TallMuscl37

Well that and just someone very obsessive and maybe into mind games if they called between a time that soloyo was busy. Then again, if they were “dating”, it sounds like they met more than once? Idk, hell I could name a million situations where a potential possibility failed to communicate properly, both in and out of sex work. Like saying goes, it takes 2 to tango. If 2 people really want to make something happen, they’ll do so. Sometimes it’s not about who said what or didn’t say what, miscommunications etc etc. Like in one of my examples above, the other party had the option to put more effort into planning the booking.

Yeah, typical weak yet controlling client…not wanting to do the work to communicate, and throwing his toys 🧸 on the floor. He should have better explained his situation. But then again, that’s why I am doing consultation fees, deposits and not showing my number as much. Dealing with that a few times, over a few days and not getting anything to show at the end of the week: and you lose your patience very quick…

Well, in another universe…this exact same thing has been discussed recently: I think gay culture has made many male escorts treat this like a “side gig” that isn’t to be taken seriously. Many even self profess not taking it seriously either. Some are also on drugs, no matter how professional their ads come off. Weekend warriors, or they are partnered to a man or women. I also notice this from the client side, like the guy in the above post I made. He’s wanting attention without actually giving me anything to work with. GI creative professional tells me 0 about the client and what he’s looking for. Absolutely nothing. Doesn’t even address me by name. He might as well sent that to 1,000,000 different guys. And sure enough, he never booked a session this time around. I actually stopped at a rest stop while driving to text him…because I needed to quickly decide whether to take the highway going north to where he was, or west to go home because I needed to figure out before I got to the crossroad. All he does is tell me he doesn’t want to send a deposit, nor isn’t available at the time I would arrive to town. But that he would “try” to break free tomorrow. After saying he was free all day Saturday…assuming I had no plans of my own. I told him: (he’s in Grey texting me in blue) A thumbs up, really? It’s stuff like that which is why I don’t want my phone number displayed. Even “registered users” are just as much timewasters as any others. They just blatantly not read my ad otherwise they wouldn’t say the exact same shit that I have plainly in my profile 🤦🏾‍♂️ That’s why in my RM auto responder now, I’m making sure they agree to TWO (2) things before they see my number. Like I literally have to block myself out behind a message in order for them to comprehend. I prefer to work in a professional manner. That’s why I’ve taken the word “Consultant” and applied it to what I am. Escort has lost its professional meaning and has been replaced by “RentMan, Masseur”. I told RentMen I’m sick of the BS clients on the site. We need to be getting paid for these exchanges whether they book us or not. I want minimum $20 every time a client on the site contacts me. PERIOD. If I wanted to have my time wasted for free I’d just stick with Grindr. No reason to pay $79 a month to deal with this nonsense.

On top of that, many clients come off dismissive right off the bat. Instead of compromising and discussing an option, they immediately resort to passive aggressive departure. That’s a sign of a weak, yet controlling man who is afraid of any level of conflict. That’s why I told RentMen and RentMasseur: I’m tired of this shit. For the money we pay to them, they should be doing more to micromanage these guys. It’s too much work. If someone is going to not read a profile, at least have the decency to follow what a provider asks for. Too many of these guys expect far too much upfront, but do very little to convey they are willing to put the effort.

I’m still trying to figure out: what color bubble is the client and which is the escort?? I assume the client is the one saying he doesn’t want to waste his time? Yeah that’s passive aggressive client behavior I see often…(I’m in blue) My vote is YES: and I was going to post a topic about this exact thing but, I promised I’d make less threads and just respond to others, but it’s like practically revealing itself😂 My topic was going to be: THE FRAGILE CLIENT EGO. It’s a very real thing. I’ve dealt with it twice in the past week: Then a couple messages later: And I’m paying $49 and $79 a month to deal with this shit? This is an obscene. I’ve been dealing with shit like this ALL YEAR. People wonder why I ask deposits and charge to be contacted: because 90% of tripe from RM is all nonsense and flakes, I can’t run a biz that requires SPENDING MONEY on hotels, travel, etc. relying that unreliable, dishonest fake clients are going to show up. I’ve made sure going forward in my ads I make it very very clear what’s to be expected, and I’m not taking excuses because it’s all in writing! I feel like I’ma teacher of middle school students some days!!! We need to be getting paid an actual salary, this commission shit isn’t working 🤦🏾‍♂️

Funny thing is: when I send inquiries a detail response asking them to tell me a bit about themselves: many don’t even respond back. But then few months/years later they try the same thing again 🤦🏾‍♂️

That’s the level I’m at currently. I used to charge between 150-200-250 but now I’m at 200-250-300, although I want to push to 250-300-350 (I offer tier level sessions). However, instead of chasing the price increase rat 🐀 race, I’m just offering add ons like 75 min, 90 min, Two Hours. At the end of the day, I’m still getting 250-500 for most appointments. Problem is, the bookings are fewer now even before the rate went up…so I’ve had to in turn, make sure I’m asking more. One semi-regular I was seeing dropped me last year because I wouldn’t see him for $200. But I told him: you can’t just meet once every 6 months and expect a discount. I have to remind people this all the time. Stop popping up out the blue expecting me to charge the same rates as 2022 ✋🏾 Well, I’ve noticed with Minneapolis in general: I’ve been trying to plan trips there lately and I keep having to not go myself because the level of commitment seems low there. I used to do well there but lately I haven’t been able to get enough serious clients and most seem scared to send a deposit (which I’m going to address more below). That’s because as I’ve said throughout the forum: business is slow. Especially in cities like Chicago because so many guys are posting on there. The big cities now are just chock full of ads, and now it’s anybody’s guess who’s a real client anymore. It used to be guys would contact and book. Now, every inquiry is a time waster (at least from my observations and experiences). I sent RentMen FOUR (4) emails today basically roasting them over hot coals letting them know I’m sick and tired of having to micromanage clients from the site. Lately it’s become like a Grindr: people are hitting me up not talking about money at all, being unresponsive in communications, just basically being a big time waste. They’re doing minimal effort and collecting our money, while we have to do all the legwork to deal with the nonsense everyday. I just came back from Nashville and I have about 10-15 texts over a 1 week period of people contacting. Only 1 client managed to book out of all those. I have suggested solutions to them before and they refuse to take it. I deal with far less Timewasters on my own website than RentMen. When people go to my site, they know I mean business and I’m talking about money on every page. I feel RentMen is making it optional, and guys are getting away with wasting our time for free. I’m nipping that shit in the bud immediately. No phone numbers are going up, every communication is going to be automated and making them agree to my terms before any engagement occurs. See above response. I’ve told RentMen they need to bring rates back. It’s become a Grindr and the pay seems optional.

Red flag 🚩 right here. Any provider asking you to stop and pick up something whether an x box gift card, poppers, etc. proceed with caution. Unless it’s someone like me with a verified set of reviews and website. Clients have asked me to pick up stuff for them, but I always get a deposit before buying anything: whether it’s a hotel room or “extras”

For me…desire

Funny is: I’ve met the Prima Donna guy a few times. He’s great in person, but turns into this Mr. Hyde bitch over texts. It was exactly why I stopped dealing with him for over 6 months. He hits me up again last month, and I’m thinking okay; I’ll give him another chance. But considering his age, some people just don’t change. I feel like after 40, whatever way a guy is: it’s always going to be that way. Only thing I can do is deal with them, in a way that I best deal with them. In the case of the Karen prima Donna: I told him, if you want to keep canceling invites to your place, I’m not coming back. You make the effort and see me sometimes. That’s how these Kansas City clients are. They either can never host, or they ONLY want to host and are impatient as hell when they are hosting lol. Maybe they need to hire a Kansas City football player and see how much they’ll charge. My $1,000 inconvenience rate will seem like pennies compared to what they’d charge. $50,000 just to suck their dick 😂

I was so ready to block him but, I was like: let me respond educatedly instead and flip the paradigm. I showed up, but he was a Royal bitch the whole process. At one point rushing me to get there by a certain time when he had no plans after the session, despite HIM dragging the whole process out longer than what was needed 🤦🏾‍♂️ When I visit cities with lots of SERIOUS non-complicated clients, I don’t give bullshit the time of day. They will be erased and replaced immediately. Sometimes I don’t see how people carry a full time job and deal with these people. It would be too much. Unless, those with regular jobs are more quick to block and ignore people like that if the money is just supplementary

No it’s not, you’re just focusing on the neg click bait stuff…but I say plenty of positive and encouraging things throughout the board. You are having a problem, with a discussion and then have the audacity to make up a bold face lie saying “no wonder you get no clients”.…who the hell told you that? And you also erroneously assume that I can control client’s erratic behavior and conversations, based on a response: when many times they are the ones creating the drama 90% of the time. For example, just yesterday I had to read this bullshit from 2 separate clients: Client A: I had to bite my tongue SOOOOOO HARD in this exchange. In fact I wrote him a couple texts (one telling him to fuck off and that I’m reporting his screenname to RM for harassment) and deleted it, so tried as hard as possible to be professional. Because in my town, few of the clients are ever serious…and I have to deal with the bullshit until I leave town. We ended up meeting up, but guess what? He was trying to get me to take the condom off. And I was like NOPE, if you don’t believe I’m clean then it’s best to play safe. How the fuck??? lol And then here, my regular male “Karen” client who was on his THIRD cancellation since I took him off my blocked list couple weeks ago: Now the guy above: I’ve had the discussion with him last time in person: he lives an hour away from me, and I can’t always drop everything to meet him right away. He also had the chance to meet me Saturday, and we HAD A TIME in mind, and he cancelled on that because he was in a “funky mood”. This mother fucker constantly changes his tune, yet then expects me to be attentive and responsive everytime he perks into the mood. I swear he’s bipolar or manic depressive or something. But after that, I told him I’m not available to come to his house next time because this been the THIRD TIME he’s invited me over and cancelled. This mofo has the nerve to reply back: I think you, @BostonDadType need to stop living in this denial that certain providers don’t have to deal with A LOT of annoying man child behavior on a regular basis. You can’t seem to wrap your head around it because, you think positivity breeds positivity. Not necessarily in all cases. And the only reason I give these people half a time of day is because, I have a very limited pool of clients to work with in my area. 9/10 are flakes, low ballers, only want to pay crack whore rates…or like someone said previously: 1999 rates 😆 They think $150 should get full service bareback and massage 🤦🏾‍♂️ That’s the problem: I’m NOT always free. And also, you’re under the impression that money can be used to bypass a person’s boundaries. I just had a conversation with someone earlier on this exact subject: I don’t let clients book me last minute or same day all the time because…I may have OTHER OBLIGATIONS in place. I can’t break those obligations on the basis of money. I used to do it, and I’ve lost friends, potential long term lovers, etc. So now, I rarely do it unless I literally am just in a hotel and ready. And like I’ve told you and the whole forum a MILLION TIMES: every fucking time I do that, nobody calls. EVER. Nobody is ever ready at the same damn time. That’s why things need to be arranged ahead of time. I have stayed in hotel after hotel, apartment after apartment, air bnb after air bnb “available now” and no client is available until I decide to make plans. Instead of playing that game, I rather just make people book in advance. The “ready now let’s fuck” for gay sex in 5 minutes notice, is something that was created years ago in public parks and bath houses. People need to pull their heads out their ass and realize not every gay man, whether free or for pay, wants to connect like that anymore. If guys can plan everything else in their life, for everybody else, then they should be able to do it with hookups too. I don’t want to hear excuses or devils advocates. And starting today, I’m charging extra $25 for same day appointments, PERIOD!

Again, it’s not that I’m not taking the advice. However I also have the option to reply back if I feel something doesn’t accurately describe a situation. Some of you need to stop with the “I need to listen” commands. The way it comes off is like you are my superiors. Just because someone makes a statement about something, doesn’t mean I have no say in disagreeing with it. And yes if someone lies/exaggerates and says I’m not getting any business, then yes I reserve the right to correct them. And once again, if you read the situations I describe objectively: you’ll see it’s not just me or what I am or not doing. It’s a bigger picture. There’s other people saying similar elsewhere in the internet space: and then another: I think what you and some others need to do: is stop being so critical and act like I’m the problem for every issue I bring up. If you not coming with any specific advice to the topic (e.g. tell guys you charge an extra $100 for same day bookings), and only coming here to try and put me in my place: then don’t expect me to just sit back and “take it” without no say on anything☝

Reminds me of a time I cash app requested a client for $1,000 after his several-th time contacting for a booking and not following thru. He’s like, “did you send me a request for $1,000?” Yes I did… for at least 4-5 requests ghosted. He laughed and blocked me. Good riddance, job accomplished. Some of these guys deserve to be charged $1,000. The level of impatience some of them have is sickening. Yet, when I need an answer they wait days, months to return a message.

At this point, I feel 250 is the least I’m willing to do calls for anymore. Anything less is not worth it to me, and even when some do get it for less than that price, they don’t meet often enough to justify it. Some do it for a quick fix, and then don’t reappear for another year down the line. I’m trying hard not to just say fuck it: everything is $500 minimum. Won’t make a difference if it’s massage or full on f-ing: time is time regardless. I get tired of having constantly be gaslit and haggled over prices. I know my worth. I know what I need to maintain. $200 is not going to maintain and traveling provider who has ads, hotels, living expenses, and the whole gamut. That’s just money to pay 1 bill and maybe go grocery shopping. And I have to be seeing more than 1 of those a day, to turn a profit. Yet then some want to bring up “are you clean/disease free?” When it comes time for me to pay my dues, I don’t have time be sitting around arguing over the difference between $150-$200-$250 🤷🏾‍♂️

One thing I wish many clients would understand: don’t try to come around months later expecting someone to be charging to same price that you FLAKED OUT on in the past. For example, there’s imbecile who has the audacity to bring up a previous conversation that he never bothered to show up for: That is why I’m moving my rates up. The less I have to deal with these cheapskate imbeciles who think $150 and $200 is a universal rate, the better. Only consistent regulars deserve discounts! And I’m not talking about some random who only comes around once or twice a year and think he’s a deserving of a discount. If you local, you need to be meeting every couple weeks or at least once a month.

I’ll just add another thing regarding price points and stuff: I’m reaching a stage where I don’t know if $200/$250 sessions are sustainable much longer. Even though RentMasseur is supposed to be geared towards massages, truth is a lot of people go there looking for “other” services. The issue is: some are willing to pay $500, the majority seem to expect $60, $80, $100. $150 max. The problem this presents for me is: if I’m going to appease the lower end of the rates, I have to be taking much higher volume than I’ve been seeing in the past couple years. It used to be okay in the Craigslist days to have clients calling and texting daily, and I had an open in-call space to host from. However the issue with volume is, the wear and tear (not literal) on my body and health. That means I have to be traveling often, and taking clients one after the next. And in conversing with a member here the other day, all that hotel staying sometimes leads to random illness here and there, which is the worst to happen during a trip. I’ve also had a helluva time trying to find discreet enough apartments in St. Louis area (many are built where the neighbors door is right next to each other) and I’m not into multi-level buildings due to the moving and even grocery inconvenience it causes. The location I share now is very discreet and easy, but I can’t have 2-3 clients a day in and out with a part time roommate. And then, when I offer promotional sessions, people aren’t always jumping on it right away. I might get one or 2, and only when I’m available right that moment to take it. Like this past week: I got hit with a $1,000 repair repair bill: yet I had 0 bookings last week. I had to use money set aside up from previous bookings to cover it. Now I’m setback and have to somehow try to come back up again, and make that money back. And I know it’s unlikely to happen in my local area because all the ecstatic Kansas City fans are spending money to go to Las Vegas or host Super Bowl parties, so I need to once again plan a tour. I feel the best solution is to transition to somewhere between $350 to $500 for a meet. Not an “hour”, a meet. Simply because I know most clients only want to stay for an hour or 2. Whether they want stay an hour, 90 minutes or 2: $500 is generally sufficient hypothetically. Only thing, I would hate to alienate some of the younger clients out there who wish to meet, but for them I’d have to probably come up with some sort of compromise. Maybe “$100 off for clients under 30 lol” similar to how nightclubs charge under 21 extra to get in, but in my case they’d be eligible for a discount. Plus hotels are too goddamn expensive anymore. Couple weeks ago I hosted a regular, and I did ask him for $500 because: the hotel was $89+taxes and a $100 deposit. So basically came up to over $200. So how the fuck am I going to host a client for $150/$200/$250 when when many hotels are sucking up $200 right off the bat? It’s crazy. It’s very expensive to be a provider and people don’t understand that. It’s infuriating at times. I remember years ago, a client of mine somehow included his ATM receipt with the payment in the envelope. I remember him being generous but, he had like $27,000 in his bank account balance. I wasn’t mad but, it would make me livid to know a client doesn’t want to pay $500 versus $250, and sitting with $20,000+ in the bank account. I don’t even have $2,500 in mine right now 🤷🏾‍♂️ I know that’s deep stuff some people don’t want to know but, people need to understand why some of us do what we do. I can’t speak for everyone, and I’m certainly not normalizing $350+: but after the many years I been in the scene, I just feel I deserve it for every session.

Sometimes I wonder the same myself. Idk how often people here go out but: there’s just not as many guys out here, especially American: escorting as much as you’d think. It looks very filled on the websites, but just an average night going out to bars or gay pool parties: it’s become so uncommon to run into another escort, that I rarely bring it up much in public. At least not in the region I’m in. You see them, but you almost have to look for them. Whereas lately the closest many guys get to sex work, is Instagram modeling and onlyfans. And some of them don’t even work with other guys, it’s just them doing solo things.

It’s unfortunate that some people deal with such things. However toxicity is one of those things that are just out there in the gay world 🌎 It’s not just clients and providers but all across the board. You can run into the same things meeting guys the conventional way. It’s so bad in Kansas City area that, majority of the gay dudes at the bars and hookup apps are on drugs or something. I rarely ever get to meet them outside of a bedroom, because they’re too busy getting clucked out all night and go into hiding during the day. I think that’s why the client scene out here is lacking. The well off people with money don’t even support the trade at all here. I manage to get a few here and there because my presentation, but even that isn’t much to thrive off. The important part is to just be discerning. That’s why even though some think it’s amusing or accurate to say I’m not getting any clients: I’m not really all that offended. That would be misinformed, however to an extent it is correct: My door 🚪 doesn’t need to be open for every Tom, Dick and Harry who wants to walk thru.

Let’s be clear; I am not native of this area. And the only reason I’m even here is due to extenuating circumstances. If it were any other city: I would not be making repeat visits. Some markets get very limited visits from me. I just don’t deal with certain cities. However It’s just where one of the markets I service, and due to the above mentioned issues: I try to travel frequently….

I just want to readdress this line again. Let’s not go there with the assumptions about why someone is or isn’t getting appointments. I’ve discussed this in full many times across the board. It often has way more to do than just a website and deposit. Like I’ve said, things are in a weird place in a different time right now. Years ago, when I started: I used to be able to get guys to book me left and right, and all I had was a grainy webcam photo and didn’t use paid sites until a few months in. I was just getting started during the hayday period for gay escorting sites. Things are different now. My location has changed, websites have changed, rates and economy have changed. I also live in a conservative area: not to rehash the same old topic but, lot of guys here are either low budget and don’t want to pay, or they only want to patronize a certain “type”. I won’t throw race in there, but it’s often a factor. All I mainly see traveling here are White and Latino escorts. I believe the Black and “non-White/Latin” escorts here are working with a very limited pool of clients. THAT is why I don’t have as many appointments as I want. Not because of having a website. Let’s just clarify that. I’ve seen first hand how things go. It doesn’t matter if I was “available now” and charging $100. Or nothing at all. Some areas, the gay scene treats escorts with no respect or regard. They don’t want to pay, they just want free free free. I see it all the time in my local area. I have to regularly “coax” guys into booking, even when they say dismissive things about sex workers. Like I said: I’ve done the easy stuff and it didn’t work because people took advantage and took for granted. Now I have to do things differently, and anyone who “runs” probably would do that even if I did make it easy.

Almost sounds similar to a friend I know. He spent something like almost a year in jail due to some petty family dispute that just blew up into a full fledge felony. I had to kinda be like a counselor thru that whole time while also trying not to directly blame him for what happened. Like in the case of where someone said: “his girlfriend put him jail”….well not really. She might have been the facilitator but, ultimately it comes down to how the system works and controlling one’s own action. And the golden rule for every man: If you can avoid problems with a woman, avoid it. Doesn’t matter if it’s family or your girlfriend. I only trust women around me for select periods of time. I don’t even like to be around gay dudes who spend too much time around various women, unless it’s a real close friend who’s trustworthy (some make great wingwomen lol). It’s sad though, like I said in another (now closed) thread: the system is real. Some people can’t stay out of it but: too often it’s a default solution. Fortunately my friend has gotten back on his feet, and I think my counseling and sending links of online resources have helped. I always try to include: I’m not perfect and dealing with hurdles of my own.

I just wanted to clarify: I never said or implied I’m getting no appointments. My website has been up now going on 2 years. It has made a difference in my life for the better. Prior to that, I was the one going crazy. Now, in no attempt to “disregard” your advice: However, I still feel it’s best to state how I prefer to do things. Yes, a consultation of $25 I feel is reasonable, and many clients have sent one. I think too many times, especially at the start of our career: we like to sound fun and bubbly and talk about how hot and fun we are. That’s great to do on the ads. But, we also get limited real estate to mention everything. There’s a not a lot character count on sites like Adam and RentMen. And I’d say majority of the times: people don’t read the ads and it’s evident when I allow my number to be displayed: they contact asking for rates. Even though the link to my site is there in my ad. Also the paragraphs you quoted are spread out over different pages. Not all in the same page. I make updates to my website every so often, and try to make it easy and quick to read without leaving out important details. I know it’s not state of the art but, it’s from professional templates that I took the time to modify and edit to my desires. I won’t say names, but just last month I had the assistant of a musician who booked me for his client and went to my website. So obviously I’m doing something right 🤷🏾‍♂️ I get that, but like I said: people don’t read ads. When I relied on that, I couldn’t get everything I wanted to say. RentMen cuts the profile writing off at a certain point…which requires clients to click anyway. Also the “available now” green light will have people in any city I’m advertised in thinking I’m available Now. Then you have to click see more to view the rest. So I try to put what I can that is most important, while still including a little bit of enticing details. However if people are using Rent.Men, you’ll see it’s more laid out.

Well the latter can be the case regardless. I’ve had available now on and could be ready to see a client short notice and guess what? Either nobody calls or they flake. Operating out of desperation is not an ideal position to be in. Accepting whatever and everything that comes thru the phone isn’t either. I’ve done the no rules, no deposits/advance bookings thing before. And I still do, IF it’s very very easy and I feel like it. Like, they’re just down the street or they have a real good reason for being unable to do at least one or the other. No deposit? Okay let me verify the hotel you’re at. But…having guidelines and boundaries is better for longevity and sustainability. When you’ve been in it for as long as I have: you’ve just about seen it all and done it all. And I see it all the time. Like a friend of mine, he was about to dash out the door to meet some guy off an app he just met. I was like, hmm that seems quite last minute. Sure enough, other dude stopped responding. Then some have the audacity to not want to exchange numbers. Every time I have allowed myself to meet someone like that, something bad happens. It’s like, they’re trying to hide something, or they are being shady and distrustful. Not necessarily clients per say, but just gay hookups in general.

No they wouldn’t. Most everybody has an iPhone. Apple Pay. All we have to do is normalize it, and mitigate the scammers or no shows. If someone won’t book a reputable provider due to a deposit, then they probably not serious about paying at all.