TallMuscl37

For me, the consultation is basically prioritizing an inquiry with may include but not be limited to: screening, viewing their pics (which can sometimes be something XXX rated) which I don’t mind but: often requires me to seek privacy if I don’t already have it in the moment, answering questions, etc. There’s been times I may have been out with family, friends, or just doing general “me” stuff: and get a booking request. But after an hour of texting (and I know many people will say you can figure everything out in 10 minutes: but that’s not necessarily true. I would say on average it takes an hour of texting (breaks/thinking included) to figure out if there’s match. Occasionally if someone is super horny now, and I happen to also be available at the same time and they are ready to meet: it can only take 10 minutes to go from Hi, rate, address. But that rarely happens, unless I’m “Available now” laying in bed doing nothing with my life all day long: which conveniently is the times nobody texts me 🤦🏾‍♂️ They text me right when I decide to walk into the gym, or start a movie 😂 thanks for sharing. I’ve actually gotten to become friends with my barber, and I can tell he has his share of annoying customers from time to time. I also can see when things get slow or he gets frustrated when people show up before closing and expect to bring 2-3 kids along too. But what your hairdresser friend sounds like, is definitely a handful. If I were her, I would definitely be charging deposits for the fact of having to be there so early. But at the same time, by having a dedicated studio and work hours: I can see it not being “required” to need a deposit…she is basically just showing up to work on a set schedule, versus commuting to different areas or hosting out of a hotel or her own private space. Good suggestion. And that’s why I didn’t take that text. And I’ll also add: the text I screenshot in the original message, I really didn’t want to see him. I sent him that message, and then rolled over and went to bed without even looking back at his response. Because I seen his previous attempts to book me, were low vibrational and low effort. So I wanted to quote him a minimum but I was surprised he was going to pay the $400. However, I was still too tired from the long ride, and I had been available for 3 hours that night, and he texts me just as I got into bed 🤦🏾‍♂️ Ugh, don’t even get me started with guys from Grindr 🤦🏾‍♂️ I stopped in Chicago couple weekends ago: it was only meant to be a one night stop on my way elsewhere. But, since I didn’t have any clients the night I arrived, I tried to make use of my hotel room by logging onto Grindr. Came across a sexy guy nearby, however he didn’t get back to me until the next morning and I only had the room for one night. He’s like come over, so after I check out of my hotel I reach out to him. Went to his apartment (it wasn’t bad…just older, but gave me a weird vibe). Long story short, we had a good time, even hung out longer than anticipated watching movies and fucking. Spent the night. But he failed to inform that his complex was permit parking only. I wake up the next morning and look out the window, my car is GONE. I’m going crazy about to have a manic attack because all my luggage was in there. It just soured the experience. I was disappointed at him for hiding the facts, but I was equally disappointed at myself for once again: trusting a Grindr dude to transparency. It’s exactly why I just stick to client meetups when traveling. And it’s ESPECIALLY why I don’t like to break my #1 rule when meeting guys on Grindr: never trust going to their place the first time. I have them come to me or a public place. But that’s usually been so I don’t waste my time going to their place if they aren’t serious. But I never been to a Grindr date’s house and got towed. That’ll be another reason to add.

Thanks and excuse me if the vent is a bit personal. But it’s the truth. This all just reminded me of a very simple thing that I was due to do anyway and right on time: just taking down my number and going back to the basics. Some of these same guys haven’t sent a penny for a consultation fee, so they really don’t need to have access to my line to begin with. It’s a reason why I don’t like to be persuaded into believing the things I ask for: are asking too much. Because when I don’t, these fuckers are liable to zap the energy and zest out of my aura. I don’t have time for it. I just have to stick to my guns and not worry about the missing potential biz. Hell, over the past two weeks traveling 4 different states: I can count all the clients I’ve had, all but 1 sent deposits and booked longer sessions. Maybe about 4 or 5. Everybody else have just been “text pests” contacting me with meaningless inquiries that were very poorly coordinated. Many didn’t get a response or I had to 🚮 after a couple messages. This is also the reason I avoid cities with more than just a couple or so providers. It’s too much stupidity in the crowded markets. Sit around and respond to dozen of messages from people who haven’t done the most elementary of research or even know anything about me, yet expect instant attention. How is that supposed to actually work?

…Just overall feeling resentful towards the profession after all month listening to client’s excuses, bad planning, and just overall unreliability. It’s the things like: people expecting me to be ready for them on a whim after not hearing from them for weeks or years in some cases. Then I take time out of my lifestyle to travel and be gone for days and weeks: and not get even treated out for a dinner, no Christmas parties. It’s like what the fuck? I just feel so unappreciated and undervalued. Yet people want to contact me and tell me what they don’t want to do (like hitting me up at 12 midnight after I drove for 6 hours thru the rain, and want to fucking tell ME he doesn’t want to send a deposit 🤦🏾‍♂️ And this same person last contacted me August 2022. So now, NOW…I have to get out of bed at midnight and void my deposit policy to service your dick emergency out the blue? Fuck you! lol. I was nice to him, but I blacklisted his ass to high hell and I hope nobody has to deal with his shit. Meanwhile I have another client who I’m about to straight up tell him: “I met you on same day notice LAST time on Black Friday, I’m not doing it again. He needs to get his shit together, I don’t give a shit if you’re married or not, but I’m not about to be running around hosting at the last minute if you can’t plan at least a day ahead. It’s inconsiderate and rude to think you can barge into my schedule, but be endlessly busy when I try to get them to schedule anything when it’s convenient for me. And in the same tone, I got so sick of asking around clients earlier this month trying to get them to book after they requested a visit from me. I’m not putting effort anymore if they can’t be bothered to show up. The bullshit is tiring and depressing. Why the fuck I spend $79, $39, and $30 a month (across 3 different websites) to deal with this shit is a disgrace 😤

I think that also assumes that someone is going to be having said functions going on. I know some people don’t really have much at all really planned during the holidays. I’ve known some single folks to spend the day doing projects or catching up on sleeping versus doing functions and stuff. Or they’ll only reserve the evening with family while keeping the day time available or something.

I’ve had years that I’ve traveled to other cities for Christmas and would take appointments. However, over the years I’ve become less inclined to that, and prefer to just spend it with friends or family in a city I know. Mainly because I find it’s too much out the blue and last minute bookings and it can be a bit annoying. Like last week, I had (3) clients all trying to book me in the same time of day. I was only able to meet 1, the other 2 could only meet that one day, at that one time…and all were same day requests, which I’ve discussed before can be welcoming or irritating depending on the amount or lack of notice. And then these past couple days: I’m getting everything from clients hitting me up who haven’t replied back in over a year or 2, to people contacting but having hardly any availability to meet because of this, and that and whatever other plans that has nothing to do with me. Needless to say, I’m about to take my availability down for the remainder of the weekend. I just can’t be bothered with people’s bad planning and expecting me to contort all different ways to accommodate, when they couldn’t show the same courtesy or sense of urgency last time and the time before that 🤦🏾‍♂️

lol well, it’s either St. Louis or Chicago. Which is where I am currently. But most people who come to Chicago for fun, usually have to plan it out a bit. And I also find St. Louis guys don’t make it up to Chicago much unless they are of the “wealthier” crowd. It’s definitely a little more expensive up here, but I feel St. Louis is an extension of Chicago, similar to places like Oklahoma City is Dallas/FortWorth’s smaller version and San Diego is the “smaller” alternative to Los Angeles (not assuming those cities want to be like those bigger areas but: it’s still the same spirit when you’re not from there.) Well they say, “know your competition” right? it’s not that I’m worried about it but, it’s good to be aware of it and assess it every so often. I’ve learned some things just by looking at other guy’s ads without even contacting them at all. For example, I didn’t realize I can advertise in up to 12 cities by using Rent.Men, until I seen one guy’s ad with multiple cities. Normally on old RentMen, you could only choose 6. The new version you can do 6 nearby and 6 travel cities. I still feel (and no offense to anyone who uses them as some guys still look good doing it regardless) but…I just feel the vast camera phone usage on RentMen gives it too much of a hookup app-ish feel. I know it gives a personable and realistic feel but: I wonder if people can tell the difference between the amateurs and the legit long time professionals. And I do agree RentMen was able to take the market by storm after RentBoy went away but, I think the increase has catapulted ever since inflation jumped. I think there were fewer guys around Covid time. I also noticed some cities would be 20 guys, and then like 5 guys. And I’d notice business slowing down and they disappear, but then come back around. But I’m definitely noticing more guys posting during Christmas time. I hope most know that December is a relatively slower time for bookings! That’s why I left home because I couldn’t stick around waiting any longer waiting for local clients to not come. Last week was dealing with one of my regulars not keeping dates he was telling me he was available, and another new client who sent me a large deposit but then had to call off couple weekends ago and wouldn’t give an idea when I was trying to figure out when he wanted to book. I’m like what the fuck? The craziness of some towns. I can’t be bothered with BS when there’s things I could be getting done. I don’t think I’ll even want to go back home until a day or 2 prior to Christmas. Schedule better off traveling but, I’m being careful because it’s still slow and a lot of bored guys requesting appointments and not following thru…I may take my number down again if it comes down to it.

Well in this case I was referring to a conservative City all together. Well, it’s “semi-conservative”. Basically St. Louis I’m referring to. It’s a weird dichotomy to me in some ways. I stay there part time but it’s weird how despite it often being a place with a higher level of crime, half the city is super conservative. Pretty much favors Chicago in that setup. I was talking to a (Mid 30s Bottom guy) awhile back and he said something similar: The gay scene in St. Louis seems a bit judgy and conservative, whereas it seems the straight “urban” scene tends to advertise being more kinky and raunchy: at least on music. And the gays in the area can be willing to buy but, only on Rent sites and occasionally Adam. I’ve gone to bars and the hookup apps and met people, non of it seems to exist at all. It all seems very backstage and hush hush. Whereas when I lived in Miami, you could often just stand outside a bar and get picked up.

Well for me, when I’m moving my ads in different areas…it’s almost hard not to notice the other ads. I don’t always go counting but, I can definitely differentiate between a place with 2-3 guys versus one with like 50 where my ad may or may not always show on the “featured porn star” page. I can occasionally note the difference in terms of getting bookings as well. For example, came to one small-ish town the other day: reached out to a previous guy let him know I was coming, he booked me for the next day right away…confirmed and all was set. Most of the busier markets, many seem to already have their buffet of lays lol. But I also know how being the new guy visiting can make a big difference. Did content with a guy the other day in my other home base where it’s been slow for weeks, and he apparently had bookings in/out of his room and he only stayed couple nights. I was like, ha…funny how things work. Of course, he had a lower entry rate of $150 and not sure what all he would do for that amount. He was also readily available for incalls, which is pretty much all that Kansas City area clients want to do (at least in St. Louis more clients are willing to host…or I can host from my friend’s guest room).

Was talking to him the other day and he said he had browsed RentMen for the first time in awhile, and said he couldn’t believe how packed it was with guys advertising in town (and referring to a relatively medium sized/conservative city). Does anyone feel there’s more advertisers than available clients lately? Or can it be more of a speculative observation?

I’m officially calling bullshit on the “fell asleep” excuse. Unless the person is using drugs or sedatives…which is usually the case. I can understand falling asleep and not hearing an UNEXPECTED text or call, but for an appointment? Nah. I had someone do that to me the other night, not a client…but one of my fuck buddy friends. #1 I don’t believe him and #2 even if I did believe him, it’s like: why would you fall asleep mid-text when I say I’m on my way? And #3 that’s a waste of my time and gas especially at night. And I’ll also say: for every response here I’ll just mention, sometimes people talk about how the best masseurs/escorts are busy and don’t complain: but those are the same guys who are scheduling 10 clients in one day, and only making time for 1 or 2. But the gullible guys who think, “oh I’ll go with him, he doesn’t charge a deposit NOR require screening or advance notice, sounds easy I’ll book with him”…and then get flaked on. I’ve seen it in real life. I’ve seen some guys do the conveyor belt method of taking clients: it may make more money in the moment but, somebody going to get shafted when they can’t keep up with everyone they agreed to meet. The reason I ask for deposits and get screening details is because, I’m interested in making a mutually enjoyable experience. Not just booking a bunch of numbers and trying to fill what I can and fucking off (no pun intended) the rest.

Yeah I would never. Majority of “I don’t give my number” types don’t show up. Or won’t answer the door upon arrival. And tonight is another proven reason why I only see clients who do deposits. Too many people can’t be trusted. Granted, tonight I went to meet a friend (non-client, just a FB), and texted him I was on my way. I get there, still texting no response. Call, phone just rings. Pretty sure he’ll text me at some point in the next few hours like, “omg I’m so sorry I blah blah blah” like he’s done once, maybe twice before. 3rd time is taking advantage of grace. No fuck that. If I can’t trust someone to pick up the phone when I arrive, the most basic courtesy of things: it’s over. He won’t be getting another visit from me ever, unless he can reimburse the hour I spent going there and back. And that’s another reason too I don’t do too much free hookups either. Taking someone like me who’s used to people sending deposits before I meet them, only to go see someone for free and not get paid after: that’s foreign to me. They have to really have something out of this world for me to want to do that on a regular basis, and even then I ask most my hookups to either come to me when I can host, be prepared to leave something for coming unless they are a really good host.

I’m just curious about this line: is that something you’d normally do? Or was it something all planned by email only? I always ask to keep phone contact in the process of the arrival. Mainly because I’m not big on just having a knock at the door even if it’s at the specified time. I prefer a client let me know when he’s arrived. Case in point: years ago when I had a full time incall, I had a doorbell ring. I opened the door and it was a cop 👮🏻‍♂️ I was like, oh shit. But it wasn’t because I was in trouble, it was just a nosey neighbor concerned about what they thought was a dead cat 🐈‍⬛ in a crate. I chuckled 🤭 and explained: my cat ran away, I was simply trying to see if it could be coaxed back, with its favorite Davy Crockett raccoon tail hat like it did the other night it ran away. Problem solved, but cat never came back the 2nd time 🤷🏾‍♂️ Now imagine if hypothetically at the same time, I was waiting on a client who said he would “knock when he’s arrived”, and I opened the door with perhaps…nothing on? Nope. Best to phone upon arrival.

I thought this topic was about providers who precum lol… I’m a precummer too. But usually after a bit of foreplay. One thing I (admittedly but I get tested routinely and don’t offer it for every visit) like about BB is that I think I add to the bottom being lubed up with my own pc. It’s hard to tell if they’re wet from the Lube or me f**king my precum in their a**. I also tend to leak a bit of my actual cum in between edging, when things are really going. I find that then makes the actual orgasm explosive 💦 😂 On my last video shoot: The first time I came with him, it was a bit sudden and only dribbled out. Couple hours later, we went at it again and I told him to “give me a hand”. That time, I was sitting over his abs, but it ended up on his face 😛

This is exactly why I don’t think it’s asinine in any shape or fashion to ask a consultation payment before communicating with prospective clients. $25 to talk to the man of your…wet dreams? That’s a BARGAIN! Try contacting any of these guys for sex talk and see how much they’ll charge: more like $2,500 🤨 per minute. And $50,000,000 just to fuck them 🤔 The rock Tyson beckford The Kelces’

Well that’s good to know. And in cases like that, at least the person communicated with you and was making the effort. It’s when it comes down to the other stuff I have an issue with. Like the ones who contact like two years later out the blue expecting to meet right here, right now…and can’t seem to have a slightest patience to actually plan a time. Well if they waited two years, how is 2 hours going to do much harm? (reminds me of when you said, “makes you wonder if they seen a dick somewhere and suddenly got in the mood”) lol. I may even start implementing a rule: if it’s been more than a year since a client has reached out, and they couldn’t manage to meet the last time they contacted: I may just not respond. Or just send an auto reply along those lines and say, “The first inquiry was free, but it’s $25 if you wish to request a booking again.”

+1 on the effort to book =same effort to cancel. Or someone can also just be honest and offer to reschedule or send a cancellation courtesy. Otherwise it’s going to be hard for that client to keep up with his fibs lol.

Ah okay, I get it now. Well, trust me I know exactly what you mean. It’s similar to the same stuff I talk about all the time, that often gets filed under “complaints”. But if someone is actually dealing with annoying behavior, they’ll begin to understand why some escorts take deposits, why some escorts may charge consultations (why not? I’m paying $40-$150 a month to advertise. How is it crazy to then ask for something nominal to reach me? I still believe every escort should get $10 at least, for every client inquiry…PERIOD. You have to make an appointment to meet/talk with most celebrities, and many of them you go thru 3rd party.)…and why it may be brought up on the forum every other week. Did your client show up? That said: I find what’s equally annoying are people who text me out the blue similar to how you described: Like yesterday, someone contacted me asking if I’m still available tonight: he last contacted October 2021 and even though I replied a couple days later, no response of acknowledgment of my message. So I try to book him again this time and he’s beating around the bush, saying it’s gotten late and he’ll reach out to me again, but “doesn’t know when”. But stuff like this is so common in the town I stay, it’s almost predictable. That’s why myself and even other providers I’ve spoken to in the industry just will not work in certain markets, because too many people play games. Someone reached out to be Saturday for an appointment Monday morning: cancelled. Somebody asked about an appointment last night: didn’t follow thru. And then the last couple weeks I had 2-3 clients ask for appointments and not even get to confirming. This type of shit really makes me tired of the industry. Too many flakes, liars and unreliable. I woke up this morning wondering if I want to keep doing this because people aren’t reliable. Then again, it doesn’t help I’m in a shitty market: full of racists and homophobes, only thing really going for it is the football team. The rest of the scene is so trash that, I don’t even want to spend my money on any gay/nightlife establishments in the city because: why am I going to keep spending my money to be around people who have outright disrespect and animosity towards sex workers? That’s a waste of my energy and resources. That’s understandable, but at the end of the day: sex workers aren’t meant to take the place of a therapist. We can be therapeutic, but we’re not adept to helping grown ass men work out their insecurities, before they even met or paid us. A lot of us are contending with our own baggage and challenges already, so it’s not as easy to try and figure out why someone is behaving the way they are…Especially if they don’t communicate it. I don’t always think it’s nervous, some people need to just have a bit of respect. Especially like I said, the ones who appear out of the blue 2-3 years later (which has seemed to happen like 2-3 times this month, idk if it’s just the holiday blues or what), and then still don’t manage to book anything. Who has time for that? To me that’s not being a client. That’s someone just wanting some free attention from an escort. If someone was actually serious about having a visit, they wouldn’t be giving the run around and playing games. Then when I tell him that I’m only booking my 75 minute session price (not my 1 hour) because it was already late evening, but that I could book him tomorrow if he only wants the hour session: he comes with some lame excuse: And people wonder why I start asking $25 to be contacted. Luckily I wasn’t doing too much last night but…I dislike when people do things like that when I’m having an outing with friends or planning something with my night. I might as well not even responded to the text at all if they can’t make up their mind 🤦🏾‍♂️

hmm, meh…bleh. I don’t know. I feel like you errored by planning 2 appointments 30 minutes apart. I rarely ever do that these days. I even have a thing I occasionally tell clients: I only prefer to book 1 client PER time of day. So I’m not going to have two clients showing up in the afternoon, or evening…only 1 morning client, 1 afternoon client or 1 evening client. And even that rarely happens in sequence. Lately in this economy and hookup app culture: 1 maybe two clients a day is all I prefer to reserve. That’s why I ask for deposits (a cancellation or no show can mean lost funds for the day), and I’ve started asking more to host. The days of having 3-4 clients a day are not how I do things anymore….Unless I’m feeling really Randy (sorry had to use some British/Irish dialect there lol)… I usually need time to decompress and allow me and the client to have non rushed time together. For example, last Friday I had a bit of a quagmire: I was already running 10 minutes behind my 3 p.m. booking. Thanksgiving/Black Friday traffic, and the guy gave me same day notice which.. doesn’t bother me but when I have to leave home, pack an overnight bag, host and check into a hotel, I usually have to plan that the day before. But no biggie. However, I get to the hotel…there’s two guests just dragging out the whole check in process. When I check into a hotel, I try to do it within 1 minute lol. ID, credit card, room number. I don’t need to know anything else. Client is on his way lol. All the chit chat and questions I can do later. And then the hotel staff were training someone so it took like 15 minutes just to get my room key. Meanwhile client texts me saying; “I’m here” at 3. Fortunately he was cool and patient…and we had a great time. I just told him, “next time I prefer a day notice” because I didn’t even have but a couple minutes to get ready, and when hosting I like to have time to create my whole ambience: Candles, cover the bed, get my Amazon music selection going, etc. Just my personal preference: I prefer visits to be like a “date”. I don’t think it should be treated like a job interview per say. Those type of appointments are that way because they are often taking multiple appointments and working on a 8 hour work week schedule. So they can’t stay longer than the company is willing to pay for. With sex work, I just prefer a more Relaxed approached. I think of it like concert performers. They are never on the dot ready. They don’t even give a time. I went to one performance in Washington DC: the performer was set to “start” at 8 p He didn’t come out until 11:15 p lol. But everybody was there and attending and it wasn’t like anybody was on a clock. Think about this (a bit of Christmassy theme lol). The world has been waiting for Jesus to “show up” for the past 2,023 years. Is he late? Or is he waiting until the time is right? So 30 minutes late is a drop 💧 in a bucket 🪣 in the big scheme of things. People have to learn to be patient. As long as someone updates the person their arrival time, shouldn’t be an issue. And I know from driving a lot: stupid, excessive red lights in the city can easily add 10-15 minutes to your arrival. Shit like that makes people want to run reds and drive down the wrong way on the avenue lol…but is it worth killing myself or somebody else over? Not really. Exactly…even in some Spanish cultures, things often start later than usual. However, I notice some of that can be preferential based too. Hence the subject I said in another thread “White privilege”. There’s a such thing as Latino privilege too. I would be a liar if I made it up. Used to work in a bank run by South Americans, where employees would regularly showed up late. They gave me a 3 strike rule (or maybe call it, “full time employee privilege). Now I’m like, fuck that. Mean ole Cuban bitch wanted to have a menopausal moment on me. Now I’m like, bitch I run my own shit. She did the best favor for me ever: encouraging me to start my own empire. I’m grateful for being fired. Nobody can ever take my entrepreneurial spirit, away from me 😂

Or it could be something more sinister…maybe the person said or did something that turned the provider off (not saying in this case). Or the provider could just be on bullshit and not taking clients seriously. I know for me, I can’t wait around to figure it all out. Sometimes even if I seem busy and clients assume I’m with other clients it’s not always true. There could be any number of things going on in my schedule not related to this

For me, I understand the desire for same day or advanced notice bookings. However I do mention in my ads and websites what I “prefer”. Like I took a same day notice request the other day on Black Friday and it was okay, but the guy also reached out to me last month so I was on his radar. He sent deposit, contacted for a time and we met a few hours later. Not as early as he wanted but, I did mention same day bookings I often prefer flexibility. I know some escorts only want “right here, right now”, but…not everyone has the same scheduling model. I can be the right here, right now guy at times, but I try to convey to people that it’s best to reach me a day or 2 before. Or at least 1 to 2 hours if it’s same day. I’m not waiting around-round the clock, looking to get picked up. I even address “available now” on my website and what it means to me: I’m available to PLAN a time today. Doesn’t mean I’m actually ready to meet right in that very moment. I would say vast majority of my appointments this year have all been planned with at least a day to a couple hours in advance.

Well: part of “privilege” is understanding and accepting that, there is a chance that some clients may be more open to inviting a certain type of provider into their home…And less inclined to invite another type of provider, even if that client can host. Now…I’m not specifically speaking for me because, I’ve gone to all kinds of upscale outcalls. I also know though that, there’s people out there I may never meet at their place because they feel a certain way towards certain types. This CAN vary City to city. Even though you referenced guys who apparently do well in any bum fuck town, that’s still not enough to confirm that me or someone else specifically can do well in a specific area. You only gave anecdotal information. And I’ve said before in a different topic: I’m getting away from the numbers game model of incalls. I’m not about to be: 4 clients x $300 = $1,200. Because experience has taught that two of those clients likely won’t show. Maybe 1 will…then I have to figure out another way to fill that $900, hopefully before the checkout day of the hotel I’m at. I rather just start asking for more time/funds when I host. That’s why I now started doing 75/90 minutes minimum for incalls.

Meanwhile the conversation is continuing so…don’t pin that on 1 poster, whoever you may be referring to. Well, those big metro areas with higher income also means: higher cost of living, more competition and higher rates. I’ve been to all the big cities. Everything from Seattle to Miami, San Diego to Boston. They are great, they’re fun and I made good coin in all of them: but when it comes to making a move there: all of those factors are going to play a part. The bigger cities aren’t always the better deal, I’ve said it before. Some are great to travel to. I love traveling to San Francisco, but I don’t love paying $1,500 a month for a (wait for it) box 📦 lol. It takes money to live in those cities. I’ve often contemplated making a move to certain cities during my travels. But living there versus visiting are very different. It takes money to jump on a place, then you have to figure out how to move your life there. Years ago, I moved to San Antonio for only $199. It was a move in special. I jumped on it immediately, but those bigger cities want more like: $1,999 upfront. And it’s a box in a sketchy area of town, limited parking and not much amenities. No guarantee that business will be steady in those expensive markets either. I’ve been in DC and San Francisco and been busy one day, dead the next. This is even before I started deposits. I was in San Francisco when Trump got elected and people were running up the steep avenues with 🪧 signs. I had only 1 client the 4 days I was there. Wasn’t asking for deposits either.

So far, have you gotten a chance to decide which decision you’d ultimately like to go with? By the way, this line you made: “I don’t send deposits anymore because I’ve been burnt too many times by previous guys who never showed up and just took my money” or “ I don’t feel comfortable sending money to someone I haven’t met yet.” When I was fresh out of high school in Florida, and got tired of working hectic restaurants and “retail” jobs that would try to fit an entire semi truck worth of items into 1 shelf (and I worked in “linens” department with all the fragile items): I switched to an “office” job that consisted of cold calling property owners who WERE NOT actually looking to sell their vacation properties, but our job was to convince them that they COULD sell it. So for between $299 and $1299 DOWN/UPFRONT, we would sit and 8 hours a day call people all around the country. And similar to this thread, it was like pulling teeth trying to get people to pay upfront. But this was real money, with their credit card we were asking. However, they were assured they would get a big return. Needless to say, it was a big scam (I was young and didn’t realize it at the time). And, many of the customers would say, “I’ve been burnt before, somebody else said they would sell it and yadda yadda, etc etc.” I finally got out of that industry after like a year or 2. It was too much. The constant trying to get a sale from someone, and upfront money was crazy. So I know…how hard it is. Eventually I switched to other type of customer service jobs, and then did banking and real estate assistance (yawn, I was so bored I struggled to show up to work…seeing all the executives arrive in their BMWs and Mercedes and me taking the bus which I eventually “upgraded” to a Toyota Camry). Fast forward now, I have 3 vehicles…and once I switched to escorting I didn’t look back. But it’s ironic now that I’m seeing this same level of resistance with deposits among the community today. Granted at the time, and over the times since I started in 2008…I used to didn’t require deposits for a long time. Again, it was only recently in the last couple years (specifically during and after COVID) that I had decided enough was enough of the risks and pro-Bono travel and hotel bookings. Even if I had 100 great experiences, it only takes 1 flake to turn your whole day upside down. And without a deposit: that could mean anything from sleeping in the car, to sleeping in an empty hotel room for two days before you get your first client (which happened to me last weekend, even WITH deposits…1 client sent a deposit but I couldn’t make it because I ran out of gas trying to get to my hotel without getting out in the wicked rain (but I rescheduled him 3 days later and he just wrote my latest review on RM), and then another client who sent $100 but HE couldn’t make it). A deposit essentially makes everything alright, and much more comfortable for me. I never said this story before either but: two years ago just as Covid was starting: I was in the hospital for 5 days. Had an ailment (wasn’t Covid). Couldn’t take a client if I wanted to until I got better. Guess what? I was accepting deposits from my hospital bed, and once I got out: I was eventually able to meet with each client. One was in Naples Florida, the other in Orlando. Then I went to Sarasota. Biggest rebound in my escorting history. All 3 clients sent deposits, so I was able to gas up, book hotels, and everything else. above is the list of states I’ve visited (in blue). I almost want to say New York because I have been in the Bronx region briefly on the way to Boston…but it doesn’t count. I’m looking to change that very soon, I have a trip coming up to New York. So, my experience is very extensive. This is why, people have to understand when you see a lot of things and experience a lot of things: it changes how you do things in your life. Not everybody can please the popular opinion, the masses, or conform to what the next escort and the next escort is doing. Hopefully you can choose the way that works best for you…

Thanks much, I’m glad it’s working for you. Pass it along. And I’ll continue to stay true to what I feel is best and sensible for me as well…even if it doesn’t align with what others may believe or have experienced. Because at the end of the day, I know what I’ve experienced and how I’ve been able to create better ones with less regret and stress, no matter how much I may need the business. I like the putting flakes in a box 📦 emphasis 😆

I appreciate you recognizing my demeanor and persona. And, the newspaper clip was more for humor and reference. I wasn’t trying to use that as an answer to the topic of this thread. I feel though this conversation has gone beyond deposits, and has now turned into something bigger than what it should be. Being that this isn’t a thread I made, I don’t feel I should be the target of what I talk about on the forum. It doesn’t have to go to that level I’m just specifically talking about deposits, and simply giving my opinion about why I as a provider ask for them. However, all I’ve read you say so far is: “I don’t have a problem without them, I don’t need them, I don’t feel it’s the right thing to do, etc.” And fair enough that’s your personal decision. The part that I feel you’re being a bit insensitive, is when it’s then implied that because YOU don’t have to do it, then I should also not do the same: and then comes along @purplekow trying to imply and gaslight that somehow I don’t know what I’m doing, despite it being something I KNOW works better for me. That’s not necessary. No one has to tell me, “you’re not busy because you charge deposits”. That’s basically what I’m hearing. That’s not true. There’s more variables behind that than just a deposit. And I’ve posted elsewhere from other people saying the same thing about their level of business. Why is it so difficult for people to accept what others are saying, instead of making it a deal about a few people being the exception? My question to you Vin specifically: because I know you’ve said it somewhere and I quote: “I don’t stay in hotels much these days” And from what it sounds like (correct me if I’m wrong), you are doing a lot of Outcalls, right? So…how would you feel if instead, you had to host clients in hotels…in addition to traveling to San Diego, Los Angeles, Palm Springs etc. How would you feel if you had to pay out of pocket upfront for that expense, with the possibility a client may cancel? Because in my case, in my area and many I travel to: clients tend to usually need me to host. Especially in Kansas City, idk if you ever been out this way: 99% of clients in this area can’t host. The only ones who can host, are usually staying in a hotel. So I’m always in a position to drive up, book a room, etc. There is one client on this forum who booked me here and did something very kind: he booked the hotel AND prepaid me my session before we met. I couldn’t have asked for a better scenario, but I don’t even expect that usually. I usually just get deposit, measly $50/$100…not a million dollars, and then book the room and get the rest in person. Easy/Peasy. I don’t feel it’s nothing to be arguing with me about, or for others to come and make snide comments and try to paint me as being some kind of con artist or person who isn’t busy because he chooses to use a little common sense. I know this is WAAAAAYYYY more explaining and defending than what’s required or even needed, and I’m going to wrap it up soon because the holiday is in a couple days: But I’m just willing to stand by and make sense to people because…nobody should have a 1 size answer fits all when it comes to deposits. People have to be willing to respect an individual providers preference…at least here on the forum because, people read things here.