JB_Studio38

Hmm…not always though. I’ve said it before but, RentMen simply isn’t the King that it seems. There are some cities where I don’t get any biz from RM. Sites like A4A, here, and even RentMasseur have often times done better for me. And in small towns, forget it. Might as well get on Grindr and sell backstage, versus trying to find anything on RM. The odds are just that low. I feel any place that gets potentials and providers in a space that they can mingle, is worth using to an extent. In reality, I think Instagram is the true king…but it’s a lot going on. There’s clients who I follow and they follow me. But it’s not catered to any one subculture. Then Twitter is global and a porn pit stop. At the end of the day, seems it’s best to use as many of the platforms that’s available, to maximize connections.

Exactly, but at the end of the day: Well, not that I don’t care but…it’s a discussion forum. The advertising and sweet talk is plenty in the ads. And in person. I’ve gotten over the whole “be sweet and kind when you post here, or you’re going to ruin your business”. Well by all means, don’t bring up anything, and just let everybody make the same mistakes and not learn any input from the other side. Great. That’s not realistic.

Of course non p4p guys who are hooking up with you are putting in more effort than the guys who are paying you. Ah, no. Trust me on that. Most non paying guys out here, are putting minimum effort. It’s actually the clients who seem to be showing more effort. Part of why I’ve cut back on dating and hookup apps, is because I got tired of the low effort mentality most of those guys come to the table with. I rather meet someone at a nightclub or thru friends… You're the one trying to convince someone else to give you money. You should expect to do more of the work to make it happen because that is kind of what you are getting paid to do. Convince someone? You know how this works right? I’m not trying convince anyone, they are actively seeking and I just so happen to be offering. It’s not that kind of sales business. There’s already a need to be fulfilled. You're competing with Grindr and Sniffies. A lot of the things you want from your clients are things they are paying to avoid. If I have to deal with all the same crap I normally deal with on Sniffies and Grindr, get my own hotel room and pay some money on top of that, I'm just going to keep the money in my pocket and go back to Grindr and Sniffies. Well, maybe that’s what you need to do then 🤷🏾‍♂️ I mean…at the end of the day, hiring an escort isn’t promised to be the exact accommodations you want. We’re not Hotels.com that you can just call up on a moment’s notice and get a room. Granted: some days I can accommodate like that, but most times…I don’t get people to show up when I am. I started during a time where one could do well just doing outcalls. I did that in one city for like 2 years. I rarely ever hosted, but I was always getting calls to the best hotels, condos, and homes. Every once in awhile I would host, but it was when I wanted to stay in the city for the night. That said, the idea that we’re competing with guys from apps: It’s not as it seems. If a person wants to browse and hookup for free, they’re going to do that. If they want to find someone to pay, they’ll do that too. When I look at my clients, and then look at guys on apps (even though I’m aware some clients also use apps), there is no competition. Partly because the concept is different. Even in small towns where there’s low/no competition on apps or RM: it’s still not any easier. Either they aren’t gay, or the ones that are, generallyy don’t want to pay.

claiming they can host then demanding a hotel fee right before the apt (in one case the provider met me in the lobby of a hotel which I assumed was for his comfort Well I already addressed the above, in another thread. I do think providers should be upfront about their situation with hosting if it’s not necessarily readily available. In that case, a deposit to cover at least a portion of the room, would be better than just having the client show up and not be checked in. That’s why I do it…And I think it’s a low drama way of doing biz. Client sends deposit, I can book the room, and all is well. Versus the drama of: A) booking room before I substantiate the client is serious about an appointment, only to be told “I didn’t book an appointment”. Or B) waiting for client to show up and then meeting outside for hotel and collecting payment (which is tacky and doesn’t give me time to get my ambience situated). Everything else you mentioned, it does sound ratchet. But again, you might be picking the wrong guys or tighten up your filters. Especially when you say you “left your wallet” in someone’s hotel room. And again you say you walked out of another hotel room. And then a 3rd time you mentioned going to someone’s studio apartment. I think I know what the issue is: Maybe you need to stop going to guy’s place, and just host yourself? You wanna know something: in my personal hookup life, I learned to stop going to guy’s places for first meetups. I kept having shitty experiences too. Now, when I’m on the road or have my privacy at a hotel…I either make guys come to me, or I bring them back to my hotel. I only “travel out” for paid clients. Every once in awhile, I’ll have a couple guys that I go to their place who I can trust. But even then, there’s been guys I went to, and had to stop going because they turned disrespectful. Why am I going to waste my gas and energy visiting someone like that? I almost feel some people get off on being a dick and having guys come and go, back to back. I don’t do that shit anymore This is why I encourage clients to not RELY on the escort to host. We’re both adults. You can be ready to host just as much as I need to be expected to host. Even if you’re married. There’s hotels. Some accept cash, most will accept a re-loadable type of card. Call ahead. Perhaps wait until the escort arrives, before booking the room. If he doesn’t, you’re not at a loss. Now there’s even dayuse if you can’t stay the night. If I have to host and I’m not doing it from a place I already live in, there’s going to be a deposit.

It’s not that I don’t understand. It’s just: Jokes aside, I always say: I can’t speak on what another escort did or didn’t do. That’s not to dilute your experience by any means but, everyone has a way of doing things that suits their needs. I know I don’t disappear or change my terms. That can happen whether there’s a deposit or not.

Not necessarily. Why do you think: RentMen offers advertisers the option for verified photos? Why do you think we can’t place our numbers in our ad (search bots). Why do you think we have reviews? Why do you think we have a block function on RM messenger? Why do you think RM has no need to filter anything? I’m not saying they’re not responsible for anything. Things are a long way from newspaper and “HotSpots” magazines (which I don’t personally have experience in but: I could imagine the lack of screening and just having nothing but a phone number had to be a different experience). They have recognized that they have some power over the screening methods. Which is great, but we need more. Ha. I woulda never thought YOU, woulda never thought. Sex workers have been lobbying for the cause for years, where have you been?

I just wrapped up my 1 week “hiatus” from RMen. But since then I earned a client from RMass the other day. Fortunately/Unfortunately, I had to go back to work. But, I paid for it with borrowed money 💳 : The one client I had all week wasn’t enough to cover my personal expenses AND a Gold RM ad. I understand RM is basically an advertising platform. I know they don’t make or break or steer the industry. They also can’t help some “potential” clients are full of shit and play games. Especially in areas where the men are already cheap and stingy with their money and always looking for free dick and ass. RentMen can’t change that mentality. That’s why I had to come up with my own set of standards and website for dealing with people.

Great coverage. I’ll be reaching out privately. Everything said hits the topic. That’s why I’m glad I found Reddit sex work community, they are so much more real about things. It’s just with it predominantly women, it’s not always the same level. For example, it’s more common to do quick visits and also charge $500-$600 an hour. However, what ways do you refer to specifically scarcity mentality among M4M providers? Well I think it bears mentioning: I can’t speak on RB but the whole thing with backpage was bigger than just sex work. Agendas, trafficking, different kinds of seedy activities. That’s why I was not condoning one poster in another thread not to “go to the police” being harassed over phone by a provider. First thing the police going to do is ask a million questions, and then bringing RentMen up just further scrutinizes the site and industry. Not that the behavior is justified at all but, it’s just the reality of it.

I am aiming to do that, however it’s not as easy as just dropping everything and going. I used to be able to do that more readily in my 20s, but now I realize doing that means making concessions for change of license, health insurance, car insurance. Example: I always had the desire to move to Arizona, but when I brought a used car there one year: I didn’t realize how hectic it is to get a tag. Such as: won’t pass emissions if your check engine light is on. Then that’s a rabbit hole of additional expenses to pay. Then when I took the car to Florida, I was hit with another surprise in change of insurance rate and “one time new resident” fee. Which fortunately I was able to bypass, considering I had a license plate from there previously. But it took multiple trips to the DMW to figure that out. Of course non of that is unattainable, however: that makes it take more time. In the meantime however, I travel my ass (and other parts) as much as I can. But, I’m not able to consistently stay on the road long enough, to always be the new guy in town. Especially in the summer, I have a tropical garden that I can’t always rely on it to get rain, and it’s been close to 100 degrees everyday. So I usually have to come back and regroup in between trips, but that often means not being in a position to immediately travel again. And this month, has been exactly that. After sashaying in a few cities during May, June and early part of July: I’m beat from the heat and expensive hotel rooms. Not to mention, lot of areas this summer can be slow anyway due to vacations, kids out etc. Gurl, have a seat 🪑 I have moved to different markets HOWEVER: I have also seen markets CHANGE. For example, Nashville was once a somewhat lucrative market for me. Wasn’t always the best. But it was better than what it is now. The amount of ads have tripled, and the prices of living have skyrocketed. My last trip there last month, I stayed for a week and earned less than $300. Minus the amount I spent on the hotel…It was horrible. But not surprising. It’s too saturated. Just because I’ve switched markets doesn’t necessarily mean it was the market I chose. Most times I’ve moved, it’s been due to a reason not related to the business, or to be closer to relatives. Exceptions were Denver, which I first moved back in 2011. It used to be a gold mine, but similar to nashville: it became overpriced, overnight; and saturated with sex workers: When I moved there, it was only like 5-10 of us. Cities change all the time. What was hot in 2016 might not be popping in 2023. Making mocking statements isn’t necessary. It takes a bit more understanding of these things. Exactly! And even high expenses doesn’t guarantee more opportunities in the industry either. So many guys getting into it, it’s not the same it seems. The good news is, there’s opportunities still in crowded cities. Sometimes it just depends on where one’s look will sell the best. Even though I complained a little bit about San Diego earlier this year, overall I did GREAT because all my visit were $250+, sent deposits without fuss, and were fun during the session. But I only met 4 during my 2-3 weeks there. I had wanted like 2-3 during the week, and 1-2 on the weekend. It just wasn’t as busy as I wanted it to be, but that doesn’t mean I didn’t have a good time. And the nightlife…was giving everything lol. Not to mention the beach: I’d move to San Diego if I had the means to do so. However I can’t just up and go without a couple thousands to drop on a place or a roommate who already has a place. It’s just not a joke to move there on a limited budget. I need $5,000. How much income is required to afford rent in San Diego? FOX5SANDIEGO.COM As rent prices continue to climb across the country, San Diego appears to be no exception.

I think too that’s the main hurdle with same day bookings…it’s too hurried and rushed to be able to plan anything. However I like to secure it with a deposit to be sure. And that’s exactly why I do it, so yeah: that’s the only way to game the system. It’s the incentive and screening, and weeding out the curious from the serious. It’s also easier for clients to no show incalls versus outcalls. Even though getting stood up for outcalls is much more inconvenient, I still ask deposit for both. I think the key is, to not be afraid or intimidated or even persuaded to feel you will lose/not get business if you ask a deposit. Even if clients talk about being ripped off before. That’s unfortunate but, clearly this client was “ripped off” and didn’t even send a deposit. So it’s not the deposit that’s the scam, it’s the provider who’s the scam.

I’ve never had to do anything like that before. Especially for an hour visit, assuming it doesn’t involve “multiple loads” (which is usually never). I’ve done overnights and accommodated clients the next day or beforehand. Not something I’d normally do, but…I know the inconvenience of being cancelled/stood up on, so wouldn’t want to do the same. But anyone who does, they can consider themselves “privileged” for being able to drop one client for another. I never find that to be good “dick energy”. There’s ways to value and include bookings without leaving anyone hanging

I’ve been hearing about tryst from the other side of the pond (and not talking about England). However I wasn’t aware one could post for mSm type of sessions. I’ve signed up but, I read it can take awhile to be approved. Like, months. But could be some way to expedite… Sometimes though, sites that blend with straight providers, can bring an extra challenge of iffy responses. Similar to Craigslist and BP. But might be doable in the right areas

Especially if you’re driving even moreso lol…the flexibility is great, but sometimes it may 🤔 some clients. I may decide to stay in a city longer or shorter than posted. That’s why lately, I’ve kinda stopped planning trips so far out anymore. Only if I’m planning to be heading there that week. But right now I’m eyeing some destinations to travel in August, and haven’t posted anything except my local area. It helps to get some visibility ahead of time, but most of the inquires are going to think you’re there. Or they won’t be when I get there. And nothing pains more when the area you’re in is dead, but the area you’re traveling to next month is all your inquiries for the week 🤦🏾‍♂️

I think some people expect to be one step ahead of the game, if they skip over an escort’s ad writing, and just contact outright. It must be a belief that’ll get what they want faster than just taking 1 to 2 minutes to scroll thru and read the ad… But it’s not ideal if they have to ask right from the bat if they’re in town, or can they meet today despite it showing dates.

I feel I’m spending the equivalent of $5 of gallon living in the area I’m in. I’ve gone to Seattle, San Francisco and San Diego where that’s common…but once I arrive to my destination, I don’t have to drive much more than a couple miles to where I need to be. Especially in San Diego earlier this year. The beach was walking distance, and tons of stores within 1/2 gallon of gas away. The only time I had to commute, was for my specific gym, to see a client or go to Hillcrest. Meanwhile, I’m commuting an hour or more living in thee Midwest, to visit fwbs and clients. Some of these fwbs know that I have to drive far to see them, yet they turn their nose up or don’t even offer to cover what I spend on the ride there or back. That’s why I’m just going to focus on clients until I relocate, and leave all the frugal fuck boys in the dust. They don’t value my time or energy, and it’s all about their pleasure and convenience…at my expense. Most won’t even travel too far outside of their neighborhood/town for sex anyway, so why should I bother going out of my way if they aren’t paying…

I wasn’t intending to imply I had a bad day. In fact yesterday I had a great day. Had a new outcall appointment that went well, and later won something in a game. It’s not about good day/bad day. It’s just bringing light to the fact it’s some shiesty people out there. Specifically, sheisty guys who are always out looking for MSM sex. They put on a facade, showering with compliments and talking how horny they are and how they want multiple loads. But it all changes when there’s a request for some payment or reimbursement. If I don’t get a no-response, I’ll get an insult, or be compared to some dick they can get for free. But wait, just a few minutes ago he made it seem like I was exactly what he wanted 🤔

I suppose, that would be the easy, low effort way to handle it. But I’m believer in, if someone wants to make it happen, they’ll put the effort. I know because, I’ve met guys (mostly non-clients) who couldn’t host. And guess what I did? I picked them up, like a gentleman and brought them back to my place or hotel. And took them back. And the sex…out of this 🌎 . I’m not looking for easy and convenient, I’m looking for those who seem attentive and have the look I want.

that’s a good analysis, however I just want to clarify I’m not really interested in running a new escort site. I have my private site that I’m running, and it’s the furthest I want to take it for the time being. However I feel, since I’ve been with RentM since they started in 2009ish, I do hold some level of loyalty with them. I understand some of my suggestions might not be possible (I discussed the paying for content thing before, and there was an explanation for that. And rates obviously, that’s something that would need to be carefully implemented as well). I just want a few simple changes, that can make a big difference. Having a site myself, I know how easy…yet tedious it can be to make basic changes.

Well, hate to break it but: this section was once ask an escort, now it’s ask Questions about hiring. Not dissing the update but, it didn’t exactly “further inclusion” by providers. So… But other thing, I have found a new community where sex work is discussed more by providers. Albeit it’s mostly women, and tend to operate on a different pricing: they seem much more open to initiating discussions and topics, even among clients who actively read and post. I just feel many of the MSM pay community like to play the safe route: presenting a facade and avoiding transparency. Understandable if you’re protecting your bottom line, but not great for the better good of those in the industry. Also, the current sites don’t seem to be directing providers to the platform as much as prior sites. Remember, Rentboy used to direct us to daddy’s reviews. Now RentMen/masseur has become its own review platform. It’s not as necessary to win over people here for reviews. IMO, for an escort to want to post here, they have to really want to engage and be a part. Since the forum seems mostly client oriented, I can see how some wouldn’t want to step into the lion’s den…

And since posting this, gas went up like 30-40 cents in my area overnight 🤦🏾‍♂️ Gas prices just saw their biggest one-day increase in a year | CNN Business AMP.CNN.COM Gas prices are going up. The national average price for regular gasoline surged by 4 cents a... That said, going forward I won’t be expending any extra energy on stingy men, no matter how bored or horny I am. And if they want to get an attitude and play ghosting games just because I ask them to do their part, then fuck ‘em. Actually, won’t fuck ‘em. They want me to go out of my way, while they do the bare minimum. I’m not for it:

All the guys who claim to not/never pay for sex, do exactly that but don’t realize it. The drinks, the dinners, the driving across town, the apartment they rent so they can host, the time they spend trying to package themselves for consumption on Instagram: is not free. Going to the club spending $100, not free. But I realize I am having a moment because, the part of the country I’m in the amount of “I don’t pay for it” mentality is exorbitant. It almost seems to be a fad out in this area. Being cheap and finding it for free as much as possible, is cool. Fuck this place, giving it one more month to work out: if not I’m out of here for good 😤

Yeah, I feel part of the change has to start with “us” (gays). As long as people give it and throw it away for nothing, that’s going to be the norm. And especially for non-White gays. I won’t go down a race card route but, that’s the other reality: Wealthy gays will let a White guy use and abuse them for thousands of dollars, yet the moment a non-White (e.g. Black) guy gets $250 and doesn’t put out, we’re every name under the sun, plus a scammer. It’s not right. When it comes to gas money, people like to make it sound trivial like…it’s something one should be able to afford. If not, they look at you like you’re a broke bitch. But, many gays seem to be oblivious to the fact that $3+ gas for this amount of time does have an effect. I’m basically paying what California prices were for gas, back in 2018. For example, there’s one card that I use for gas purchases. And it’s likely more than that because I don’t even use it every time. It’s likely in the $500 range. And one guy I was briefly dating had the nerve to question my earnings, when I told him I didn’t have the gas money to go 90 miles out of my way, to see him. Because generally, I need to reserve that for clients. I told him the next day, how dare you. So out of line, to even question me, when I’m the one spending money to go out of my way and meet. And he was too cheap to ever offer gas, but on our (last and final) date, had the nerve to discuss with someone else, how the military is paying him $24,000 to relocate Overseas for a couple years. Why even bring that up, when I just had a discussion previously that I’m hard up for funds as it is? It’s stuff like that…shows blatant disregard for the ones they want to be intimate with. I’m just breaking that down once and for all, for all the ones who look down on others who ask for gas money. Because it’s really not even about that. The main topic is much bigger than that.

…Why do many gays treat their prospective hookups, like the s*x isn’t worth a dollar? Now, I’m not judging the fact people hookup for free. Or saying everybody should pay for any type of connection. But one thing that gets me, is how: one can say to another gay that they’re for pay, and they get an attitude or turn it down, or always have to make some sly remark. Case in point: I thought I had another but, I blocked him so: message is gone. But it was something like: “I don’t pay for what I can get for free”. I responded, umm..get who for free? Not me…maybe someone else though. I am so over the aire of entitlement that many gays have. As if they SHOULD get free access from anybody they approach. The other day, I went with a friend of mine to the Tiffany store, and he dropped $1,500 on accessories. No shade to that, it’s his money free to do how he pleases. But I know for a fact this guy also doesn’t pay most of his hookups, which are always met off hookup apps. Sure he may do drinks and dinners, which is cool. But I know there’s guys out there that operate the same way: they’ll spend hundreds and thousands on material things, and drive a Mercedes/BMW. Yet won’t even offer $20 for gas, to someone who’s coming from 100 miles away to visit them. (true story). As much as I enjoy the good clients in the biz, it’s a lot of “emotional labor” (gotta love that term) dealing with weekly instances of gaslighting behavior from potential and even return clients. Gaslighting to make me feel I don’t know how much to charge, and am delusional. Meanwhile, during the Taylor Swift concert in Kansas City, people (some gay) were paying $1,000+ just for a seat. The hotels were higher than my rate. Yet, I have to be expected to bend over backwards and forwards, just to be gaslit that $400 is too much. $300 is too much. $200 is too much. Hell, for some of these guys, they act as if $25 for gas is going to send them to the poorhouse. Meanwhile they’re bragging on this and that, and how good their job is 🤦🏾‍♂️ Then there’s these guys out here who have plenty of money, and a partner/husband (aka dual income), yet still expect to get free cake and eat it too. I have friends like that, and I think to myself, these people are counterproductive to everything I stand for. Why even be in their presence, if they believe sex is only worth a drink and a burger…but will spend $1,000s on high end accessories and meaningless home upgrades. But I’m crazy for asking $300?? 🤷🏾‍♂️ I think if I were to leave the biz, I wouldn’t even be compelled to replace hookups with the action I get from biz. Being I see and have experienced so much devaluing of gay sex, I would only do it sparingly and with someone I know is serious about having a genuine, consistent connection.

As someone who has done all of those drives you’ve mentioned: I tend to more likely incorporate locations within a tour/travel plans versus limiting it to just 1 appointment. I’ll often have an anchor city (somewhat similar to anchor client but: moreso a city with a purpose for visiting) that is my main destination, and then just include locations along the way. Like when I travel to the west coast from the Midwest, I usually have several anchor cities that may be 2-4-6 hours apart. So I try to work it all in. In that case, it wouldn’t necessarily be out of my way, though it would still involve travel. Which will typically requires a deposit as well. As for how far I’d go to meet a client on a non-tour drive, I will do that up to 3.5 hours away. I feel 3.5 hours is just within the amount of time to be able to go there and back, and spend the night. And even if I only have 1 client, it could be worth it. But there’s usually the opportunity to see more. For example, being in Kansas City I’ll occasionally go to Tulsa, Arkansas, Des Moines (though I haven’t been to Omaha in awhile) Last year I tried to do 2 trips, but clients kept dicking around with booking, and it seems to be a common scenario in that area 🤦🏾‍♂️ However, all of those require the caveat of needing to be booked AHEAD. Not a week in advance, but at-least the day or 2 prior. But most people reaching out don’t think that far ahead for some reason. I usually won’t drive 3.5 hours away for a same day appointment when I’m home. Usually when I’m already on tour, I can get on the road quickly. It’s not always guaranteed if I don’t have enough notice to arrive. For a typical same day ride/come home or back to the hotel same day for 1 client: I will usually max it to 90 minutes away. Here’s also an example below of driving time between 2 cities you mentioned: but notice how it’s not rush hour in SF yet. That could easily add 30-60 minutes: In my case, if I were visiting San Francisco, I wouldn’t leave there to visit someone in Reno for a 2 hour session. I would try to incorporate it along the way to my next destination. If I were living in SF, Reno would be close enough to my 3.5 hour limit preference. But I’d work it in if booked ahead, and with deposit+tip.

Can we step away from what the technical requirement/definition of a strike has to be? We may not “work” for them, but we still pay monthly memberships to them. I also didn’t advocate for a boycott, but moreso a plan of change. Just because I want something to be better or different doesn’t necessarily mean it has to be a rebellion. I just sent them a message basically going over the same things I mentioned here. Hopefully they’re open to consider the suggestions.