for large oak trees, but a newer home you may not have that issue. Here’s a little helper map pointing out the areas I suggested:

Sir, by all respect: there was no petulant name calling. I simply stated that his stance was bitchy. And it was. This post is not asking, “what medications should I get on”. It’s talking about rates. To circumvent that and turn the focus towards me in a condescending way: is bitchy. There’s no question about it. He wasn’t well intentioned, at all. He was just trying to shut me up, and further use pharmaceutical background to give it more clout. I just don’t understand why you feel the need to keep throwing me under the bus around these people here? I thought we had an understanding and camaraderie. You don’t have to put me down, to make yourself look better. Stop band wagon jumping with these people around here, and see the discussion for what it is. If a friend really had my best interest in mind, they wouldn’t be coming here trying to double up on criticism…like you’re doing. You’re giving contradictory stances: one minute you’re understanding where I’m coming from, next minute you’re siding with the forum down players. You can’t flip flop, and then expect things to be all good with that person.

It’s showing me more and more, people around here can’t handle discussions. I’m actually going to leave here after this year. I can handle disagreements, but I can’t handle people who want to stoop so low and judge people’s character or in this case: cross examine someone’s mental capacity. We’re in a time of crisis right now. I don’t want to get political or in detail, but the evidence is all around. People don’t know how to talk to each other or hash out their disagreements, without firing shots. It’s amazing some people get bent out of shape, when the discussion isn’t even singling them out.

What’s funny is, I have in this ad: please text me the following details direct at the number shown on my card. Name: Host or Travel: City You’re In: Time desired: Which goes to my regular message number. What do they do? Read nothing. And instead text me at this number. It’s a filter that tells me: “They didn’t read anything in my ad. They’re just attention farming 🐄 🌽 .” In continuation: This is exactly why my RentMen and RentMasseur ads do not have phone numbers publicly visible. This particular website these numbers are coming from, there isn’t the option to not have a phone number. Many inquiries don’t follow directions. They don’t introduce. I appreciate the ones who do but, idk what’s up with these lately.

And it’s so funny that people rather resort to making me out to blame, but then when I give real world evidence of the type of stuff that MAKES me feel a certain way to want to discuss it…where’s the suggestion to those clients to get on mood medication? Why can’t clients here just encourage others to man up and just do better? Why does it always have to turn against the escort? I have a screen shot of a separate line I use for a website: it’s so proliferate with nonsense that, I can’t even give my 2nd AD phone number out. I have to use a 3rd number, which I only check sparingly. This is the type of stuff I get: Yes, people not speaking in complete sentences means I need to see a therapist? By all means, sign me up 🤣

Jesus Christ. I don’t normally say that in vain but…whew. I can’t. You are taking things above and beyond the level of seriousness required. First of all, I’m not afraid to admit I’ve been to therapy/counseling. It worked, but it didn’t necessarily change the dynamics of how life as a single, gay, Black man who does sex work in America….works. Sorry. I simply was able to understand things more. And my counselor happened to be a married, gay Black man himself. I got a whole lot of anger in your post. To petition the moderators to ban me for 60 days, are you on medication yourself? Because that’s pretty harsh. I could see if you wrote me privately but to say it in front of everyone? That’s bitchy. You have some audacity trying to suggest prescribing medications, without even knowing my health history or doing any in person evaluation on me. How about you include the side effects of taking such medications, before you use that as a way to shut me down without actually addressing a single issue in this thread. Goodbye. GTFO 👋🏾

Well don’t forget: you’re overseas in a legalized area. So you have to #1: acknowledge that. Firstly. I thank you for your advice, but as you’ve said: it’s more specific to how you operate and do things. Unfortunately, the business doesn’t just exist with you. Between you and some other guys on this thread: there is a tendency to say what works for you, but then ignore others specific circumstances. I’m not morphing anything, the variables have already been established by default. I even said it to what’s his name, the troll from earlier: city by city and state by state, there are demographics in place that can’t easily be mitigated. But I’m trying to do the best to my ability. And funnily enough, I’m still getting 150 offers. Instead of getting upset, I’m assessing whether it’ll be worth it…or if I could customize a session that may work for them, without losing my value and worth. But, the 800 session I had the other day, whew…that was NICE. I’m hoping 2025 is a year of greater prosperity 🎺

Well that’s your alternative to someone else, but it’s not a solution to someone actively in the business. We’re talking about within a business. If I wanted to talk about other job possibilities, I’d be on a whole other website. But what about helping that person in ways that could help the industry as a whole? Instead of it being all about you and what you do or don’t have to do: I said it earlier, I suggested RentMen and Masseur allow us a more customizable approach when clients click our number. They’ve done the right thing by providing a message, but it’s the same old message every escort has on their profile. How about coming together and coming up with solutions for better change on the websites and other avenues. But if you’re too busy playing devil's advocate, you’re not going to see how things could be improved.