JB_Studio38

Yeah, but that was a good idea about the person suggesting to write up a template. I was actually doing that for a short period, with a picture of the template I would send to clients. That may work since people seem to skip over things. But actually, I’ve also sent clients pictures of my ad, highlighting the part of my ad that answers the very thing they’ve asked. Some seem to make it feel as if I’m suggesting they are dumb, but if they’re dumb enough to not read it, I have no qualms making them feel dumb lol. At the end of the day, sometimes I think these guys know what they’re doing. They’re not dumb, they’re just intentionally trying to make something not work out in some cases. They aren’t 5 year olds. They just think they are more important, and that we don’t deserve to be treated as something to be scheduled. If they can plan with other people and things they have to do, they can do it with us.

That’s the thing. Just like I said in another post, Ask and Coordinate. You’re never going to know. Remember each escort has a life of their own. It’s not going to be the same for each and every escort. Clients try to guess and gauge, and that’s when we get annoyed. No guessing or assumptions. ASK with the intent that you probably won’t get an appointment that same day. If you do great, but if it’s the only day of the year you can meet...they should have booked it like a plane ticket. Like one client who I had to dump: he asked me twice, “by chance are you available”. The first time I was. The 2nd time, I was, but once again...him wanting me to host with short notice, and by a certain time. Couldn’t do it, so we discussed another day. Then he couldn’t stick to it. So I dumped him. I won’t be toyed with like that. Rushing me around last minute, and then cancelling when we try to plan ahead to get the time they want. I insulted one guy awhile back. I said, “You claim to be a college graduate, so are you playing dumb, or can you just not read?” At the time, I specifically said I don’t host same day notice appointments. He texts me after the gym, when I’m high on testosterone, asking if he can come over for an incall TONIGHT. And it was already after 7 pm. Some people admit they don’t bother to read ads. I told one guy yesterday, if you choose to disregard, don’t be surprised! I don’t spend time writing these ads, for decoration.

Lol the first part sounds about right, but not so much the 2nd. What did we learn from rentboy and the college admissions scandals? That said...being this thread is similar to my recent post, I don’t mind same day or advance appointments. Neither is bad or less productive in of itself. But it’s more about how one goes about it.

I also realize this issue is especially prone in smaller markets and cities. In places like DC and San Fran, I have had trips where all my calls the whole trip were outcalls. But in middle American cities, like Kansas City: Hardly any client can host. It’s almost like they are terrified of having another type of man seen knocking on the door or something. Who knows. Idk

That’s a good point. However, I make that clear already in my ad and over initial texts. I say it atleast 2 or 3 times: 1 in my ad, 2 over text during the initial request, and 3 usually again as a reminder. I also mention that because when I’m in my home base, I generally only host after 2 and before 11 am. However, more often than not...they either: A) can’t plan in advance B) can’t meet during the times I have available Just today I had 2 clients who requested in calls (one included the message above). One of them, I reached out to yesterday early afternoon around 1:30 to let me know what we can arrange...didn’t get a response until 8:30 in the morning today. So I had to coordinate last minute with him. Eventually we did meet, but almost didn’t. If I hadn’t already been in the vicinity from a trip over the weekend, I would have probably either been rushing like crazy or had to postpone, for the 3rd time. The other guy, he tells me: Monday: Man, wish I could now. So horny. Wednesday or Thursday work, after 12pm? Yesterday: Ok. Not sure which day yet. Closer to noon the better Today: Will have to be midtown if today. Maybe another day. Notice how once again, he doesn’t even bothered to try and plan in advance. Just says, “another day”. So it’s like: 1. not only does he want me to host, 2. not only is it last minute with not much planning (Wednesday or Thursday after 12 could be any time, but then says closer to noon the better). But 3. most times, I’m also expected to be in an area close to them. Like how in the world is there so many stipulations lol. If I’m hosting, why should it matter where I am. He CAN’T host, so therefore if I’m going out of my way to pay for hotel, have said hotel hold $50-$100 on my account, then he should be more than willing to work with what’s convenient for me, because he can’t host. I’m already making it convenient by hosting, and hosting last minute. The least he could do is be willing to come to the location where I am and not fuss about the time. I had a freebie hookup the other day, who had a similar dilemma: he couldn’t host, nor could he come to the main part of the town I’m in. It would have involved me going 60 miles to him, and getting a hotel. A hotel I ALREADY had. When I visit my regular client to visit there, I don’t mind. But he cancelled. So why the hell am I going to go way out there, and get a room because he can’t host? It’s just really annoying and turns me off. They want to engage in an activity, but are so limited and don’t respect the fact that we are not superhuman beings that are always going to be convenient to them in every way. They need to stop thinking with their dick, and think with their head. If they can’t do it, then we won’t meet. Sometimes I feel, if it’s that important for me to host near them...they can just go ahead and get the room themselves. That way it won’t come off being selfish, cheap and inconsiderate. Because it comes off to me like they feel I’m so desperate to make money, I’ll be willing to drop anything to be convenient for them.

And that’s exactly why I don’t deal with dicks and dickheads lol.

That’s the thing. I do exactly that. However, when people disregard directions and make it difficult to connect, that is essentially counterproductive to what I’m trying to do. Its not just that it isn’t convenient for me, it’s not possible. I can’t accommodate impossible requests. That’s not a matter of inconvenience, it’s a matter of coordinating things that work for both parties, not just for one. It’s like any other business that has their hours of operation, or clinics where you have to make appointments. Even in regular hookup scenarios, there’s still a process of arranging a fuck session. Sure the “come over now” stuff happens left and right, but most of my hookups off clock usually involve some degree of planning. If someone disregards the set order in which I ask to do things, it’s going to be a repeated failure in connection.

Very true. And I know the horny glasses clouds visibility. But they should know better. That’s basic common sense. It also prevents: “Can you host now?” “Yes” “Where in town?” “(Gets address info) “Oh sorry that’s too far”. Yeah because if they were any closer, I’d give them a nuggie and a wedgie for being irritating lol.

I just wonder if anyone else grapples with this. I have it pretty plainly in my ads that I like advanced notice when hosting locally. Mainly because I’m not always in work mode when at home base. But it seems it just doesn’t give, people still request appointments the day of, but they can’t HOST. They seem eager and rushed to meet, but have an expectation that we are readily available with open schedule for them to just walk in the door, with little to no advance planning. Sometimes I just don’t understand the psyche behind it. If someone is truly trying to set up a meeting 1 on 1 with someone who they’ve never met, don’t know anything about beyond an ad and pictures, and have no idea where they may live or be hosting...why is it appropriate to assume that one can simply text, ask “are you available to host now”. Whenever that happens, with the exception of me being already situated in a hotel...I just find it invasive and pushy. It just gives me this vibe that someone is trying to barge into my personal space, unannounced, AND when they try to give time limits (They are in a rush to meet by X time, but fail to properly plan it ahead), it makes me feel that they feel, I have nothing better to do with my time AND it sets the tone that their time is more important than mine. And I’ve not even known them for 5 minutes ??‍♂️ I had this yesterday, and told the client to walk. For one he initially contacted me Saturday asking me to host, and I told him I was on my way out of town (actually he seen I was on my way out of town, and decided to ask anyway). Come Tuesday, he texts me again asking to host at 7:30 pm, to meet before 10. Saying he has to work the next day... I told him, it’s not all about you. Guess what? I have to work too...and I was in fact on my way to another client. The bravado of this dude was rather offensive. Not to mention he didn’t even try to schedule in advance for when I returned to town, when I was talking with him Saturday. Solution: if a client needs someone to host, PLAN IT. ASK. Coordinate. Don’t just assume one can just up and pop over to an escort’s place on spur of moment. I’m currently trying to reschedule a client who last week, was being pushy about meeting, saying he could come over right after lunch. Ummmm, no you can’t. I am not a walk in clinic. Even when I had my own place (which I don’t now, which makes hosting more challenging), I still didn’t like clients getting into the habit of being able to call last minute, and barge into my personal space without much notice. And I find if I allow it once, they expect it again and again.... so I don’t even like to allow myself to get into the trap. There’s nothing wrong with last minute or same day appointments. But the issue comes when one is expecting another to do something they can’t. If they say, “I can host or travel”, then that opens more room for options. I wonder would they be okay with an escort calling them asking to come over out the blue? In my experience, 99.9% that’s a HELL NO. So then how is it fair to think that I can accommodate on such short notice?

Do you reach out to the ones you may be interested in? You may be surprised to know some could be open to it, especially with your body type. I’m usually top myself as well, but I’m a believer that...I would not turn a guy away who is a top. He could be my type in every way, I’m not going to pass up. Just like last night: sucked him off twice and put in half of his dick inside me. Fortunately we discussed ahead of time, there wasn’t going to be no fucking involved. But I don’t mind giving a teaser...

Interesting assessment. I don’t know a whole lot about street trade because that’s mostly vanished outside of the biggest cities. Not to mention I’d just be hard pressed to do it. Re: recessions, I started around the time of the 2008 recession. I got let go from a intern banking job, but I wouldn’t be surprised if karma bit them in the ass because, it wasn’t long before the recession came around. And that was in Florida where it hit one of the hardest. However, I had later moved to “recession-proof” Texas, and it was survivable. However, that one was obviously a lot different. This hits in more ways than 1. There was also the brief oil recession couple years or so ago, and some layoffs ensued. I still feel this is like what happens after a major Hurricane strikes. It obviously lasts and affects for a couple months or may have long lasting effects. But once things recover, it should be on the right track. I’m not an economist so I’m just speaking in general. However, there’s a looming feel that all he money being dolled out and borrowed, could create some manifestations down the line. It’s just hard to tell. I know down the line, there will be a lot of “we should of did this, instead of that...”

Yeah that is a good point. I’m sure there’s some way to access those. I’m sort of having 2nd thoughts myself. This is all happening during a time where I am pressed to relocate, and now it’s being thwarted. Even though some of the demand is still out there, it’s going to be harder to build a momentum. I think the scariest thing isn’t the virus, but how many potential clients may be unrecognized. That of course then leads some of us to take any appointment we can, which can lead to issues.

Well that’s understandable. But I’m seeing even if someone does decide to go ahead and work, I’ve already seen I may have to revert back to the previous way of doing things with some people...because some people are using it as a way to back out of appointments of such. One guy hits me up yesterday for a session, then sends me this bull jive: I am going to have to pass this time as it's too must of a risk if one of your clients had it in the last 2 weeks I could get from you and bring it home to him So my response was: Please don't waste my time with scare antics and guilt trips pertaining to my biz. You reached out to me, asking for a visit. If you are scared, don't contact. Last thing I need is for someone to be coming around talking about stuff that’s on tv round the clock anyway. I’m already seeing some cities are completely devoid of all escort/massage providers. In a way it could be an opportunity, but if people are dropping out because there’s nothing happening...that could be a different animal. And people need to also not assume someone hasn’t already crossed paths with this. As new information comes out, they’re saying some people reacted to the virus with symptoms different from the usual. There’s also a good consensus that this was around before it hit headlines, and when I had my weird body going into overdrive to fight the virus symptoms, everything was still open full blast. The media said the first Coronavirus case hit Florida sometime in March. I’m sure it was floating around far prior to that.

You don’t have to read. But just admit it was jerk move to ask in the open, if I’m an illegal or felon. And if I was, was I going to sit here and say it? I made one general statement, which was not against you, and you turned it into something irrelevant. If you can’t recognize that, clearly integrity isn’t your strong suit. Moving on... I heard on the news about DC being on extended lockdown. https://www.google.com/amp/s/thehill.com/homenews/coronavirus-report/497535-dc-extends-stay-at-home-order-to-june-8%3famp The re-opening comes right around my preferred time of year to go between June and October (couple years ago I went around this time, and couldn’t find a hotel in the city for a few days due to graduations). I don’t know what the market is like there now, but I want to be front and center on the days of reopening. I can see it now: But at the same time...expectations are going to be low, and care will be priority.

Driving across is even more strict. It’s a traffic stop on steroids. I did it once, and never again. Like I said, Canada can stay up there...there’s plenty of cities in this country I can enjoy. I mean, I’d love to go to Edmonton, and Calgary, and Montral/Toronto...but if it’s going to be akin to judgment day, standing in front of the father, the son, and the Holy Ghost...while trying to enter the gates of heaven...I can wait a little longer til my time comes. If it’s that much work, I rather go to Africa. The motherland and the most diverse continent of them all, versus Canada. Find me a Moroccan sugar daddy, an Egyptian sugar daddy, a Nigerian sugar daddy, a South African sugar daddy...

I know what I posted and I know what I read. There’s more than enough examples out there about Canadian entry for me to not have to do extra work to explain. DUI is not the only example. There’s plenty other reasons out there. And you even said it yourself:

I was just making a statement about wanting to go to Canada, but that I’m aware it’s not a simple entry process for all. That’s all I was saying. At this point though, I’ve not really been interested in going up though. If I want to go to Canada, I can just go to Florida, Michigan, or any of those Great Lake states, and get the similar experience without the immigration hassles lol. And despite the fact I travel like every month, there’s still a handful of cities right here at home I’ve not been in years. San Francisco, Houston, Boston, SLC, Seattle...it’s been years since I’ve been to those places. So why go to Canada when there’s still places here I can catch up on.

? I already see I’m going to have to talk to you INDIRECTLY. I can’t quote anything you say because you go out of your way on being rude and disrespectful, just like the other one you was beefing with. Y’all should get along fine. Otherwise, don’t make assumptions. I’m very much a citizen and I don’t have anything felonious on my record, so don’t question my background ✋? But...since you defer, here you go. Do your research. It’s true if more than 2 people are saying it. https://m4m-forum.org/threads/australian-couple-denied-entry-into-canada-because-of-dwi-fine-in-australia.116760/

I would hope so, because we’ve been paying to be on those sites all this time.

I’ve always wanted to go to Toronto or Montreal. One of my middle school teachers in Florida was from Toronto, and he pretty much taught us everything about Canada and Toronto lol. I know for a fact I would make big bank out there as well. But it’s still somewhat hard for Americans to get into Canada. Every city outside of Los Angeles and NYC, because I never get much in LA, and I’ve still never “worked” NYC lol. Also, clients and sugar daddies are 2 separate things. I have a friend (White guy, which makes a difference) in Denver who has a sugar daddy. He’s brought him cars, $1,000s of dollars, everything. He now doesn’t even work, and he’s almost 40. But as far as my knowledge goes, his sugar daddy has never hired “escorts” so to speak. I find sugar daddies are common in larger gay cities. In those places, guys tend to not want to pay an escort. It’s like a client in Orlando I had years ago, who wanted to be my “boyfriend”. I didn’t want that, he wasn’t my type (I thought he was attractive, funny, and kind...but he wanted a certain lifestyle for me that I wasn’t looking for). And I feel sleazy getting into a relationship with someone because they have money. I may be a sex worker, but I’m not the type of person who chooses a man because he has money. I rather be with a broke guy my age who I’m attracted to, than to base my relationship on status. I find smaller markets and towns tend to do better at meeting “clients”, usually the discreet married types don’t want to “sugar” anyone, they are fine with an occasional pay arrangement. There’s a reason why places like LA, Miami/FTL, Nashville/Raleigh/Charlotte, San Diego, Atlanta, and Chicago are hard sales. Those towns have a fair share of guys who are financially challenged, in a city with guys who are fairly wealthy. So, those types feel they don’t have to buy an escort, when they can find someone who wants $100. But that’s why I’m glad to be 32 and getting older, because I’ve graduated from the “broke black boy” stereotype, to the “commanding black entrepreneur”. The only thing I do now for 100, is a deposit towards a longer session ☝?

Hell, I could ask myself the same question lol. Everytime I go to DC I don’t want to leave. A 3 day trip turns into 3 weeks. But DC is also an advanced level city to work in. The traffic, the weather, the competition, the prices, the constant crime and government presence...it’s a lot, not to mention the fluctuating racist/classist undertone. It takes a strong person to be succesful in DC. The ones who are, are quite adept. They’ve found their comfort zone, and have become part of the culture. Meh...idk. I remember one of the EOY from DC told me, “there’s no convenient spot in DC.” Meaning, no matter where you are in the DMV, you’re going to be convenient or inconvenient to someone. Last time I was there, I spent a few days in the Maryland/Alexandria area. I actually was pretty busy. Nobody said I was too far. However, sometimes people won’t want to go across to VA. Or they’ll be clear out in Bowie or Largo. That’s why it’s good to have a car in DC. There’s potential in the whole metro, and staying in DC proper and paying those prices, isn’t always necessary.

I’ve been on that side of the spectrum as well. Not necessarily from clients, but prospective fuck buddies as well. And yes that’s annoying and disrespectful. I currently have a prospective fuck buddy who’s been doing that the past 2 or 3 times we’ve tried to meet, and even though I’m being understanding...After the last time I just about gave up, because he texts me at 10 am, then doesn’t respond to my messages until damn near 1 am, the next day. And I was really trying to coordinate things, and because he didn’t respond, I lost motivation. I’m going to give him another chance, but only because most our plans have been tentative. It’s a difference between having a life, and having a DOUBLE life. And a mofo who takes 12 hours to reply to a text, is living the latter. That’s understandable. And that’s why I said, I don’t want to lecture or explain why I have a life. Once we meet, I usually find clients are pretty cool talking about real life stuff, but beforehand I know it can sound dramatic, so I try to not bring up too much. I’m not looking for sympathy, but boundaries and understanding. For example. Couple months ago, clients kept wanting to meet the week I was in the hospital for 5 days, and I had to keep finding excuses that I couldn’t meet. I enjoyed being able to communicate from my hospital bed, but in some ways I could sense them wanting to meet ASAP, and in my mind, I was like...if only they knew. But of course that would be unnecessary information, and with COVID 19 coming into play at the time, last thing I wanted to do was mention anything about hospital (aka contagious). So I would just say I was busy for a few days, and check with me next week. Once we met, I did tell them why I couldn’t meet...but that I wasn’t diagnosed with Corona.

I say this because lately, I been feeling like there’s this unspoken expectation. The expectation being that we as men of the evening are “available” and in the mood at all times. Ready to chat by phone, ready to talk dirty by texts, ready to drop what we’re doing and dash out the door for some much needed cash. As much as I’m honored that my ad gains attention, there’s another side to it. I don’t want to spoil anyone’s fantasy, but truth of the matter is...one never knows what’s going on behind the scenes in a sex worker’s life. And I know it’s not necessary to explain it to a prospective client, but the other night I had to sharply let someone know: we have a life too. What gets me are guys who get frustrated because I have to move the times around, and they say, “well if you can’t be here by X time, let’s just cancel” or “you moved the times twice already, etc”. Yet I want to tell them, before today...or yesterday or whenever you messaged me, I had NO IDEA this meeting was ever going to take place. There was a whole life happening, before they contacted me. I have also usually have no idea of their schedules either. I know communication is key, but most of the times, setting up an appointment involves just the necessary essentials. Even though I try to predict when a client may contact (sometimes I try to leave evenings free, but then I may get calls first thing in morning or mid afternoon), but Sod’s law has it, it doesn’t work that way. I rarely ever get appointments when I’m “ready” to take them, I usually get them when it’s least expected...which involves some compromising on my end. It can be hard to switch gears from one frame of mind to another, in a short amount of time. How do you best convey that you are interested in scheduling a visit, but that you need a day or 2 before you’re in the position to see anyone? Someone called me while we were texting today, and I just straight up said I can’t chat, I’m the middle of something right now. Which I was, and I was not willing to chat about something that I was perfectly fine discussing by text.

Good word ?? But I think at the end of the day, this isn’t simply a provider, or male escort issue. I think it’s a GENERAL gay issue as well. All the stuff about meth and taking advantage of, exists in the gay community beyond escorting. Escorting is simply an activity within the lifestyle. Like I’ve said before, spend any significant time in a gay bar or gayborhood, and “messed up” men are nothing out of the ordinary. And that’s not picking on or putting down anyone, it’s just how the gay lifestyle is. Last Sunday I was out and about (albeit in the White suburban area of the Midwest), and when I look around, there’s no gay couples. All you see is family and married guys. I see guys I’m attracted to, before I know it their wife and kid runs up to them (which doesn’t mean we can’t fuck, but still...). I don’t see anyone I can relate to. THAT, fucking messes me up. Me going out and making $300 to fuck, doesn’t mess me up. Dealing with other gay guys, is what messes me up. Despite the many progressions that gays have made over the years, fact of the matter is, it’s still hard for many. There’s still not enough acceptance from straight people, and many gay guys are still not treating one other with VALUE. When it does, it doesn’t come easily. And I’ve known guys who’s only reason for popularity is because they had very good drug connections.

My thoughts: why stop now, when there’s been things that hit far closer to home than this. People were still coming into the biz, despite the hundreds of thousands of cases of STD, Hepatitis (and there’s been increases in that, according to various cities STD clinics, before COVID 19), and HIV. Same as I’ve been saying already on the forum, but I don’t have too much time to elaborate on at the moment. I didn’t stop seeing clients, nor was there any 2nd guessing if I would. The question I’m wondering: when are the rest of the clients out there going to start hiring again lol. Couple weeks ago, one of my regular clients came by. I was outside most of the day, which in the Midwest around this time of year, can trigger allergies, which triggers my asthma. We had to end the session early because I was short on breath (and not from the action lol). It was exasperated by the fact that I forgotten my asthma medication at home. Later on he was telling me that he hope it wasn’t COVID 19. I told him I’m pretty sure it isn’t, I’ve been dealing with this on and off for years. Sure enough, once I got my inhaler back...I was immediately able to breathe normally. We met again a week later, but then after the session I was gasping out of his place because he had incense burning, and that is a definite asthma trigger. Point is, there’s always stuff out there. Why lie to myself by stopping something temporarily, and then going back once things are “safe”. Obviously you don’t want to take unnecessary risks if you don’t have to, but I’m not going to give myself a false sense of safety. Think of it this way: If I were to ask this same question to a die-hard church lady, or to a random, Uber conservative doctor, what would their answer be? Would they say, “it’ll be safer to wait until COVID 19 is over before going back to having multiple sex partners?” ?