JB_Studio38

Right, but that’s just one of the parts to the equation. There’s been plenty times where I’ve advertised in advance, but someone still managed to contact me as I was checking out of the hotel with a cart full of luggage. But otherwise yes, in theory it is better and practical to advertise in advance of going to a city. However, if someone is say; a flight attendant (and I’ve discussed the caveats of trying to be a flight attendant and escort before)…you won’t really know too far ahead. They’ll just pop up. I knew a guy who flew into Phoenix at 4 p.m. and was out of there by 5 a.m. hypothetically if he was an escort he coulda squeezed a client or 2 in. But that’s not a conducive way to plan an actual escort tour in real life.

Well, what’s the incentive for someone to stay much longer? And what region are you in? One thing that has to be remembered, hotels are EXPENSIVE. And I’m not just talking the ritz or Westin. Even so called “budget” hotels can end up costing $150+ just to check in for 1 night. If they ask for a $100 deposit (which is becoming even more common in budget hotels) which is why I’ve been using them less often. So, to just hang around a city for days and days on end, is not a smart move unless it’s actually busy like that. I’ve done that before, mainly in DC, Phoenix, Denver. But, if it’s not steady enough, it can start to feel like a casino: break even, break even. Get a couple wins, then you’re paying money back into the lodging. Like I say, probably best compromise is to either just be ready or sometimes: I’ll even stay in a destination longer if a client sends a deposit. Like, if I’m planning to leave, but it won’t hurt to stay, I’ve asked for deposits and extended my room for an extra day or so. But not much beyond a couple days. I won’t extend a whole week if I’m not planning to.

It’s unfortunate you both are citing very similar things that “real” providers (like me) are also dealing with on a DAILY (sometimes multiple times per day). I can’t really speak on any 1 person’s circumstances, but sometimes it may come down to the little things. And I’ll mention: In my experience; anyone who doesn’t show their face in an ad even on a free site…is likely to bail last minute. It’s not like that for clients for the obvious reasons, however it IS like that for adam4adam clients. I will not see an A4A client who doesn’t have a picture, and it’s usually a bad sign if they only have 1 picture, or if all their pictures are of their dick or ass. Secondly, are you going with people who have a “name” or just a “screenname”? Someone with a name like “SexyStud4U” is going to more likely be a flake than not. That just sounds like a screenname where it’s 1st come, 1st served. And your appointment will likely be treated as such. Also, I know some clients here don’t like the sound of a deposit…but look for guys who are asking for a deposit/cancellation fee in their ad or other site. A deposit gives both clients and provide more incentive to show up. Last month, I was running a little behind to an appointment out of town, and as I was on the highway, an unexpected snow storm came and packed the roads. I had to drive like 45 mph for 30 minutes, which made me run even more late. But since the client made a deposit, he didn’t jump to conclusions and cancel out like some other guys will do (because when you think all escorts are flakes, you start to think any issue leading up to the appointment, is going to lead to a canceled visit). I eventually showed up, we had a great time, and are meeting again. Just yesterday, I had a RentMen client cancel a session with me. It was supposed to be an outcall to his hotel. I reached out the day he arrived, “do you want to meet tonight?” He says, tomorrow will be better. Tomorrow comes, I follow up to reconfirm (notice the pattern? I’m contacting him first). He seems all good to go, but then once we discuss the time frame that I’ll be arriving…he comes up with some work excuse about meetings canceled, and he’s going to try and fly back home early (which I believe might of been a lie). Just wasted my time. He’s supposed to send half cancellation fee, nothing. Then tried to make it seem like it was my fault. Idiot been kicking tires since 2020. Now his number, is on Mr. Number (the site no client wants to be on). So now, I have to go right back to what I was doing, and making sure every client knows they have to send a deposit when booking. Or cancellation fee of half if they bail.

As a follow up: there’s a truth in what you say but, some of it is on the “surface” and just for “show”. I connected with 3 Asian guys over the past year, 1 who was half, the other a client, and another who was a “down-low” escort/massage guy. Anyhow, the down-low Asian guy and I hooked up 1 on 1 before. It was a good time, and he was very into it. But, down the line we had a client 3 way, and he definitely seemed into it (client is White). Later on, I seen him out with an Asian and a group of White guys. I was like, I knew it. He’s open to a Black guy behind closed doors, but wants to display to the scene that he’s only into White guys. All too common scenario, SMH 🤦🏽‍♂️ At the same time, Asian guys can be very hard to read. They’re often super upfront, but also don’t seem to express what they want when getting to know them. That’s been my experience many times. Like, I’m not about to keep playing these games with you ✌🏾

Well, you know the market there moreso then I do, so do tell what the local providers have to say about Buffalo before I consider that! lol. However, I also would imagine its proximity to Niagara and Toronto would make it a good summer time destination at the least. But that’s also something I have to be on the watch for: seasonal cities. Umm, umm…last time I was there was around August 2019ish I believe. I’ve been out there a few times over the years, but it never grew on me in the end. North Carolina in general, it “should” be the next California or Atlanta, but it’s far too conservative and has a “vibe” I didn’t necessarily “vibe” with. That’s not a good or bad thing, just my take. The area has also become much more flaky on subsequent trips. Hence why it may be underserved. I remember a guy on here, I think Devon Hunter, who lived in Charlotte and he hated it. Probably in the same way I can’t stand my current market and want to leave like yesterday…

Good analysis, and I’ve been in that position many a times. I remember last year, I drove to Las Vegas somewhat last minute, and stayed from 10 pm to about 3 am. I wasn’t trying to get a room and spend the night because I had to be elswewhere by 5 pm the next day. It was basically a “drive thru and see my friend, and keep it moving” but I was open to see a client if one booked and was hosting. I think what’ll help, is clients should avoid “window shopping” if they aren’t prepared to meet at that moment in time. I always say: clients love to expect us to be available right away, but they would never expect to be available right away if we called them. Even if the escort says, “advanced notice only” and you are just “checking”, still be ready to book right then. You never know, if you’re available and he’s available, why not? I don’t understand some guys who lurk around the escort dens looking for basically nothing. Same with the Grindr circuit (which I logged on for the 1st time in 20 days, because I’m over THAT shit too). They aren’t really trying to connect, they just want to browse and kill time. Maybe they’ll get around to meeting, one day. I don’t have time for that. Keep it moving

lol, I’m not laughing “at you” in this post, but certainly laughing at the mutual understanding behind it all. I totally get it because often times, clients will do the same thing: call at the last minute, after I gorged myself on either food or alcoholic beverages, only to tell me, “I can’t tomorrow, I have an early flight”. Well sorry I didn’t know you even existed 2 hours ago 🤦🏽‍♂️ It all comes down to preparation though. That’s why often times I’ll post ads up long before I even have dates planned. And like @Shawn Monroesaid, even that can backfire because maybe they are looking now and not available in 2-3 weeks for shipping and handling. I just wish once again, RentMen would allow more providers to design their ad and travel city dates in a more conducive, productive way. They obligate us to put dates up, and we can only put “near travel” if it’s a city within 250 miles. Then clients get mad at me because they say, “your dates kept changing”. Well yeah, because I never intended to have a set “date”, I intended to advertise before I arrived, to allow clients to get a chance to speak with me and coordinate a date. People see a date and think, “oh you’ll be here Friday?” No…I never said that. I’m just putting a hypothetical date on an ad, and if I don’t have anything scheduled ahead of time on that date, I won’t go until a day I am comfortable with. I learned long time ago: never go to a city without at least 1, preferably 2 appointment booked ahead of time (unless you have someone you can crash at for free, otherwise you could end up wasting money before you even get your first client). There’s been a couple times I’ve been able to go somewhere with no one booked but turned out well, however it’s not something I normally do…and there was often another incentive behind it.

Yeah, I can see that. However it seems on my last couple runs, I actually did pretty okay out there. I think it might of changed up, because Albuquerque used to be a good destination for me, but now I find ABQ is usually dead and have been rude/flaky clients, whereas Santa Fe seems to be more busy. It’s crazy how these markets change. But at the end of the day, it probably is better kept as a destination versus a full move. I kinda want to move somewhere that’s a little more “normal”. Not that NM folks are abnormal, but it’s a very “niche” state. It’s a culture that idk if it’s for everybody long term. I’ve been thru that area before, Providence. Didn’t spend a whole lot of time there but wish I’d of stopped there maybe instead of Hartford Connecticut. I know I mentioned Buffalo because it’s location seems convenient to both the northeast and the Midwest (likely at the surprise of @BuffaloKyle) but Providence is probably a bit too far northeast. And idk how I’d feel living in the nation’s smallest state. At the same time I can see the appeal being between 2 megapolis’s. At the same time also: idk if I want to rely on such big cities for biz. Even “small” markets like KC and STL have far too many ads up than the city even supports. I see all these ads up and wonder why anyone bothers because there’s nothing going on out here. Just 24/7 flakes and BS.

I think at the end of the day, it‘s not going to be a direct hit on providers…thus, it’s really not likely to make any huge changes on us. You might just have to count a little bit here and there. But with the way business is so dry and dead right now in many markets; I doubt it would amount to much of anything…

Just taking a shot here: but I’m asking because I’m urgently ready to leave my current “market” this year, in exchange for a bigger or more lucrative city. It just seems harder to find apartments these days. Many of the private landlords have sold out to air bnb (and despite the practicality, a recent browse thru Chicago air bnbs gave me a less than optimistic chance that it’s a better alternative than hotels). I know there was a provider who posted his luxury unit in DC a couple years ago, but I’m just going to say straight off the bat: I wouldn’t be relocating with bank rolls. Having to regularly return to a dead market after a few days or weeks of being on tour, recurrently does damage to my finances. It’s a little harder (but generally what I’ve done) to handle bills while traveling, so when I return home and most of my tour money goes into that and I’m not getting enough bookings to make up for it, that’s just recipe for setbacks. But I won’t go too far into the logistics: I’m just ready. I’m even ready to move to a city without a place lined up. I’ve lived in a lot of cities over the years, but I don’t know why some cities are like that. You can travel thru, and do okay…but once you move there, it’s a whole different story. However, I recall Missouri not being great as far back as 2012. I used to travel thru here on the way to/from the east coast, get a hotel for the night and hardly anyone would ever show up. I’ve been residing here part-time since 2018. Some weeks I’m comfortable with the level of biz, other times it’s unsustainable and I’m out of town. And lately it’s been that way since summer ended. I’m just ready. I am not “desperate”, but I am desperate for a change. I can’t do another season, another year here. I’m hoping to be done with this place by February/March. I’m not even looking for the biggest cities, but something sustainable. I’m eyeing Seattle, Buffalo, Santa Fe, even Texas is sounding appealing as a lot of people I talk to are leaving Missouri for Texas. But, that’s also an oversaturated market. I want to make a careful next move.

It seems to say “all” accounts over $600 a month will be reported. I know there’s PayPal business account, but not sure about cash app and Venmo “biz” accounts.

I don’t doubt that. And I’m not saying that he didn’t care for us by any means. He did a lot. But…as far as condemning some of the behavior on the forum which may have not appealed to some escorts (thus the question of why more escorts don’t participate), I can’t say he was “eager” to do so. It’s like some teachers I had back in school. Some were great teachers and loved their students, but they didn’t really show enough stand against bullying. It was the ones who really nipped it in the bud, that the kids knew they couldn’t get over on. I can’t exactly remember anymore what it was, but somehow there was an email exchange between him and I…and he posted it on my review page. It stayed up for months, and it took an intervention between him and another “member” (who he also eventually fell out with) to get it taken down finally. I had also asked him to modify some things in my review page, and that never happened either until the new panel took hold. I’m not trying to diss the guy, but…I feel there was times he could have stepped in but didn’t. I did notice, once “guy Fawkes” stepped in, he started being a bit more proactive about it. But I know personally from in person meetings, that he usually strayed towards devils advocate. Again, about that topic re: do White guys have it better. Do you think more “non-White” providers may have a different view (considering the ones who have either been run off or not interested?

I think he was speaking generally, however I can go ahead and answer that while you’re at it. Even though those requests and fantasies do happen (and tbh I’m not really all that offended by it, but usually more annoyed when someone just messaged me off the bat with something along those lines, especially the “pretend you’re breaking into my house and rape me” nonsense. I try to draw the line between “thug fantasy” and doing sketchy shit that could go wrong. Some of these guys would make great screenwriters for porn, but that’s not something I’d be willing to entertain from someone I’ve not met before. At the end of the day, I don’t HAVE to play up a fantasy or role I don’t wish to. I used to think I had to take whatever client request I would get. And it’s just not true. One guy even wanted to do 1 of my videos with a sling in the room. But I mentioned to him that I’d prefer it not be in the scene. No diss to the leather community, but I have a rather high maintenance (soon to be X client) client who always asks for leather and rough and verbal play. It would be fine if it was just a one time thing to try out, but this guy wants it that way EVERY time, and then half ass keeps the appointments. I like the nasty pig “style” of gear and clothing, but I’ve backed away from the nasty pig style of sex. If I’m going to be overly aggressive and dominant sexually, I have a prototype that I’d do that with. Not all clients fit those parameters. So I focus on just normal hot and steamy s*x.

Very well said!!! Which leads me to this question: who is more approachable out of these 2 pictured (hint, in the gay world, the answer would be, both 😆

Very true 💯. I’ve been told the exact same thing. This past year I’ve worked hard to not bring up certain things, but sometimes the biz pushes you to need to discuss it anyway. People also shouldn’t “push” an escort to use their real provider name, just like an escort doesn’t push clients to reveal their real name. I went thru a period where I used an alias, but I decided in order to speak my truth, I need to be my true authentic self. Especially in this day of age, sports players, TV personalities, everybody is out there giving opinions on social media and people agree and disagree. It’s not a big deal, unless you’re in a job that can fire you for saying something (and even Nick cannon got fired from his show, then came up with a whole new show on daytime TV) I know there’s the risk of offending some, but it’s all relative. But otherwise I concur with your last statement. Also will say: and bless his soul, but the previous website owner didn’t particularly “foster” escort reputation. It was usually, “whatever people say is your fault “. I feel this new “panel” of owners has a better investment to escort welfare, and doesn’t readily egg on such mentality. I noticed the clients here seem friendlier and less judgmental than before. I see the forum is moving away from “reviewing bad guys”, to “interpersonal relationships and fostering camaraderie among clients and escorts”

Yeah I don’t think I’ve done any last minute appointments this year at all. The only one I gave a little leeway too is my 32 y/o bi/Latin client out of town. We were going to meet the night before, but he flaked and then HMU in the morning. Since I was already in a hotel, it wasn’t an issue to give him his birthday gift 🍆 before I checked out.

What defines approachable?

I guess the question should have been "why do". But I think you and @Benjamin_Nicholassummed it up pretty nicely, and that's good that you're recognizing it and have desire to improve it as well. I'm not trying to give off the impression that I want to have a pity party or feel jealous or inferior towards other guys in the biz. Nor do I want to convey that I'm "not" in demand. Heck, I just launched my new website that is really just a more private, focused onlyfans, and I've been surprised at the number of subscribers I've reached so far. So don't any one get me wrong and think I'm feeling sorry for myself or begging for sympathy. I had a enlightening experience last week, I danced (this time as a HIRED go-go dancer with a special theme, not the "amateur strip pole" dancers that audition in cities like Dallas). For majority of the night, most of the tips were coming my direction (from mostly White guys and a few women too lol), and I've not even had a whole lot of stage experience. So that really gave a different perspective on the whole matter as well. I may not be doing so well in a certain market as an online escort, but when I'm live on stage it's a whole different animal. Only caveat is: it's not something I wish to do all the time. Despite the fun and easy money. I guess sometimes it makes me wonder, how can someone be in the same city on the same ads, but one is getting bookings and the other is hardly getting any? I know it's all relative, and not the most conducive thing to concern over. And @Storm4UI think you're absolutely right when you say, "not all Black providers are the same". And that's not being cliche, but it's true. A client can say, "oh I have 2 regulars who are Black." Well that's great. But that says nothing to improve the topic, any more than someone saying, "I have 2 friends who are Black'. All that really tells me is, there's a guy out there who happens to be Black, and he's been fortunate to connect with someone in the already smaller pool of clients we have to work with. And if that person happens to be in the same city, then it really doesn't do a whole lot of justice unless the client is wanting to give a chance and recreate the experience with another Black provider. But I'm certainly going to be making moves to change soon.I know there's better out there for me.

When I’m in Saint Louis, most of the clients have been ones from out of town. At one point I had optimism that St. Louis would be a steady market and to make a full move (right now it’s just roommate and it’s his place). But local clients there have diminished considerably. It’s still a little better than Kansas City overall though. Kansas City on the other hand, I barely come across local or traveling clients on a day to day basis. But when I do it’s generally last minute incalls that I can rarely do, or I’ll get bookings when I’m planning to travel somewhere. When I reach out to the local ones here to follow back up and arrange something, they don’t even fucking return my messages or anything. In addition to that, I’ve found many of the ones who contact me in St. Louis have multiple reports for being timewasters. These 2 are like the worst market ever. But other cities like nashville and even Chicago seem to not be all that much better. At this point my RentMen is expired. I’m not going to even bother putting it back up yet, because I haven’t even gotten anything from it since I been back last Thursday.

Again? I’ve never stopped thinking about it lol. It’s just I’ve had my hands on a couple different projects over the past few months.

I know this is probably a case by case topic, and for some maybe even uncomfortable. But it has been awhile since race among providers has been brought up. But I do so because there does seem to be a truth in these things. I keep in touch with a guy in my local area, who's White (and a bit older). Whenever I reach out to him and chat, he's often mentioning that he has a full schedule of clients for the week (generally 3 or 4 because he works other job). I also chatted with a friend who came to town a couple of times last year and was busy the whole time with clients (on his 1st two trips), but noticed he didn't return a 3rd time and seemed to have slid out of the biz. Both guys in question were White. Meanwhile in my case (referring specifically to the Kansas City/St. Louis and surrounding cities market), it's often day by day I have next to no bookings. I go thru a cycle of either being completely void of calls, or I'll have a handful of clients reach out, but right off the bat are inconsiderate/difficult and either flake or don't seem to take arrangements seriously. It's not usually this way when I travel (in the right markets, I've met 3 or 4 clients in a day), but it still makes me wonder. Why does it seem easier for White (or more bluntly, non-Black) providers to connect easier with clients in certain markets, it seems?

But to answer the question: even though the reasons for raising rates are apparent, I don't think this would be a good time to do it. I don't believe I can reach enough clients at $350-400, especially again...in smaller middle America markets. It also bears repeating: these "new providers" are just that. Rookies. They aren't looking to sustain themselves from the business. They are looking for get rich quick shit. I had to dump a friend for that very reason, he spent all our time talking about how this date and that date he went on the guy had money and paid for all his shit. I was like, dude, I'm so fucking tired of listening to your quest to find a millionaire. He might as well have been a sex worker, yet criticizes me. This is not just about rates. It's about our culture seeing RentMen as some temporary extra cash thing in addition to their normal job. This has negatively impacted the industry because many clients operate in a way that shows 0 fucking respect and acknowledgment for those of us who do this full time. So many times I hear clients who think I'm just doing this for the hell of it, so that's why they thought it would be "okay" to flake out.

Just quoting all 4, as there's a lot of "stop and think" quotes here. For one, I didn't really realize $300-400 was "becoming" the norm. However, I think it'll help to first stop and take into context where this "norm" is coming from. If you're talking about New York/L.A. maybe. But that's defintely not the case in interior America (and Texas/Dallas isn't really a great example of that because Dallas/Houston have technically become the "new California" every since the 2008 recession). Hell, you'd be lucky to get $250 in places like Kansas City and St. Louis. People out here aren't even paying for shit to begin with. And like Lucky and Marylander said, I really do feel in some markets, clients aren't even hiring anymore. I think the last time I even had a "new" client in Kansas City was December 9th. Granted I've been out of town at least a couple of times since then. But I've had several "attempted" clients in the area who have proven to be full of shit or waste of time, or like the one from Saturday: quote my rate and they whine that it's too much. What the fuck were you expecting me to say, $100? These people have no fucking clue. And I told RentMen that in an email the other day, the clients contacting us on there are clueless. Clueless about rates, clueless about travel cities, clueless about how to even communicate initially partly because they haven't done enough. And because they haven't done enough, that's why I haven't renewed my ad yet, and have simply come out with my own website. JarrodBrandon.com. This year, I'm not playing anymore games. It's definently going to be time to change cities and change markets. I deserve to be somewhere that I can be felt respected and appreciated. It doesn't have to be $400, but at least have some clients who have the decency to follow thru when they contact.

This 100% And having an advanced booking cancelled is a lot more damaging than a last minute booking because you generally have more expectation of it happening. Plus you may have turned down other things. Lately, in the past few years or so…I’ve been booking sessions of “advanced” notice generally a day or 2 ahead…with the exception of a special City visit. But even then, that’s the most it’s usually been and that’s usually fine with me. I like a sweet spot with a bit of common sense: it doesn’t have to be “now”. But just be normal. 2 weeks ahead of time can be bit far out when a guy is “available now” and needs to make ends. I also prefer 4 hours notice for same day bookings because that’s usually about how long it’ll take to stop what I’m doing, commute, etc. unless I’m just already in town at a hotel and can take someone on the fly I see this in other situations as well: last weekend there were supposed to be 6 of us calendar guys attending the Kansas City model signing event for https://www.lupineenterprises.com However, only 3 of us showed up. This event was planned way back in November. So to hear 3 guys not show up (for valid reasons) kinda killed the vibe for a moment. But, the 3 who were in Kansas City made the best of it and it turned out really well.

Wow, you're beyond the realms of just traveling escort lol. You're an all around Renaissance man. You would be considered Mr. Worldwide 😄 That said your level of travel takes a lot of drive and desire. Despite my love of travel, it's just not as fun as it used to be. At-least within the states. And by fun, it's just in ways that things have changed when it comes to hotels and even bookings. A lot of cities lately have been slow. You may have dozens of inquiries but only 2 or 3 actually show up. And that's lucky because sometimes it'll only be 1 or 2. I also don't have desire to just sit in a city for days on end waiting for bookings anymore. Hotels are too expensive. Lately with the exception of select markets, it's get in and get out within 2 or 3 days. Unless I go to an actually undeserved market, which has been my focus majority of 2021 and will again in 2022. All the big city markets are whored out to oblivion. It's also sad how many people who don't escort rarely travel or relocate. Many, especially in the gay Black community, just never leave their home base. We can talk about how things have changed and gotten better, but there's still people who are stuck: stuck in the same neighborhoods, the same counties, the same fucking city and state where they grew up in. Being able to move across the country should be an accessible task for many. Unfortunately, only the corporate upper echelon get to do it with ease. Or us escorts if we don't intend to plant too much ties into the location we are.