TallMuscl37

This And this… And this… I used to be hesitant of doing off clock time in my younger days. But now I have more than a few who I actually spend time with, as friends even. If and when the fun part comes off, then we go ahead and settle up. I spent my birthday night with a couple of client “buddies” and even 1 of his friends. My thing: It can be hard connecting with friends in the “community” when you live a transient, even alternative lifestyle. Clients seem to be more open and understanding to that. I am so tired and fatigued of the gay scene, especially in non-transient Midwest towns. It’s almost impenetrable to get into any circle and even when you meet some cool people: they are cool for a night or 2, and then just go back to their usual clique and routine. Ghosting, not returning messages. Think you found a good friend, and turns out to just be another scene queen. However, on a realistic level it’s important to recognize that “majority” of clients out there are doing so because a need to be discreet or because I’ve sometimes found some to be too “sex focused” to where it can make the interaction a bit too 1 track purposed. I appreciate and acknowledge the attraction and flirting, but if it becomes to where “off the clock” time requires some form of sex, thats where things can get a bit weird. Overall, many of my clients I can consider as my friend. It’s a bit harder to do that with straight married guys, but there is some gay partnered guys I’ve found to be pretty cool with connecting for off clock fun. But like someone said, there’s no guarantees and be sure to voice any concerns so that nobody feels played in the end.

Closest thing I know of is Mr. # You don’t really get to “talk”, but more just post.

I make sure to get all this info out the way within the first text, FYI. Very first thing: are you looking to host or travel? You can’t get 2 gay men having sex without being able to host or travel. Nobody going to parks like that these days, so I am well aware it’s a #1 question. My hosting location may vary AND it is not shared until the basic screening is taken care of. However, I will occasionally post whichever town/neighborhood on RentMen is the one I’m in, which RentMen has made easier. That way it still shows in the main metro area.

You assume RentMen would have that information, but having my own website: RentMen is not a “payment processor”. It’s likely a 3rd party processor that handles that info. You’ve taken what I said far too literal, I was merely talking about the concept, not the actual billing process.

I’m happy you’re able to understand. However, anonymous is for bathhouses and forensic files/murdered mystery shows. I’m not trying to go that route, so I respectfully ask all clients for name, age and pic (which I say is optional OR). The last time I tried to meet someone somewhat anonymously (last week from A4A, going just by his number and screenname) from a website, he showed up and counted $26 in front of me (fortunately I asked for the fee upfront before anything started). When he offered to go to the ATM to get more, he never came back. Exactly why, I need to ask for deposits, name and basic details. It weeds out the bozos who are likely to try something devious or sneaky. They usually go silent and say nothing. At the end of the day, I realize the only fault I accept is keep allowing myself to engage with deadwoods. I’m not doing it anymore. I’m giving ONE CHANCE to follow directions, if they can’t be bothered: I can’t be bothered to exchange more than 1 message with them. This is why there needs to be an “Uber/Lyft” for providers. My own website is the closest I been able to get, but it would be great if RentMen made this happen. Nobody sits around and has long text chats with Uber drivers before they receive payment. Pay first, then you get all the details about car/driver/time of arrival etc etc.

Matter of fact: I will go ahead and do exactly that. Let me post some texts. Because apparently, I’m the one with the attitude. So let’s just see (I’m the person either in blue or green on all messages). ⬆️ This person didn’t return the reply despite him sounding like he’d be serious after I answered a few questions earlier. Like really? You tell me this now: and he says out of price range, but I’d be spending at least $150 myself to accommodate the session because it’s 2 hours away and he wants me to host. Obviously is clueless. ⬆️ Contact me over an hour later only to tell me, “thanks for trying?” He contacted me for a session and I asked for what I needed to accommodate. Why bother getting in touch if you not willing to confirm or be prepared to do what’s necessary? Interrupting my morning with no intent. Goodbye 🚮 ⬆️ It’s a Saturday night at 12:30 a.m. Who said I’m even working? And then when I reply back later that afternoon, no response. ⬆️ Would require driving an hour to his hotel, in the middle of Illinois, which I didn’t have the info for. Why would I do that without a deposit? And he has a couple of bad reports too, which is why I was even more pressed to ask for a deposit. ⬆️ Just more back and forth stuff. Didn’t end up meeting because he didn’t confirm and follow up as directed. Wasted his and my time bullshitting.

You’re making an assumption based on what someone else “thinks” they know. And they’re only getting that based on how I’m describing it here. My attitude when talking about certain patterns in the initial stages of booking, doesn’t mean I have an attitude with clients in person or over phone. Neither of you seem be able to decipher the difference. Don’t assume. All my reviews on RentMen and RentMasseur prove the type of person I actually am. It’s when people refuse to apply consideration and respect, is where the connection deteriorates. The only time I do have “an attitude” is when a potential client doesn’t read my ad, or says or does things that make arranging the appointment inefficient or difficult for me. If I’m asking someone details or to confirm a session, and they don’t respond, blow me off for hours/days: and then later call me trying to push me around to meet without having any notice, and assuming I can see them right away: Do you expect me not to feel any different? I mean, if you really want to go there: I will post tidbits of text messages where I have been polite and without an attitude, and you can see where they said something that wasn’t reciprocal. You give respect, you get respect. It’s not just give, give, give with nothing in return.

In my experience, usually not. Back when I was younger and had more patience with craigslist: I used to be okay dealing with people like that, with the exception that at least I was getting a steady stream of clients. But even if they do come around eventually: it's usually just 1 time, and then they fall right back into that flaky cycle. One client found out the hard way last year. I used to just tolerate it, but I told him off and turned down his lousy "discount". They go 5, even 10 YEARS without seeing you, and want to bring up "that's more than what I used to see you for". You think?

I hope so… Sometimes the by-product of “health scares” is people may be cautious. But instead of going about things sensibly, they ask for appointments which they know they have no real intent on keeping. Or they are very lazy about it: don’t want to follow instructions, directions, or requests. Or too stingy to want to come out of pocket. Expect the world on a platter (a hot, horny escort with a big dick who can host them TODAY and give them a massage), but gives a hard time doing what the provider asks. But this is great because it just means I need to stick with what I was doing all along, and not stray from it. Auto-replies and deposits. Rinse and repeat. It gets boring but, better than wasting time and hope on imbeciles who half ass go thru with things, which frustrates me and then I have to talk about it here 😆 .

I’m actually relieved you said that, so we can get it out of the way. I was “waiting” for a nasty reply to come out the woodwork. And congrats, you’re the first. Thank you. Because that simply deciphers those who really understand versus those like you (pigheaded) who instead of looking at solutions, rather ignore the facts and simply blame the provider. And FYI, low booking rate? What is YOUR booking rate? How many clients did you get this year and how much you made? Tell me that…and we can talk about my low booking rate.

In that case, no. I don’t think that would have been reasonable. Unless you didn’t mention you’d be driving 2 hours. But overall no.

i think the biggest issue is the money. As I mentioned, some of these guys are flaking because they don’t have an idea how much an escort/Nude masseur charges. They probably know a guy at a gym or spa who charged them $70/80 and then expects the same from someone who’s paying to be on a site and traveling to cities full time. I’m going to have to write to RentMen next because they’re not doing enough to educated clients as it is. For me to have to make my own website and pay an additional amount each month, to educate clients proves right there that some of it lies on the fault of the advertising platform. Then again, some of it probably just the quality of these guys. They’re probably already coming from a low quality state of mind. The fact that most can’t host, goes to show they’re in the position to only be able to have sex if they can go to another man’s place versus their own. Then, they don’t even have the decency to give any sort of notice, which goes to show additionally they have 0 respect for the other persons space or schedule. Which likely proves they go a long time before actually getting any. Because how many people out here can really host on super short notice? Not many I know. Even people with their own place aren’t keen on having unexpected company round the clock. That’s why no more same day hosting appointments will be allowed in my home base cities.

Because these type of things tend to come and go. Couple weeks ago I was counting over $1,000 over a course of a couple or so days. It’s not a constant state of struggle. It’s periodic times dealing in markets that are lacking the sustainability needed. And since I can’t just pick up and move across the country at ease with everything going on that could spell “lockdown” “monkey pox pandemic” or “recession”, I am limited in my options of immediate solutions. In the meantime, the business is still paying my bills, and other miscellaneous spending. It's also an enjoyable replacement to my sex life, because I can't stand being on "hookup apps" trolling for endless sex and "dates" for free with people who I stand little chance of making a relationship, let alone a friend. So I do enjoy the intimacy part of the biz, but it's the muck involved with setting things up that has gotten a bit more difficult. That’s not necessarily a problem with me or the business, it’s moreso having to deal with particular people like that. That’s why I say pigheaded men, not pigheaded escort business. It’s like if I worked in a store: I may do fine any other time and day, but if it’s “just” the Monday window shopper crowd that makes it miserable, that doesn’t mean I need to get out of that particular business. It’s just that time of week and day that I find is a struggle to work in the store. I also mentioned somewhere in another thread the reasons why. As many people are who “work”, even other industries, it’s not always easy to just say “I’ll quit” when you have to handle things week to week. It’s not a matter of whether I should leave or continue, it’s a more so a factor of making sure there’s respect and understanding going on.

Well couldn’t you have asked for the hotel information instead of canceling? That’s probably would have been a bit more courteous. However, I can understand the hesitation. It’s like one client the other week who wouldn’t send a deposit nor the address of the hotel. And this was a same day booking. I reported him, but he also has 2 other warnings from other escorts claiming he sent them on a wasted drive:

I feel some of it can be controlled. I just wrote a stern email to one site (not rentmen) about how I feel it’s very unfair and pointless to advertise on the site and not be able to post our rates. Some of these clients are not following thru because they have no idea how much we are charging. One “client” (who is now blacklisted on the “number”) had the nerve to tell me my rate was too expensive. Yet he expected me to drive 2 hours to a city that I advertise “nearby travel” in (and not for a lousy $100) get a hotel to host (because he wasn’t). The nerve, to call me expensive? Really. These people have no clue or idea what kind of service they are contacting and asking for, and don’t even have regard for the amount of work and money on our part, that is required to do it. It is highly frustrating. Those people have to be dealt with accordingly, but as someone said: one teaches the other. When people call at the last minute, no sort of notice: can you even expect to get clean sheets? Should a person want to cum for a client who called 30 minutes ago, same day notice…or should they cum for the client who booked more in advance for the longer session? There’s a saying: you get what you ask for. Lot of these clients ask for shit on a stick, so they get shit on a stick. You call me late: I’m going to show up late. You don’t want to give me time to get prepared, then I won’t be prepared. If the client shows up unprepared, in areas where they “should” be prepared: I’m not going to stay longer than necessary.

I wouldn’t go for that myself. That is why I have started consultation fees for new clients, to avoid things like this. It’s always when I back off and don’t follow my own protocols, that one thing leads to the next. I’m supposed to not even be allowing contact at all with these people, until they have sent me money to discuss. Because I can’t trust them to do things EVER without receiving money upfront. You can’t. I have trusted them over and over and over. All it happens is, you get a booking request for a session from such clients, THAT NEVER HAPPENS. I try to be nice and work with people and not be so tough, but it never works. Now I have to go right back to the usual routine.

Yeah, it’s me again. I know it’s getting old. But, I just don’t know what more do I need to say or do, to get people to do things sensibly. What kind of era are we living in right now? I don’t understand any of these clients these days. Its the same thing I’ve rehearsed 150,00,000 times. People don’t book in advance, they don’t give me any sort of notice that a session is going to be taking place. I can literally sit around all day and all night with no appointments planned, and the minute I decide to do something like: EAT, or see a friend, someone wants to reach out to me to meet. Then we I try to plan it for any further than NOW, it’s always, “oh I can’t. I leave tomorrow.” Or some other lame overused response. Well then you should of not waited until the last minute. Do these people think we live to squeeze in their bad planning 🤷🏾‍♂️ I am so angry right now that I have only had 1 client last week: yet several texts up and down on my phone, and all the rest didn’t follow thru. It’s very irritating and annoying. Now I have to argue and run people down for payment because I have proof on several messages, clients NAMING times for a booking, and then falling through on it (similar to how Elon Musk fell thru on Twitter..and notice how they aren’t backing down). It’s like every week I have to add another and another note to my profile: this week is, I AM NOT HOSTING SAME DAY APPOINTMENTS. People has no consideration or respect for my time or place if they think they can just call out the blue, and ask to come over when just moments ago, I didn’t even know they existed. Or, the clients who do contact once…vanish, and then come around again months later like it never happened. Then suddenly out the blue with extreme eager to meet right?? Like this one guy I told him off: Do they seriously think I’m not going to notice their text from last year showing where they explicitly ignored a detailed message about specific details/questions? Like what the fuck? Where are clients learning this behavior from? I want to know that, today. Who? Who the fuck is teaching them that you set up stuff with professionals like this? Is this Midwest ignorance or is this all of America? I’m just so ready to leave my region and just go to a completely different state already. I’ve never dealt with so many stupid fucking people in such a span of time. I’ve noticed some areas seem a bit better than others, but I notice this across the board in many areas. Even some of the travelers do the same thing. They come to town, no plans or previous outreach and just expect me to be available. I digress…it’s really sad. Then they don’t read ads so despite all the work I put in there, it don’t matter. Maybe I’m going to change my working name to: BESUREYOUHAVEREADMYADBEFOREYOUCONTACTMESOIDONTHAVETOSPENDTIMEONEXPLAININGEXACTLYWHATIEXPECTFROMYOU. Then I can advertise that I’m Russian or Ukrainian, that’s why my name is so long 🤦🏽‍♂️ Then when I talk to my outside friends about it, they’re no support. All they do is bad mouth the business (ironic huh, but no that’s not what I’m doing. I’m bad mouthing the lack of common sense, not the business) and give me no alternative except the usual. Yet, when it comes time for me to spend my money with them, they don’t stop and think about how I made it in the first place 🤔

Do the math and all your answers will be revealed. How many times does a client contact escorts per week? Per month? Per year? Now, how many times does an escort get contacted by clients per week? Per month? Per year? Right now, I’m going thru my phone sending cancellation fee requests (requested sessions for specific times and didn’t bother to follow thru or follow my booking instructions, thus wasting my time and not paying accordingly) who contacted me in the past few days, and it hasn’t even been a week. So far, about 5. That should explain it all. So don’t it’s irrelevant to talk about how other providers don’t show up. When in fact we’re dealing with timewasters on practically a daily basis.

I was talking to someone today who said, “I almost hired an escort, but then I changed my mind because I thought he could be a cop”. I understand it, but it goes to show how shitty and backwards America is. Things here are still being criminalized, that aren’t in other countries. It’s similar to how Americans are feeling the unfair prosecution of the Olympian girl in Russia is. Yes it’s horrid. But for years, America has and still does horrid things to its citizens as well. I know that’s a leap of a comparison but, one thing affects the rest. Maybe deposits wouldn’t be necessary…but not taking them doesn’t make things any easier

Okay, fair enough. However, I think whenever you bring that up, you have to add “but I’m in London where it’s less conservative and not under the same stigmatic laws as the U.S.” Once you say that, then it’s right away a different dynamic. I wouldn’t have numbers to give, but I’d say atleast 1 or 2 inquiries every week that don’t follow thru. The number was higher before I started doing deposits. It may not always be a flat out no show but, especially when you add Covid and monkey pox to the mix, it really requires having something more dependable. Also I have to travel for majority of my bookings, because my area is mostly devoid of clients. I’m not going to drive 1-4 hours away, and get a hotel without a deposit. I used to be able to do that, but so many are full of shit nowadays, I had to adapt the best I could.

We’ve long graduated from being called “boys” thank goodness 😅

This has been discussed before: Clients will pay deposits, but a person just has to have a good rapport built up, or some sort of existence outside of the usual sites. Before I had my own website, I was passing out business cards and had it as my iMessage avatar. I mainly only see clients with deposits. I know some people don’t want or like to but, the times I didn’t I regretted it. I’ve even had previously flaked clients send a deposit once they realize I’m not with the BS. Every so often I have to reschedule, but I always use it towards the following meet unless an extended amount of time goes by. Some may be fine by no deposits, but understand some escorts really won’t work without one. There’s plenty who do.

I can say, the one client I did have in Branson happened to be a smoking hot “daddy” 👨🏼 (but only a couple years older than me). He was out boating earlier in the day at the “lake” so we met up in the evening. But other than that, that’s a pretty accurate description. I went out to breakfast the next day, and was like the only non-white person, and almost the only one period until a couple walked in. If you think that’s bad though, it gets worse lol. Once you get outside of Kansas City and St. Louis (which is fun in comparison but despite being less conservative, more like ultra cliquey or not really open to newcomers) The whole of Missouri is just as you described. White. Or Yokel. Or both lol. I think the potential is there, but it’s so conservative and family oriented. Other than that, I wonder why RentMen/masseur is almost nonexistent in such areas, but Adam4 Adam and Grindr have at least a few people. The nearby town of Springfield has had some providers come and go, but it’s probably because next to nobody is booking in the area. You almost have to advertise for days and weeks and, specifically have to have your home location set in the area. Which isn’t efficient when you could be advertising in the bigger locations. I’m also concerned about the “new” RentMen look. Is it going to make things better, or does it risk becoming another Adam4Adam that changed its style, and lost a lot of members in the process? I don’t think the site needed a layout change, just better features.

Well, right now Vegas sounds more fun than my current market. Funny thing is: Kansas City and St. Louis both have casinos, but Las Vegas is one of the few cities that have come up with a “strip” that’s world renowned. I used to drive the Vegas strip long before actually going, on the popular arcade game “cruising USA”. Also, there’s Branson Missouri which has been dubbed the “Las Vegas of the ozarks”, but I have tried extensively to advertise there and get clients: to no avail. Maybe I’m so used to cities like Miami, San Francisco, and DC having a “name”…. So it seems equal that a place like Branson could be a great place to escort and find clients. So far, usually always just inquiries and the occasional “my wife is looking to play” requests. The only places to get steady clients in Missouri is St. Louis or Kansas City, with the once in a blue bookings in other towns. And even then, both cities are usually no rhyme or rhythm. St. Louis can be busy one week, dead the next. Kansas City lately has been consistently quiet in the past few months since the lockdowns tapered off. I been trying to settle down in St. Louis long term, but I just can’t 100% be confident people are going to do what they’re supposed to do. There’s weird dynamic in both Kansas City and St. Louis: there’s a demand for Black men, but not so much for Black providers. They either want it for free, or come around once or twice but aren’t consistent. And there’s not a whole lot of demand in either to support 3, 4, 5 other Black providers all posting at the same time. I really prefer to be in a city that’s either more business/tourist/retirement traffic, or where I can be a novelty. Las Vegas has the traffic, but not the novelty. Kansas City and St. Louis are mostly just cliquey, conservative “career types”. If I can find the place where I can be novelty, with good tourist/business traffic AND a dependable local base: I would move there ASAP. Denver and Phoenix used to have those properties, but they lost the novel considering so many guys have been getting into it.

Who told you that? For me it has nothing to do with money, but more about the fact I don’t have the luxury to sit around and be ready for appointments that I never know is going to happen. Just think about it: if you called a family member that You’ve not seen in months or years and just said, “hey Bob, I want to come over now/in an hour. U avail?” That would come off very weird and disrespectful. But that’s how MSMs looking to pay for it, pretend it’s okay. It’s not. The guy who contacted me Friday asking this, hasn’t contacted me since 2021: over a year ago. Then had the audacity to ask me to meet in the afternoon, after he didn’t show up to the last appointment. Also: I have to once again make it clear, I’m not saying there’s anything wrong with same day appointments. I have been taking same day appointments for years, and continue to do so now. It’s not same day appointments that are the issue, it’s those with LIMITED time windows, where they probably SHOULDN’T request same day appointments. Notice the title and the reference I’m making. Want a same day appointment? Great! I’m down. But this is when I’m available to do it, if someone wants the booking, same day: they need to be willing to accommodate the time I can do it. Problem is, most don’t or are unable to. Then it just leaves me like 🤷🏾‍♂️ well, if I knew you couldn’t meet any later than X time today, I would have planned accordingly. But since you just threw this request in my lap, that’s not enough time for me.